Part XIV
The next morning dawned bright and Peredhil family was quiet; even Celebrían's spirits did not show, for indeed, she no longer felt sure that her choice was correct.
After breakfast, she went to speak to Círdan. 'I do not want to leave, Lord Círdan,' she said, tears welling in her tortured eyes. 'My daughter has begged me to stay, my sons have vowed to pursue revenge for what has been done to me. And my husband... I shall not be able to stand being parted from him for as long as we surely shall be.'
Círdan reassured her, not trying to hold sway over her final decision. 'You must do what you believe is right, what is best for you and your loved ones. If you believe that you will be able to survive and heal fully on this shore, your family will not be the only ones overjoyed. But should you remain and yet fade from memories instead of healing, perhaps it will not change your sons' decisions to get revenge. If you were to sail, imagine your unending joy when you are reunited, and they behold their wife and mother healed, in better health than they had ever seen her before.'
Celebrian bowed her head. Círdan's logic was sound, and in her heart, she knew that there had never been a real choice: she would have to sail or die. To die would kill her husband, perhaps her children as well. Whereas if she sailed, they would not suffer the centuries of waiting in the Halls of Mandos, instead meeting again as a family in the Undying Lands. Softly, so softly that Círdan's elven ears had to strain to hear it, she said, 'I shall sail.'
'It is as you wish, my lady,' Círdan said gruffly. 'Let us return to your family before they wonder where you have gotten to.'
Breakfast was a solemn affair, with no one saying more than they had to. Círdan had told them that the ship was to depart in the evening, about two hours after supper, so as to give the crew and passengers time for their meal and for goodbyes.
No one knew what to do with themselves. The waiting was terrible, Elrond, Celebrian and her parents staying together, while Arwen followed closely behind. The twins, however, avoided their mother whenever possible. Grief was not seen in their features unless one looked closely. The first emotions seen in their faces and in the way they acted were hatred and anger. They would speak to no one but each other, and kept to their rooms.
Celebrian tried going to them once when they refused to come for the midday meal, but both doors were locked. Not a sound came from within, no matter how much she called to them. She would have doubted that they were within were it not for her bond, which convinced her.
Their father and grandfather, as well as Lord Círdan, were angered by this attitude, but even they could not coax a sound from Elladan or Elrohir. Celebrian refused the offer of a master key from Círdan. The twins obviously did not want to speak to anyone, or they were not ready to at any rate, and she had never been one to force them to do something against their will that she did not deem was strictly necessary.
Instead, she had food sent to their rooms, making sure they accepted it by saying that if they would not open their doors for the servant, then she would be forced to accept Círdan's offer of the key.
After a while, they did leave their rooms, though they still avoided their mother when possible. Finally, however, Celebrian cornered them in the sitting room of their room. She got right to the point.
'Why do you avoid me on the day I am to leave, my sons?' She looked from one to the other, waiting for an answer.
The twins stared at the floor, unwilling to make eye-contact. 'We... are not avoiding you, Naneth– '
'You are not? Then may I ask what you are doing?' Celebrian paced in front of them, her eyes brimful of tears.
When neither of them answered, she prodded, 'Is it that you blame me, you are angry with me for what I am choosing?'
'No!' the twins cried together.
'We will not be able to bear it without you, Naneth,' Elrohir finally spoke up, hoping it would satisfy her.
'That is no reason to avoid me. Indeed, I would have thought that it would move you to remain with me. You are not the only one who is about to lose one whom you love. I am about to leave six. There is no reason for you two to suffer alone.'
The twins said nothing. Their mother had read their minds so accurately that it stunned them.
'Will you not join us for the rest of the day?' She knelt down before the twins and took their hands in hers.
The twins rose at the same time, pulling their mother to her feet, horrified at the sight of her kneeling before them, begging them to spend time with her. 'Naneth, do not kneel before us. Indeed, it ought to be the other way around: Elrohir and I have wronged you, Adar and Lord Círdan greatly by keeping to ourselves like this. Forgive us!' Elladan cried, tears making their way down his cheeks as he embraced his mother.
Celebrian returned Elladan's embrace, pulling Elrohir into it as well. 'There is nothing to forgive, my dear.' To lighten the tense air in the room, she gave a quick smile before saying, 'Now go wash your faces, boys, then come to us in the Northern Hall. We have all missed you.'
With that, she left them and returned to the rest of her family.
Elladan and Elrohir did as they had been told – albeit a little reluctantly – and then made their way to the Hall.
Upon entering, Arwen ran to them, laughing or crying: the twins could not tell which. Her eyes were shining with tears, some of which were cascading down her cheeks, and when she tried to talk to them, she buried her face in her hands, overcome by laughter or sobs.
The twins were bewildered. They looked to the elder Elves for an explanation. 'I was telling a tale of your mother's childhood antics,' Celeborn said. 'I am afraid you just missed it.'
Arwen looked up from her hands. 'Do not worry, I shall retell it later. But come, sit down.'
Her brothers did so, eyes wide with shock. Mechanically, they took the wineglasses their sister offered.
The rest of the afternoon was filled with storytelling and laughter – and tears. The time passed quickly, and before the Elves realised it, it was the supper hour.
