Marlene had awoken on the same damp and filthy floor of the second floor girl's lavatory, still entwined in the embrace of a pair of strong muscular arms. Her neck was slightly stiff from having rested at a less than ideal position but it was pressed firmly against the chest of her companion. She could feel his chest rising slowly with each breath and the sound of his heart beat was soft and soothing to her. She counted the beats silently in her head for a few moments before opening her eyes and lifting her gaze upwards.
Sirius was leaning against the wall behind him. His eyes were closed and he seemed to be at ease in what she could only assume was the most uncomfortable position possible. She allowed herself to stay curled in his lap as she rested her head back against his chest.
"Hey," he said quietly. Marlene felt her lip tremble slightly but she did not open her mouth to reply. She felt his hand reach up to stroke her hair once more in a comforting gesture and she felt herself pull him closer at his touch.
"I'm so sorry Marlene," he continued. A new wave of realization for what he was referring to brought fresh tears to her eyes. She felt her vision go momentarily blurry as the tears pooled but she refused to allow herself to lose control over her emotions again. The task seemed relentlessly unmanageable for her even if she wanted too as she was completely depleted of strength.
"Thanks," she finally managed to choke out. His grip on her tightened and she allowed herself to feel appreciative of the comfort he was trying to provide her. His hold was warm and welcoming and Marlene felt no desire to pull away but she knew that they had been hiding away in the bathroom for an immeasurable amount of time and she would need to face reality sooner rather than later.
"There's no rush," he said soothingly as if knowing what was going on in her thoughts. "I'm sure Lily has told Professor McGonagall where you are and they'll be expecting you when you're ready."
"I'm never going to be ready," Marlene managed to reply almost bitterly. Sirius gave her an empathetic squeeze. It appeared that he did not know how to respond to her.
"How long have we been in here?" she finally asked him once the silence had finally gotten to her. She pulled away from him slightly to look up into his face and noticed that he looked extremely tired.
"Quite a few hours I imagine," he said simply. "Classes are probably ending shortly."
"You didn't need to stay with me this whole time!" She felt guilty that, because of her, he had missed an entire day of school.
"Don't think for a minute that that nonsense is more important than your well-being," he looked alarmed that she had even suggested it. She felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude as she recognized his genuine concern.
"I don't want to face everyone," she didn't really know who 'everyone' was. Surely she would be fine with seeing her friends but even at the thought of Lily and Mary hovering over her shoulder, asking her if she was alright, their heightened emotions triggering a reprise in her emotions made her feel a wave of nausea flood over her. It was bad enough that Sirius had witnessed her in her weakest moment; she dreaded the thought of living it all over again amongst the rest of her peers.
He nodded his head in understanding. For a brief moment their eyes connected and she could detect a trace of pity in them before he looked away guiltily. "If we hurry we should be able to get there before classes let out."
Leaving the bathroom was a much harder task than Marlene had bargained for. Standing from the floor where they had been positioned for hours suddenly made Marlene aware of how uncomfortable she had been. Her entire body was aching and she concluded that part of it was in fact due to the extreme mental exhaustion that she had endured.
Sirius stood first and offered his hands to help steady her to her feet. She stumbled a bit as she realized that her leg was asleep but his steady grasp prevented her from tumbling over.
"Are you ready?" he asked timidly and Marlene glanced over towards the mirror on the long wall quickly to survey the damage. Her eyes were severely red and swollen; it was clearly evident that she had been crying hard for hours. Her hair was slightly disarrayed from the originally neat plaited bun she had been sporting earlier in the day and her uniform was slightly wrinkled.
Marlene turned away from the hollowed girl staring back at her and nodded slightly to Sirius. He helped guide her out into the deserted corridor where she was thankful to see that classes had, in fact, not yet been released for the day.
The walk was slow and quiet. Marlene hadn't any idea where they were headed as she had never visited the Headmasters office before. She wasn't entirely sure that that was where they were headed but she was too exhausted to ask him. Instead, she allowed him to direct her to an unfamiliar part of the castle and vaguely listened as he offered some sort of password to an inanimate gargoyle statue that she had never noticed before.
