'I'm scared,' Mason said. He was at the kitchen table, playing with the toy soldiers Tony had bought for him. Tony was making dinner, and Michelle was in the living room, attempting to tidy it after Mason had strewn most of the contents of a hundred piece puzzle box across it.

Mason seemed to have mostly got over his jealousy of Tony, but if he noticed them speaking, or looking at each other, he seemed to gravitate toward Michelle with a question or a request that drew her attention back to him. Michelle found it adorable, Tony found it endearing, and they both seemed more than ever to want to please him as much as they could without spoiling him.

'No need to be scared,' Tony said. He was making some sort of chicken dish with rice and went to grind some pepper over the skillet.

'Yeah but...I am,' Mason said. He made an explosion sound with his mouth and knocked a couple of the soldiers down. Tomorrow was the play his class had been rehearsing. It required him to deliver two lines on his own and he seemed very concerned about it.

Tony came over to him and placed a strong hand on his shoulder.

'No matter what happens,' he said, 'even if you get it all right, or end up being funny and messing up the lines, your mum will be there to see you. She'll be very proud of you.'

Mason nodding, not meeting Tony's eye. He flicked another solider down.

'You're coming too?' he asked after a moment. Tony looked back at him.

'No,' he told him. 'I'm sorry. I can't.'

'You can,' Michelle said suddenly. She had appeared quietly in the kitchen, startling them both. 'If...if you aren't busy, you can come.'

Things had been almost worse than ever between Tony and Michelle since the Saturday morning she'd told him, in no uncertain terms, that there was no hope for them. They'd barely even spoken at all, nothing more than a comment or request over dinner. There had been plenty of looks though; unsure looks from Michelle, incensed ones from Tony. On the whole, they were carefully avoiding each other and another confrontation. They were stuck in a sort of limbo, one that suited neither of them.

Tony was surprised by Michelle's generous offer. She'd been worked hard to avoid the topic of the play with him. He was sure she had forbidden him to come, even if it was just a decision she'd made in her head.

The play was the next night, and though Tony and Michelle arrived separately, they sat together. Mason made his appearance in a slapped together spacesuit costume, a colourful thing constructed from a cardboard box, and though he mumbled a little, he said his lines right. He ran to them outside the school hall later, looking delighted with himself, and asked if they could go to Tendelli's for dinner because he'd done such a good job.

'Yes,' Tony said, when Michelle hesitated to say one way or another. 'Because you were the best up there.'

'Yeah,' Mason said, punching the air. 'Pizza!'

The outing was stilted and awkward, though not for Mason, who seemed to have had a weight lifted from his shoulders now that the play was over. He more or less held court over dinner, talking excitedly at a rate Tony almost found shocking, and required very little input from either parent. Michelle watched him, feeling both heart warmed and despondent, and wondered what age he was going to be when he stopped talking one night, looked over the table at his parents and realised, for the first time, that they were both miserable.

His chatter continued all the way back to the apartment and it was only in the elevator that he seemed to be tiring out. Michelle let them all inside and closed the door, watching Mason fend off a yawn and ramble on to Tony.

'And the girls all had to wear pins in their hair like mum,' he was saying, 'but we didn't because we're boys and we have short hair – except Adrian. He's weird – and even though mine's curly it didn't matter because I was in the spacesuit. And remember when Jude – he's my friend – almost tripped on the light at the edge of the stage and he tried to pretend nothing happen, though I saw it. Did you see it? It was so funny. And then Annika – she's not my friend – got her dress caught on the vent thing behind the curtain and that's why she came on after she was meant to and I thought it was so funny. Did you see?'

Tony nodded.

'Did you see, mum?' He turned to Michelle.

She nodded. 'It's not nice to laugh at people, though,' she explained to him.

He chose to ignore her and turned back to Tony.

'It was pretty funny,' Tony agreed, though he hadn't actually noticed any of these things. He watched Mason closely, smiling at his enthusiasm.

'And my costume,' Mason said, his chest seeming to expand with pride. 'I helped make it in art. Actually, I made most of it. Actually, all of it. I cut the cardboard and put the lights on – I got paper plates for that – and you know the dial things? Well, I painted them. And I cut the arms hole and everything. It was so cool. Wasn't it, dad?'

For a moment, everything in the apartment froze. Everything seemed stuck. It was Mason who broke the moment, letting out a little giggle, shaking his head, his face indicating that he was chiding himself for saying something silly.

'I mean Tony,' he said, smiling contritely. He seemed to think he'd merely misspoke, as though it was a mistake anyone could make. He acted the same way he did when he said something in the past tense instead of the present, or when he couldn't pronounce longer words. He also seemed to think it was nothing and kept chatting away, smiling brightly.

Michelle had yet to take a breath. Tony couldn't move. They looked at each other at the same time, both expressions unreadable. Michelle then took Mason under the arms and put him in bed. He continued to talk at her, but she barely registered his words, and she hugged him and turned off the light and he seemed to think everything was alright.

