Disclaimer:I do not own The Walking Dead: Not it's characters, certainly not Daryl Dixon -sadly-, not the plot (except the stuff that's not part of the original story), the story line, etc.
I also don't own whatever Canadian slangs that I end up using.
However: I do own Jo and Ben Teague, they are my own characters that I have created.
Note: I have started writing again! -yay!- And due to that, I started to reread this story and found out that I didn't like how I've worded/phrased some things, so I've decided to rewrite it.
Also, like before, if I end up using terms that some people don't understand/don't know because they are Canadian terms, I will be posting their meanings at the bottom of the page.
Once everyone calmed down some, Rick had Jim sit near the RV and wait while the rest of us discussed what was going to happen. Everyone was having a hard time trying to think of what we could do, after all, Jim was still himself, for the moment. He was still human, for a lack of better word, but the fact that he had been bit, quite literally, it could be just a matter of moments before he turned, which would end up biting us in the ass.
"I say we put a pickaxe in his head and the dead girl's and be done with it," Daryl spoke up first as he held said pickaxe in his hand. It was as if he was just waiting to run it through someone's head. Though I didn't like the idea fully, I did admit that it would be the quickest way to get everything done, but we weren't barbarians, at least, not yet.
"Is that what you'd want if it were you?" Shane questioned the hunter, as if he was trying to convince Daryl to think about it. I knew the answer though, because it would be the same one that I would have chosen myself if I was in Jim's position.
"Yeah, and I'd thank you while you did it," Daryl replied in all seriousness. He didn't even hesitate with an answer, not that I expected anything else from him really.
"I hate to say it—I never thought I would—but maybe Daryl's right," Dale spoke up and everyone turned to face the older man. I knew that Dale and Jim were close since they had been working on the RV's engine for I don't even know how long.
"It's not our final say though," I spoke up quietly, only for it to fall on deaf ears again when Rick spoke over me.
"Jim's not a monster, Dale, or some rabid dog," he started to say and I could tell that Dale was offended that Rick would assume he meant it differently.
"I'm not suggesting— "
"He's sick. A sick man," Rick interrupted Dale rather forcefully and I couldn't help but frown at the situation. This was going nowhere fast. "We start down that road, where do we draw the line?" he asked and looked at all of us.
"The line's pretty clear. Zero tolerance for Walkers, or them to be," Daryl stated, though he did have a point that we did have a tolerance for not having Walkers. We had a lot of people to look out for, especially since we had two people would no doubt start to turn at some point.
"What if we can get him help?" Rick asked as he looked at the group again. "I heard the CDC was working on a cure."
"I heard that too. Heard a lot of things before the world went to hell," Shane spoke up as if he couldn't believe what Rick was trying to say.
"What if the CDC is still up and running?" Rick questioned as he looked over at his old friend.
"Man, that is a stretch right there," Shane replied and I could hear from my spot the amusement in his voice as he spoke, as if he didn't believe it.
"Why?" The question didn't come to a surprise as Rick questioned the deputy and I found myself massaging my temples. "If there's any government left, any structure at all, they'd protect the CDC at all costs, wouldn't they? I think it's our best shot. Shelter, protection— "
"Okay, Rick, you want those things, alright? I do too, okay?" Shane interrupted his friend and I couldn't help but sigh as I tuned the two friends out.
They were giving me a headache worse than the arguments my family did when the world was 'normal'. It was hard to see how Rick and Shane had been such good friends when they were so vastly different from one another. I looked over at Jim, who was watching us, even though he couldn't tell what was being said. I honestly felt sorry for the guy. He didn't deserve this type of a mess to happen to him. I glanced back at the group, and saw that Rick and Shane were still in a heated discussion. That was when I noticed Daryl look back at Jim, as if he was calculating something in his head, the same time as T-Dog did.
"You go looking for aspirin, do what you need to do. Someone needs to have some balls to take care of his damn problem!" Daryl shouted and made a beeline towards Jim.
I shot forward without thinking twice and stood in front of Jim with my arms crossed above my head. I knew it wouldn't protect me, but at least I would serve as a blockade. It seemed Daryl didn't see me move and get in his way until he was about to swing the pickaxe down, because he faltered in surprise. A second later, Rick cocked his gun and aimed it at Daryl's head, again and I couldn't help but be amused by the familiar sight before me.
