Hey. So this was stubborn haha. I changed a little bit about Jenna here. Picture her being a bigger girl. No fat, but just big, if that makes sense. I need her to have a little strength behind her growl, lol.

The only excuse I have for the wait is that I've been busy, but at least this is long, right? Today's the first day of my fall break, so plan on getting more chapters over the next few days! Talk to you soon!

Chapter 14

TPOV

He groaned quietly and rolled over. It was cold, but he liked it that way. It matched how he felt on the inside.

He was alone, but he liked that less. The thoughts that swam through his mind, even a month after his mother's death, scared him. He was much more capable of pushing those thoughts down when someone was with him.

"Toby!"

He frowned. It had been months since his father had acknowledged his presence. It was strange really, how quickly he had gone from having to parents to essentially not having any. Although, the indifference was certainly more welcome than the shouts and the shame. He pulled a hoodie over his naked upper half and walked into the living room, curiously glancing at his father's rigid posture as he perched on the edge of the couch.

He smiled nervously, and that was even more unsettling for Toby. He had all the power in this relationship. What was there to be nervous about? His dad sat on the edge of the bed. "Do you remember those meetings?"

He nodded hesitantly. He had gone too. Support group was helpful for him, and he assumed it worked well for his father as well. His dad continued at his nod. "Well, um- I'm not sure how to tell you this. And you aren't going to like it, but I'm not really asking your permission. Consider this me giving you a heads up that I met someone."

"You met someone?" He asked slowly. "You met someone?" His brain still had to be asleep. Because there was no way that he was hearing this correctly.

A frown line appeared in the middle of the older man's forehead. "Look, I know that it's fast. I know that it's probably too fast, but I don't care. I- I love her, Toby."

He stood up, running a hand through his hair and tugging on the length to halt to expletives that he wanted to shout. Not once in 18 years had he ever heard his dad tell his mom that he loved her, but he was already dropping that bomb on this new mystery woman that he couldn't have known for longer than a month? Maybe things would have ended differently had he managed to slip out a few more I love yous to his mother. "I can't deal with this right now."

His dad's uncertainty turned to anger as he brusquely rose to his feet. "I'm not asking you to accept it, but I am telling you that you will be there. You will be there, and you will be the polite kid that you used to be."

So this was where the expression seeing red was coming from. But he sucked in a few calming breaths. "Can Spencer come?"

His dad rolled his eyes but nodded. "Maybe you'll be better behaved in front of your girlfriend. Julia has a daughter your age as well, so it might be nice for Jenna to potentially make a new friend."

He had a lot more to say, none of which he was going to say right now. He would save it, because his dad was on the defensive and he never saw reason when he was on the defensive. "I'm going over there now. I'll be back in time for dinner."

He didn't wait for a response before grabbing a shirt and his keys and breezing out his bedroom door. Spencer would be awake. She would know what to do.

Somehow she managed to beat him to the Brew. It was ridiculous, because she had walked. He had offered to pick her up, but she declined, saying that she needed to walk or she was going to go crazy. He was sure it had something to do with her parents, but that would be a conversation better had when he didn't feel like murdering something. He needed to see her. She always knew just how to calm him down.

He pulled his helmet off and stowed it in the compartment in the back, shaking out his hair and walking to her on their favorite bench. He sat down and immediately felt himself tearing up again.

And because it was Spencer, she saw immediately. On of her hands was on his thigh and the other was wiping away and stray tears under his eyes. "Hey," she whispered. "hey, what's wrong?"

He shook his head, lowering his face to her neck, pulling her against him. She melted into him immediately, as always knowing exactly what he needed. In Spencer's arms he felt safe. He knew that he could let himself go. It didn't matter that they were in a very public place. When he was with her the world faded away.

How could his dad be doing this? How could he care so little about his mom? Because he knew that if he lost Spencer, if Spencer had felt so alone that she had to take her own life, there would be no recovering from that. He would never bounce back from a loss that catastrophic, but here his dad was, bouncing back after a couple weeks. He didn't understand, and to be honest, he wasn't sure that he wanted to understand.

Spencer's fingers patiently ran through the hair at the base of his neck and let him cry into her shirt. "I'm sorry," he whispered huskily, as soon as he managed to calm himself down.

Spencer shook her head, shifting slightly so that she could look at him. "What happened?"

He just shook his head, closing his eyes and embracing the fact that he was loved by another person, something that his mom apparently didn't have. "My dad-"

She narrowed her eyes. "What did he do?"

He smiled a little, despite the emotions churning in his stomach. "He met someone new, I guess."

The anger in Spencer's eyes was a little gratifying. At least he knew that he wasn't being irrational. "I-" she tried, but immediately shut her mouth again. "Are you..." she trailed off. "What?"

He nodded, a tired laugh. "That was basically my reaction. But I wanted to ask you if maybe you could come to dinner with us tonight?" He snagged her fingers and brought her wrist to his lips, touching the angry looking scar, only part that was left from the accident that was almost entirely his fault. He hated to ask anything of her, but this was necessary. He needed this. He needed her.

