Feather Flight: Holding nothing back for yourself (part 14)
An AU Kuja fic, shonen-ai, language
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"It's time, Kai…"
"I know…" The large man made no sign that he was moving. His eyes and his attention never left the man in the secluded hospital bed.
"You should go." Bruised but still stubborn, his injured partner untangled his fingers from the soldier's hand, giving him a gentle shove to encourage him. "I'll be out of here by the afternoon, although I don't know if I'll be showing my face at court any time soon."
Dean Finlay shifted on her perch slightly, making room for the Duke to lean on the shelf as well. The old man was watching the pair by the bed with unabashed curiosity. Kuja fumbled again for his little mirror, grimacing at the black eye that one of the bouncing shards had given him. Apparently he was made of sterner stuff then any of them had anticipated. Only a day later and he was already yearning to be back on his feet and working. The general was not happy with his decision.
"You're going to rest, at least today?"
"I rested all yesterday. I'm fine Laro, a little worse for the wear perhaps, but only superficial structural damage." The silver haired man looked to the duke, who nodded in return. "… Your war awaits sir… I don't want to be the one who made you late."
"To hell with it."
"/Laro/." The sharp criticism brooked no disobedience. Finlay couldn't help but smirk at the way the taller man cringed. She no longer had any doubts about who exactly was the dominant in her friend's relationship. It was almost a pity that Kuja wouldn't be going to the front as well. More than anyone else, he seemed to have the knack of drawing the best out of their hesitant commander.
// Nazer was always a little too soft hearted for a soldier… but on the field he's a man who knows his business… if he'll only /go/…"
"Mr. Kuja is right, Nazer-kai… your army awaits. The timing of this accident has been unfortunate, I grant you, but Kuja will be well cared for whether you are here or not."
The dark skinned man frowned, knowing he had no choice. Turning back to his partner he reclaimed a hand, gripping it tightly. "No more experiments…"
"… I have no interest in getting hurt again, Laro, if that's what you mean."
"/Promise/ me…"
Kuja sighed. "Very well. I promise sincerely that /I/ will no longer conduct any dangerous experiments."
"Thank you…"
Biting his lip, the injured man didn't relinquish his own grip, even when the soldier stood up. "… promise me you'll come back?"
"… I promise." Responding to the fear in the strangled whisper, Laro stooped down to place a last kiss on the top of his head. "Be good."
The comment earned him a snort, but he didn't stay to see whether it was laughter or something else. Nodding at the two chancellors as he went, the general left to join his troops. He didn't look back. Finlay sighed into the empty room. She couldn't think of anything to say to ease the tense mood, didn't know if she even had the right to try.
"Nothing good ever lasts."
"Excuse me?" The pale man's sour comment caused her to blink, looking to the duke to see if he understood the cynical comment. The old man simply shrugged.
"Kuja?"
"Peace is but a shadow of death after all… and the season of destruction has come again." He smiled coldly to himself, setting the mirror aside. His pale hair cloudlike as it concealed his face he tucked his chin to his chest, shutting out the world. "Nothing ever changes… not even here."
"I don't understand." Duke Riquoi settled on the edge of the bed, unconsciously taking the general's place. "Man hasn't even left yet, who's to say if our new army will do worse than the old ones. They're better trained, better armed, and we have months of gathered intelligence on our side. There's no reason to be so hopeless… not for another month or two yet…"
As changeable as sunlight on water, Kuja shook his head. His dark mood pushed aside. Reaching out he patted the old statesman on the hand and flashed a small smirk at him and the Dean. "Doesn't matter… you're right. So long as we remain ourselves, we can boast some small victory… Tell me Professor… what of the wreckage of my little team… do you see the point I was trying to make?"
Smiling at the change of topic, Finlay joined the two men on the bed, claiming the corner opposite the duke. "I'm amazed you managed to think of something like that after being hit in the head with a crate."
"I'm more resilient then I look."
"Indeed." She reached out to gently ruffle his hair. "Curious little fellow, are those glued in?"
Kuja batted her hand away before she could tug on one of his feathers in order to investigate. "Leave my hair out of it woman. We're talking about fundamental weaknesses of your enemies…"
"They're insects."
"Exactly. This means what?"
"That they've got built-in armor so you have to aim for the joints?" Joining in on the conversation, the nobleman leaned on his hands. "But we know this already… as well as their aversion to salt water, and extreme cold…"
"Think bigger, my friends…what is the one biggest failing of all insects?"
"They don't have individuals."