"We don't kill the living," Rick repeated slowly, emphasizing each word that he spoke. I couldn't help but press my lips into a thin line as Shane appeared behind me, which made me uneasy.
"That's funny coming from a man who just put a gun to my head," Daryl stated when he turned to face Rick, but he did lower the pickaxe. I lowered my arms slowly since Daryl didn't look like he was going to finish the attack.
"We may disagree on some things, not on this. You put it down. Go on," Shane spoke up from behind me and I scowled.
Daryl looked at Shane when he spoke, but even I could tell that the hunter was more than displeased with the situation at hand. Daryl held the pickaxe loosely in his hand, and I was surprised to see the harsh look on his face as he looked at the deputy. It was like he'd rather swing at Shane than do what he was asked. After a moment, he dumped the pickaxe, but he didn't turn around to leave. Instead, he pointed a finger at Shane and the look he had intensified into a glare.
"Next time be a man and stand in front of a woman who's being stupid," Daryl cast me a brief look as I slowly stepped away from Shane, who had been standing far too close to me than I was comfortable with. "Even if she's being stupid, don't use her as a fucking shield. The Canuck just showed y'all that she has more balls than you lot." Daryl spat on the ground and walked away without another word.
"Next time, have some balls and be a man. We don't need another pussy running around here." I glared darkly before I walked away.
I needed some time to cool off. Before I left, told someone where I was going, which was down to the water front for a few moments. I couldn't be around anyone currently, if I was forced to, I would end up ripping someone a new hole with little reason. The walk down to the quarry helped ease my anger and I knew I was temporarily abandoning the group, but I honestly needed this. I could tell that the tension in the group was ten times worse after that incident, but I did hope that it would get better, with time. Once I reached the beach, I sat on the pebbled shore and brought one of my legs to my chest. With Rick and Shane on edge with one another about where to go, and Andrea losing her sister, not to mention disposing the bodies and the Walkers, our group was pretty messed up right now.
"Mum, dad… sometimes I wish you two where here," I whispered to the empty area as I rested my head against my knee. "I'm feeling so conflicted right now. I don't know what I should be doing," I sighed quietly as I gripped the leg of my pants. "I know I need to keep Ben safe, that's my top priority, but how am I supposed to do that, while I'm simultaneously trying to keep the peace within the group?" I let out a pathetic laugh and shook my head as I looked at the calm water. "This might sound pathetic, but I'd really like a sign, maybe something to just tell me that I'm doing the right thing and that there is still hope to live on in this world…"
Silence was my only answer and I closed my eyes in defeat. It seemed that I had to make up my own mind and go with whatever repercussions came with it. Just as I stood up, I heard the cry of a hawk overhead and I watched as the beautiful bird continued its journey. For the first time that day, I smiled. Hawks were my mother's totem animal, and I always believed that they were, in some way, mine as well. I took hold my necklace, the one I had held onto before I looked at it. It wasn't much, a simple locket with vines engraved around it, and it hung on a leather chain, but the locket itself had pictures of my family in it. It held four pictures inside. One of my parents, one of the twins, one of the second twins and finally one of me and Ben. It had been a gift from my family when I got into university to become a doctor. It was one of my most treasured and beloved items that I had, something I would never let out of my sight.
"Okay mum, I'll try it your way," I found myself laughing a little as I tucked my locket under my shirt again and started to make my way back to camp. Mum was always the kind to let chips fall as they may and then she would go about her way as life came at her. She adapted to her surroundings, something she tried to teach my siblings and I, and it was something I often forgot, until now.
When I reached camp again, Ben was the first one to greet me with a hug, which caught the attention of the others. I gave them a weak, apologetic smile as Ben and I walked towards them. "Sorry about that, I just needed some time to myself," I explained half-heartedly and I heard a couple of the survivor's mumble under their breaths that they were relieved I was at least alive. I ignored the looks I received from Shane and Daryl, and concentrated on Ben, who guided me towards Daryl's truck. It seemed that they got the rest of the bodies wrapped and ready for the funeral.
"Did you go down to the quarry sis?" Ben asked softly and I looked down at him.
"Yeah, I did. Needed some time to cool off and ask for some advice," I answered and squatted down before him. "Sorry if I worried you Benjie, I just didn't want to snap at anyone at the time."