Michelle remained in the corridor for a while, crying silently. For a moment, she didn't know which direction the living room was in. She eventually found Tony by the couch, staring at the floor.

'Y-you told him?' she asked, shoving tears from her face with the back of her hand.

'No,' Tony breathed.

'Well he knows!' she said. She knew her voice was verging on hysterical, and she struggled to get it back under control. 'How does he know?'

'He doesn't,' Tony said. 'He corrected himself. His mind is just confusing everything he's been taught about parents, everything he's picked up from TV and his school friends and he's starting to recognise that we're a family. He let it slip accidently because his head is telling him that's the right thing to call me, just the way his friends do to their fathers.'

Tony's eyes hadn't left the floor. He looked as disturbed as Michelle felt. He took a long, deep breath, feeling spectacularly upset. Michelle fished a tissue from her bag, trying to contain herself. They both stood there with no purpose, with nothing to do. Michelle had never been at such a loss before. It felt like several minutes passed, though in realty it was closer to an hour, before Tony spoke once more.

'I'm leaving,' he said.

Michelle nodded and turned toward the door.

'No,' Tony said, not moving at all. 'I'm leaving. For good.'

She spun around to look at him.

'W-what?' she asked.

He couldn't meet her gaze, his eyes dark, his face weighed down with despair.

'Tonight,' he said. 'You were right. You were right when you said I had to move on.'

His voice wasn't betraying much emotion, something that surprised him.

'But...' Michelle seemed to be searching herself for something to say. 'H-he's only had you a few weeks. That's not long enough.'

'It's been too long, really,' Tony said.

'No,' Michelle argued. 'You've barely had time to get close to him.'

She wiped tears from her mouth, taking unsteady breaths. She couldn't even categorise what she was feeling, couldn't even label it.

'It's too soon,' she said thickly. 'You've made progress with him. He's opening up to you. He feels happier with you. Don't take it away from him now.'

Tony watched her from the corner of his eye, feeling his heart tighten slightly with each of her tears.

'Just give him a little more time,' she pleaded. 'Don't obliterate the trust you're building in him.'

But Tony shook his head.

'We can't do this,' he said gruffly. 'We can't make nice for him only to take it all away in a few months time. I have to leave now, before he makes more assumptions in his head. I won't do it to him. I won't become a memory he holds onto. I want to leave now while it's easy for him to forget.'

Michelle just stared at him. She knew she should be agreeing. She couldn't understand why she wasn't.

'And you were right about us,' Tony said. 'Of course you were. We...we can't do this. We can't be like this with each other. It'll destroy his home. He might be a kid, but he's not stupid. He can feel it, just the same as we can. It's got to be now.'

'Where will you go?' she asked.

He shook his head. 'Anywhere. It doesn't matter. I don't give a fuck, really.'

'He's going to be so upset,' Michelle murmured, more to herself than him. She sniffed back more tears, but they surged forward anyway. 'He's going to miss you so much.'

'Tell him something,' Tony said. 'Make up some lie that I had to move away. And then reaffirm in him that his father has been dead all long. Make him remember that lie. Separate me from it, so he doesn't confuse us, and keep him believing it.'

Michelle didn't know how to respond. She felt as though all the life was draining from her. She could do nothing but stare at him through the darkness.

'I...I've paid off your mortgage,' he admitted. 'This place is yours forever, if you want it. You own it now.'

Michelle held back a sob at this.

'And keep the money, okay? I've a little more, and I can make it easily. So use it. Get Mason everything he needs and then, for Christ sake, get everything you need. I want you to have it.'

Neither of them said anything for a very long time.

'I know what I've done is unforgivable,' he said softly. Michelle blinked at him. She'd never heard him speak remorsefully about his actions before. 'I know I hurt you...destroyed you really. And I tried to destroy others. If I could take it all back, I would. If I could do the time over, I'd honour you, not disgrace you. But it's done. I can't erase it. I can't pretend it hasn't happened. I was driven insane...you have to understand. I didn't know what to do. Didn't know how to face my pain...'

He shoved his hand over his head, casting around, not wanting her to see his emotion.

'Will you hug him before you leave?'

He shook his head. He seemed to know the act might kill him.

'I gotta go,' he said, moving suddenly to the door.

'Wait!' Michelle said. She came toward him desperately, but stopped herself. She wasn't sure exactly what she would have done but she felt almost furious that she had managed to prevent it. He looked at her, understanding her turmoil.

'Please take care of yourself,' he said urgently. They were quite close, hardly more than a foot apart. 'Don't neglect your health. It worries me. Every fucking day it worries me.'

He opened the door and moved over the threshold. She moved with him. She wanted him to kiss her. She wanted him to grip her face in his hands and seal his mouth over hers. She wasn't ashamed of it. But he didn't, and in the next moment he was gone.

Reviews are good. Hate letters are welcome. It's all opium to me.