Two Weeks Later

Brianna's POV

Did I really say anything all that bad? Was it really all that shocking? She had to know I wouldn't be thrilled about it. Why did she think I would be? Was it because I had been with Javi? That was different, wasn't it? She had to know it was different. I was older than her, not by much, but still. I wasn't 18 when I started dating Javi. Kevin was 11 years older than her. He wasn't going to be satisfied with her for very long. She couldn't be naive enough to think that. Could she?

I couldn't understand her, but more than that, I couldn't understand him. Why would he even consider dating her? He had given Javi and I such a hard time, so why would he think it was okay with her? It was so much worse. Katie was just beginning her life; she wasn't ready for this. How could she be? This would only end bad for them. Katie couldn't see it because her judgment was foggy because of her attraction to him. Just like mine had been with Javi.

It hurt thinking about him. I missed him terribly, but this was good for the both of us. Good for me because...well there were reasons. Yeah. Plenty of reasons. A lot. Too many, really. It was good for him, because I wasn't good for him. I fucked up and got him shot. He could have died because of me. I shivered every time I thought about it.

I looked at my phone sitting on my lap. A picture of him and I was set as the background. The picture was actually taken before we were dating. We never took a picture while were dating. I never knew why. We just never got around to it. I smiled, looking at the picture. On my 21st birthday Javi wanted to take me out drinking, he didn't take no for an answer. We went out with Kevin, Kate, Castle, and Lanie. I don't know why, but we decided to take a picture to commemorate the night. I looked a little too laid back, and he was clearly buzzed. His arm slung around my shoulder and our faces pressed against each others. Even though we hadn't started dating at that point, we looked too comfortable next to each other.

It wasn't the alcohol that made us comfortable. It had always been that way. Since the day I had met him, I felt sort of like I already knew him. I was able to be blunt without fear of him being offended. It worked both ways. He would put me in my place when I needed it and I wouldn't get overly emotional about it. I knew it was coming from a caring place.

I looked at the picture, and his chocolate eyes bored into mine. The smile that made me heart melt was looking me right in the face. I couldn't stop looking at it. It was like I was in a trance. He always made me feel that way. Every time his hand held mine or when he would sweetly lay kisses to my forehead and neck. I closed my eyes. Sometimes if I thought about it hard enough, it was like he was there and it was actually happening.

I groaned and took another swig of the tequila I had been drinking. With Katie away, I could just loosen up and do whatever it is I felt like doing. Drinking was becoming a reoccurring thing. I always felt the need to numb my senses. Especially when I started thinking too much about Javi.

I regretted breaking up with him. I knew why I did it, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

My finger absently ran over my contact list.

'I did the right thing.' I reminded myself.

I scrolled through the names.

Breaking up with Javi something I couldn't change.

My finger stopped when I found his name.

He has probably gotten over me. Moved on found someone else. It had been nearly a month. Enough time for him to move on. Women looked at him all the time. His wound was probably healed. So maybe he was now able to go out drinking and find random skanks to take back to his place.

'Don't press his name.' I pleaded with my index finger.

If he was with someone then good for him. He deserved to be happy. To have someone there to... I didn't finish that thought. I was looked down at the bottle and realized I was running low and I wasn't ready to stop. I got up and nearly fell over. The room was spinning.

I stood up, and shook my head. I needed to make a liquor run. I scrambled through my purse to find my keys. Too many things were in there, so I dumped it. My keys fell out in front of me and I grabbed them.

Javi could have all the sex he wanted with whoever he wanted, even Lanie. Especially Lanie. I harshly wiped a tear that was rolling down my face. I jerked the door open and slammed it shut as I walked out.

It was far too dark to find my car, so I hit the remote, making my light flash. I quickly made it to my car, only falling once. I steadied myself once I got in to the car. Drinking and driving wasn't smart, but I figured I could handle it. I was a great driver. Not walking was necessary, so I was going to be okay behind the wheel. The liquor store wasn't far and I wasn't that drunk.

Out of nowhere, I heard a voice telling me to get out of my car and go back inside. I ignored it as I started the car. I tried my best to keep my eyes forward.