Ben merely smiled and took my hands, giving them a squeeze. "I knew you wouldn't have gone far. I had to reassure the others that you just needed some time to think things through," he informed me and looked over at the others for a second. "Some wanted to search for you, but I told them that you would return as soon as you were ready." He looked extremely proud of himself. "But I was worried, nothing will ever change that," Ben looked at the ground sheepishly and I couldn't help but smile and kiss his forehead.
"Thank you for having such faith in me Benjie, and thank you for knowing I would be back. I would never desert you like that." My words held a silent promise to them as I held Ben close to me after I stood up and the two of us followed the others up onto the hill where the graves were waited.
When we arrived, I stood next to Ben with an arm wrapped around his shoulders. I saw Lori look at me, as if she couldn't believe how selfish I had been to walk away from not only the camp, but my brother as well. I didn't bother with her however. She would never understand why I did what I did. I wasn't sure what transpired between Daryl, Rick and Shane, but I knew something had happened since we all came in part way through the conversation.
"There are no rules," Rick had said to Daryl as if he had stated something that everyone knew already.
"Well, that's a problem," Lori spoke up as the rest of us came to a stop around the graves. "We haven't had one minute to hold onto anything of our old selves. We need time to mourn and we need to bury our dead. Its what people do," the woman stated as everyone turned to her. I would give Lori some credit for saying those words, because everyone needed to hear them.
I pulled Ben closer to my side as I thought about our family. We didn't get a chance to bury them, we left their bodies in our grandparent's home to rot in the open. Since the world went to hell, our normal lives became obsolete and in a way, changed to fit this new kind of 'normal'. No one spoke about what Lori said and instead, we started to help put the bodies into the graves, one by one. Once the bodies were set, we buried them properly, but left no headstone to mark them. The remaining body was Amy's and Andrea was set on doing the entire thing herself, even though Dale was doing what he could to help her. Ben stood next to me and I pressed a kiss to the top of his head. Though Ben and I were never the religious type, we did believe in an afterlife, where the souls of the living would be at peace.
"May brooks and trees and singing hills, join the chorus too. And every gentle wind that blows, send happiness to you," I murmured quietly as I remembered one of my mother's Irish blessings for the dead. I stood silent after that as we all payed our respects to those we lost last night.
In the short amount of time that Ben and I had been with the camp, we had made a lot of good acquaintances and friends and truthfully, it was hard to acknowledge that we would never see them again, in this life. Maybe the next, if we were lucky enough, but right now, we would mourn the lost of our people while we continued to struggle in this new world.
When the memorial ended, everyone went back down to camp silently and off to our own areas. Ben and I stopped in front of our tent and sat down on the logs there. I pulled him into my arms as he cried into my neck and I started to hum one of our mother's songs. I knew Ben had our family on his mind and I would admit that they were on my mind as well. I knew I couldn't change the past, or my past actions, but right now and I couldn't regret what I did, because it would defeat the purpose of what Ben and I had now. Whatever that purpose was, neither of us knew.
As soon as Ben and I calmed down, we decided to take a walk through the woods, in full gear, before returning to our tent again. We didn't talk during the walk, neither of us had anything to say at the time, nor did we know what to talk about. The walk was peaceful, but I didn't let that fool me as I kept my ear open to the world around us. We were near the camp, after we walked a couple of miles, when I heard some branches snap underfoot. I halted Ben and he looked at me, with a question in his eye, but I shook my head. That was our signal to be quiet as I scanned the area around us. Through the trees, I could see the familiar shape of Shane's body standing rigid in a small clearing nearby. I was about to call to him, to see if Rick was with him, when I saw him raise his shotgun up to his shoulder, and lock it in place. He had his eyes trained on something, or maybe even someone and that, in all honesty, scared me. With a gentle push, I motioned for Ben to head on ahead while I carefully made my way back. If I made a sound, I knew without a doubt that Shane would have fired off a shot without blinking.
I shivered at that mere thought and I knew, without a doubt, that I had to keep both Ben and myself away from Shane, as much as I physically could. My gut instinct, when I first arrived at camp had been right: Shane Walsh was a very dangerous man.
Back at camp, I met up with Ben, who had waited for me at the treeline. We had made it back before Shane and Rick, and apparently, Dale as well. A couple of minutes later, the three of them returned to camp and everyone gathered around to hear what the two had come up with.
