Author's Note:
Hesper: Konniciwha Everyone!!! ^.^ *wearing a Santa hat*
Hiri: We have an ultra special notice for you all, hm. *wearing deer antlers with red nose*
Hesper: That's right! We are going to have an ultra special event that has to do with the holidays….
Tobi: Yays! We wanted to do this because you all were good readers! *wearing elf ears and green santa hat*
Hesper, Hiri, and Tobi: A CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!!!!!!!!
Hiri: That's right! The author decided to have a Christmas (sorry for people of different religions, but hey! I'm not Christen either. I just love presents.) special just because you all were good readers, hm.
Hesper: So if you want to suggest anything…go on ahead! But…please be mature.
Hiri: *Laughs* Ironic much, hm.
Tobi: VicEveSamAlex wants to remind you that she does not own Naruto. She does own Hiri and Hesper though.
Hiri: She would also like to apologize in advance if she insults anyone's traditions or religions and please no flaming.
Hesper: She would also like to apologize for the shallowness of Hiri, Hidan, and Hesper…hey wait! Author! That's wrong! I'm not shallow at all! I demand a script check! Author!
Tobi: The author will also like to remind the Sasori-fangirls out there that Hesper will love Sasori-danna and vice versa. They are just a little slow on love. She would also like to remind you that she is NOT a Hidan fangirl and only wrote that part because of her friend, Hiri.
Hiri: Sigh…let the show begin.
Leader stared at Hiri in shock. His shoulders were leaned back and his eyes were wide. This girl was astounding. She marched right into the room (without knocking) and slammed her fist onto his dark brownish-redish smooth $500-dollored mahogany desk. Leaning forward, she addressed him in a rude fashion.
"What is the meaning of this, um?" She asked in a dangerous voice.
Leader recomposed himself and rolled his pen between his forefinger and thumb. "I don't comprehend what you are addressing."
"Christmas! Christmas! What happened to Christmas! Why is there no Christmas for the Akatsuki, yep?" She questioned.
Leader sat up straighter as Hiri leaned back and impatiently waited for the answer. Searching for the correct words and clearing his throat, he wondered who on earth was stupid enough to invite two teenagers into an S-ranked criminal organization full of men. Whoever came up with that dense idea was to be punished. Oh wait. That was himself.
"S-rank criminals don't have time to be celebrating Christmas. Putting up decorations and celebrating not only wastes time, but it also wastes money and alerts other shinobi our location. Besides, aren't you a Jashinist?"
Hiri twitched. "I am a loyal Jashinst, but I want presents damnit!" She stamped her foot angrily.
Leader has never seen an S-ranked criminal stamp her foot like a brat. He can now say he never wants to see it again.
"Sure, don't blow anything up. Don't do anything stupid. Convince Kakuzu and Hidan." Leader paused. "Good luck."
IN HIDAN'S ROOM….
"WTF! No! I will not celebrate some f**king pagan holiday, and I'm not going around pretending to love a fat old guy who needs to lose weight!"
"C'mon, Hidan! There will be presents, hm." She nearly begged. "And food!"
"It's a stupid s**tty Jewish-"
"Christen, hm," Hiri interrupted.
"-ritual! We are Jashinsts!" He barked in her face.
"WHY YOU…."
DUE TO UNNECESSARY VIOLENCE PORTRAYED IN THIS SCENE, THE AUTHOR DECIDED TO BLOCK IT OUT. SHE DIDN'T WANT THIS TO BE REPORTED FOR VIOLENCE. ^.^"
"Mxfqzotiwecsilawetyugbsableh….." Hidan mumbled.
"That's what I thought you said, yep." The violent teenager said. "And clean up your blood and guts that's all over the floor."
After that, Hiri ventured into Kakuzu's room. At first, Kakuzu immediately refused, claiming that it wouldn't fit the budget. However, after Hiri showed Kakuzu a suitcase full of the greens, he quickly agreed, stating that he loved the smell of pine and that it would be a wonderful chance to get to know everyone. What he didn't know was that the suitcase full of money was stolen from Kakuzu two weeks ago by Hesper. But, what he didn't know wouldn't kill him right?
