As soon as the lift closed, he also shut his eyes, taking even breathes as he think about to happen. He felt the hand entwined with his squeeze him a little, and he responded with a small smile. He is nervous, but he knows this will be the best thing to do. He should have done it long before, this deed which will hopefully set things right. The sound of the familiar chime echoes, signifying the two of them reach their floor and hand in hand, they walked out of the elevator and head to their destination. There's tension hanging beneath the surface, but the warm grip enveloping his hand somewhat gives him the strength to continue.
They were few doors away from the place when his phone suddenly rang, he was about to pick it up but then a rushing old lady accidentally hit him, making his mobile phone fell on the ground. A quick sorry was given and he said it's okay. His phone is no longer working. Pocketing the said gadget, he assured Ikuta who is with him that it's nothing, and he's not expecting any calls at this moment anyway, and together they marched the last few steps until the exact location. He glanced at him and he gave him a gentle, reassuring smile. He took a deep breath and with a thumping heart, He pushed the doorbell and waited.
"Who's there?", came the voice from the door camera intercom.
He shivered slightly at the sound but tried to answer nonetheless. "O-Okaasan…" he uttered, bowing a little at the camera for he knows his mother is watching on the other side.
"Oh, Kane-chan, Ikuata-kun!," he heard his mother called and seconds later, there she was, opening the door and greeting them lively. He immediately hugged him the moment he saw her, probably gaining strength and a silent way of making the other feel what he's been going through. His mom seems to understand though, the connection between a mother and her child couldn't really be denied. A troubled expression crossed Mrs. Shingyouji's face as as she embraced her son, looking at Ikuta, quietly asking her what's wrong. The other guy just shook his head and let them be, Shingyouji has the right to tell his mother personally. He pulled away and smiled a little to his mother, holding her hand and clutching it tightly to at least lessen her worries. But then at the back of his head, the gesture is actually a form of an inaudible apology and a plea of acceptance, for what he's about to do.
"You should have told me you're coming, I could've prepared something.", his mom uttered he was settles on the couch, Ikuta on the seat-er located just beside it.
"Otousan?" Shingyouji asked, noticing the man of the house isn't around.
"Don't worry he just went out with some business partners, if he had known you're dropping by, he would have gladly stayed at home." Mrs. Shingyouji continued, placing two cups of tea on the center table for the two.
"D-did you…" Shingyouji began to ask.
"We thought about it and your father and I decided to give ourselves a chance seeing you suffering is not the right time to think of divorcing, dinner is almost done, both of you join me okay?" she said with a tender smile, this makes Shingyouji's uneasiness intensifies. He knows after what he's going to say tonight, his mother probably won't be smiling anymore yet he has to take the risk. Sooner or later, he knows that he really has to do this. He doesn't know if this is the best time but since he's already here, might as well take advantage to push through with little courage he managed to pluck up.
He watched as his mother chat with Ikuta in glee, yet it's obvious that he was waiting for him to talk. And eventhough he's trying to hide it, the hint of fret cnnot be concealed. Shingyouji bit his bottom lip, he wishes his mother will understand.
"Okaasan…" he began and at once, the Ikuta and his mother stop talking. The attention he got sort of dried Shingyouji's throat, blocking the words he wanted to voice out. He turned to Ikuta, who's currently sporting an expression of encouragement, smiling and nodding his head softly for Shingyouji to continue. He filled his chest with air, before blurting out.
"I need to tell you something." He said and his mother tilted her head.
"What is it?" she asked, inching closer to her sound on the couch, telling him he has her full attention wordlessly.
Unable to meet his mother's eyes, Shingyouji lowered his gaze and stare at the flower vase over the center table, like it's the most interesting thing in the room. He drea another deep breath, indicating how nervous he currently is, before continuing.
"A-Arata-san… you know my senpai in Shidou…" her mother frowned a bit at the mention of the name. "A-Arata-san and I…" he bit his inner cheek so as not to xry. He's feeling weak right now, the small confidence he possessed earlier seemed to fade away. He doesn't know how he sould continue, how could he break the news to his mother in the gentlest way, and how could he face her afterwards, will she be okay? Will she be mad? Or worst will she be disappointed? A tear recklessly fall on his smooth cheek.
"Do you love him?"
Shingyouji's head immeadiately shot up at the question. Even Ikuta who is sitting quietly and watching the other two was stunned at the words by the younger's mom. He looked back at his mother in complete shock and disbelief. How did she- Did she knew all along? But the only ones who knows this before is his grandmother, and his friends in Shidou. Did somebody—
"Nobody told me." Mrs. Shingyouji answered the unspoken question. "I sort of figured it out. Mother's instinct if you want to put it that way." Another gentle smile crossed her pretty face, which might have been wrinkled by time but it's beauty never faltered. She reached for her son;s face and cupped it tenderly, wiping the tears that her child had unconsciously let out.
"I've always known there's something more with you and that Misu guy, I can see and feel that special connection between the two of you. I've witnessed the diffrence, it was enevr the same as to what you have with Ikuta ." his mother kept on glancing at Ikuta for a while before enclosing her son's hand in his.