"I suppose I've been here recently," he said sheepishly even though she hadn't bothered to ask. The statue had sprung to life and revealed a long spiraling staircase upwards. Sirius indicated for her to proceed forward and followed closely behind as she made her way up the stone stairs.
They were standing in front of a large oak door. Sirius stepped ahead of her and knocked loudly. She was barely paying attention when they were ushered in, the large door closing loudly behind her. Her focus immediately set on the intricate display of portraits surrounding the tall and magnificent room. Dumbledore's office was quite breathtaking and Marlene was shameful to admit that, under different circumstances, she would have been fascinated to spend hours observing its brilliance.
"Ahh Miss McKinnon," she could hear him say quietly. There was a tone of empathy lining his voice. "My deepest condolences for your loss."
Marlene lost focus again. She was too intrigued with a portrait of a large man snoozing in a red velvet armrest to pay much attention to the conversation that Sirius was having with their headmaster.
"Marlene," Sirius tapped her shoulder lightly a few times before she blinked from her gaze at the portrait and turned her attention to look at his face. He looked sad and a momentary irritation flared up in the pit of her stomach before she was able to remind herself that he had been nothing but helpful. Still, his pity was a good reminder of exactly how she was going to be treated by everyone else she came into contact with.
"What?" she asked a little ruder than she had intended. She didn't bother to apologize but Sirius looked unfazed.
"Your Uncle Tom is waiting for you; Professor Dumbledore would like you to meet him tonight if you're ready to leave."
"Now?" she asked incredulously.
"Of course," Professor Dumbledore added softly, "should you need to collect any belongings or take care of any unfinished business before your departure you are welcome to do that before you leave."
"No," she said quickly. She did not feel like facing her friends. "I don't need to do anything before I go."
"Very well," he said in reply. He moved towards the large fireplace behind his desk and pulled out a satchel of what appeared to be floo powder.
Marlene turned to face Sirius. He was looking at her with the same sad expression. His hand reached out as if to touch her but he quickly pulled it back and brushed a strand of hair from his eyes instead. She was unable to say anything to him but she hoped that he understood how much she had appreciated all that he had done for her.
"If you will Miss McKinnon," Professor Dumbledore offered her the bag. She grabbed a pinch and for a moment the thought crossed her mind to take her home. Reminding herself that she wasn't going home brought another wave of distraught and she couldn't help the tears cascading from her eyes as the vision of Dumbledore's office whirled away and she was transported away in a haze of green smoke.
"You're welcome to stay a couple of extra days if you like," Uncle Tom's voice floated into Marlene's thoughts. February was much colder in Godrics Hollow than Marlene was used to back at her parent's house; it hadn't stopped snowing since she had arrived and not once had she seen the sun peak through the massive grey overcast. On this particular day she had been sitting on the ledge of the bay window staring out into the empty street and watching the snowflakes fall gracefully from the sky.
"I think I'm ready to go back," she said softly. She looked over at her Uncle Tom. He had seemed to have aged a few years in only the few months since she had last seen him. He looked tired; the dark circles under his eyes seemed to be permanently etched into his face. He half smiled at her which emphasized the soft wrinkles that had formed along his brow line.
"Are you sure?" he asked hesitantly. It was not in his nature to be overbearing but Marlene knew that he was new to parenting and was trying to make the best of their situation. She nodded.
Marlene had been indifferent at the time when Tom had explained that he had been given guardianship of her until her seventeenth birthday. She only had a few months of being underage left anyways so it hadn't mattered much to her. It was a harder adjustment to step inside her parent's empty house, lamps smashed to the floor in a thousand fragmented shards of porcelain, scorch marks adorned on the wall leading up the stairs. Pictures were smashed, hanging crookedly from the staircase or scattered on the floor. She had looked longingly at a few of them before the emotions had gotten the best of her and she forced herself back outside into the front yard.
