Glass: Part 14

"I've been trying to think of somethin'," InuYasha says. "It's not like I know how to actually handle stuff like this in your time." He slouches against the Sacred Tree with Kagome's fat cat, Buyo, sitting in his lap. He holds the tip of the felines tail and swishes it around.

Kagome sighs from the other side of the tree, feeling her skin sting where the bark of the tree touches the back of her light blue blouse, as if it's really burning her.

While they can't see each other, they take comfort in hearing one another's voices. Mostly it was Kagome's idea to sit like this. Her relationship with the Sacred Tree is still strained, uncomfortable really, but overtime she's come to . . . accept? That doesn't sound right. She's come to . . . burden the reality that not only is this the Sacred Tree where she realized her love for InuYasha, it is now the tree where her beloved Grandpa is also buried under. She doesn't want to look at this tree with death anymore, but with . . . truth. Not when this tree holds so many more good memories than bad. Sitting on her own-as alone as she feels she can currently get near Grandpa's grave stone-is a good way to expose herself to this new truth, slowly but surely.

She needs to know that Grandpa's grave isn't death itself but a comfort in knowing that he's in a better place. That's what she tries to tell herself, but a part of her mind whispers she'll always be to blame for his death.

Kagome grumbles. "I know, but just give me an idea of what to do. I've been thinking and thinking, but everything I think of seems stupid."

InuYasha, for once, does as requested. He huffs in thought. "Hmm . . . why don't you just ask her?"

She stiffens. "I can't. No matter how many times I ask, she just blows me off."

"Then let me force it out of her."

"Are you nuts?" she says in disbelief.

"Alright, alright . . . . Do an exorcism on her?" he suggests.

On second thought, he knows that it won't work since she's not possessed by a demon, but what else could he say? They're talking about how they can help Kagome's mother. Like Kagome should expect him to know. Sure, he wants to help her, but how the hell is he supposes to do that in a time where he doesn't even know how that magic-box thing works?

"I was thinking I should hire a therapist," Kagome says quietly.

"What's a ta-therapist?" he asks, almost tripping on the word she used.

"A therapist is someone that works on a person that has an issue in they're life. They make it better by talking about it with that person."

"Then what exactly is your mother's issue in life?"

She sighs exasperated. "I don't know. She used to be so nice and little by little she has become what you see."

He lists off on his fingers. "Hostile, defensive, demanding."

"Making us be perfect. Can't eat too much. Can't have any blemish on the family's name," Kagome adds blandly.

"Well, if you think that a thear—tera—therapist is the right thing, then just do it," he says, embarrassed he couldn't say the word right the first time.

"It's not that simple. You have to pay for the amount of hours your with the therapist. At least find one that's professional, first off." She mutters sad. "If I do that, then I hope that Mama won't hate me."

He says surprised. "What? How the hell can your own mother hate you? She might be mean, alright, but there is no way she could ever hate you."

"I hope you're right." She asks shy, almost anxious. "Hey, um, want to come with me to see . . . Sota?"

InuYasha turns to look around the trunk of the tree to her, barley seeing her. Buyo doesn't approve of the movement, jumping off of him to wander somewhere else. InuYasha says confused. "Huh? I thought you said that he was in some kind of place that I couldn't go to?"

She continues sounding uneasy. "You can come. When did I say that you could never go to see him?"

Kagome stands, instantly having the burning of the tree vanish from her skin, and comes around to InuYasha's side of the tree. She purposely stands before him to be as far away from Grandpa's grave as she can be without looking strange.

"Well, are we going or not?" she asks.

He agrees.

And so does Mama, as she's obviously going with them after Kagome told her where she wanted to go. While Kagome is still in trouble, if Mama was so deranged as to refuse to let her even seen her brother, Kagome would have lost it herself. She can only pray that the trip goes well, that Mama won't switch to another mood besides happy or concern for Sota. He has been getting better—finally—no longer in the ICU, but Kagome's not ready to forgive herself for getting him in the hospital in the first place

After InuYasha dawns that baseball hat that covers his ears, making him complain that it muffles his hearing, and leaving his sword in her room, they're off. Their first stop being a flower shop—setting InuYasha's nose on fire—and buying a large amount of different types of flowers. Kagome carries them in her arms as InuYasha doesn't want that mess of pollen up against his nose.