She nodded, leaning in and brushing her nose along his collar bone. "I love you, you know that. I would do anything for you."

It took some intricate planning, but they managed to arrive last. As his bike roared to a stop in front of the house he paused, reveling in the feeling of Spencer's body pressed against his back, her arms tightly wound around his waist, her thighs rubbing against his legs as they drove along. His stomach burned with desire, but he bushed it down. There would be time for that later.

He climbed off the bike first, helping her take off his only helmet, taking his time. He closed his eyes as his fingers ran along her jaw line, her skin so soft to the touch. He shivered embarrassingly. "I love you," he murmured, going in and pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead, feeling endlessly grateful for her presence in his life.

She smiled, and pecked the tip of his nose, climbing off the bike and wrapped a lose arm around his waist. "This will probably be fine."

He laughed lightly. "Probably being the key word." He loved the way her gentle curves fit perfectly into his side. He loved the way the she took his hand and brushed her lips over his knuckles. When they got to the door he led her inside by the small of her back, helping her out of her back and draping it over their coat rack.

She gave him a reassuring smile. "If it's not you can come back with me tonight. My mom is in Philly and my dad is in Seattle for the week."

He hesitated, pulling her to a stop. "Why were you upset earlier?"

She bit down on her lip. "I don't-"

"Spence," he murmured, brushing his thumb along her jaw. "tell me."

She shook her head. "It isn't a big deal. They were just fighting a lot before they left this morning."

He hated the way they fought around her. He knew that it scared her, even if she wouldn't admit it. He would never forget the time that she called him in tears because her mom was throwing their china at her dad. The sound of her tears and the glass breaking in the background her prominent in his mind, even still. "Call me next time."

She smiled sadly. "You called me before I had a chance."

Really, all he wanted to do when she looked like that was pull her into the bedroom and kiss her senseless, kiss her until she forgot every bad thing that happened in her life. But before he had a chance to suggest blowing off dinner his dad poked his head into the hallway. "Toby! Spencer! Come in, come in. You're right on time."

Spencer was always more polite than his dad deserved. She shrugged away from Toby and walked out ahead, giving him a handshake. "Thanks for letting me come over, sir."

She didn't see it, but his dad really liked Spencer. He wasn't sure why, but he suspected it had something to do with her family's status in town. No one was higher on the social hierarchy than the Hastings. "I'm glad you could make it, sweetheart," he gestured for them to enter the dining room. "I have some people that I would love for you to meet."

Again, Spencer led the way. Somehow she always saw what he needed, and what he needed in this circumstance was someone to remind him that everything was going to be okay. She put on a smile and walked to the woman that his dad was apparently seeing, sticking out her hand. "Spencer Hastings, m'am. So nice to meet you."

"Julie Marshall," the woman gave Spencer a fake, toothy smile. Or at least he thought it was fake, he couldn't be for sure. Maybe he just didn't like her.

Spencer also waved at the girl their age. "Nice to meet you too."

The girl didn't smile or even acknowledge Spencer, but she wasn't deterred. She glanced back at him, and took his hand leading him to their chairs. That was another reason he was glad that he brought her. Spencer very rarely let other people's opinions of her effect her self esteem. She knew who she was, and her presence strengthened him. Although, he wouldn't let anyone talk badly about her or to her either. He didn't like the look that this girl was giving her.

They sat down to eat. He felt numb for most of dinner, like he was eating in a bubble. The conversation that the rest of the table was having sounded distant to him. This was too much. This was too soon. He looked up, catching the eye of Julie's daughter Jenna across the table. She smiled at him, but it wasn't anything like Spencer's warm smile. It almost felt animalistic, territorial. It immediately made him feel uncomfortable.

He didn't have a lot of experience with girls. Spencer was the only one who had ever given him the time of day, but he knew that what she was doing wasn't designed to make him feel good. He looked back down at his chicken, frowning. He jumped a little at Spencer's hand on his thigh. She squeezed it reassuringly. "Toby's actually a fantastic artist."

He looked at her curiously, so she laughed and explained to him. "Ms. Marshall was talking about how she liked to paint but wasn't any good at it."

He nodded thoughtfully, a ghost of a smile on his face. He really did enjoy painting. "I think it's more important that you like it, you know? You don't have to be fantastic. Art is up for interpretation."

Julie's smile still looked fake to him, but at least it didn't make him uneasy like her daughter's. "That is great advice, Toby. I'll have to remember that."

The rest of dinner went by in a blur. He didn't contribute to the conversation that much, but he was there and polite, and that was more than what his dad had the right to expect from him. Spencer was a social butterfly though, conversing and smiling and laughing with everyone. She saved him, as she always did, because he was sure that his silence would be much more pronounced if she wasn't there.

