TRIS

For the past three years I've been holding in secrets that I could only share with the two older men in this room. I couldn't spill the emotions of it all to my best friend or to anyone I was close with. That has been really fucking hard.

But now, that's part of the reason it feels so good to be able to spill everything to Four, to finally put everything out in the open. I know that the next time I explode over this stuff, Four will be there alongside me, giving me whatever I need to get by.

"I don't want you two involved." Reynolds is giving me his no-nonsense attitude and he glances over at Four briefly before turning his eyes back to me. "We've got our shit together. We're going straight to the mayor."

"That's not fair. This is a part of me, too!"

"Yeah? And if this whole thing goes south, do you think I want the two of you going down with us?" His expression softens, turning into the fatherly one that has comforted me over the years. "Four has a good career ahead of him. He's only going up. You want to risk ruining that?"

I stand up, stomping my foot and realize how immature I probably look. "Then leave him out, but I want to do this."

"No." Four's voice is stern but soft. "You're in, I'm in."

"Nobody's fucking 'in'!" Amar is the one to raise his voice this time, which is surprising because he usually speaks so softly. "If you think your father would want us risking your safety to do this – you're wrong. We called you here so that you would be aware, so you two could prepare yourselves. That's what Andrew would have wanted." He gets up and moves to the window, looking out it, deep in thought. I watch him rub his hand on his forehead before he continues. "I started thinking about you…about when you were a baby." I can already see his eyes, the distant look they're getting. "You were just this little thing of perfection. We watched you grow, you know, from that very first day, until now. And I am so damn proud that I played a part in the person you've become."

He turns to me now; his eyes staring at mine intently, a deeper purpose behind them. "You've been through a lot of shit already, kid, and you've pulled through it all. I would never let you put yourself in the line of fire again."

"I want to… For him." I say it softly, hoping he feels the desperation in my heart.

"Sacrificing yourself won't bring him back. The only thing you can do is keep on living," Reynolds says in a softer voice than we usually hear out of him.

Four takes my hand, slipping it under his. He doesn't speak; he just offers me his loving, hopeful eyes. I can't deny the way that they make me feel, their silent plea to make the right decision. His lips curve up a little, giving me a smile of support, and I pull my gaze away to look at Amar and Reynolds. Are they right? Would my dad be upset if I inserted myself into a situation I may not get back from? Of course, he would. I know it and they know it. And honestly, he'd also be really pissed at them if they let me put myself in that situation. Even years after his death, they're upholding the promises they made to him, spoken or unspoken.

"What do you want from us then?" I finally relent, silently admitting that I'll stay back.

"Amar is going to come by and sweep your apartments. I want you two together, all of the time. When you're at work, that's the only time you're apart. Tris, you need to have someone working the door every night, or at least at the bar. Uriah, Zeke, Four, Will... even Tori. I don't care who, as long as they're one of us."

I nod, listening intently to all of his directions, taking in all of the details he's telling me.

"You are never in that bar alone, Tris. You got that? Other than that, we act normal."

"'Normal'?" Four almost laughs next to me, running a hand over the back of his head. "Yeah… Normal."

"We'll be fine," I say as I slide a hand over to his knee. I want to make a comment about how we can spend the time distracting each other, but I don't dare do that in front of these two father figures sitting with us. It would be like doing that in front of my own father. Barf.

Four's hand covers mine. "We will be."

When we leave Reynolds's house a few hours later, I'm exhausted. Mentally, the entire day has been draining, even though it's still early. After they convinced me not to be directly involved in taking down Jeanine, we reviewed everything we knew about her, sharing all the dirt we had each gathered over the years. I've met quite a few officers in various units since Dauntless opened, so I gave them the names of the guys I'd chatted with and the small, yet seemingly insignificant details they'd shared with me. Men can be so clueless.

Four can see the exhaustion in my face, so he offers to drive us back to my apartment, and I hand over the keys more than willingly. He backs out of the driveway and begins winding through the streets of our city, leading us back to my apartment.

"So… Looks like we're going to be spending quite a bit of time together now," he says, and I can hear the smile in his words.