There were a few curious neighbors nosy enough to approach her but she had ignored them dutifully and allowed her Uncle Tom to insist that the family wished to be left alone in their period of grief. She had learned that her parent's deaths had been passed off as a break and enter gone wrong so that surrounding muggles wouldn't grow suspicious.
The funeral had been short and simple. She had discovered after she had left Hogwarts that her parents had been killed due to their affiliation with the Order of the Pheonix. The name had sounded familiar to her and only when the first letter from Sirius had arrived did she connect the movement as the one he had been referring to only a few weeks prior.
Lily and Mary had offered to come but she had respectively declined their proposal.
"Another letter arrived for you this morning," Uncle Tom's voice floated back into her head. He was handing her an envelope and with a quick turn she had recognized the handwriting to be Sirius's.
He had been extremely thoughtful enough to owl her a few times during the weeks since she had left him standing in Dumbledore's office. She had never been able to bring herself to reply to him but instead he wrote again, never looking for an answer as to why she hadn't. Mostly his letters were filled with miscellaneous nonsense; Lily had taken up the task of informing her of full details on assignments and readings but Sirius had taken the time to fill her in on all the misgivings of their latest adventures and pranks. She assumed it was his attempt at cheering her up but she knew that he was withholding the really good stories, the ones she wasn't privy too under their marauder code.
Bert had only tried sending her the one letter. It had been very short and simple; expressing his sympathy and offering his support to her. She hadn't even given the letter much thought when she skimmed over it and she refused to allow herself to feel guilty for her ignorance on the subject. She was in no mood to deal with that situation.
She had been avoiding school for nearly a month and she was beginning to miss the familiarity that Hogwarts had to it. While Uncle Tom was her family, Hogwarts was more of a home than the unfamiliar house she had moved into. He had tried to make her feel welcome but she was realizing quickly that she would never quite get used to it being hers. She was also becoming increasingly aware of the insurmountable homework she was falling behind on as Lily's letters had been arriving daily for the past week with more assignments.
"Dumbledore is expecting you tonight," Uncle Tom said after she had explained this to him, strategically leaving out the bits that suggested she felt out of place in his house. When it was time to leave she had thanked him for everything, given him a firm hug goodbye and with a "see you in the summer" she was once again engulfed by the familiarity of floo powder as she headed back to the only place that felt like home.
Mary was waiting for her when she arrived back to the castle. She had flung her arms around Marlene in a warm embrace almost before she had had a chance to catch a glimpse of her. The gesture was appreciated but Marlene felt inclined to pull away a little quicker than she originally would have. The thought of too much attention on her still made her feel uneasy.
"I'm so glad to see you," Mary breathed and offered a sympathetic smile. Marlene realized that this was this first time they had seen each other in quite a few weeks. "Lily is doing prefect duties otherwise she would have been here too," Mary offered an explanation before Marlene had even registered that their red-headed friend was not among them.
"That's alright," Marlene said truthfully. She didn't mind Lily's commitment to her prefect obligations, as she knew how proud Lily had been when she had received her badge back before fifth year. It also provided her with a sense of normalcy; the more things that continued on ordinarily, the less attention Marlene felt was focused on feeling sorry for herself.
The girls began walking back towards the common room. It was apparent that it was nearly curfew and Marlene realized that she hadn't even bothered to check the time when leaving her uncle's house in Godric's Hollow. They walked past a large window and the grounds were illuminated by a prominent moon. She was happy to discover that it was, for once, not snowing.
"Bert's been looking for you, you know," Mary said quietly. She seemed apprehensive about bringing up the subject but Marlene was surprisingly glad for the distraction for once.
"I suppose I've been putting it off long enough," Marlene replied. She had regretted not doing it sooner but had tried hard not to dwell on it too much while she had been away. "He wrote to me while I was gone, I suppose it would have been politically correct of me to do it then but it just didn't seem right to do it by owl, you know?"
Mary laughed bitterly and Marlene got the sense that she had touched a nerve.