Days went by and all the Akatsuki members seemed to be enjoying Christmas. Hesper and Kisame traveled to the Konoha forests to find the best, as Tobi worded it, most magical Christmasy pine tree. Sasori and Deidara were busy putting up the Christmas lights, which of course, brought many arguments about art. Hiri, the best (and only) cook in the Akatsuki, was whipping up everything she thought of. Gingerbread houses, sugar cookies, chocolate covered pretzels, hot chocolate, turkey, and other exotic Japanese foods sprung from the whimsy ingredients and blossomed into delicious foods. Konan quietly put up the Christmas tree decorations, she didn't need the four artists killing each other over it. Itachi, using the Grand Fireball Justu, attended to the warm crackling fire. Tobi, was of course, working his hardest. Hanging up stockings, cramming Santa hats on the Akatsuki members, and basically as he put it "making the place look pretty". Kakuzu, being the Scrooge in the Christmas Carol, managed the budget from the safety of his couch. Hidan sat in his little emo corner mumbling and cursing about this stupid pagan holiday. Everyone was obviously working hard, so hard in fact, on Christmas Eve…they realized they forgot something very important….
"CRAP!" Hiri exclaimed as she gripped the deer antlers on her head. "We forgot the mistletoe, hm!"
Deidara's right eye twitched. "Mistletoe, yeah?"
"Every Christmas party has to have a mistletoe!"epser shouted as she crammed her Santa hat on her head.
Tobi scratched his head in a very Tobish way, "What is a mistletoe?"
Hesper sighed. "A mistletoe, or Viscum album, is a parasitic plant that grows on branches of evergreen trees, where it forms bushes up to 2 to 5 feet in diameter. When the sticky berries come in contact with the bark of tree, generally pollinated through bird feces, it will grow. After a few days, it forms a think fragile root that pierces the bark of the growing wood. It has the ability to tap into the juices and the nutrients of the host; thereby making it a parasite. The forked yellow stem is smooth. The thick leaves resemble a human's tongue, broader at the ends, and roughly about 1 to 3 inches long. The small flowers, which bloom around May, are arranged in threes near the forks of the branches. However, the flowers will differ depending on the sex of the flower. The fruit is a smooth milky white berry that ripens in December."
"If used correctly, it can cure tight muscles, improve circulation, internal bleeding, convulsions, arthritis, gout, hysteria, asthma, whooping cough, hypertension, dizziness, headaches, rapid heartbeat, etc. Because of the chemical reactions that happen within the brain cells that allows to user to experience calming effects, this plant is also used for a tranquilizer for physical and mental exhaustion. Although the mistletoe is a toxic plant, the herb is used and highly respected in the medical field. The side effects are convulsions if young children eat the berries." Hesper stared at Tobi with knowingly eyes.
"Boil 2 ounces of the bruised plant with a half of pint of water and give one tablespoon to the patient. Ten to sixty grains of the crushed powder with cold water is also good for the digestive organs and treating ulcers. They can use to cure severe stitches." She began to go on and mutter to herself. "I need to replenish my supply of herbs and medicine; I used all the other ones up last night. Let's see for Kampo, I need mistletoes, tealeaves, angelica roots, licorices, bamboo shavings, jujube seeds, skullcap roots, sesame seeds, sawtooth oak bark, Japanese ginseng roots, etc. Arghh. Can't get the ginseng roots because it's December and it doesn't grow around here, and buying it at the market is more expensive and less effective…." (A/N: Kampo is the Japanese medical art of herbal treatment. Sakura uses this style when she is using herbs, grinding it up as tea, and feeding it to Kankuro.)
"SHUT THE HELL UP, HM!!!!" Hiri yelled.
Deidara, who was still processing the whole lecture, started up. "Wait! What do you mean by using all your herb and medicine? I helped you replenish your supply last week, hm!"
"How in the world did you know all that?" Kisame asked Hesper. Then, he turned to Deidara. "And why were you off picking flowers with my sister?"
Hesper sighed. "I'm not THAT dumb."
"Um….you see…um…er…" Deidara stuttered.
Tobi scratched his head again. "So…the mistletoe is where?"
Hesper sighed. "Forest to the left of the base. Look for evergreen trees that look like they are dying."
"Okay! Tobi will be a good boy and find the mistletoe!" He gleefully skipped outside and headed towards the forest to the RIGHT of the base.
After a long moment of silence, Konan sat up and set her hot chocolate down in the process. "I small accompany Tobi. Thank you for the hot chocolate, Hiri-san, it was delicious."
"No prob, yep! I'm glad someone likes my cooking." Hiri stated as she glared at Deidara and Hidan.
"What? It's not my fault your food tastes like s**t." Hidan mumbled defensibly.
"Er…I wanted to go on a…er…diet, yeah." Deidara said meekly.