My eyes are closed as I lean against the headrest, but I don't need to open them to tease him. "Are you complaining, Tobias Eaton?"

He laughs. "No way. It was a surprising order to get from my boss, though. To shack up with his pseudo-daughter."

It is ironic, and I tell him so. "I was actually kind of happy to hear that though. I think we have a lot to talk about…" I let the sentence trail because I know just as well as he does that there is a lot to talk about, a lot of secrets we need to share.

"Yes, there will be some talking happening. But also, some mumbling and moaning." He gives me a half smirk from the corner of his eye.

"And some cooking. Your chicken parm is killer." My hand wanders over to his knee where it often rests so casually.

"I was thinking, maybe this could be a little trial run?" He avoids looking at me as I open my eyes to gauge what he's saying.

"For?"

"For making it a more permanent situation that takes place when it is not being ordered by my boss."

I pause. I really suck at reading between the lines when it comes to men and I don't want to assume something that I shouldn't be assuming. I would look like a total moron in addition to feeling like one. And, what if his feelings aren't as deep as mine? Then I would also look like a moron while he's trying to back off.

"Tris, I'm asking if maybe we can think about, or talk about, living together." He says it quickly, letting out a long breath after it, like he was holding it.

"Yeah?" is all I can muster up, because I'm semi-speechless.

His smile becomes more relaxed at my response. "We've been together for a while, right?"

"Four months," I reply, knowing that he already knows the exact amount because that's the type of person he is.

"My apartment lease is up in eight weeks. There's really no where else I'd rather be than with you."

He says it so casually, like it's not one of the most meaningful things anyone has ever told me. Like his words didn't just reach right into my chest and warm up the heart that's beating there.

I feel his hand cover mine. "I like thinking about that…and I definitely like talking about it, too," I say with a smile.

"Yeah? Do I get a grade when all of this is done?" he asks me jokingly.

I laugh. "Once we make it through this initiation." I squeeze his fingers in excitement.

"Well, I guess I can now say," he eases the car to a stop in a parking space in front of my building, "that we're home." He leans over and plants a soft kiss on my lips before hopping out of the car. I can't help but feel warmth and security as he strides over to open up the car door for me, grabbing my hand as we walk together, and then as he uses my key to unlock the building door.

TOBIAS

Tris and I lounged on the couch when we returned, both drifting off to sleep to the lull of the TV quite easily. The day had been draining for both of us, and if we're going to address any of the issues at hand, we're going to have to be rested…and fed. I am fucking starving. Tris will be too. I know this because she barely ate after Reynolds left Dauntless last night and she only snacked a little this morning. I've seen her speed eat during nights at the bar, always hungry after a busy night. She's going to be hungry now.

I pull out my phone and browse the nearby restaurants that offer delivery, settling on a Chinese restaurant with five star reviews on a local website. Chinese is the one food Tris and I haven't eaten together. I could tell you what she likes on her pizza, how she takes a burger, and that she hates any seafood. She loves French dressing on her salads and prefers chicken to steak every time.

But for Chinese food, I'm stumped. I order a few safe options, like sweet and sour chicken and fried rice. Everyone eats those things, right? Then I get a few of my favorites that I think she'll go for since she likes flavor and spicy food, too. I know I've selected way too much food, but I want her to be satisfied. And if we're going to have to be holed up here, at least we'll have plenty of leftovers.

As I wait for our food, I look over at her, lying on the deep couch, her arms tucked close around her sides. She stirs a bit and then I see her reaching out next to her to find me, her hands searching for me in the emptiness. I ease myself next to her again and she curls up into my chest before her eyes flutter open.

"Where were you?" she mumbles, her eyes sliding closed again.

"I only got up a little while ago." I rub her back, my hand lightly grazing her up and down. "I ordered dinner."

"Thank God. I'm starving." I feel her bury her face into my neck and I wrap my arm around her a little tighter.

"I knew you would be." I chuckle, recalling my expectations of when she woke up. I enjoy the fact that I know her so well.

She slips her arms up around my neck. "So far, the trial run is going good."