"Whatever did happen between you and Davey?" The subject had been long avoided and Marlene was surprised at herself for bringing it up.
Mary looked startled at the question.
Marlene didn't feel guilty asking; they had been friends long enough that she felt comfortable to ask prying questions into her personal life. Out of respect – and dislike of the Ravenclaw boy in question – she and Lily had dropped the subject, expecting that Mary would eventually share. However, as the months had passed and Mary's lips had remained sealed, Marlene became genuinely curious. It did help as a distraction from her problems and she was shameless to admit to herself that, at the cost of her friends comfort, she was going to enquire.
"He broke up with me by owl," she grinned at the irony. Marlene couldn't help but laugh a little.
"I'm sorry," she said quickly, "I shouldn't laugh."
"It's fine." Mary continued, waving her hand out to dismiss her friend's apology. "You and I both know that the relationship was a joke after the third time we broke up. I should have seen it coming. I've seen him with Bertha Jorkins again, you know. I don't doubt that they started seeing each other long before he sent me that letter."
"Coward," Marlene shook her head. It put a bit of her cowardice into perspective and she knew that putting off her imminent breakup any longer was just doing more harm than good.
"Have you talked to Sirius lately?" Mary asked suddenly. Marlene instantly recalled the letters he had written to her but did not divulge the information to her friend.
"Not really," she chose her words carefully. Even though he had written to her, she had not actually written back. Mary seemed to accept the answer though and did not challenge her.
They had reached the portrait hole and Marlene finally felt the nervous flutter in her stomach. Mary gave her a reassuring smile before issuing the password. She was doubtful that Mary could possibly understand how little she looked forward to this moment but didn't have long to dwell on it as the portrait of the fat lady swung open and revealed the entrance into the common room.
It was fairly quiet; most of the students were congregated around the circular tables, studying.
Her eyes settled instantly on the familiar figure slouched comfortably in one of the armchairs by the fire. His eyes were alive, illuminated by the blaze beside him, and he was laughing about something with good humor. His dark brown hair fell elegantly into his face; his face twisted into a large grin as James, sitting across from him, energetically continued a conversation she couldn't quite hear.
The boys were clearly having a good time. The books around them were unopened that indicated they had not been busy studying and Marlene was quick to notice that Remus was not with them. She reminded herself that Lily had been busy with prefect duties and assumed that he was probably with her.
Marlene felt like her feet had become stone. She felt unable to move any further, almost afraid of what to do. Her eyes looked towards the girl's staircase and wondered briefly if she could make it without being detected.
He had already seen her though; his eyes had flickered over in the direction of the entrance and upon seeing her, his grin wavered slightly. James and Peter turned around to look at her as if he had said something but his mouth had not opened.
"McKinnon!" James called over. She felt obligated to smile meekly in return to his acknowledgement and offered a small wave.
"I'm feeling extremely tired," she muttered quickly to Mary. She wasn't completely lying, she hadn't been sleeping very well lately and the long day accompanied by her lack of enthusiasm to putting on a charade in front of her friends was too much for her to bear. Seeing Sirius staring at her brought an old familiar fluttering feeling she hadn't experienced in a while and the memory of the last time they had been together drifted into her thoughts. She was determined not to let her nerves get the best of her so she turned towards the girl's staircase and quickly made her way up to her shared dormitory.
Luckily it was empty. She had been relieved that Mary had neglected to join her and she relished the time sorting through her school trunk, organizing her text books and clothes before finally throwing on a part of loose sweat pants and a tank top and crawling into her bed.
Although she hadn't been sleeping well at Uncle Tom's, sleep came much easier than she had anticipated. One of the reasons for her lack of slumber stemmed from the recurring nightmares she had been having regularly since she had been informed of her parent's deaths.
It was always the same dream; her parents waving happily to her from the platform of Kings Cross station, followed by sudden darkness and shrill screams echoing around her. She was suddenly in front of her house in the midst of a storm, the door slightly ajar. Marlene pushed through the door and into the front foyer. There were hooded figures in her house: smashing photos, destroying everything, setting fire to the house. She could hear her parents screaming, begging for their lives and only maniacal laughter following. One of the hooded figures turned on her and pointed a long crooked wand in her direction. Then Marlene was running down the deserted station platform, trying to run away, screaming her parents' names.
