A/N Wow. This is an angst-fest. I actually got some feels reading this.
So I made Silena depressed. Please don't chase me with pitchforks! This is what happens when I sit down with no real direction or plan. Depression ensues.
Can someone please review with a character? Can be from HOO or PJO.
Disclaimer:Disclaimed.
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Silena
Beauregard.
Daughter of
Love.
Sweet, Kind, Beautiful
Silena.
Hide all that awful heartache
(The dullness, smothering you.
Interrupted by euphoria.
That's when you know a fall is coming.
Bringing you deeper into your own darkness.)
Heartbreak does strange things to people.
And you've been breaking all your life.
…
You don't have many pictures of home.
Daddy doesn't like pictures much.
You love them.
Happy-smiling faces.
You found a picture of your
Mother
Once.
Daddy took it away.
He went to his room for a long time.
You thought you heard him crying.
Heartbreak does strange things to people.
Maybe it runs in the family.
…
You were sorry,
When you left.
(But more hopeful.
Family.
You always wanted a big family.
Maybe they'll even love you back.)
Of course,
That fairytale
Wasn't all
Pinkandsparklyandperfect.
(When you have kids someday, you won't read them that kind of story.)
For the family,
The other children who love,
You'll become anything.
(Even the princess in this
sick and twisted
fairytale-tragedy
that is your life.)
But when the smokeandmirrors
Paintedsmiles Games
get to be too much,
The forest is a refuge.
You're careful.
Don't get caught, 'Lina.
Lets you think, away from that
Family-that-isn't.
Sitting in the shade,
You make up your mind.
You'll go home for the year.
Maybe Daddy can clean up your
Absolute mess
Of false expectations.
Heartbreak does strange things to people.
Even when you try to run from it first.
…
Your father's happier.
(He's seen a doctor.
Sshh… You're not supposed to know.)
He hugs you.
You stiffen.
He frowns.
"'Lina, have you been getting enough to eat?"
You don't remember the last time someone asked you that.
But you don't remember much of your early years.
(Just tumbling
Falling
Into the monotony of days.
Craving those moments of maniac energy.
Crying as you slip from them.)
Hurts less that way.
Things are better for a few weeks.
Then, you find a tube of lipstick.
And an unfamiliar, shinynew photograph.
You aren't in this one.
She's pretty.
You ask him about it.
He tells you.
Fiance. You never thought that could be a painful word.
But you smile, and gush
Like a good little girl.
You're glad he's moved on.
That night, you leave a note.
He'll be happier this way.
No messy 'Lina there to drag him down.
You run away.
Heartbreak does strange things to people.
But he'll be alright.
It's for his own good.
…
Luke is… nice.
So…
Sweetcharmingdashing.
He appeals to your p^r^i^n^c^e^s^s side.
(Even though that part of you feels faker by the minute.)
You can be loved
Even if it's just as a sister.
Then he betrays you.
All of you.
And he isn't so nice anymore.
He's scared.
That makes him dangerous.
He's been hurt,
You can tell,
So he hurts.
Heartbreak does strange things to people.
And after losing what little that loves him,
You wonder what it might do to Luke.
…
Charlie.
Oh gods, Charlie.
Wonderful Charlie.
Not the prince of the story.
The Knight.
Your own personal hero.
Knitting you back together.
Healing all the rough patches,
Smoothing all the sharp edges.
Gonegonegone.
When Clarisse finally leaves you alone,
You sit on your cabin roof.
It's nighttime.
(Too bad the harpies aren't around.)
Your Daddy sent bonbons.
They taste like cardboard.
Heartbreak does strange things to people.
You throw the chocolate away.
…
You're dying.
It hurts.
Clarisse's yelling, somewhere.
And it appears that you're talking to someone.
ButCharlie's here.
Wherever "here" is.
(Surprisingly, you never believed there was a happy afterlife.
Love while you can.
Even if most of them never love you back.)
You spare a few thoughts for Clarisse.
Love you.
Live a good story, okay?
Not like mine.
Love you.
Heartbreak does strange things to people.
But she's strong.
She'll survive.
Everything is dark.
But Charlie is here.
And you're more than okay.
You're loved.