Chapter 13- Reality

Hope's Perspective

I rose to another morning, my head killing me from stress. I woke up to see myself in my bed. What happened? I looked to my right to see Lightning, a small distance away from me in the bed. I stretched and my bones cracked, which woke her up.

"Hey…you're up early,"
"I don't know why,"

She got up and looked at me as if I was sick.

"Are you feeling better?"
"What did I say last night?"
"Nothing at all, you just walked in and passed out on the bed,"
"After we dropped Liona home?"
"Yes, why did something happen that I don't know about?"

You've gotta be kidding me. THAT WAS ALL A DREAM? WHAT THE HELL?

"Oh…sorry, memory's a little hazy…"

She hugged me.

"I was here the entire time you were out…I'm sorry if I fell asleep on the bed with you,"
"No…it's alright, you were worried, I should be apologizing for worrying you,"

She nodded against my shoulder. Oh how I wished my dream had happened…what I'd be able to do to ease her worries…

Lightning's Perspective

He must've thought something important happened last night…I wonder if it was because of the drinks we had before we took Liona home. Whatever the reason, he seemed as if something important happened between us last night. I let him go so he could go downstairs to get breakfast. What was going through his head?

More importantly, what's going on in my head? I wanted to tell him everything last night but he went to sleep before I could do anything. He just stormed out of the car and ignored me…well it was perfectly understandable after all; he just broke up with his girlfriend and he would likely never see her again in addition to the added stress of his father being gone from this world. Even though it was such a long time ago, I know it still affects him. Then he had to worry about medical school, in which he has to leave us again and he likely had to take the full eight years as well since he wants to be a diagnostics specialist. This made me realize just how far he came since I first met him.

I met him so long ago, when he was just fourteen and till a kid. I had to teach him how to survive and how to fight and I had to show him the hard facts of life. I helped him and his father when the military came after him for housing us. Hope even continued to have faith that we would be able to stop Orphan and save Cocoon…he was just as his name was…nothing but pure hope. It pained me to see his life in such shambles. I knew I had to help him get through this…I had to help him get his mind off of all of this. I knew what I had to do. Even if it doesn't help him completely get his mind off of this, it would at least give him the happiness he needs to overcome it on his own. I walked to my room to change my clothes.

Hope's Perspective

Maker? What the hell are you doing up there? You're throwing dreams like that into my head and it's supposed to help me? HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO HELP ME? WISHING THAT LIGHT WAS REALLY BY MY SIDE WAS GOING TO SOLVE THESE PROBLEMS?

I turned off the shower and dried myself off before going downstairs and starting to make a sandwich on the island. Things were really beginning to get out of hand since I moved here and Dad was gone…oh man Dad…I wish you were here to help me out. I really didn't know how I was going to be able to take on medical school with all of this on my mind. I was alone, I lost my girlfriend, my dad's no longer with me and now…I had to live with the fact that there was no way I could be with Light. She had to be mad at me for dating Liona. She kept saying that it was perfectly fine but a glint in her eyes always told me otherwise. Then again…wishful thinking's a hell of a thing; it makes you believe things that didn't really happen and also things that probably won't happen. That dream described everything I wanted to happen perfectly but I'm pretty sure if I did that in real life, she would've decked me right then and there.

"Hope?"

I turned to see Light. She looked as if she just showered. She wore blue shorts that were just a little too short for comfort and a pink tanktop, far different from her nightgown. She seemed determined.

"I want you to tell me what happened last night, you had to have dreamt something for you to be questioning what went on…"

"Damn her for being so analytical,"

I sighed before I placed the knife aside and stepped from around the counter and leaned against it. It was better if I had nothing between me and her in case she decided to have a rage burst; it was better than running from it.

"I…dreamt that…well,"

She folded her arms and had an unamused look on her face.

"Hope, you stormed in last night and ignored me completely, you even walked past Snow and Serah and said nothing before you passed out, you have no idea how worried we were about you and now you're pretending as if this didn't happen, spit it out,"
"I'M PRETENDING THAT NOTHING HAPPENED?"

My fists clenched and she seemed a little shocked at my sudden outburst.

"HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT'S HAPPENED IN THE PAST YEAR AND A HALF?"

I don't know what caused me to get so angry. It was probably the mixed feelings I had for her right now. Half of me wanted nothing more than to hold her and tell her how much she means to me but the other half wanted me to let her know that I'm not in this world to ease their worries; I was in it to live.

"Hope…I…"
"I'm…I'm so sorry Light…"

My head turned down. I really shouldn't have done that…I felt like I just threw a brick at her glass heart. To my surprise, she was in front of me in an instant. She flung her arms around my neck and embraced me, burying her head into the bottom of my neck. To think I grew a bit less than half a head taller than her during all this time.

