Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Over the next three months, Elliot dealt with the nightmares and the flashbacks associated with PTSD. Every day he would ask if she was ready to see a counselor and every day she would answer no. She had gotten tired of hearing ask and one night told him as much. He got the cold shoulder for a couple weeks afterward, but he never strayed when she had a nightmare or flashback. She was thankful he was there, but she wished he would understand that it is so hard to talk about what happened without a flashback invading her mind.

Olivia eventually had to do a psychological evaluation in order to return to work. Just talking to Huang had brought things she wanted to forget back to the forefront to her mind. After that, she quit talking to everyone. Needless to say, she wasn't cleared to return.

At her apartment, Elliot kept asking her different questions and she'd either shake or nod her head. He was getting frustrated with her not speaking. He asked her another question and she shook her head again. He slammed his hand down onto the table and she jumped.

"Dammit, Liv! You need to talk!"

She glared at him.

"Don't give me that look. While I love being able to speak to you without words, I need you to talk to me now."

She looked away from him, pulled her knees up to her chest, and wrapped her arms around them. She laid her head onto her knees, still looking away from him. He sighed.

"Liv, please look at me."

She ignored him. He huffed.

"Fine, call me when you're ready to talk. I'm going out."

Her head snapped up and he saw the terror in her eyes. The tears began to fall down her cheeks. He sat back down and reached over to take her hands in his.

"Baby, I'm sorry. I'm right here. I won't leave."

She nodded and he pulled her into his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck. He secured his arms around her, making sure she felt safe.

"You can't keep everything inside. You're going to have to talk about it eventually, Liv. It's been months and if you keep everything bottled, you'll never be able to go back to work no matter how bad you want to."

She sniffed and sighed.

"It hurts and it scares me to talk, El."

"I know, sweetheart, but he can't hurt you again. I'm right here with you."

"Yeah, but you're not in there with me. You're not allowed."

"That's because they're afraid I'll influence you. Plus, it's something that you have to do alone."

"I don't want to be alone. I don't want to talk. I just want it to go away."

"Baby, if you don't talk, it'll haunt you. It won't go away. It will fester until you can't stand it anymore, you know that. How many times have you told victims that?"

She looked at him and nodded. She knew that he was right.

"Talk to me, please."

She sighed.

"I got that call. I went to the hospital and took the vic's statement and the kit. On my way back to the car, someone called out to me. I turned and he tased me. I passed out. When I woke up, I was tied to a chair in a room. He was telling about his wife. He blamed you for her suicide. I told him that he should be going after the rapist and he said he already did. He showed me pictures of the body and what he did. He went into detail on how he handled the kill."

Olivia had tears in her eyes again. She was breathing hard. Elliot knew she was having a flashback. He tightened his grip on her.

"Baby, you're safe. You're here with me. Listen to me. You're safe."

Olivia held onto him tightly. Her breathing slowed down as she looked at him.

"El?"

"I've got you, baby. I'm right here."

She hugged him and he held her as she cried. Once she calmed down, she got back into her own chair, but still clutched one of Elliot's hands. She needed that connection to him to make sure she was still home and that everything wasn't a dream. Taking a deep breath, she began again.

"After I woke up, I was still tied to the chair. My wrists hurt so badly from the rope. He walked in and I glared at him. He told me that he was going to kill me after he had his way with me. He leaned in to kiss my neck and I head butted him. He started to untie my legs. After he finished untying my legs, I kneed him and broke his nose. I took off for the door. He grabbed me and I hit the floor. I kicked him and went to run again before he got on his feet and grabbed my arm and threw me on the bed. I hit the wall and was dazed. He untied my hands and I tried to swing at him. He grabbed my hands and pinned them above my head and tied them to the bedpost. He then opened my shirt and smiled. He grabbed my legs and tied them to the bed. He got back on me and kissed me. He then started sucking…and you know the rest."

When she'd finished, she noticed that he had started shaking.

"El, are you okay?"

He looked at her and nodded. He was so angry at what that bastard did to her. He almost wished he was alive just so he could kill him again.

"El, you're scaring me."

He looked at Olivia. She had concern in her eyes and all over her face. He definitely didn't deserve her or her love. He let that animal get to her when he was supposed to protect her.

"I'm fine."

His voice shook and Olivia knew that it wasn't true.

"Don't lie to me."

Elliot looked away.

"I don't deserve you."

"What?"

"I don't deserve you. I let this happen on my watch. I was supposed to protect you and I didn't. That bastard got you and he hurt you and I couldn't do anything. I was almost too late."

"Hey, no! Don't blame yourself! You deserve me! You deserve a lot more than me even! I love you and yes, he hurt me, but you got there in time to stop him from doing more! You saved me, Elliot! I love you so much!"

"I'm sorry, Liv. I love you, too. So much."

She got up and hugged him tightly. He hugged her back.

"I don't deserve more than you, Liv. I barely deserve you, but I'm glad that I have you."

She looked at him and smiled. He leaned in and kissed her. She kissed him back.

"Do you think you're ready?"

She grinned at him and nodded. He smiled and kissed her again.

AN: I apologize for the long wait. I had no inspiration to write. I've also been really busy. I hope you all enjoy this chapter though!