The first few nights it had happened she had actually awoken screaming in a pool of sweat. Uncle Tom had come rushing in to see what the matter was but he wasn't able to provide her any comfort. After about a week the nightmares continued to happen, but she had been able to wake herself without the screams. After waking, she had a difficult time falling back to sleep and she had spent the better part of the early hours of the morning staring out the window, observing the falling snow.
That night wasn't any exception. She awoke to look at the clock which indicated that it was nearing two in the morning. After attempting to close her eyes again the images were too fresh in her mind and she held back the urge to release her tears. She scrambled out of bed hastily; the other girls had their curtains drawn and were fast asleep. She quietly moved across the room to the bedroom door and slipped out into the hallway.
She was surprised to discover that she wasn't alone in the common room. She had made every effort to noiselessly move down the stairs but the creaking wood on the third step from the bottom landing gave her away.
"Can't sleep?"
She shouldn't have been startled to hear his voice. Of all people that it could've been it was bound to be Sirius. It was apparent from the pajama pants he was wearing that he hadn't been out plundering through the castle on one of his usual midnight strolls and he was casually curled up into the farthest end of the couch looking like his elegant self. The familiar fluttering had returned to her stomach as she watched him. He had his head resting in his hand, elbow propped on the arm of the couch and he had cocked his head to the side to look over at her.
She was suddenly self-conscious of what she was wearing and she instinctively drew her arms up to cross them over one another. She hesitated on whether being around him, alone, was a good idea but the belief that she wouldn't accomplish sleep upstairs drew her to conclude that her time was much better spent in his company.
"Not particularly, no," she said quietly and walked slowly over to the couch to settle into the opposite end. She couldn't fathom what was keeping him awake at this hour "How about you?"
"I don't sleep very well during the night," he laughed slightly. "When you spend as much time as I do out at night I suppose you become used to it."
"What about your posse?" she asked. He turned his face towards her and smiled.
"My posse?" his eyes were dancing with humor and Marlene felt herself flush. He was teasing her.
"You know perfectly well what I mean," she said with slight irritation. She pouted her lips slightly and his grin widened.
"They are sleeping and Remus is in the hospital wing."
"Is Remus okay?" she asked with concern.
"Oh he's fine," Sirius said dismissively. "Stomach flu or something like that I think."
"That's…" she trailed off not quite sure what she wanted to say. "Unfortunate."
She shivered unintentionally as the warmth of the fire hadn't quite reached her yet and her bare arms were exposed to the chilly air of the room.
"Are you cold?" Sirius asked with concern.
"A little," she laughed quietly. "I suppose I'm not really dressed for the time of year."
"Come here," he patted the space beside him and indicated for her to move over.
She hesitated, knowing full well that her feelings for him prevented her from thinking clearly. The thought of being close to Sirius was overwhelming though and she knew that she would like nothing more than to be so near. Of course they had been close before. Only a few weeks ago they had shared what could have been considered an extremely intimate embrace in the girl's lavatory for the better part of a day. She knew better though, there was nothing but platonic intentions behind that interaction and it hadn't even crossed her mind until now that under different circumstances, she would have been very flustered to being held like that by him.
"Stop being stubborn for once McKinnon," he said playfully and raised his brows at her. "You're cold, come here and let me help warm you up. I'm practically on fire over here."
Against her better judgment, she pushed herself over to the space beside him and felt his arms pull her into a familiar embrace. Her back was leaning against his chest as his arms wrapped around her shoulders and she leaned her head back to rest against his shoulder blade. Sirius instinctively rested his chin on the top of her head.
He wasn't kidding, he was unmistakably warm. She was thankful that she had decided to listen to him and she was even more overcome with a sense of satisfaction that he was in such close proximity to him that if she wanted to, she could have lent up and kissed him.