"I agree," I say, just as the doorbell rings. I ease myself off of the couch to get the door while Tris rolls and lazily stretches her arms out above her head, arching her back as she does so. If there weren't someone waiting at the door with our food, I'd stare at her a little longer.

After paying, I shut the door and turn back to the apartment. Tris is already walking into the kitchen, moving to the fridge to grab each of us a beer. She places them on her small table as I unload the bags.

'Fuck, Four! How much did you order?!" Her eyes widen at the amount of food that's set out.

I shrug. "I wanted to make sure I got something that you would eat. So, I gave you options." I open the containers, the aromas escaping from each one.

She smiles at me and puts her head down. "You're too good to me." I know what's coming next. Guilt. "I never should have kept those things from you."

"Stop." I say it quickly, so she cannot argue with me. "We just weren't ready to talk about it then."

"Are we ready now?" she says as she raises her eyes to meet mine. "Because I need to."

I sigh. I'm not ready. I don't really know if I will ever be ready, but I can't keep waiting and she deserves to know what I need to say. And I know Tris needs to do this, so we'll do it together.

"What do you want to talk about?" I finally get out.

"Eric. The drugs. The stupid things I did."

"I already talked to Amar… And he told me…some stuff."

"I'm not an addict, Tobias."

My eyes snap up at her in confusion. "I never thought that, Tris. I know you aren't, because I know you."

She softens a little, her shoulders sinking a bit, revealing how tense they were. "When my mom died, I had a lot of people around me. I had my dad and Caleb. We all got through it together. But when my dad died… Caleb was gone and everyone else felt just as shitty as I did. Reynolds and Amar... I couldn't ask them for anything."

Instead of sitting across the table from her, I pull my chair next to hers, but continue to pick at the containers in front of me. "You're never going to feel that way again. Whatever happens, I'll always be here."

She smiles and then regretfully says, "That's kind of why I always had 'rule number one'. What if you are the next one to leave?"

I'm taken back by the comment, by the bluntness of it, even though I know it's a possible reality. I know that I could be the next one to be sucked out of her life.

"It's hypothetical. Don't answer that."

I nod in response.

"Anyways, I was really sick of being that girl whose parents died, too. It was in the papers and on the news and everywhere I went. But then I started hanging out with Eric..." She lets her voice trail for a moment before continuing. "Eric and his friends didn't care that my parents were dead or that I hated my life or anything like that. It was an escape. And at first, I just drank. A lot. I went to parties he invited me to or met him out at the bars." She puts a hand on her forehead for a moment, as if to check and see if she's ok to go on. "I fucking slept with him," she whispers.

I try to play the comment off like it doesn't bother me, but it does sicken me to think of another man with his hands on her, their bodies close, his… Ugh, I've got to stop that train of thought. "I figured that, from when he was at Dauntless." I try to sound casual, so I rub her back softly. "It's ok, Tris."

She breathes out, then keeps going. "I knew Eric did some drugs, but I didn't know everything. So, a couple times when the alcohol didn't numb me enough and they offered me some shit, I finally said yes." She stabs a piece of chicken from a container near her.

"It makes you forget for a while that your heart is broken. You know? It makes you forget all the bad shit and you're really, really happy." She takes a bite of chicken, but I can tell she's only eating to delay her continued confession.

She swallows and her voice is quiet. "Then when it's over, you just remember everything that made you do it in the first place, but a million times worse."

I look over at her and I see the tears spilling over her eyes. "God, I really fucking sucked back then," she says as she wipes her cheeks with the heel of her hand.

I reach over, pulling her onto my lap. "You could never suck, Tris Prior." I slip my arms around her waist, pulling her close, urging her to rest her head on my shoulder. "It's in the past." I make circles on her knee with my fingers. "You don't have to keep going if you don't want to. Amar told me about the night he picked you up."

She breathes in to gain her composure. "Did he tell you how for months afterwards, no one wanted to leave me alone? Hana even made me spend weekends at her house." She offers a disgusted laugh at herself. "I barely scraped by that semester, so I really had to get my shit together for my final year."