"I know I shouldn't be so nosy and I know I shouldn't be so concerned all the time…because you're a man now,"

My eyes widened. I removed her arms but I held her hands before I took a breath.

"I dreamt…that I was with you Light…"

Her eyes widened.

"I…I've always wanted to be with you…ever since that day I asked you out…"

Her eyes became a little teary, more than likely because she remembered that day right down to the details on my face when I asked her that question. A smile formed on her face but just barely.

"Because…I've liked you long before that day Light…but that was the day that marked when I felt ready to be with you if you gave me the opportunity,"

The truth was that I've had a crush on her ever since our journey as l'Cie. I didn't want to tell her because she would've thought I was too young to be having feelings such as those.

"I dreamt that…you were there when I was down about Liona and I finally got the courage to tell you how I felt about you…and I dreamt that you responded positively…"

I turned my face away from her.

"But now that I betrayed you by dating Liona instead of you, I understand if you don't want to…"
"Hope?"

I turned to her and she had a slightly angry look on her face.

"Shut the hell up,"

I was confused.

"Don't you dare say what I want to do,"
"But-"

I was silenced by her finger.

"I wanted an explanation and you've given it to me, my turn to talk,"

I kept quiet.

"Hope you keep making it sound like it's a bad thing that you harbor these feelings inside of you…and it sort of is, you said it yourself: it's not good to bottle things up inside,"

My eyes narrowed.

"Thank you…"

I looked up in shock. Thank you for what?

"Thank you…for waiting for me…I know I haven't helped much in your restless thoughts with my stubborn attitude but…you just told me everything and I…"

Her voice cracked slightly and her eyes began to leak tears. She wasn't crying however.

"I'm so glad…that you told me this because…I feel the same way about you…"
"You…you do?"

I had to be dreaming…I am dreaming again…aren't I?

"Hope, can you imagine how I felt when you asked me that question one year ago?"

I recalled the time when I practically asked her if I could go see that movie with Liona.

"Everything in my heart wanted me to tell you no…but I thought that she deserved it more than me because she had the guts to tell you the way she felt about you…I was stupid for doing that,"
"I was the one who should have said no,"
"You didn't know if I would ever feel the same way about you…it's not your fault Hope,"

She seemed to have analyzed this almost perfectly.

"Liona talked to you didn't she?"
"She told me everything she thought about you Hope,"
"What did she say?"
"She told me how much you spoke about me when she was around you,"

I scratched the back of my head nervously; I was hoping she wouldn't reveal that.

"She also said…that you didn't truly feel for her, she said she always felt that there was a part of you that clung onto your feelings for me…"

I blushed.

"You held onto feelings you've had for almost eight years…you waited for me for nearly half your life Hope…you have no idea how special that makes me feel,"

She moved closer.

"I…I'm sorry for taking so long to tell you myself…"
"No Light…it's fine, what matters is that we've gotten it out of our systems,"
"…Not completely,"

Before I could question what she meant, she met me in a heated kiss. It was full of longing but also full of pure and genuine love. This was real, not like my dream where it seemed like a fantasy come true. This was reality. My phone went off, much to my dismay. I let her go and took it out of my pocket as I took a few steps away. The caller ID was the medical school I applied for. I answered it.

"Hello?"
"Yes, is this Hope Estheim? I'm terribly sorry for calling so early in the morning,"
"Headmaster? Can I call you back in about an hour, I'm in the middle of something important,"
"Oh you are? Alright, it can wait until then, my apologies,"
"It's perfectly fine, thank you and I'm sorry,"
"It's fine my dear boy, we have much to talk about when you call though,"
"I can tell, thank you sir and goodbye,"

I shut the phone and threw it into the chair behind me as I walked back to her.

"Why?"
"You're far more important at the moment…"

I continued to kiss her, lifting her into my arms and placing her on the stool. She leaned back and accepted my lips with the same heated longing as she did before. My hands shot to her waist and slowly ran up and down her exposed skin below her tanktop. Her hands were locked around my neck and she pulled me into her more. This kiss was getting more intense by the second. Our breaths quickened, our heartbeats rose and I knew that if I didn't stop soon, I was going to have a heart attack. Too much adrenaline was going through my veins but I just couldn't bear to stop; I was afraid that this would never happen again. To my dismay, she stopped kissing me. She was panting softly.

"I suppose I shouldn't call you Light anymore huh?"

Her eyes widened.

"Claire? Is it a fair statement to call us…boyfriend and girlfriend?"

She shed more tears and she smiled.

"Way more than fair,"

I kissed her once more; reveling in the fact that I have gained the one thing I've always wanted ever since I was fourteen: the love of Lightning "Claire" Farron.