She had to remind herself that she needed to subdue her desire for such actions. Still, being so close to the boy that she had strongly developed feelings for left her feeling weak and helpless in his presence. She tried harder to focus on her painted toe nails in an attempt to distract herself from her thoughts of him.
After failing miserably to think of anything but Sirius, she closed her eyes and allowed herself to listen to the steady beat of his heart and his short, uneven breathing. His heart was beating slightly faster than the last time she had listened to it, almost as if he had been moving quickly. She reached her hand up and clasped it around his arm.
"I've been having these nightmares," she finally broke the silence. She was suddenly feeling very willing to talk and Sirius made a noise of acknowledgement as if intending for her to continue.
"Ever since … you know" she couldn't bring herself to speak of her parent's death out loud. Sirius gave her a reassuring squeeze and she continued. "I wake up every night and remember that it was only a dream, but then I remember that really, in a sense, it did actually happen whether or not the details of my nightmare are an accurate depiction of the night or not. I can't seem to stop thinking about it and I know that it isn't healthy to continue dwelling on it but it feels so … real, like I was standing there watching these monsters murder them and I just stand there, unable to do anything."
"There was nothing you could do," he said softly into her ear. She shivered slightly and his arms instinctively closed tighter around her.
"I know that but these dreams are so unforgiving and then I wake up and I'm feeling completely helpless. It's all I can concentrate on. I spent the last few weeks trying to distract myself from them by watching the stars – something I used to do as a kid, but the fog was so darn heavy that you could never see a single thing." Marlene let out a deep breath she didn't know she was holding and shifted her body slightly so she was laying on her side. She nestled her head back into Sirius's chest and continued to admire the familiar pattern of his beating heart that she had grown accustomed to in the previous five minutes. "I had sort of hoped that they would stop once I was back here but it seems that isn't the case and here I am."
"I used to have lots of nightmares when I was a kid," Sirius said after a few minutes of silence. "I can't quite relate to your situation as my parents weren't…" he hesitated on the word but decidedly skipped it and continued on. "The Black family is notorious for their devoted interests into dark magic and power. I spent my whole life growing up in a house that literally screams the epitome of nightmare. My mum is a piece of work; she wouldn't hesitate to use an unforgivable curse if you so much as looked at her the wrong way. Once, Regulus and I were playing inside the house and he had become fascinated with this odd, mangled, shriveled head she had on top of the bureau in her boudoir. Regulus knew the rules; you never go into her room, let alone touch anything. He ended up dropping it on the floor by accident and the stupid thing wailed so loudly that it shattered the mirror. He was only a little boy and the look on her face when she walked indicated to me that he was in for a full night of punishment. I took the blame for it naturally but she saw past it. We both ended up castigated for it, she seemed to enjoy every minute that she used the cruicatus curse on us…"
Marlene lifted her head from his body and propped herself onto her elbows against his chest so that she could get a better look at him. His face was scrunched up in obvious dislike of the memory but she appreciated being able to see past the façade he had created for himself. This was the real Sirius; his raw, bitter emotions were tangible and endearing as if it could easily match the elegant, sophisticated charm he usually emitted.
"Sorry," he muttered apologetically, his gaze had shifted away from her in what appeared to be embarrassment. "I didn't mean to make this about me."
"Don't apologize," she breathed readily. "I wouldn't have ever guessed your family was like that."
In truth, Marlene didn't know much about the Black family except that they were a proud, pureblooded wizarding family that prided themselves on being highly respected, well-off members of the community. She knew that Sirius was the only Gryffindor - the lot of them had belonged to Slytherin house, including his younger brother Regulus. This much she knew from back in first year during the sorting. There had been some whispered surprise from a few peers ahead of her in line after he had been sorted and joined the Gryffindor table.
Black had always been charming. He paraded around the school with his friends with an arrogance that easily matched that of James Potter and for it, he was disliked by many and admired by many more. She had always supposed that the attitude stemmed from being born into an extremely wealthy family; arrogance and money were often tied together. She had never considered that it was a disguise to hide the real Sirius Black.