"I've been, uh—I've been thinking about Rick's plan," Shane started to speak as everyone sat down to listen. "Now look, there are no—There are no guarantees either way. I'll be the first one to admit that." I wanted to snort at these words, but I refrained as I listened carefully. "I've know this man a long time. I trust his instincts. I say the most important thing here is we need to stay together," as Shane said this, he looked at everyone in the eye. "So those of you that agree, we leave first thing in the morning. Okay?" Some of the others nodded, while some just looked to their loved ones. This meant that Shane was leaving the decision for us to make. It was something that all of us had to talk about and decide by the time morning came.
Ben and I stood up, seeing that there was nothing else going to be discussed and headed to our tent. I noticed a lot of the others leave as well to go off on their own to think about the future. "What are we going to do Jo?" Ben asked the moment we entered our tent. I zipped the entrance to it and sat down on my sleeping bag.
"I don't know Ben, we only have two options before us: stay with the group and go to the CDC or try to make it on our own again," I replied softly.
"I know Jo… but can we really make it on our own after being with this group?" Ben asked curiously and I knew he didn't mean it in a bad way. But still, I couldn't answer him, because truthfully: I just didn't know.
The fact was, was that those were our only two options, but both options had their own set of problems. If we went to the CDC and it was nothing more than a dream, then we were screwed. Atlanta was a hot spot for Flesh-Dolls and the dangers that could come with it were massive, especially if we ran out of fuel. At the same time, though, if we went out on our own, we would have less coverage to defend ourselves, plus, neither Ben or I knew the States well enough to travel on our own. To add to that, there was a greater risk of us starving from lack of food or even water for that matter. But if we travelled with the group, we had a chance of being slowed down due to the number of people that we did have with us.
Both sides had an equal number of pros and cons, but when I looked at Ben's face and when I thought about the way he interacted with the others, or even the way I interacted with some of the others in the group, I knew what choice we should make. It didn't matter how cautious I was about Shane or how much I didn't trust the guy. He didn't matter to be. What did matter, was the knowledge that there were people in this group that would help me protect my little brother and who were good to both him and myself. Being cut off from other people was not an option, not unless it absolutely had to be. I refused to take something like that away from Ben, especially since I knew this was the best option for us.
"For now, let's stay with the group, okay?" I spoke up after being silent for a while. I knew Ben hadn't fallen asleep since I could hear him tapping his fingers against his knees. "We'll see how well they lead us, and if we don't like it, we'll leave and try to make it on our own. Is that alright with you?" I asked him and watched as he sat up.
I didn't have to ask Ben what he thought about the plan of action, but I wanted his input because it was important to me. I wasn't going to treat him like a little kid, not in this world. I never had the illusion that the world would return to normal, not like some of the women in camp did. That was why I never had Ben join the kids in their lessons, and instead taught him what he needed to know to survive this world. More than once I had complaints about my tactics, but I never felt the need to keep an illusion around.
"I like that Jo," Ben nodded his head with a smile as he stood up to stretch a bit. "I just they won't make us regret this decision to stay…" Those words pulled at my heart more than I could say and I stood up as well.
"We won't know until it happens love, for now, we just have to believe in Rick and the others," I spoke softly to him and pulled him into a hug. I kissed the top of his head and gave him a smile. "Now come on, let's get ready for bed. We have an early start tomorrow when we tell them that we're in."
With a nod of his head, Ben got ready for bed and I soon followed once I knew he was asleep. All the exhaustion that I felt that day came back tenfold and the moment I laid down, I was out like a light. I could only hope we made the right decision when we said 'yes' to staying with the group.
When morning came, Ben and I were up, wide awake and started to dismantle our small camp. We packed everything into my Jeep, I didn't want to chance the risk of being left behind because we weren't quick enough. Ben and I had changed into comfortable clothes There was movement all over the campsite as people packed their stuff away into one of the vehicles or the RV. Once that was done, everyone came together around Rick and Shane, both who looked as if they hadn't slept much the night before.
"Everybody listen up," Shane called everyone's attention. "Those of you with CB's, we're gonna be on channel 40. Let's keep the chatter down, okay?" he looked at everyone. "Now, you got a problem, don't have a CB, can't get a signal or anything at all, you're gonna hit your horn one time. That'll stop the caravan. Any questions?" he asked.
Everyone was silent for the most part until Morales spoke up. "We're, uh… We're—we're not going."
"We have family in Birmingham. We want to be with our people," Morales' wife spoke up as she looked at all of us a bit.
