Disclaimer, I do not own anything in reference to Inuyasha.

Wild Heart

Chapter 14: Our Wild Hearts, Justified

Disappointment wracked through me, I had wanted to end that man. I could only hope that the spirit of the river would take my justice into itself and do it for me. Hen having swept away would make me paranoid for the rest of my life. I gave a lasting look to the now gentle ice-choked river and turned to Ginta who nodded, heading back to 'camp'.

I felt dead inside, nearly, that was. I couldn't believe all that had happened in such a short while, my anomalous change in character, my first killings, my best-friend dead.

What next.

Two pairs of baby blues came to sight and I was nearly run down by two pups.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, are you hurt?" I shook my head before kneeling. I was so tired. I hugged them to me, kissing their dirty faces.

"I'm fine. Papa will be here soon, don't worry." My voice was barely heard, for them, they would hear it fine; to me . . . it seemed far away.

Their little tails were wagging and their ears were perked up finally. I was glad I could reassure them. I couldn't reassure myself. So much in so little time and I felt so heavy. Just . . . so heavy. I felt a few tears slip out from my eyes and Haru looked up, that cut on his face tearing at my heart more. He put his tiny hand up to my cheek and wiped the tear away before Jiro hugged me around the neck.

"It's ok, you can cry. Shun said strong wolves cry." That was all it took, her name and the tears came back in waterfalls. I grabbed the boys up and hugged them close, trying my best to weep silently. These babies were mine now, the pack that was left was mine too. Kouga was . . . well, he wasn't mine but I had him. We had each other. I had a new home. A new life that wasn't dull or, well.

It still hurt. The losses from last night and the losses of now, it all hurt.

I light patting to my back grew my attention away from my sorrows and I looked up, the boys' lids half closed and their heat being shared between us. It was Kagome, a shining light in this grieving time.

"It's hard but, it'll get easier. I promise." She knelt down and hugged me too, the boys sniffling a bit. I felt that I should say something to her, but I had nothing to say. The tears were slowing down and I wiped them away as best as i could before standing up. The sun was higher, how much time had I wasted crying?

That's when the wolves came. They were running, some stopped at the camp area, others going straight up the trail to the Dens. My heart broke all over again to see their faces, sad, angry, confused, and frustrated. I saw some were happy, holding their mate in tightened arms, others just sat with blank faces. I looked and tried to find Kouga. I saw Hakkaku go to Ginta first, a white horse came trotting in. My father was on it.

What was he doing here? He saw me but stopped his horse and slid off, looking around with a hardened face. Did he see the same people I did?

"Kanon." I turned as Kouga's voice was the only thing registering now. His arms were around me and before I could say anything his mouth was smothering mine in a deep emotion kiss. I leaned into him, too numb to do anything else. He held me to him after his kiss, his embrace gentle. The boys were around us, at his legs, faces wrinkled, probably from his blood.

I could see Airi then, she had run to our father. He was holding her as if she were some child that had been lost, her face in tears. Kouga placed calm fingers to my jaw to get my attention back to him; I could feel their eyes on me as he pressed a small kiss to me again.

"Kouga . . . S-Shun . . . she is . . ." He kissed me again before letting out a sigh.

"I know. Hakkaku told me, as you asked him to." I shuddered,

"I didn't want you to be . . . unprepared . . . like I was." He held me tighter and I wondered about his wound.

"Ken was at the river. Ginta was with me. The river . . . it took him, it makes me feel sick. Sicker." I said it into his shoulder, his smell was calming. I heard footsteps behind me and new it was my father and Airi. Kouga nuzzled my head and I pulled away to look him in the face. His eyes were sad, that wild light was dim and it made my heart ache so much.

"Kanon, go home with your Father." I gripped him, the pain worse than ever.

"How can you say that to me?" I shook my head.

"No, Kouga. You look at me with Wolf eyes and tell me you don't want this battle to be mine. Stop seeing with man eyes, eyes that only see a single way and not the many ways a wolf does." My grip on his shoulders hurt me and I held my breath, I didn't care that my father could hear.

Kouga let a small slow smile draw upon his lips and he brought me near again, I let out my breath that I'd held, a little of the pain leaving, just a little.

"We are an odd pair, a snake and a wolf." I let out a small breathy laugh, a laugh that wasn't really happy.

"Only on the outside, Kouga. We are the same here." I patted his chest, looking down at the fur that covered his stomach. He pulled the sliced piece away to show perfect skin, a faint scar but nothing open. I didn't question it; it was too wonderful to do so.

A familiar rustling in my chest happened and I turned my head as a savage cough burst from my throat, sending a terrible tremble through my body. Kouga caught me and led me to the erected fire. I saw that Airi and my father were already there.

Kagome came to sit next to us; I saw Sango and Kirara heading towards the river. Kagome took my hand,

"Haru has the tea; he said that Shun gave them to him before she hid them." She gestured to the twin boys that were snuggling on the other side of Kouga. He was running his fingers through Jiro's unruly hair and talking softly to Haru. Haru seem to hear and he looked up to us before digging down the front of his pelt shirt and taking out a bag. It was the tea. He handing it to Kouga who set it in my lap.

"Sango went to get water." Kagome took the back and stood up, taken care of, I certainly was.

"Are you really going to stay?" I looked over to Airi, though my father was the one looking at me. I grabbed Kouga's hand, the dried blood ignored.

"Yeah, it's where I'm supposed to be." Airi rolled watery eyes, our father nodded however.

"What will you do?" His voice was sad but I had no more room for sadness, and certainly no room for regret. I looked to Kouga who was watching me with a subtly gentle expression, the boys falling asleep in his lap. I turned back to my father,

I think . . . I'll love while I'm here. Love and be loved,

"I am going to love while I'm here. Love a whole lot. Besides, if I leave then Kouga's sun isn't going to rise." A few pitted laughs were found around the campfire and I laid my head on Kouga's shoulder, I already knew he agreed. My father seemed to also like this answer, his eyes crinkled though. Kagome and Sango came back and soon I had drunk my tea. I hadn't meant to, but soon I fell into a dreamless sleep.

Kanon woke up stiff and rather fuzzy feeling. Her eyes were groggy and she felt like a film was over her skin. It was late evening by the looks of the light about and the wolves were passing around stew. She found that Kouga was still her pillow and the boys were missing. She rubbed at her eyes and upon opening found Kouga holding out a bowl for her. She took it gratefully, the warmth soothing to her.

She saw that Kagome and Sango were resting, Kirara curled between them. She gave a small smile to see Haru and Jiro cleaning each other's faces with rags.

Kouga got up after a nuzzle to her head and she watched silently as he left to the river. A presence filled next to her and she turned to see that her father was still there. He patted her hand before she took a sip of the delicious broth,

"They burnt most of their dead earlier. I felt that it was different in a way than the ways we do things but for them, I could see it was right." He was trying to tell her that he was attempting to see things in a better light rather than an always bad one. She patted his hand back; though she was a little agitated no one had woken her up.

"Your wolf, he never left your side. Isn't he important in this pack?" She opened her mouth but closed it. He hadn't left?

"He is their alpha . . ." She looked to her bowl. He wasn't there to say goodbye either? She bit her lip and looked back towards the river but she couldn't see him. She found that her sword was lying at her feet and she had a brief moment of wondering where Shun had gotten it from before the recognition of what Kouga had really done by staying. He had kept his word to never leave her side again.

The End