Perpetual Existence
Chapter Fourteen—Bang, Bang
The Place Between
For the first time in years, I fall into a deep sleep, but only after gathering a slumbering Bella into my arms. The soft weight of her body comforts me and brings me a sense of contentment I had never felt before.
I question my vision a while later, as everything around me seems to be blurred, as if a film coats my eyes and prevents me from seeing things as they are. Bella is no longer sleeping on top of me; her long hair isn't draped across my chest. Anxiety has me spinning in circles, searching for her.
"Bella!" The sound of my voice is muted and indistinct. I see her silhouette walk toward me, her figure as familiar as my own. I run to her, desperate to feel her touch. Whatever is happening, she alone holds the answers. The moment my hands touch her, she becomes more distinct. My beautiful Bella. "What's happening?"
She cocks her head and smiles up me, but it's filled with fear. "The walls are crumbling."
"The bubble that we're stuck in, is that what you mean?" It makes sense, now that we're in sort of a time distortion bubble.
She nods and looks over her shoulder. "I can hear the others; that means something."
"Where are we now?"
She fists her hand in my shirt to pull me closer. "I needed to show you what's wrong." Her hands lift to cover my ears. "Listen with your mind. Become what you are."
I growl, shaking my head and capturing her wrists between my fingers. "Not here. It's the only place I can be with you, truly be with you."
"If the wall crumbles and you're not strong enough, I will likely die by Death's influence. There will be no more do-overs."
She pulls away as tears start to fall down her cheeks. "Keeping this up is killing me. Soon there will be nothing left of my mind, of me. Only a shell."
A whimper falls from my lips as I go to her, but before I can touch her again, she lifts her head up and screams.
It's not a dream, but a nightmare.
.
.
.
The 25th Monday
I gasp awake on the stairs of my family home, realizing that, at most, I have a handful of cycles to find the strength to initiate Bella's change, somehow prevent a war with the Quileute after they learn of what I've done, and stop Bella from disappearing forever.
"Edward?" Alice stands at the foot of the stairs, and her husband is quick to join her. It takes considerable control not to tear him apart.
Jasper senses my rage but doesn't step back, knowing that a move like that would provoke the beast within me. "What have I done to deserve such anger toward me?"
My shoulders sag under the weight of what I've done and what I still have to do. A sound reverberates around the room, only to find it's coming from me. My family surrounds me in one blink of my eyes.
I tell them not to ask any questions as I explain the perpetual hell Bella and I have lived in for what seems like weeks. Their reactions to my story run the gauntlet of emotions.
"Someone needs to go to the borderline and see if anyone other than Bella and Edward is allowed to leave the area." Carlisle paces away from me, his mind running a thousand different scenarios as mine has since this all started.
Jasper shakes his head. "Edward said that we've been as far as Seattle. What if the farther we travel from Forks, we weaken the distortion? It could break, and then we'd only have one chance of her survival."
I stop breathing as a thought runs through one of their minds. "I think you're right, Emmett."
My brother shrugs as the others look at him. "If the walls break with no solution, she'll probably die."
Rosalie sighs and heads toward the stairs. "Well, that's all figured out. Let it break and we'll be fine."
"But Edward won't." Esme's words cause the rest of my family to turn to me for confirmation. "She's his mate."
I nod and watch as her face lights up then falls as realization sinks in; she knows I could lose her.
"There's more besides Bella at risk." I glare at Rosalie. "The wolves are outside of the bubble; I can hear their thoughts at times, even now, though they're nowhere near me. From what I have caught, their small pack has doubled in size in the last few cycles, too."
We're aware that impending danger from their natural enemy triggers some young Quileute to shift. Could the current phenomenon be the cause? Or could it be something else?
"What does that mean?" Emmett folds his arms over his chest, his jaw twitching. "Are you saying outside the loop time is moving normally?"
"I believe so." My mind whirls with possibilities. "Imagine the consequences of the town in which we live in, suddenly can't be contacted, no one can come in or out."
"The Volturi would be quite interested in the fact that the town, in which the second largest coven of vampires, suddenly can't be reached." Jasper runs a hand through his hair, his southern drawl more evident; both a sign of his mounting fear. "It could explain the new shifters."
"Still, we should see if something happens if we try to head to the border." Carlisle stands in the middle of our family, having convened in the living room. "We won't go past the border, but we need them to understand this is something that's inadvertently affecting us, too."
"I don't think they can see inside the loop, only that when they reach the affected area, they lose time and have no idea what happened or why." The voices Bella allowed me to hear earlier were jumbled, but they were starting to make sense.
"What's the answer here? Keep her alive for one entire day?" Rosalie appears unfazed by the task at hand. "How much trouble can one, stupid, human girl get into?"
Alice shakes her head as I picture exactly how much trouble Bella can get into. "According to Edward, a lot. She's been hit by a car, car accident, stung by a bee, electrocuted, and you've also broken her neck, Rosalie."
My sister grins. "Explains why I'm getting those looks from you, dear brother."
I shrug, unable to lie in the face of the truth. It can take years before forgiveness allows me to forget the image of already hurting Bella falling victim to Rosalie's cruel hands.
"Did I kill her, too?" Jasper takes one look at me and now understands why I'm still angry with him, and nods. "More than once I take it."
"Yes." I move away before I'm tempted to hurt him again. The sound of her bones cracking in his hand is something I will hear every time I see him for a long time. "There's a shadow, possibly an Angel of Death, which is following her around. She believes it's been with her since she prevented her death months ago. It can't move on until it completes its mission."
I quickly explain how she was supposed to have died in the same car accident of her mother and stepfather.
"Angels of Death are real?" Emmett motions that his mind is blown, but the rest of my family looks at him in disbelief. "What? Vampires and werewolves are one thing, but angels are a different matter. They've been around longer than our kind."
Esme closes the distance between us. She cradles my face in her hands, searching my eyes. "You love her."
"I do."
She seems satisfied and nods. "That settles it. We are going to help them, and whatever happens, we'll figure it out together."
The others, including Rosalie, agree.
The phone rings unexpectedly, the only other time it happened in the previous loops was when Bella committed suicide. I don't bother to explain and run out the front door; Alice has already foreseen my reaction.
Sirens wail as I approach the back of the Swan home, and immediately, I stop breathing just in case. Charlie is upset—his weapon had discharged when he dropped it before leaving for work; Bella had been on the stairs.
A gurney is being lifted into an ambulance, but I don't dare to go near it. She's not dead; I can make out the fast beat of her heart. One of the EMTs goes over her status in her head as she climbs into the back of the ambulance. The bullet missed Bella's artery by only a few centimeters.
I answer my cell phone when it vibrates; it has to be Alice.
"She's going to make it." She sounds unsure.
"What's wrong?" Other than everything, I keep to myself.
"I see that she's fine in a hospital bed after surgery, she wakes up and sees you, smiles, and then nothing."
"That's it?" There has to be more. "Meet me at the hospital, please. I need to see the vision." If the shadowy figure is present in it, I have no doubt something ridiculous will kill her, if not me.
I love her.
I love her.
I love her.
It's time for me to stop fighting what I am and work together with the beast inside me and set us free from this perpetual existence.
AN: Thanks to MC for her help with the chapter. I returned from my trip out to AZ mid-week last week, and I'm getting ready for the annual camping trip this Thursday (send help). So much to do, this fic is almost coming to an end. I can see it all clearly, hoping that it stays that way over the rest of the week. I had to double check, but yes, they've repeated the day 25 times. That's insane. They're going to hate Mondays after this, lol.