Javi's POV

"Okay, I can't do it. I just can't!" I swiveled around in my chair to face Ryan. "Kill me! Just do it already!"

"Calm down." He didn't even turn around to face me.

"Calm down? How?"

"Just be glad you're here."

"Stuck behind a damn desk and doing paperwork? Come on!"

"So am I." He sighed.

"Yeah, until you get a call, and then you'll be gone and I'll still be here." I knew I was acting a bit childish, but I couldn't take being chained to a desk all day. I should be out with the team, tackling people. I wasn't meant to be stuck behind desk.

Ryan turned around in his chair. "Bro, you know this only temporary." He patted my arm. "You're still a vital part of this team; don't forget that."

I didn't care. I groaned, feeling constrained.

"Listen," Ryan started moving his chair closer to mine so nobody would overhear us. "I know you are mad about getting shot and mad about not being able to..."

"What?" I interjected. "I'm not mad because I got shot. I'm mad that these damn people won't let me do real work." I gave an officer a look of pure hatred as they walked past.

"You're not mad you got shot?"

"No, why?"

He narrowed his stare. "Why not?"

I shrugged. "I made that decision and I don't regret it. I knew I was going to get shot, but I did it anyways, why would I be mad?"

His facial features softened. "Wow. I thought there might be some anger you were holding on to."

"There is, just not about that. How could I? If I didn't do what I did, well Bri..." I swallowed thickly, not wanting to think about what could have happened. That night could have changed everything; walking away with a gunshot was welcomed.

"No, I get it, bro." He patted my arm again. "You did the right thing. No doubt."

I nodded. I did do the right thing. I would do it all over again if I had to. I stopped thinking about it; I couldn't allow myself to think of her. It was too exhausting to go down that road, and it just made me miss her more, which I didn't think was possible at this point.

"Detective Ryan?" My attention was diverted by Officer Banks.

"Yes?" Ryan shot his gaze his way.

"Can I speak to you for a minute?"

"Hey, Jake." I greeted.

"Espo." He gave a nod before he and Ryan walked away.

I shook my head as I looked around. "Alone again." I sighed, turning back to the file on my desk.

I hated being stuck behind the desk, but I was actually thankful to be able to back at the precinct. Being stuck at the apartment was the worst. I didn't know how people could just sit on the couch and watch TV all the time. If it wasn't a game, it wasn't worth it. I wanted to be out in the world, socializing. Unfortunately, I didn't get to do that here, because everyone else got to go when there was a call about a body. It was pretty sad that I missed the sight of a dead body.

"Javi," Ryan approached my desk. "You need to come with me."

"Gladly." I was all for getting away from the bullpen.

I followed him into the break room. "What's up?" I asked confused.

"Something has happened."

"What?"

He gave me a wary look before speaking. "Bri was just brought in."

I flinched a little at her name."What's that mean?"

"She was arrested." He said with a sigh.

I was slightly confused. Did I hear him wrong? "What did you say?"

"You heard correct."

"Why?"

"DUI."

How in the hell was that possible? She wasn't stupid. "You sure?"

Ryan nodded. "Banks made the arrest himself."

"She in holding?"

He nodded and looked out the window, seeing if anyone was coming. "Listen Javi, I don't think there's anything we can do for her."

I tapped my fingers on the counter. "That might not be a bad thing."

"What?" He whipped his head to me quickly.

"Maybe she needs to deal with this on her own." She wouldn't get too bad a deal out of it.

He narrowed his eyes on mine. "You are angry. Angry at her."

I didn't respond to that. "I should get back. Paperwork isn't going to do itself."

Brianna's POV

A weekend in lock up and a 90-day suspension of my license. Ugh. Why did I think drinking was a good idea? Clearly I wasn't thinking with my brain when I had started. I let my heart steer me that night. My stupid broken heart. I was actually kind of glad I was arrested. It served me right for being such an idiot.

I made a mental note to never drink alone again. Maybe never drinking again would have been a better idea.