"I just want to ask you one thing."

She nods, meeting my gaze. "Anything."

"Do you ever feel tempted to do it again?"

She immediately shakes her head. "Oh, God, no. After all that, whenever I went to the bars or a party, if I saw anyone with weed or pills or anything, I would leave. A few times I threw up just from being so disgusted by the memories. Seeing the faces of the people who loved me, that day at Amar's house, was the biggest slap in the face I could have ever given anyone. They didn't deserve that."

I nod, rubbing my nose on her collarbone. "You have nothing to be ashamed of, Tris. I still think you're just as amazing as I did when I met you."

She smiles, kissing me lightly. "Promise me you'll never lie to me. If you're really disgusted, I'd want to hear it, and any time in the future."

"I could never be disgusted with you, Tris. Everything about you is beautiful."

"I just mean that I want you to be honest. Always."

"I will be."

She nods, acknowledging my agreement to her promise.

"Do you want to hear my secrets?" I ask, knowing that it's my turn to share something.

Tris puts an arm around my shoulders and leans in. "I would, but I would also really like to eat this food in front of us."

I laugh at her typical Tris answer. "That's my girl."

The following afternoon, Tris comes to the precinct on my lunch break, but this time she drags me out of the office while giving Reynolds a reassuring and silly wave. She smiles at Zeke, who I know is growing concerned, or at least suspicious, about our unusual activities. We're all trying to act as normal as possible, but Zeke knows me better than anyone.

Tris's giddy smile erases any worries from my mind as I watch her practically dance out of the precinct and onto the sidewalk. "What are you so happy about?" I ask as I pull her towards me with an arm and kiss the top of her head.

She smiles up at me, brushing her hand against my chin as she pulls me down to kiss her. "I am taking you to my favorite place in the city."

"Favorite? You've taken me to three 'favorite places' already. There was the Harold Washington Library, Maggie Daley Park, and… What was the other one?"

She sighs in frustration at my teasing. "Pizano's Pizzeria. But this is the last one. I promise."

My arm tightens around her shoulders and I inhale her scent. "I think it's cute that you love so many places, you can't pick just one." I see her smile beneath me. "So, where are we going today?"

She looks up at me. "Just wait." My arm slides down from around her and her hand slips into mine. "How's work so far?" she asks after a few moments of comfortable silence.

I know she's asking how my day is going, but is also asking if anything unusual has happened that's worth noting. "Just a normal day, normal cases. I caught up on a lot of paperwork."

She glances around us, and I know that she's being cautious. "I haven't talked to Reynolds."

"Me neither. Just about work."

"Will you be at Dauntless tonight? I only snuck away for lunch. I have to go back after we're done."

"Of course." I've been spending every evening there, eating dinner and usually having a couple beers. Most nights I don't stay up until closing, but I crash on the couch in her office until she's ready to go. Even though she urges me to go to her apartment, I can't stand the thought of her walking home alone or hailing a cab.

I can sense her excitement growing as she pulls me to a stop and faces me. "So, I know I have a lot of favorite places, but this one is really special. My mom took me here a lot as a kid. I've never been here with anyone other than my family."

"Are you sure you want to share this with me?" I'm moved, beyond moved, that she's ready to share this with me, but I can imagine how hard of a decision this had to have been.

I feel her hands squeeze mine. "Of course, I am. I'm in love with you and there is no one else I want here with me." She moves toward the door, pulling me with her by my hand. I look up, seeing a dark grey sign with white lettering and yellow detailing on the edges of the wood. 'Johanna's Gourmet Popcorn' it reads. I've never noticed this place, which is surprising considering how close it is to the place I work.

When the door shuts behind us, a bell jingles and a motherly looking woman comes out from behind the counter. Her gray hair is tied up at the back of her head and she wears an off-white apron over her red shirt. "Tris!" she exclaims. "It's been too long!" She moves out from around the counter to wrap her arms around her, which Tris returns. She then steps back, putting a hand on her hip as she eyes me up and down.