"Nobody does," he was smirking now, "or they don't care. The Potters were hesitant of me in the first year. I could see it in their eyes when James introduced me to them; they were judging me for my name. Over time they grew to love me the way that I had never known at home, how a parent should love a child unconditionally and for that I am eternally grateful to have them. I don't know where I'd be without them."
"Perhaps in Slytherin?" Marlene said jokingly. Sirius's hard demeanor had started to vanish and she could see a glimmer of amusement light up in his eyes.
"I'd probably be the worst Slytherin in the history of Hogwarts," he mused.
"I never thought I'd see the day when you could admit to being bad at something," she said with mock surprise. Sirius rewarded her with a genuine laugh.
"I said probably, but I always love a good challenge." He winked casually at her and she felt a blush creep to her cheeks. She had hoped he hadn't noticed it in the dim lighting but he was suddenly looking at her very intently and she felt herself becoming slightly flustered. She had quite easily forgotten about how nervous he usually made her feel; he had a knack about turning uncomfortable situations into comfortable ones. On the flip side, it seemed, he was just as good in the reverse.
"Has anyone ever told you how pretty you are when you blush like that?" his voice was soft and he held his gaze with her with intensity. Marlene cursed herself for blushing again but she was unable to prevent her body from reacting to his compliment.
"No I don't believe they have," she tried her best to pass it off with a slight laugh but he didn't look humored by it. His hand pulled away from where it had been resting around her and reached up towards her face instead. His fingers grabbed hold of a strand of the hair framing her face and slowly moved to tuck it behind her ear.
"Sirius…" she said quietly and with a bit of unintended edge to her voice.
"You rarely call me that, you know?" he was grinning now but his hand was still cupping her face and the look in his eyes hadn't wavered.
"Call you what?" she asked with confusion, she suddenly couldn't remember what she had said to him as she was too focused on his face and her fumbling emotions.
"Sirius," he said simply. "You always call me Black."
"Well it's your name isn't it?" she huffed "And come to think of it you always call me by my last name too."
"Yes, I suppose I do," he smiled at her and moved his hand back down to encircle her waist. His gaze dropped slightly and the intensity of the moment quickly dissipated. Marlene couldn't help the sudden disappointment she felt but she laid her head back down against his chest and returned her focus to his shallow breathing.
"Are you still dating Aubrey?" his question was like a sharp stab in her side. She couldn't be sure but she was positive she had flinched slightly upon hearing it. She was glad that her head was positioned so that he was unable to see her face because she could feel her eyes widen in shock.
"Erhm," she stumbled a bit. "I suppose technically, yes?"
Sirius's body tensed slightly but she wasn't entirely sure if it had been her imagination. He didn't say anything and Marlene, feeling brave, lifted her head again to look at him. He was looking up at the ceiling with a slight crease in his brow but still looked otherwise peaceful.
"It's been a bit complicated," she continued rambling but he didn't seem too interested in pursuing the conversation. She was happy that he hadn't made to move away from her but he did seem less interactive than he had only moments before. She couldn't help but feel hopeful that Lily had been right. Perhaps he was jealous and did have feelings for her after all.
Of course she wouldn't get to find out now and she mentally cursed at herself for not breaking things off with Bert when there had been ample opportunity in the past. A sudden flare of sickening realization hit her; she could have possibly ruined her chances completely with Sirius over this. That is, if she ever even had a chance to begin with.
"I should try to go back to sleep, tomorrow is going to be a long day," she said quickly. She was recognizing that she was running away from the situation, something she had apparently grown good at lately but she couldn't be bothered to care. Sirius looked surprised momentarily but she had already pulled herself from his grasp and was climbing off the couch.
"Marlene, wait," he had started but Marlene was suddenly too sick with nerves to know what he wanted to say.
"Sorry Sirius," she muttered quietly as she scrambled to her feet. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Marlene!" he groaned loudly at her as she dashed across the common room but she didn't bother to wait.