I didn't remember being arrested, but I had been told that I was speeding and alerted an officer. I was thankful I wasn't stupid and tried resist in any way or worse. I could have gotten into an accident and injured someone. That would have made this whole ordeal even more mortifying and sickening to think about.

When I realized what precinct I was in, I had nearly had a panic attack right then and there. I knew my being there and the reason why would be brought to both Javi and Kevin's attention. Thankfully I didn't get a visit from either one of them. Not that I expected to, especially from Javi. He hated me. The DUI situation probably didn't help or maybe he just didn't care.

I hadn't talked to anyone about that night, not that I could if I wanted to. Katie and I hadn't talked since we had the fight about her and Kevin. I couldn't go to Kevin because he wasn't happy with me either, I guessed. And Javi, well, that wasn't an option either. Not that I wanted to talk to anyone about my failures anyways.

I had lost my car, which meant I had to start walking to work, which was very annoying because I didn't live really close. I didn't like riding in cabs, thanks to Javi and Kevin telling me horror stories about their encounters with cab drivers.

The walk there was always peaceful, but on the walk home I was reminded of all the perverts who lived in the city. On the nights I had to walk home, I hated the city and wanted to move where my closest neighbors were at least 30 miles away. That would never happen, of course.

Working at the dinner was so much better now. Derek had quit when he got another job. I couldn't have been more happier. I was getting very tired of his comments about everything that popped in his head. When he found out about Javi and I breaking up, he jumped at the chance to either make lame attempts to flirt or slam Javi. It was getting to be too much. I wanted to fire him, but he quit before I got to. I wasn't going to complain because he was gone and that's all I wanted.

I hired two waitresses, which seemed to be bringing in more costumers. Maybe not for the best of reasons, but still. It was great having someone there with me at all times. I hated working alone, which happened a lot when it was just Derek and I.

"Brianna, can I get off early tonight?" Lindsay, one of the new waitresses, asked.

"What for?"

"I have to pick up Robby from the sitter's. Is that okay?"

"Obviously." I waved her off.

"Thanks!" She excitedly jumped up and down.

"I'm surprised he lasted this long," I commented with a smile.

"Me and you both." She laughed. "See you tomorrow. Thanks again."

Lindsay was always really good at doing her job one-hundred percent. Sometimes she would even come in early and stay until closing. Unless, of course, she had to be pick up her son, which she rarely left earlier for, so I gave her some slack when it came to that.

She was always cheerful, which I sometimes felt spread to me without noticing it, until I caught myself humming and dancing around. I had caught myself doing it more often at home, which I guess was better than stressing. I owed Lindsay and her crazy optimistic attitude.

It was very cold outside tonight. I thought for sure I was going to get a cold walking home. "Half way there. You're half way there," I chanted through the bitterness of the wind. Soon I would have my license back and everything would be better. 'Not everything.' I quickly reminded myself. I wrapped my arms around my body, gritted my teeth, and sucked it up. I was the only one to blame for this.

I was walking rather fast, because the wind was cutting through my jeans and I thought I was going to get frostbite. A light appeared and I was sure was from headlights. I had gotten used to seeing them. I turned around, when the light stayed on me. The driver was going slow. There was very little snow, so I wasn't sure why they were moving at the speed of a snail.

I walked a bit faster, fearing the worst. Ever since the night Javi got shot, my mind wouldn't let me think rationally. Instead of thinking the person was lost, I was very certain I was going to have to fight off some weirdo before they tried to take me back to their home and lock me in their basement.

I groaned at myself and took a chance and looked behind again. The car had stopped. I started walking faster. What were they going to do? Come up behind me?

'Stop it! Just stop it! They clearly didn't stop because of you.' I lectured myself.

I turned down a side street,I didn't need to turn down. I kept walking and turning around every so often until my phone rang and nearly giving me a heart attack.

I quickly grabbed it and answered. "Hello?"

"Bri? Where are you?"

I barely made out what was being said. "Who is this?"

"It's Javi."

"Javi?"

"Where are you?"

I looked around confused. Confused by a lot. Why was he calling me? Why did he care where I was? Did he want to see me?

"Bri?" His voice broke through.

"I'm walking home from work."

"In a red coat?"