"Who is this handsome man you have here?" she says as she continues to glance at me, taking in my whole appearance.

"This is Four," Tris says, giggling like a teenager. "Four, this is Johanna."

"Four?" Johanna asks, raising one eyebrow. "What kind of name is that?"

"The kind you have when you're gorgeous and mysterious," Tris answers for me casually, knowing I don't really have an answer to give. I still haven't even told her why I go by the name Four, and yet she still refers to me by it, rarely using Tobias in public.

"Hmmm…" Johanna mumbles as she returns back behind the counter. "You've missed some new flavors, Tris. It's been a while since I've seen you."

Tris wanders closer to the counter. Clear plastic containers line the top, filled with a variety of popcorn, each section with a different flavor or color. I read the names of one, surprised and curious about most of them. There's the typical cheese, butter, and caramel, but the next few bins are unique flavors that I've never heard of before.

"Oh!" I hear Tris next to me, excitedly pointing at a bin. "Fettuccine! That's one of the best!"

I enjoy moments like this with Tris, watching her eyes light up and seeing the excitement in her step as she moves up onto her tiptoes. Being short, there are a lot of times she's missing the view. But I've always noticed that when something is really important to her, she puts the extra effort into getting onto her tiptoes, making herself as tall as she can to see what she's missing. "What's this one?" I point to a container of popcorn labeled 'Birthday Cake'.

"It tastes just like it!" Tris glances at Johanna. "Can we get a medium Fettuccine and a small Birthday Cake?"

Johanna offers me a sample, but I wave it off. Tris wants it anyways.

Tris turns to a long table behind us on the opposite wall. It's filled with plastic containers and different flavors of popcorn are in each one. "Four, which ones do you want?" Tris asks me as I see her pile two containers in her arm.

I chuckle. "Whatever you're getting is fine. I think you've picked out enough to last us a couple days."

She rolls her eyes at me. "This is our dinner, you know. So, select carefully."

"We have a new flavor, you're going to love it!" Johanna says proudly from behind us and we both turn to see her. "I just put it out a couple days ago. It's called 'Happy Hour', a mix of beer flavoring and pretzels." She spoons some out onto a napkin for us and when we both taste it, our eyes roll back.

"So…good…" I mumble with my mouth full.

Tris nods vigorously. "Amazing!"

We exchange glances and simultaneously say, "We'll take a large!"

TRIS

Popcorn bags and containers are lined up behind the bar as Christina has been sampling each one. While I've never taken Christina to Johanna's, she's certainly reaped the benefits of my many visits.

I went a lot as a child with my mom and Caleb. She would often limit us to just a small bag and only one flavor each. As I got older and started going without her, I rebelled. I bought as many flavors as I wanted from Johanna's ever-growing menu of creativity. Physically, going to Johanna's is a special thing for me. The familiar smells, the jingle of the doorbell, and the feel of the paper bags in my hand are sacred, personal feelings that remind me of my mother. It has always been something so intimate I never wanted to share it with anyone else until recently….until Four.

When I had initially pulled the bags out and put them on the cooler behind the bar, Christina squealed in delight. "It's been so long since you've gone there, I was wondering if she closed!"

"No way," I shook my head. "She'll be there forever."

Christina now slings her arm around my shoulders. "Four does bring some good things out in you," she sighs, tossing some Happy Hour popcorn into her mouth. "Oh my gosh! What is this?! It's so good; it's like an orgasm in my mouth."

I laugh at her bluntness, but agree. "It is."

I pause before adding. "There's actually something else pretty good happening in my life." I look down at the bar, nervous about Christina's reaction to what I'm about to tell her.

She drops her arm from around me and playfully smacks my arm. "What are you keeping from me?!"

I can't help but feel a smile spread across my face. "I wasn't hiding it. It's just been a…more recent development."

She eyes me up and down curiously as she has to turn to a customer and take his order. Christina is not patient, so pouring his drink while waiting for me to continue is clearly eating at all of her patience. He opens a tab, so she takes his card and taps a few times on the register before tossing it on the counter and turning back to me.

"Spill."