"You go on your own, you won't have anyone to watch your back," Shane reminded them, as if they hadn't realized that fact before now.
"We'll take the chance," Morales stated and looked over at Rick, "I got to do what's best for my family."
"You sure?" Rick asked, but it was plain to see that he understood.
"We talked about it," Morales explained and looked to his wife and children. "We're sure."
Seeing that the family was firm in what they wanted, Rick and Shane handed them a gun and some ammo to help them on their way. Near Ben and I, I could hear Daryl scoff at the fact that our 'leader's' were giving away even more ammo. After that was taken care of, everyone took turns to say their goodbyes to the family. I received a hug from both Morales and his wife, as well as their kids. I had grown fond of the family and I did count them as friends.
"I wish you guys luck, stay safe," I told them once Ben returned to my side.
"You too Jo, you and that brother of yours take care," Morales nodded his head with a smile.
I stepped back with Ben and wrapped my arms around him, to let the others get to the family. I heard Rick remind Morales about what channel they would be on and I watched as the family went to their car to get ready.
"What makes you think our odds are any better?" Shane asked Rick. "Come on. Let's go."
That was the signal for everyone to get moving. It would be a long trip to get to the CDC, especially with the caravan going through. I patted Ben's shoulder to get him moving and we headed to my Jeep. Once we were in, I started her up, grateful that she was still running smoothly despite the lack of use. Everyone who was going to drive, started up their engines and moved out. I pulled out behind T-Dog, Rick and the RV with Daryl and Shane following behind. I followed T-Dog's van in silence, and looked over at Ben, who leaned against the window and looked at the passing scenery.
I kept an eye on my rear-view mirror, to make sure there was enough distance between Daryl and I. The last thing I wanted was to get into an accident because someone suddenly stopped. I'm not sure how long we drove for, but what I did know that we had gone a while before we made our first stop. The only reason we did stop was because the RV's radiator hose decided crap out. Even though we needed to get to the CDC soon, I was glad to have a moment to stretch my legs. Ben just about leapt from the jeep when we stopped and I couldn't help but laugh as I soon joined him. The group reconvened again around the RV.
"Can you jury-rig it?" Rick asked curiously, as he looked at the smoking hose.
"That's all it's been so far," Dale admitted as he looked at his RV. "It's more duct tape than hose. And I'm out of duct tape."
Which meant we were stuck here until we found something to either replace the hose or fix it. "I see something up ahead," Shane spoke up as he took the binoculars away from his face. "A gas station if we're lucky."
If we were lucky, then a gas station would be perfect, but before anyone could reply to Shane, Jacqui came out of the RV, with a panicked look on her face. "Y'all, Jim—It's bad. I don't think he can take anymore," she explained before going back to Jim's side.
That was just what we needed it seemed. I didn't doubt that all the bouncing around from driving was painful for the man. When I saw him last, he had been a lot worse for wear and there was nothing that I could do to help him either. I ruffled Ben's hair and let him tug on my red and white plaid shirt, which I had been carrying on my arm since I didn't need it. The shirt was still big on him, much to my amusement.
"Hey, Rick, you want to hold down the fort?" Shane called over. "I'll drive ahead, see what I can bring back," he offered and T-Dog said that he would go along with Shane. "Y'all keep your eyes open now. We'll be right back."
Soon Shane and T-Dog drove ahead, which left the rest of us to wait until they returned. I took the time to properly stretch myself out since sitting for long periods gave me cramps easily. I knew Ben was over with Sophia and Carl, talking with them, while the rest of the crew stuck together near the RV. I heard someone come up to my side and I looked over to see Andrea. She held herself awkwardly and I stopped my stretches, concerned about her wellbeing.
"Hey, how are you holding up?" I asked softly and rested a hand on her arm.
"Fine," Andrea said firmly, only to sigh as she looked away. "At least, that's what I'd like to say. You know?"
I nodded my head, I did understand where she came from. "Yeah, I know, but truthfully, so long as you remember her, as who she was, that's all you need to keep her alive in you. I don't know if that'll help or not, but it's something." I gave her a small smile and patted her arm a bit before retracting my hand.
"Thanks, Jo. You know, I'm sorry that I never got to know you better till now." Andrea gave me a slight smile before she walked off again. I could only hope that there will be some good to come out of this entire nightmare.