"You may not be aware of this but your eyes twinkle at the mention of his name just like how you looked like everytime I hand you your favorite chocolate when you're younger", her mother smiled at the smiled at the memory, how fast time flies really. "I noticed this even before, before your accident. During school break you are always eager to go back to Shidou right away, not only because you hate hearing me and your father fighting and when you talk to your grandmother about him it's as if he;s included in every story you tell her, I just knew. I'm your mother, once in our lives, were one, you cannot hide anything from me." She said and Shingyouji chuckled a bit, ignoring the tears that keeps on coming, which his mom has oh so lovingly wipes away.
"I should have known…" he smiled a little. "I should have known that you knew it all along."
Mrs. Shingyouji smiled once, that understanding and comforting smile she now have for his child. She strokes her son's hair gently, thankful of the fact that he has come to tell her this.
"So do you love him?" she asked once again. She knows he does, he loves him so much that even his memory lost doesn't prevent him on falling all over again for Misu. But she wanted to hear it from him personally. In that way, she'll see how happy her son is with him, and that she didn't have to worry that much even though the relationship her son has is too complicated to begin with.
"I really don't know." Shingyouji began, staring at the flower vase pot over the center table again, "B-but… I can't see myself being with any other, other than him. I think of my future… and there was him," he said, a faint smile crossing his plump lips. "W-well, don't get me wrong. It's not that I can't live without Arata-san, I'll still be breathing without him. I can still continue my life even if he's not there beside me anymore. Certainly I can." A tear fell once more he wiped it curly. "But thinking of it, thinking that I'll be waking up each morning wondering if he had already belong to someone else and not me, I feel my chest constricting, like having a heart disease or something . and he makes me happy like no one else does." Ikuta smiled bitterly hearing that, like Shingyouji's mother, he always knew Misu is the primary source of Shingyouji's happiness.
"I can't live without Misu… but I don't want to. I would never want to." He confessed. He himself was not aware of that fact until now. He can probably deal with the fact that he'll not end up with Misu, but the thought itself makes him want to burst out crying. He doesn't want that. Life without Misu is like a convenient store without his favorite chocolate. It has everything he needs, but that one particular necessity he's craving for the most isn't there. It's lacking; it's incomplete.
"Misu is a sweet kid, he calls your grandmother more than you do you know? Or he would check on us even give me strength between me and your father's relationship or tell something about you." Mrs. Shingyouji chuckled upon the memory. "I know he'll take care of you, and I know too that he loves you as much as you do, or maybe more. It's a relief too that you fall for someone we can trust, maybe it won't be that hard for us to let you be, we love Misu nevertheless." She uttered and Shingyouji looked back at her this time, scrutinizing his mother's face if she's saying what he thinks she's trying to say. Mrs. Shingyouji chukled a bit before touching her child's cheek; caressing it in a comforting manner.
"Don't worry about you dad, he still has the tendency to act like a baby but I can handle him, I think he wouldn't mind having another son, besides seeing you this happy he won't hinder you being with him." She said reassuringly and Shingyouji could only stare back with a quite stunned expression.
Is she saying—is she agreeing—
"As long as you're happy, that's all the matters." Mrs. Shingyouji uttered, like reading her child's brain once again.
It was a slow reaponse but as he finally came to comprehend what's happening, he jumped like a kid on his mom, crushing her into a big bear hug. Mrs. Shingyouji giggled whilst Ikuta chuckled with them, glad that verything is settled.
"You're the best okaasan." He uttered through sobs. Yes he's crying because he finally said it crying because he felt his chest being freed with his heavy feeling.
He aims to be the best for Misu, and by doing so, he knows he has to show him rather than telling him, so plucked up all the courage and asked for some boost from a friend, which is Ikuta, and intended to do something he knows he hasn't done before, to tell other most important persons in their lives beside themselves, their family.
He wants to show Misu that he's not ashamed of what they have, that he's serious about this as much as he is. He's done with his; maybe he could ask Misu to visit Tokyo some time so they can tell his family too. Their families have the right to know, and Misu deserves to be treated like this. Shingyouji's on it, he wants to be the right person Misu truly justifies and he will be.
He snuggled at his mom's warm for one last time before showering her face with kisses. He was never like this with his mom ever since he grew up but right now, there's noting else he wants to do. Words of gratitude and love were said, and Shingyouji cannot be happier and relieve.
He can't wait to tell Misu about the news. Right the moment he comes back into the dorm, he would be all his.
Just like how it's always been.
A/N So this part is for Shingyouji's side, actually I want to give the full credit to a dearest friend of mine who did this chapter for me, all I did is reconstruct the sentences and correct some spellings and grammar(I know thats not my forte) heck he made it into broken sentences but still MY BIG THANK to my OPPA who made this for me, my rols is to share this only so really no credit for me still hope you enjoy ^^ I told him to just co-author me but I think it's impossible and he doesn't want to *pout* hope you enjoy the chapter made by my friend ^^ Yeah I know, he decided to keep Shingyouji's parents together personally I like it(I think I should just be the reader of this) thank you OPPA! promise I'll treat you food on PAYDAY! ^^ for my readers hope you like this and comment if you want to ^^ give him the thumbs up not me.