I looked down even though I knew he was right.

"How did you know that?"

"I just saw you."

I looked back finding nobody there. Was Javi the one in the car?

I walked back and turned the corner. "Is that you?" I asked, seeing a guy leaning against the driver's side of the car.

"Yeah. Want a ride?"

"Are you sure?"

"Why else would I be standing out here?"

He had a point. This could be a very awkward ride, but I was so cold. "Um, sure."

I hung up and quickly walked over. He pushed himself off the car and gave a small wave.

"Thanks for this."

"Almost overlooked you." He smiled. "Why'd you start walking faster?"

"I was... cold."

His eyebrows pulled together. "Sure, that's why."

I sighed. "I thought you were a weirdo."

"How nice."

"I didn't know it was you." I defended myself.

He motioned for me to get in and I quickly obeyed. When I got in I let out an embarrassing groan. The heat felt too good.

"You couldn't get a ride from the someone?" he asked, getting in and looking over at me.

"Maybe, if I asked."

He sighed. "You've been walking every night."

"Only the ones I work." I corrected.

He sighed. "Not anymore. Just call me, okay?"

I gave him a weird look.

"Or Katie. Or Ry." He shook his head at me. "Just call someone."

"I'll try." I half lied and I knew he saw through it.

"Whatever. Let's get you home."

I nodded.

Silence filled the car. It felt weird not having some sort of conversation going on between us. It used to be that we could communicate through looks, but now I felt like I was sitting next to a stranger.

Why was he being nice to me? Didn't he hate me?

I kept asking myself why he was even able to find me tonight. Why was he on this side of the city? He wasn't on duty, so it didn't add up. I didn't have enough courage to ask him, so I just pushed it to the back of my mind.

When we got to my place, I gave him a light smile.

"Thank you, again."

"My pleasure. Next time get a ride, okay?"

I simply nodded and reached fro the door handle. "Javi?"

"Yes."

I looked at him. "How'd you know I lived here?"

"What?" He asked.

"I moved here a little over three months ago. You haven't been here, so how'd you know?"

His eyes were on mine, so I noticed when they widened. He looked away out the windshield.

"Well?" I tried when I didn't get a reply.

"You should get inside, it's late." Was his only reply. I almost laughed. What made him think he could just avoid my question?

"You should answer my question."

He didn't say anything.

"Have you been stalking me?" I doubted that he was, but I figured I might get a reply if I accused him.

Still nothing. I sat back in the seat and put the seat belt back on. I would get it out of him.

"What the hell are you doing?" He observed me.

"I'm not getting out of the car, until you answer me." I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned back in the seat.

"You can't be serious."

He sighed when he realized I wasn't going to move and looked over to me. "Really? You're going to act like a child?"

I wanted to smile. I was getting to him. "Better than being a stalker."

"A stalker? I'm not a stalker."

I sighed. "How did you know where I lived?"

He shifted in his seat and looked at me. "I didn't stalk you, I swear."

I mirrored his position. "Okay, so?"

"So, I drove by the diner a few weeks ago. I was planning to talk to you, but," he hesitated and wouldn't look at me. "I lost my nerve."

I nodded, understanding what he meant. He was looking out the windshield. "So?"

"So I thought, I might be able to work up the courage if I could get you alone."

I nodded. "You followed me home, but still couldn't say anything?"

He shook his head. I could tell he was a little embarrassed.

"Well that wasn't so hard, was it?"

He looked at me. "Very."

I laughed. "Was that the only time you followed me home?"

He nodded.

"Well that's not exactly stalking."

"I told you."

I nodded. "I know." We sat there quietly. I wasn't sure what to do or say. "So what did you want to talk about?"

"Just to talk."

"About?" I pressed.

"Really, you want to do this here?"

I looked around. "Yeah, you're right." I reached for the door handle after unbuckling my seat belt. "Why don't we go inside?" I pointed to the door.

"Really?"

"Yeah," I shrugged. "I mean, if you want to. Your choice."

"Um," he looked at me and bit his lip before answering. "I want to."

"Good. Let's get inside fast; it's really cold."