As the bullet train sways along, Kagome's nervous heighten, thinking about what InuYasha's reaction will be. She figured that he would want to see Sota, but with the state her brother has been in, she's held off inviting him. She's come to realize, though, that InuYasha has seen people in worse condition. No matter what Sota looks like, InuYasha would want to see him, even if that stubborn man refuses to admit it.

"So . . . this is a hospital?" InuYasha asks, taking in the monster four story building encased all in white.

Kagome nods. "Yes, this is where Sota is staying."

"Don't waste time, we need to keep moving," Mama directs. She walks ahead of them to the front entrance.

They don't need directions to get to Sota's room; Kagome's been here many times before and could walk to Sota's room blind by now.

InuYasha has never been to a place like this before. It's especially evident by the way he keeps looking at everything very curiously, pausing every once in a while and having Kagome tug him along. He wonders out loud what the things around him are, and why does is smell so weird in here? He says that the place smells a lot like death and sickness, making Kagome's gut tighten.

Reaching Sota's room, the place is devoid of dust, just like the rest of the hospital with it's bleach infested cleanliness. Sota lies on his back with the bed slightly elevated, an air mask covering his face from nose to chine. Wires coil their way under his mint green blanket, hooking IV's and heart monitors to him. The boy is covered in bruises and a cast covers his right arm.

It's a bitter sweet thing for Kagome to find Sota here. She's happy that he's getting better, but her mind won't let go of the image of him getting hit by that car. She really hopes that when Sota wakes up, he'll forgive her. Please, let him. Maybe it's a better option to have him forget in the first place about the whole thing.

Mama takes the flowers that Kagome has been holding, her vice-grip crinkling the plastic wrap around the flowers. She places the flowers inside a glass vase that sits on the bed side table next to Sota. All around the table are get-well cards from friends and school mates.

Kagome doesn't take her eyes off of Sota, going to sit on the only chair in the room to the left of his bed. She searches for his small hand under the covers until she finds it and holds tightly onto it.

InuYasha stands at the end of the kids bed petrified. He can't understand. What the hell is connected to Sota? It smells of old and healing wounds in here. Sota seems almost unreal lying there, eyes closed and breathing even. This little kid . . . .

"What the hell is hocked up to him?" he asks breathless.

"Things that help keep him alive," Mama answers cold.

Not having his question properly answered sets him on edge. "Can't someone do anything else for him?!"

"Hush! They're doing the best they can. Don't you think that I would want them to do more for him if they could?" Mama snarls.

"Come on, you two," Kagome says weak. "Sota will get better. It's just a matter of time."

It doesn't matter to InuYasha that he doesn't recognize a lot of the things around him. He's beyond pissed that this could happen to such a small pup. Why him of all people? Yet again another casualty because he couldn't be around to have possibly helped. He turns his ragging eyes to Kagome's mother. Did she do this to him? He can't take the thought that such a thing might actually be true. If she's teared her own daughter down to the point she's gotten to, it couldn't be far off that she physically abused her youngest kid.

They all stay for awhile, silently either staring at the pup or praying for his health. For most of his time here, InuYasha lean against the wall by the door and crosses his arms. His intense glare never leaves Kagome's mother. Not being able to do anything to help the poor kids is driving him further up the wall.

Kagome eyes InuYasha's behavior but doesn't speak up for most of the time. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to bring him here, worrying her that she really screwed this up.

She clears her throat, speaking softly. "Um, Mama, I want to go and ask the doctors how Sota's condition is doing."

"That's fine, Kagome," she mutters absentmindedly, never moving her eyes away from her son.