"Four and I are talking about moving in together."

"I knew it was coming! You guys are together ALL the time! Especially lately…" She lets that last part trail, like there's more to it.

"We're just kind of trying it out, making sure things will work." I try to sound casual, like I'm not as excited as I truly feel.

"Whatever! You guys don't need to 'try' anything. I see how you look at each other. I'm sure everything you're 'trying' has worked out just fine – in every area." She raises her eyebrows at me as she says it and I throw a piece of popcorn at her.

"Shut up and be normal. I'm trying to tell you something without you acting like a crazy person." I already knew Christina would react this way, so I'm just giving her a hard time. She's the only person I've really ever opened up to about personal stuff, even if sometimes she makes it a bigger deal that I'd like.

"Ok. So, who asked who?" she says with a more serious face.

I have to somewhat adjust this story to not include the order from Reynolds to stay together, so I just make something simple up. "He did, I guess. We were just talking about how much time we'd been spending together. He said maybe we should spend some more together to see if…. living together… is something that could work."

"Where are you going? His place or yours?" She throws a piece of popcorn into her mouth while eyeing the other containers on the counter, trying to decide what her next bite will be.

"Well, mine."

"Isn't it kind of small?" She scrunches her nose. "I could never be that cramped with a man."

"Oh, shut it. It's fine. It's a lot bigger than your place now."

She nods as she realizes I'm making a valid point.

I continue. "Now it's your turn. Will?"

"Oh, yeah. About that…" I can tell she's trying to avoid the topic and the always-candid Christina rarely does that.

"You know, I will withhold all of the popcorn you are currently snacking on if you are not going to tell me the truth." I snatch one bag away as a threat.

"I…went out with him. On a real date." Her eyes avoid mine. "Twice."

"You've gone out with him twice and you didn't tell me at all?!" This time I'm the one overreacting.

"Well, you've been busy," she says, and again I can tell there's more to that statement.

I dodge the statement. "And you told Uriah?" I ask hopefully.

It's her turn to dodge. "I've been busy."

"Christina you can't avoid that forever! You need to be honest before it gets too hard, for you and for Will!"

"What? You and Will?" Uriah says standing right in front of us and I realize we didn't hear the door open. Will stands next to him, both in their uniforms, probably here to take their lunch breaks. Will's mouth has slightly dropped open and he's looking at Uriah, hoping to gauge his level of intensity.

"This is my fault," Will says, stepping forward and facing him. "I should have told you right away—"
"Told me what?!" Uriah asks, his frustration starting to grow.

Christina and Will exchange a glance, and because I know Christina, I can see the stress wearing on her face. Her eyes are wide, but her jaw is slack. I can tell her breaths are fast and nervous and she can't pull her eyes away from Will.

"I've been seeing Christina."

Uriah looks between the two of them, clearly unsure of his reaction. He walks around Will with an uneasy look and comes to sit at the bar. "You knew?" he asks me.

"Only a little. And I told her that they needed to figure this out before they ran to tell you."

"Why is telling me such a big deal?" he asks, frustrated and probably also slightly upset. "It's not my business."

"Yes it is!" Christina says with emotion. "You're my friend and you're his partner and no one wants you to be upset! So we've gone out a couple times, on dates, and we really want to continue this, but we want you to be ok with it!" Her hands are flailing around as she speaks, trying to release her frustrations and get everything out that she needs to.

"I'm a little pissed you thought this would be such a big deal," Uriah says finally.

"Ugh, remember that time in high school?" I lean into him and whisper, maybe just a little too loudly. I can tell this from the daggers Christina shoots at me. "Yeah, that's why."

Uriah runs a hand over his head and scratches at the back of his neck. "I've got three ground rules. One, I don't want to hear about you two having sex. Two, if you break up, leave me the fuck out of it. And three, if you hurt her I'll have to kill you, Will. So, try not to do that."

Christina and Will stand shocked, but Uriah just shrugs at them and grabs a menu, even though he probably has it memorized.

"Great! That's settled!" I clap my hands, happy things have worked out. "Now, who wants popcorn?!"