"Good, and another?" He looked askance at both of them, but they had no answer. "They cannot cope with drastic change! The cold, and the water, these are symptoms… you see? The Selwe like hot arid climates, they're designed to function best in them… hence they create desert wherever they expand to…"
"… We thought they were doing that as an attack against us… burning us out, so to speak…" Riquoi was entertained by the new idea. "If it isn't spite, but necessity… how is this useful to us?"
The pale man shrugged. "It means you could do worse than retreating to where there is snow if you had to… it also means… we have the potential for doing a great deal of damage if we can take my experiment and apply it across a wide area."
"It's not the heat that stops them, but the sudden change from cold to hot…"
"Or hot to cold… your energy weapons work because they heat one small section of shell completely out of proportion to the rest, so it expands, and cracks… likewise, the heads and joints have less armor so the weakness is enhanced."
"Sudden attacks… "
"Over a wide area… Chemical weapons might also be possible, but they would likely be toxic to people too…" Kuja leaned back against his pillows. "Maybe infection… but that would be dangerous…"
"What about electrical?" The duke pondered quietly. "When I was a boy… I remember watching a mage summon a lighting bolt the size of an oak tree down out of the sky on demand… That used to set the bugs running…"
"Again, it would be a matter of contrast, if the location was good, and they were unprepared… yes, a large voltage would do damage…"
"No good." The dean vetoed the idea. "Without magic there is no way we can build a sustainable weapon for something like that… the fuel it would need would be impractical, not to mention the size of the dynamo…"
"Very well… but in any case… if the recent experiment is any sign, it would be interesting to see what would happen if we could somehow combine that little heat-ray with a water gun…"
"Water is rather heavy to have to carry around…"
"You'll think of something, my dear, I have no doubts…" The duke stood and slowly stretched. "I for one am getting to old for this nonsense. I pray it will be over soon."
Finlay simply nodded. "Get some rest, Mr. Kuja… we'll collect you for dinner, there should be no complaints with you leaving by then."
"I should hope not, this place is rather tedious." Waving a hand around at his tiny little room, he allowed himself a bored sigh. "Back to my nap I suppose."
Kuja made a show of settling himself into the bed for his friends benefit, but once they were gone he couldn't help but stay awake. Fragments of rhymes and stories drifted through his head as he watched the ceiling, nothing bringing comfort for his loneliness.
"The only dependable thing about the future is uncertainty…"
The words sounded hollow in the little room. Something about them made him feel uncomfortable. He couldn't remember where he had heard the expression, maybe from Zidane, or one of the nobles of Treno. It wasn't something that inspired confidence. He hated not knowing what would happen. It was why he had spent his life always planning, plotting out every possible branching the future could hold. In the end it had been a futile process, too many random elements that he couldn't have taken into account, most of them having to do with his infuriatingly footloose sibling. Zidane barely planed ahead enough to know how he could pay for his next meal, much less anything more ambitious. It was rather unfair how easily he unwound the years of work.
// If… //
// If I were Zidane… I would follow after him… whether he wanted me to or not… //
He smiled bitterly.
// But I am not Zidane… so why even try and pretend that I am…? //
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Clay pretended interest in the conversations around him, attending his third official dinner in so many weeks. The young general made sure to smile at all the right moments, but his mind was elsewhere. Stories of the Kai and his first victory on the Line were not what he needed right now. They only served to remind him that it was /his/ army out in the field, /his/ men fighting to take back another few miles of land. He had no doubts that the warlord would next turn his attention to claming yet another tower, following Ibat-kai's lead in trying to clear a zone of land where the Selwe could not penetrate.
// Clear sky… a hole in the net big enough to fit an army under… or even a country… a small one… and you could look up… and see clear sky… //
Even if he wasn't proud of the Kai, he was proud of his men. It was a small but crucial difference. The thought only reminded him of his current hobby, a little task that kept him entertained whenever he wasn't busy with official business.
Craning his head slightly as if stretching, he caught sight of the familiar silver-white flash of braid. Mr. Kuja was still speaking quietly with a set of guild members, illustrating his point with occasional elegant gestures. It was easy to keep him just in sight, studying him as he went about his business unawares. So far his research hadn't revealed anything truly remarkable about the delicate man, but he couldn't shake the feeling that there was something not quite right. The general returned to his conversation, only making his excuses when the courtesan moved out of sight.
Maneuvering through the glittering crowds took a little time, but standing where Kuja had a moment before, he could spot him once again. Seated beside the duke, the pale man's smile was flirtatious. Clay grimaced at the thought. There were some things he really didn't want to know about. Looking around for a distraction, he noted that the man had abandoned both his glass of wine, and small collection of snacks to be collected by a servant. Neither item looked as though it had been taken seriously even with the long reception before dinner. Kuja didn't seem hungry. Telling his own stomach to be patient, the soldier smiled grimly.