She tries to heighten her voice. "Alright. Come, InuYasha." She takes his hand and directs him out of the room.

"What? Hey, Kagome," he says confused, being dragged out the door and down the hall.

Kagome takes him into an empty stairwell, knowing that it will be the most privet place they could get in a crowded hospital. How often do people in a hospital use the stairs anyway? It's cold in the echoing space and a small window to the left of the stairwell becomes the only source of light. The heavy door to the place closes abundantly behind them. Looking closely at InuYasha, she finds that his face has paled and that his eyes have lost a certain light to them. Besides that, he looks confused and irritated.

"What's all this for?" he asks, crossing his arms in defense.

She sighs low. "I'm sorry for bringing you."

"What? There's nothing to be sorry for."

"Yes, there is. You're mad about this. Um, will you tell me what's wrong? I know it has to be hard seeing Sota like that."

InuYasha lets out a deep breath, turning his eyes away from her towards the window.

He wonders if he should really tell her. That he thinks it's her mother that did this to him. He can't know for sure until he asks her, but how the fuck could he ask her something like that?

"You can tell me," she soothes.

He grimaces, unable to look at her. He switches his gaze to the floor, hiding his eyes behind his bangs, but his sneering mouth that shows his glistening fangs tells all. "Who the hell did that to him?"

Everything in Kagome stops.

"It was your goddamn mother, wasn't it?"

Her heart constricts to the point that the pain in her chest is real. It's enough that she unknowingly brings her left hand up against her chest. Her throat bunches as she tries to hold down her vomit.

InuYasha lifts a deadly gaze to her. "I swear, if it was her, I'm going to her show exactly how the kid must have felt."

It was her! Kagome! Not Mama! She had nothing to do with this. It's all her fault . . . this whole thing is. How wrong was she to bring InuYasha here? How stupid could she have been? She didn't want to cause him pain but look at what she did.

The hurt in knowing the truth bursts out of her with a scream. "Don't say that!"

InuYasha's taken aback from her reaction for a second but recovers, shouting. "Who's fucking fault is this then?! Shit, I was gone when the kid needed me the most and this is what happens to him! Hell, I was gone when you needed me more than ever! I just keep screwing that part up, huh?! He's part of your family Kagome, how can I not feel so—so damn stupid for not being able to do something!? If I can't do anything to help him now than at least let me get the guy-or even your fucking mother-that did this to him!"

She grabs the front of his Fire-Rat, fisting the soft fabric in her hands hard enough that it turns her knuckles white. She can't look at him, too scared to try. She ducks her face down against his chest. "Please, don't say that. I can't stand you thinking that. It isn't your fault! You couldn't have known this was going to happen. It wouldn't have if I had just caught up to him!"

InuYasha's ears lower but a growl builds up inside of him. "What do you mean?"

"You know those machines that make loud noses and run past at fast speeds around the street? Cars? That is what got Sota. And the only reason one hit him isn't because of Mama! It's because of me!"

"Don't tell me that you blame yourself for this?!"

She shakes her head, still pressed against the Fire-Rat. Only seeing the top of her head, her tone of despair and crazed madness frightens him. "No, I'm the one that drove him into that situation. I-I made him afraid of me! He ran away from me! I tried to explain to him about what happened but he-he-"

InuYaha interrupts. "I don't understand! I mean, I can't believe the he would run from you. What happened?"

Knowing that the truth is at the edge of her lips, Kagome doesn't try and hide it. InuYasha isn't to blame in the least at what happened, and her guilt in knowing it was all her fault doesn't make her want to try and hide the fact but show him that it really is her fault. He can't take the blame for this! She jerks back and lifts the sleeve of her left arm, forcing her wrist up into InuYasha's face with urgency. "Look! Look at this! This is what drove him away into that car!"

InuYasha backs up a little to get a better idea of what she's talking about. Looking to her wrist, there are crescent moon marks that dot along her skin, lighter than her already creamy complexion. They remind him of the claw marks he sometimes accidentally gave himself when his nails would dig into his palm with restraint. His wounds always heal, never leaving a scar, but Kagome . . . .

