"Can I come in?" Skwisgaar asked as he knocked on the locked bedroom door.

"No fuck off" Came the angered response, the words were slightly slurred.

Great he was drinking again.

"Please, come on Tokis just let me in."

"Go away, I don't want to talk to you."

"I'm fucking sorry, okay?"

He heard something hit against the door, he wondered what he just threw.

"Shouldn't you go fuck some girl before somebody thinks you're gay or something"

Skwisgaar leaned back against the door, he sighed and closed his eyes. This wasn't working; he wasn't sure if he wanted to spend the rest of his night standing there yelling at a door. It wasn't like this was a new thing for the two of them, nobody would find this odd in the least. They often had moments of fighting like a couple that had been together for way too many years. Just normally minus the couple part, but now it felt slightly worse; he felt more so like a dick now than he did the other times they fought. It seemed like about every time they did fight was because he had to be a dick to the younger man, he'd either over react or in some cases react better than most people would. They would fight, throw each other out of the band, beat each other up, or try to hurt each other in the worst ways possibles. By the end of a week or maybe a month one of them would cave in ready to cry just from frustration and a stupid fear that if something happened to the other then the last things they ever said or did were hateful. This could be like that, except a bit more personal. He knew standing outside his door trying to convince him to see him wasn't going to help much. He decided to leave and retire to his own room.

He sat on his bed with guitar in hand, playing tended to relax him. He knew he shouldn't have said that shit, but he'd gotten annoyed. He doubted that Toki actually believed he'd fucked somebody else, he was smart enough to know better than that. He just felt sort of cornered by everything; he wanted to just be okay with it. Dating in secret wasn't a big deal, because nobody needed to know anyway, and he already knew nobody would give a fuck. They'd always thought the two acted like a very fucking dysfunctional couple. He just couldn't really handle any of this right now; he couldn't handle looking out for somebody when he couldn't look after himself half of the time, couldn't handle having somebody trust him so blindly and so often no matter how many times he treated him like shit. He had never understood it. No matter what Toki always trusted him even when he would hate him the most, Skwisgaar always managed to have a strong hold over him in the weirdest way. It had always been like they were naturally connected, one of them always shadowing the other, and long periods of time without speaking seemed to drive them crazier than they normally were. He decided he would sleep and then try again tomorrow, there was no way he'd lock himself in his room for that long.

Later on in the night into early morning he woke up to the faint sound of screaming, the familiar nightmare screaming that made his heart hurt. He attempted to ignore it for a few minutes, but it drove him insane; plus at one point in the six minutes of ignoring the sounds his phone began going off meaning his band mates were pissed and confused as to why he wasn't checking on the rhythm guitarist.

"Fine"

He crawled out of bed, pulled his jeans on, and went towards the younger man's room. He tried the door knob, but of course it was still locked.

"Damn it Toki"

He sat down on the floor outside of the room leaning his head back against the wall. He kept his eyes locked on the door cringing at the sounds coming from inside of the room, it was fucking brutal to listen to. He had the overwhelming urge to do something, but he couldn't do shit. He waited and wondered if somebody else would get up and ask why he wasn't doing something about this and then ask why the door was locked, but then that would end with asking why they were fighting again. The screams faded and now he just heard sobbing, he knew for sure the younger man was awake now. He could hear him moving around his room, heard the sound of a couple of empty glass bottles being knocked around, and had the strongest feeling he was most likely going for a new one that he had stashed in his room. At the rate he was going they would be out of alcohol by the end of the week.

Skwisgaar got to his feet and went back to his own room, he knew better than to argue with him through the door again. Not right now, he knew he had to be exhausted and shaken up; he wanted to talk to him and comfort him, but he didn't want that right now.

Back in his own room he lay there tossing and turning mostly staring out his bedroom window at the dark night sky. He would just try to talk to him when he was out of his room.