// Picky eater are we, Mr. Kuja? // From what he could tell, the slender man had skipped lunch as well.
// Or maybe he starves himself to maintain his delicacy… I've known female courtesans who did much the same… //
It was a mystery and like all mysteries he felt confident that when he had gathered enough evidence, he would unravel it. He would find out something about the courtesan that would turn public-opinion against him, and maybe against Nazer-kai as well. No one was a good as they pretended to be. There was no such thing as a real hero.
// I'm watching you, Mr. Kuja… eventually I'll know all of your secrets… //
When the call to dinner was finally made, he made sure to sit as close as he could to the important nobles at the head of the table. The courtesan was dining in his usual place beside the duke. Carefully sandwiched between the old statesman and the sour-faced college dean, he was well protected. Clay watched him, making mental note of who he talked to, who he flirted with, what he ate. It was more interesting then talking to the newlyweds to his left, and they seemed to prefer their own company.
Keeping watch as he was, it was easy for the soldier to guess the meaning when after dinner the slender man whispered something in his friend's ear and stood to leave. It wasn't uncommon for people to retire early from the long dinners. Slipping into the shadows beyond the long tables, Kuja followed his pattern from every evening before, slipping back to his rooms while the young men of the court settled in for more serious gaming and drinking. The dean slid over, claiming the empty seat to continue her discussion with the ancient duke. No one noticed when Clay briefly smiled at his neighbors and made his own excuses.
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There weren't that many paths to take between the banquet hall and the residential wing. Clay hadn't been fast enough to see which staircase the courtesan had taken, but it was a safe bet that if the man was tired, he'd take the easiest path possible. The fact that it would also be the quietest route would only make it more appealing. Pausing at the end of the hall, he ducked behind a convenient drape and took a look. A little ways down, the hall way opened up into a sort of mezzanine, catching the breeze from the evening beyond. Kuja was resting against the stonework, unaware that he was being watched.
If he had wanted to confront the pallid man, it would have been the perfect opportunity. The soldier found himself watching instead, waiting to see what he would do when left to himself. Unfortunately the silent moment was broken by heavy footsteps on the staircase at the other end of the hall. Clay recognized the new arrival as one of the King's distant cousins, and a rather drunk one at that.
// A secret assignation…? I don't know if it's scandal worthy, the man /is/ a courtesan after all… but if rumors got back to Nazer-kai… or his friends, it would make his lover's stay at court a little less friendly… //
The scholar however seemed just as surprised as he was at the interruption, looking away from his balcony with a frown. Curious, the soldier moved closer, careful to keep himself unseen.
"Hullo Masa…" Not seeming to understand that he wasn't wanted, the slurring man joined the courtesan at the window.
"That is not my name."
"It's what Nazer calls you…"
"What he does should have no bearing on you, sir." Crisp and impersonal, Kuja's scorn was obvious. The young nobleman was either too self-absorbed, or too intoxicated to care.
"… awww don't be like /that/… Not when I'm just trying to talk to you…"
"I don't feel well, good night my lord."
The soldier raised an incredulous eyebrow. It wasn't often he witnessed such an utter brush off. Having been on the receiving end once or twice he had known when to admit defeat and try his flirting somewhere else. Kuja's companion seemed to have other ideas however. The courtesan's retreat was halted when he found himself caught by the elbow and spun around again. Furious, he glared at the hand that held him and up at his pursuer.
"Unhand me."
"Mean little thing, aren't you… Is that how Nazer likes them? With a little fight in them?" The nobleman shook his captive to emphasize his question. "You look even prettier when mad, gorgeous… and I really don't care about the price. Whatever it is, I'll pay…"
"You…" Blue-eyes flashed with rage, but whatever he was about to say was halted, reconsidered.
"Me?" Seeming to think he had scored a victory, the well-dressed lord bent down as if to steal a kiss. He was halted by a firm hand on his chest.
"For a man of your quality sir, there is no amount that could possibly be enough." The courtesan's heel snapped down sharply on the taller man's foot, causing him to release his hold in surprise. Kuja wasted no time, walking quickly away.
For his part, the young general could only smirk at the interplay. His original desire to sniff out a scandal had been momentarily put aside in favor of watching the stuck-up courtier get what he deserved. Nazer-kai's lover had balls, he gave the man that much. He hadn't expected such loyalty from the small scholar. It was something he would need to add to his notes.