As they were walking out the door after saying their goodbyes Spencer stopped abruptly, causing him to stop too. He had scarcely thrown her a confused stare before she got on her tiptoes and kissed him quickly. "I forgot that we were on your bike. Give me a second. To much information, I know, but that this makes me have to pee. I'm going for a preemptive strike here." She giggled and ducked down the hall and in to the bathroom.

He stood, dazed for a second. He wasn't sure if it was the kiss, or the indescribably sexy way she moved, or the innocent giggle, or the slight flowery smell that she left behind. Or maybe it was the way it all worked together. But there wasn't a moment that he spent with her in which he didn't feel like the luckiest man alive.

But as soon as she was gone it was like the crushing despair slammed into him like a wave. His mom had been gone for a month. She had been gone for thirty days and his dad was already moving on. It might be what he needed, but what Toby needed was a father who took a moment out of his day to consider his grieving son. That was all that he wanted.

"Where'd the girl go?"

His forehead wrinkled as he turned around. He was confused at the unfamiliar voice until he saw Jenna, quickly realizing that she had spoken even less than he had over dinner. "She'll be back in a second."

Her eyes dragged up and down his body, making him feel supremely uncomfortable. "I can see what she sees in you," she said sardonically. "It's good to know that if this shit show goes any further that my step bro will be hot at least."

He took a small step back from her, not sure how to react to this at all. If he offended her he was certain that his dad would take her side over his, but he also wasn't going to sit here and allow her to make him feel like this either. The hair rose on the back of his neck at the way that she looked at him. It was almost like she felt dangerous. But she was a small girl. She was bigger than Spencer or Hanna or any of his girl friends, but she was still smaller than him. He didn't have anything to be afraid of. "You better get back to your mom," he said slowly.

"Aw," she whined, reaching for his hand and coming up with nothing when he moved it away just in time. "But I was bonding with my almost family. That's what this little dinner is all about, right?"

"Hey, are you ready to go?"

He turned around, relieved, but Spencer's eyes weren't on him. She was looking at Jenna, as though she were sizing her up and telling her to back off at the same time. And when she appeared his priorities shifted, because he was no longer worried about himself. Jenna was probably harmless, but there was something about her that scared the shit out of him. Something that he didn't want Spencer by. He grabbed Spencer's arm and tugged her out of the house, not bothering to say by to Jenna. He had a feeling that he'd be seeing more of her, whether he liked it or not.

"I don't like her," Spencer said immediately. "She was looking at you like you were a piece of meat, giving me this smug apologetic little smirk like I walked in on you two doing something." He usually found it adorable when she got upset like this, but he knew that she had a point this time.

He shrugged. "Well it doesn't matter what she wants, because I have all that I want right here." He smiled softly, taking her into his arms for as much his own benefit as hers. He felt his heart beating slower as he held her close. She made him feel safe.

"On an unrelated note," she relented, her words muffled by his shirt, "I know your dad might want you to stay here tonight, but do you think you can make some kind of excuse and stay with me? Both my parents are out of town, and..." she trailed off, but she didn't have to finish. He knew that she didn't like staying alone.

He nodded, his lips in her hair for a brief moment before leading her toward his bike with both arms. "I'll call him later and tell him that I'm staying with Caleb." He took the helmet from his storage space and gently plopped it on her head. "Do you want to go home now, or do you want to do something else?"

She shivered slightly as she buckled the chin strap, and climbed on the bike after him, wrapping her arms around his stomach. It was his turn to shiver as she ran her hands up and down his abs, looking for a good spot to hold on. He heard her laugh and felt her move closer to him, her stomach and her helmet covered head pressed into his back. "You like that?"

He closed his eyes, lightly running his fingers up and down her forearm. "You know I do. Let's go back to your house," he decided for them, not sure how much longer he could go without kissing her. But he also felt her goosebumps. If they were going anywhere else he needed to get her some more clothes.

He glanced at the house one more time, noticing Jenna's face in the window, looking at them with a smirk on her face. He shook his head and started the bike, pulling out onto the road. He considered taking the long route, because he loved the way that Spencer shifted against him while they were on his bike, but he knew that she was cold. He wasn't going to do that to her.

Once they pulled through the gate to the Hastings' house and down the obnoxiously long driveway, she had barely gotten her helmet off before he leaned in and kissed her deeply, one of his hands on her stomach and the other getting lost in her silky, brown hair. She moaned into his mouth, moving closer, practically melding their bodies into one. She responded enthusiastically, her hands going up the front of his shirt as she deepened the kiss.

He shivered, her cold hands against his abs, and hiked her up, carrying her into the house without breaking their kiss. She giggled, wrapping her thin legs around him. He managed to get the door open, walking them to the couch and lowering her on to it. She looked up at him with wide, innocent eyes and a smirk on her lips, immediately going for his belt. "I love you," she whispered huskily. "I don't tell you often enough, and I should. But I love everything about you. Every part of you. You deserve to hear that every day."

His chest soared as he leaned in, fumbling with the buttons on her shirt. "I love you too, so much."