Itachi snorted into his mug. "That just proves that you are a woman."
"NANI?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" Deidara shouted.
CHRISTMAS DAY
Everyone awoke to Christmas with a blanket of snow over the trees and grass. The disgruntled members got up and aided by the trio (meaning Hesper, Hiri, and Tobi) began opening presents.
HESPER'S POV
Yays! It's Christmas! It's Christmas! It's snowing! It's a white Christmas! I galloped my way to Sushi-onichan. He will be so happy when he sees my Christmas gift!
"Sushi-onichan!" I squealed.
He did a full body twitch. "Don't call me that…."
"Merry Christmas!" I pulled out his newly bandaged, polished, and cleaned sword. "It was messy and bloodily and you never cleaned it since like 10 years. So I decided to clean it for you!"
Kisame-onichan couldn't help but crack a hint of a smile. "Thanks kid. Here. Now don't you go overboar-"
"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So Kawaii!" I practically strangled Kisame in a bear hug.
I took a long look at the clear bowl Kisame gave me. A lone beautiful fish koi glided through the weeds. His (yes it's a boy) orange and black scales sparkled. It was about 2 feet long and it was gianatic, but the Japanese fighting fish or Doitsu have splatters of red, orange, black, and white scales. Doitsu was known for its anger, ferociousness, and terror. It's clear white and black eyes gazed at me in a wise stare as I tapped my chin, thinking of a suitable name for him.
"I'll name it Kokushibyo!" I shouted.
Kisame twitched. "Black Death?"
"Yep!"
Christmas went on like this. I received a polished set of kunai from Itachi, Zetsu, and Pein. I literally got a penny from Kakuzu. Hidan gave me a stake. Konan gifted me with a paper rose. Tobi gave be exactly 3 pounds of candy canes. Deidara gave me some other weapons and art supplies. Last but not least, Sasori-danna gave me puppet parts for me to assemble. Yays!!!!!!!!!!
I gave people….
Itachi: A bottle of his favorite nail polish. (He did one of his unemotional-thank-you stares.)
Kakuzu: Back all the money I stole from him. (I ran away after I gave him it.)
Tobi: A bag full of candy and a Teddy bear. (He squealed and hugged me, earning him a lecture from Kisame.)
Konan: Expensive Japanese origami paper. (She used one of her slow gentle smiles with this.)
Pein: Sharp magnets! (They automatically flew to his face because of his earrings. .)
Zetsu: 5 dead cats! (I left it in his room, so Kisame wouldn't see.)
Hidan: A stake. (Yeah…I was running out of ideas…)
Deidara: Clay! (He hugged me on this one.)
Sasori-danna: Puppet tools. (He did on of those smirks. I think he was happy….I think.)
Sasuke: Yes, I did give him something…..!!!!!!!!
Ai: Ha. She's like that. ^.^
I trotted towards Deidara, I still haven't given Hiri her gift yet. ^.^
"Hey Deidara-baka!" I shouted as I tapped him on the shoulder.
He turned around. "What do you want hm?"
I smirked and whispered my idea into his right eye.
"Oh God. You seriously-"
I nodded slowly. "Yes. That's the plan."
He shivered. "Why me, yeah? Why not Kisame or Itachi?"
"You're her brother!"
He shook his head. "No. I value my life you know. I don't want to be sacrificed to Jashin or whatever her God's name is."
I smirked. Pan B. I yawned. "Okay, I'll ask Itachi then. After all, he's much STRONGER and BRAVER than you are. He could easily use him Sharigun to help me."
Deidara twitched. "Fine! Fine! Just give me the rope and blindfold, yeah."
I smirked. "I'll do Hiri. You'll do Hidan."
Hiri's POV
Argh. I got a lot of weopans from the Akatsuki members. I gave Zetsu a dead body….
"Hey Zetsu, hm! Your presents lying in your room. I didn't feel like dragging it here in front of Dei!" I shouted.
He licked his lips and smirked.
I gave Kakuzu a heart……
I plopped the black bag on his lap.
"What the heck is this brat?" He snarled at me. "And why is it wet and beating?"
I smirked. "It's a plan b. In cause one of your other hearts have heart attacks.
As I was walking towards Hidan who was mumbling some curse words, a unseen hand twisted my left and right arms behind my back. With speed only a ninja could have, the person quickly tied my hands together tightly. I snarled and whipped around trying to see who the ninja was, but the same hands tighten a black blindfold onto my face, shrouding me from the outside world. I accessed the situation calmly.