"And where do you think you're going?" Not as drunk as he originally seemed, the young lord stopped hopping and quickly moved to recapture his prey. This time instead of holding for the silver-haired man he chose to simply grab him by the collar, hauling him off balance and into the wall. Clay stood up, surprised. An illicit affair was one thing to witness, outright assault was something else. The courtesan's pained cry wasn't loud enough to bring a guard, and with the banquet in full swing it was unlikely that anyone else would come along in time to stop things from getting out of hand.
"Let go…" There was only anger in the soft voice.
Expecting fear or at least tears, the nobleman looked down in surprise. "Or you'll do what?"
"Whatever I have to…" When the tall man stooped for his kiss this time, he was met with a stinging slap. The general didn't really want to see how far the drunkard would take it, striding down the hall to intercept as Kuja wrestled with his attacker. He was about to reach out to pull the man off, when the courtesan managed to suddenly free an arm, and lunged forward, pushing the larger man off balance. Two graceful jabs later, he used the nobleman's furious momentum against him, catching by ankle and belt and sending him tumbling into one of the ornamental potted plants. The pedestal and fern crashed down around the courtier with a loud crash.
// If the guards didn't hear /that/… they're not just asleep, they're dead. //
Seeing that Kuja was no worse than flustered, he bent to investigate the loser of the fight. The man had knocked his head badly against the planter, but had gotten no worse than he deserved. When he came to his ego would be the most damaged thing about him.
// Still… the little thing is stronger than he looks… //
The guards were jogging up the stairs, but even with the commotion the pale man remained calm. He was carefully checking his sleeve for rips, knotting off broken strands of embroidery before they pulled out further.
"You alright?"
"Yes…" Seeming to notice him for the first time, the courtesan smiled at him. He looked justifiably tired and strained. "… It seems I am in your debt."
"But I…" The guard captain, having overheard looked at the three of them, courtesan, noble and soldier, and sighed in annoyance.
"Mr. Kuja, General Gerrik… I'm sorry that this… /gentleman/ has caused you any trouble. I trust sir that you'll want to personally see Mr. Kuja escorted safely back to his quarters?"
// He thinks I… of course, Nazer-kai has the entire army in his back-pocket… they'll all assume I swung in to the rescue for my darling Kai's… lover. //
The word still left a sour taste in his mouth. Making sure not to show his annoyance, he stood and made a show of nudging the prone man with his foot. "See that the Duke is informed of this one's misbehavior tonight?" He looked up, noting how the courtesan was leaning against the wall again, looking as frail and defenseless as ever.
"Yes sir!"
// … Being seen as being an ally to the Kai may not be a bad thing… I'll discover more sooner if people feel they can trust me to be discrete… but why would Kuja deliberately allow them to believe that it was /I/ who felled the 'giant'… //
Deciding to leave the issue for another time, he stood up and courteously offered his arm. It seemed Nazer's companion wanted to play the 'swooning victim' and he couldn't see why he shouldn't indulge him. If playing little games was all it took to gain entry into the too-beautiful man's inner circle, he wasn't going to refuse. "Come sir, you look tired. Lean on me a while."
"I am in your debt, general."
Once again he was thrown by the almost female nature of the courtesan. The man's profile was hardly masculine at all, especially when several locks of hair had been knocked loose in the fight to hang gracefully around his chin. There were dark shadows under the eyes that he had never been close enough to notice before. "Perhaps I should call you a doctor…"
"That will not be necessary…"
They paused outside the ornate door to the Kai's suite. He couldn't shake the feeling that Kuja was watching him, waiting for the question he had to ask. "… Why… back there…"
"Better you than me, don't you think?" Closing his eyes, he rested against his door. It was hard to believe that beneath the almost sickly exterior lurked strength capable of flipping a grown man to the ground. If he hadn't seen it, he too would have assumed it had been he who had ended the fight. "I am tired…"
"You miss him." He kicked himself, not knowing why he had spoke the way he had. It was one thing to respect your enemies, it was far more dangerous to emphasize with them.
The courtesan smiled serenely. "Oh yes, like a missing limb… But you… You don't…"
"Me?" Clay felt cold, wondering if he too had been observed while he had spent his weeks watching.
"… No matter… I think you will find your welcome at court to be far warmer tomorrow than it has been previously…"
"Because I'll be known as a 'rescuer'…?"
"It's better than being known as the man who was left behind…"
"I guess it is, yes…" Not knowing what to say, the general bowed and left. It was unsettling to think that the debt he had hoped to claim against the silvery man was now one he owed instead.
// … No wonder the old skeleton likes him. They're both manipulative bastards… It will be fine… This can still be turned to my advantage… //
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mmmm, gotta respect a man named Clay.
-Lunar.