He says horrified. "You didn't-"

Her eyes turn cold. "Yes." She drops her arm and rolls her sleeve back down, hiding her scar. Her voice is soft, giving no hint of emotion, as if all of her energy drained out of her from before. "Believe me, I didn't realize I was doing it at the time. But, Sota, he walked in on me sitting the floor with a bleeding wrist that wouldn't stop bleeding. I didn't mean to do it. He thought-he thought I was trying to-"

"Don't say it," he begs.

She take a deep breath, listening to him. "It's all my fault that he ran," she whispers.

He sets his heart, raising his voice into almost a command. "You couldn't have know this was going to happen. No matter the situation, you couldn't have known."

She shakes her head. "That doesn't change the fact that he wound up here."

"Just because he got inured at a time he was with you doesn't make it your fault."

The thought of having InuYasha hate her not only for sending Sota here but for what she did to herself makes her eyes open wide enough that they sting. She chokes back a cry. "You weren't there! You wouldn't know what it was like, seeing him get hit by that car when I was only a few feet away from him."

She can hardly bring herself to believe that InuYasha truly doesn't blame her. He was out for blood not minutes ago on who sent Sota here. The words that come out of someone's mouth are not always the same as what's thought in the head. She doesn't want InuYasha to hate her. Blame her all he wants-for it's the truth-but he can't want to get away from her side, just like Sota did. The thought is too great to bear.

"Please, don't hate me. Please, I didn't mean to do any of this," she sobs.

Kagome wraps her arms around his back, pressing close to him with her face buried in his chest. She's afraid to let him go, that if she doesn't anchor him down in some way he'll run. He's the only good thing left in her life, and no matter what horrible things she's done in the past, she can't let him leave no matter what. If he does, she doesn't know how to handle this.

"I could never hate you," he says soft. He wraps one around around her waist and the other combs through her hair to press against the nap of her neck. His lips gently rest at the top of her head with the touch of a butterflies wing.

This isn't Kagome's fault, InuYasha knows that for sure. If it takes him years of having to repeat that over and over to convinced her of that fact then he'll do it.

XxXxXxX

Kagome decides to not see Sota with InuYasha ever again. She can't bring herself to escort him to the hospital, not when Sota's would-be-almost murderer stands next to the man that would easily kill whoever did that to him. If it wasn't for the fact that it was Kagome, he probably would keep that promise, too. She knows that if she tried to get near the hospital with InuYasha, it would only fest in her brain that he really does hate her for what she did. There's only so much heart-ace she cant take. InuYasha can go and see Sota, she doesn't mind that if he willingly wants to go, but she can't go with him.

Trying to move past that dreadful confession, it's somewhere around the middle of the next day that InuYasha convinces Kagome's mother to let her come over to his side of the well. Sango and Miroku have already come back only a few days after leaving to find the Jewel shards.

Geez, what the heck happened with them, InuYasha wonders. Shippo probably got them into some kind of trouble or, then again, knowing their human bodies, they probably got their asses kicked or something. Kagome needs to see everybody to get a smile back in her life. Hell, even he needs some time in the fresh air his world provides.

In the Feudal Era, Kagome has gone back to Kaede's hut to talk with everyone else. InuYasha has decided to get away from everybody, needing some time to himself and get a wood walk in. There stifling air of Kagome's word makes him feel nauseous after awhile.

Past the farming fields and out towards the forest, he catches something strange in the wind. He's not too sure what it is but he knows its familiar, like some kind of root. If it's a demon then why the hell would it be so close to the village? He chuckles, thinking either way at least he'll be able to entertain himself, to forget everything for a while. When was the last time he was able to have a good fight?

InuYasha continues his search for the demons pinpoint. No matter where he turns his nose, it never seems to be any closer or stronger. What the hell is this? He knows something's there.