"Who the f**k is f**king tying me up and f**king blindfolding me? I'll kill that b**ch, yep!"
A small chuckled came from the left side of me as two soft but strong hands pushed me forward. "Don't worry. You'll be thanking me later…." A feminine voice laughed.
"Hesper? Why you b**-"
"Don't curse. I hate it when you do that." She pushed me forward.
"What the h**l are you doing, sure?" I growled.
She giggled. "Giving you a swift kick in the backside,"
"What do you mean by that, hm?" I asked roughly.
She continued dragging me forward. "Nothing…nothing at all,"
After a few moments, she stopped and swiftly cut the rope and removed the stupid blindfold. Stupid thing. As my eyes adjusted to the lights, I saw two large figures before me. One had long blonde hair tied in a ponytail. The other taller figure had grey hair.
Deidara and Hesper did a knuckle touch. "Good job."
"What the f**k? Why are we here?" Hidan shouted.
Deidara and Hesper simultaneously pointed upward. Hidan and I gazed up at the green plant above us.
It was a damn mistletoe…
Hesper grasped Deidara by the shoulder and steered him away. "Have fun!"
Hidan looked at me then back at the mistletoe. "Well…this sucks." He simply put.
I gazed at him. His head, eyes, everything was just so hot. His handsome purple eyes stared back at me nervously. His eyes were like pools of poison. Soft and beautiful to look at, but dangerous and threatening at the same time. He pursed his finely sculpted lips together. The top of my head only reached his nose, so I was staring at his strong wellbuilt chest and abs. I gulped. There should be a law for a guy to be this hot.
My heart missed a couple beats, and I felt my face blossom hues of red and pink. I directed my gazed to the wall next to me. We were standing in an open empty corridor…alone. Oh Jashin please save me.
Suddenly, Hidan roughly seized my shoulders and mumbled to himself. "May Jashin forgive us."
He slammed his rough, but soft lips onto my own. My heart jumped in surprise. For a moment, my body refused to budge. Then, my shoulders relaxed and my hands melted. I drank in every moment of it; after all, we might now get another moment like this. His heart pounded it beat with mine, as if our hearts were intertwined. With each moment that passed, I could feel my heart flutter in excitement. My eyes closely closed themselves, too scared to open them back up. Suddenly, a tongue roughly ran across my smooth lower lip. I gasped in the suddenly contact. His tongue skillfully slipped in and roamed around my mouth. His arms wrapped around my waist as mine wounded around his neck. This was definitely the best night of my life.
HESPER'S POV
Deidara kept wanting to go back and check on Hiri. "Are you sure this is a good idea, hm?"
I nodded. "Yep. Hiri is responsible enough to just keep it at a kiss. Believe me. She learned from that stupid mistake."
Deidara sighed. "They better not be doing anything, hm."
My right eye twitch and I stopped in the middle of the corridor.
Deidara noticed my halt and stared at me. "What's wrong, hm?"
I shivered and continued on. "The mental pictures scared me…that's all."
Deidara sighed and looked up. "Holy c**p."
It was now my turn to gaze at him. "What wrong now?"
He slowly pointed up.
My head slowly craned upwards. My eyes widened in shock, and my mouth fell open in horror. I took and step back while Deidara remained unmoved.
"It's going to kill Tobi, hm." He growled.
Strung on a piece of red string…was a mistletoe bush…innocently hanging there.
I snapped back to reality when I saw Deidara moving towards me. I weaved the lion, bird, boar, and snake hand seals. Then I poofed away with the teleportation justu.
Konoha…
Sasuke glared at the piece of paper he got. Then, with a burst of anger, he fire-ball-justued it to crisp. He killed two trees and nearly broke his finger. Then he suddenly with a roar of anger he nearly killed Naruto with his Lion barrage.
Ai looked at the remains of the blackened paper…
Itachi and Hesper say "Hi" ^.^
-Hesper
On that Christmas day, the Konoha citizens experienced the wraith of two prodigies…
A/N: Sorry the ending was so sudden. I hoped you all liked it…
Nani: What
Baka: Idiot
Oni-chan: Older brother
Danna: master
Kawaii: Cute.
Koi: A type of Japanese fish.
Kokushibyo: black death.
Doitsu: A species of Koi
Kampo: A form of medicine.
Konnichawau: Hello!
Ja Ne: See Ya!
If you have any troubles or complaints, you can review so I know how to make it better for you all! ^.^ Ja Ne! Happy Hoildays!