Running into a clearing of the forest, he calls out. "You looking for a fight or what!?"

There's no response.

Sniffing the air closely, he tries to find the source of the smell, running out of the clearing and into different parts of the forest, but none of his senses change to indicate where the demon is. He comes to a stop by the Bone Eaters Well, looking around the perimeter of the open area only to find nothings here. He's getting more and more irritated by the second. What the hell's is this?

"Get out here, you!" he demands.

"InuYasha."

His breathing halts. What's Kikyo doing here?

He turns around in a snap, the open well now behind him, to find his ex-lover. Kikyo stands as calm as ever, her long, raven hair tide back loosely with a white ribbon, priestess kimono clean and crisp, but her bow and arrows are gone. He questions that for a second, as she always has her weapons, but he lets it go for now.

He walks up to her. "What are you doing here?"

She shakes her head, ignoring his question. "Why do you not follow me, InuYasha?"

His eyebrows pinch together. "What are you talking about?"

"You said to me that you would live with me, remember? Why do you not come with me? Is it because I am one of the dead now?"

His eyes widen, wondering where this is coming from. "Kikyo I don't . . . . I promised that I would someday, but I can't yet. Kagome . . . ."

Her eyes harden. "Why do you let her get in the way?"

"I don't understand," he says agitated by her confusing behavior.

"InuYasha."

It's the voice of the other girl he cherishes.

Knowing how things turn out when the two girls get together, her spin straightens with his apprehensiveness. "K-Kagome?" he asks in disbelieve, turning to look at her as she stands a few feet away from him and Kikyo, standing next to the well. How did she manage to get behind him when she was just at Kaede's?

A smile graces her face, the smile that she only shows to him. She's in her usual school outfit, looking happy as ever with the light in her eyes back. So clear, so serene. She's so happy looking that it's almost believable compared to how she's been. He instantly feels himself wanting to melt in it, but seeing these two girls stands so close to one another leaves him in turmoil over what to do.

"What's going on . . . ?" he asks anxious.

"InuYasha you're not alone, you know that right?" Kagome asks softly.

He doesn't say anything but he tries telling her with his eyes that he knows it's true. Kagome makes it so that he's not alone. He can't say it though, because Kikyo's here. What is he going to do? He doesn't know what to say. It's like his voice won't work right. If he messes this up, he might lose them both.

"I promised that I would stay by your side, and I will, but it depends on one thing after we defeat Naraku," Kagome says.

"What is it?" he asks quickly.

"Will you come with me?" Kikyo interrupts in a hurry. "Remember, I am the first women you ever loved, you cannot sever the bond between us. Do you really want me to leave this world again?"

"No! I won't let that happen, Kikyo. But Kagome . . . ." He squeezes his eyes tightly. Dammit, I don't know what to do!

"InuYasha I'm here, I won't let you be alone," Kagome sooths.

He sighs softly but can't look at her. "I know you won't."

"Why don't we go home then?" she asks, holding her hand out.

He looks to Kikyo and a sort of desperation can be seen in his eyes. There's a part of him that wants to stay with Kikyo, but the other part desperately wants to go where Kagome is.

Kikyo continues to look at him with her sorrowful brown eyes, almost pleading with him not to leave her.

InuYasha looks back and forth between them, both silent as they await his answer. He wants to go with Kagome; she needs him so much, needs him to protect her. He also wants to go with Kikyo; he owes her that much her giving up her life for his, wanting to see her smile so gently to him again instead of that stoic face.

Kagome lowers her hand. "I'll be waiting, InuYasha," she says. She walks past them towards the village with out so much as a glance back at them.

"Wait—!" he calls out, but Kikyo grabs ahold of his Fire-Rat sleeve, holding him back.

He hesitates, only looking to where Kagome disappears into the trees. Kikyo lets go of his sleeve.

He stammers. "Kikyo—what is—?"

He turns to look back at her but she's gone.

Surprised, he snaps his head to look all around him, trying to find where she went. Did her soul collectors take her?

Then what about Kagome? She was acting so strange about the who thing. What is she going to do after seeing him with Kikyo? She looked pretty calm before but what will she be like when he sees her again? Will she want to leave his side, to head back to her home where her shattering life is awaiting to take her down rather than get near him? He won't let that happen.

He runs back to the village, seeing as he doesn't have time to think to himself. He needs to find Kagome.

It isn't until he passes the Sacred Tree that he realizes he hardly worried about what happened to Kikyo after she left—only Kagome.

XxXxXxX

When InuYasha gets back to find Kagome perfectly calm, sitting in Kaede's house and petting Kilala, it sets in his mind whirling.

Why isn't she mad?

His dumbfounded expression has his friends asking what is wrong, which he tries to explain—hoping that he isn't going to get Kagome angry—but it only sends them into a confused state themselves. Kagome tells him he never saw him or Kikyo, though he can tell that she doesn't like the thought. Ah-ha, so if she had seen them together, she would have been mad. She really hadn't then . . . ? It makes him wonder about Kikyo. Was she ever really there? InuYasha tries to explain again in more detail about what happened, wanting to get to the bottom of everything, but it sounds like a jumbled mess.

"Do you think a demon could have done it?" Miroku suggests.

InuYasha shrugs. He's the only one standing while everyone else sits around the fire. "I thought I smelled a demon but I wasn't sure."

"Could a God have tricked you?" Sango asks.

"Wow, InuYasha, you met a God," Shippo says amazed, sitting by Sango.

He snorts. "That wouldn't be it."

"Why do you think a demon would show you that illusion?" Kagome asks, almost sullen by what he saw.

He's silent for a second, looking at Kagome as she sits next to him, his mind replaying the scene in his head. Kikyo coming along, Kagome being there with him. What did it all mean? What kind of demon would know that sort of information about them and want to trick him—?

"You can stop staring at any time, you know," Kagome says uncomfortable.

He blinks. "Oh, um, sorry . . ." He growls low. "It has to be Naraku, who else knows my relationships like that?"

Miroku nods. "You have a point, but why would he do that scheme again? He tried a few times but it's always failed."

Mainly thanks to Kagome, InuYasha thinks.

Kagome already knows how easy it is for Naraku to corrupt InuYasha's heart with those past memories. InuYasha is always hung up about Kikyo. What she was surprised about was that she was in it the illusion, making him basically chose between them. She knows he can never do that. To abandon Kikyo is to abandon his promise that she would never be harmed again. He can never forget her. Both she and Kikyo have a part of his heart and it's hurting him.

InuYasha says. "He's stupid that's why. Like Naraku's brain is any bigger than Jaken's. What I don't get is why I couldn't smell him."

"Good point," Sango agrees. "Normally you always do."

Shippo says as if stating a fact. "Who knows, but it's because InuYasha's chasing after two women in the first place that it's so easy for Naraku to do this."

Said half-demon walks over to the defenseless Shippo, the little fox not moving fast enough as he lets out a yelp out in pain when he gets knocked over the head.

"InuYasha," Kagome scolds.

He scowls. "What, he deserved that. Stupid kit, he should know to keep his ass out of this."

"Sit!"

The rosary beads turn a bright purple as they pull him down, sending him face first into the wood floor.

Dammit, he hates it when she does that! What the hell did he do? He was just teaching the runt to mind his own business. His face is hurting from being pressed against Kaede's floor so hard he thinks he can hear the wood splintering apart under him. He tries forcing himself up, which works a little.

"I can't believe you would say that. You shouldn't pick on him just because he's smaller then you," Kagome says irritated.

Once the spell completely wears off, he jumps at her. "Why did you do that?!" he growls.

"I told you!"

"Stop it, you two. No need to fight," Miroku chuckles without humor.

Authors Notes:

Kikyo: "InuYasha why do you not follow me? . . . Follow me on Twitter."

InuYasha (C) Rumiko Takahashi