The meal the servants had prepared was spectacular: roasted venison surrounded by onion and orange slices, mashed potatoes dripping with butter and gravy from the meat. The spicy aroma of thick squash soup tantalised the Elves' noses, and their mouths watered when fresh, crispy rolls were produced. There was corn, beans, carrots and peas for a side-dish. All this was accompanied by glasses of the best Dorwinion in Círdan's wine cellars. Dessert was no less delicious: fresh apple pie with even fresher berries, topped with stiff white whipped cream was served to Lord Círdan and his guests.
Whether it was the food or the tact of those consuming the food, not a dreary sentence was spoken during the meal. Every now and then, the three younger Peredhils fell silent and cast their eyes downwards, but a hand-squeeze – in Arwen's case, who was sitting beside Celebrian, or an encouraging smile – in the twins' cases, who were sitting across from their mother – seemed to remedy the moment.
Finally the meal came to an end, and after a few minutes of talking, thanking and complementing the cooks, the family and their host stood and prepared to leave for the harbour. Cirdan opted to remain at the house, giving the family time to say their own goodbyes.
At the dock, stone benches were strewn over the ground, large enough for three or four at the most. Upon these, the Elves sank down; Galadriel, Celeborn and Arwen on one, Celebrian and Elrond on another, and the twins on a third.
Before long, a horn sounded in the distance. More Elves began to appear, and the benches were filled with those sailing and their loved ones.
The ship came into view. Its magnificent bow cut through the water, sending up spray. The wood was a greyish-white, sloping up from the submerged keel to the smooth deck. Upon the bow sat a beautifully carved swan, its elegant neck stretched forward, as though it were alive, looking expectantly at the land it was ferrying its passengers to. Elves hurried around the decks, preparing for the embarking of those about to sail.
Celebrian and Elrond walked over to their parents and children. Elladan and Elrohir were staring balefully at the ship, their heads resting together as they spoke silently through their bond.
Arwen stood up and went to her parents. 'Must you leave, Naneth?' she asked pleadingly. 'Surely there is someway to remain here and recover.'
Celebrian took her daughter's face in her hands and kissed her forehead. 'I wish to Eru that there were, iel nin, and if there were, trust me, I would stay.' She took one of each twins' hands and pulled them to a standing position. 'I would not be parted from those I love best. But come! Do not mourn me, for we shall meet again one day, in the Land of Bliss.'
By now the ship had arrived at the dock and the Elves were tying it to piers. After the ropes were secured, they lowered the gangplank.
All around the Peredhil family, others were saying their last farewells. Celebrian again kissed Arwen's forehead, taking her in her arms at the same time. 'Farewell, Evenstar. From now on, you shall be the Lady of Imladris in my stead. Take this as token of my love, keep it as a remembrance of your mother Celebrian, until we meet again.'
Reaching behind her neck, she unclasped a silver chain. 'The Evenstar,' she said as she held it before her, admiring it as it shimmered in the setting sun. Upon the chain sat a silver pendant. The silver strands were twined together, forming leaves. Connected to the leaves was a sparkling flower. In the middle of the flower sat a great gemstone, which changed colour when turned to the sun.
Celebrian fastened the necklace round her daughter's neck and embraced her once more.
She moved to her middle child. 'Elrohir...' She broke off, not knowing what to say. How she would miss this Elfling, who always had a hug, a complement, or a flower for her, whatever the situation. While swallowing the lump in her throat, she pulled him to her breast and cried into his hair. 'Think of me when you play your violin, Elrohir. Think of me as I was before, not as I am now. Do not go in search of revenge for indeed, the Orcs have not the victory. They tried to kill me, to quench my light, but they have failed. Do not let them succeed in you.'
Elrohir could not answer. He took her hand and pressed something into it gently. She glanced down. It was a rose, perfect in it's beauty. She felt him place something on her other palm. This time it was a tiny pouch.
'What is it?' she asked.
'Seeds, from the same bush this came off of,' he replied in a small voice, indicating the rose. 'You can plant them in Valinor, and have a bit of Imladris with you.'
'Thank you, my precious boy. I shall plant them at the first moment possible.' She kissed the top of his head. 'Do not forget to join me, you and Elladan and Arwen. I love you.'
Elladan was waiting impatiently by his twin.
'And you, Elladan. I shall miss you, my headstrong warrior. Look after your brother and sister – and your father. As I told your brother, do not seek blood in payment for what has happened, I beg of you.'
As Elladan held her in an embrace so tight she found it difficult to breathe, she murmured into his ear so that no other could overhear her, 'Elladan, Elrohir and Arwen need you to be strong. You must be there for them.' She kissed his cheek. 'Come to me soon, little one, with your father and siblings. I love you, Elladan.'
Next was her mother. 'Farewell, Naneth,' she cried, running into Galadriel's arms. 'Help them!' she sobbed. 'Please, do not leave them alone. Promise me you will not!'
'I promise, Celebrian. Your Adar and I shall visit Imladris as often as we can.'
'Thank you,' gasped Celebrian, trembling from relief. 'Thank you, Naneth. I love you, I always will.'
'I love you too, iel nin. I shall sail when my work here is over. This also I promise. Now hurry, the ship shall not remain here forever.' Galadriel moved back a step and let her husband take her place.
'My Celebrian,' cried her father. 'I also shall come to you. I love you, Celebrian.' He kissed her once, then turned her to face her husband.
She gave a low cry. 'Elrond, meleth-nin, I...' She said no more, but pressed her lips against his. They stood together for a moment, then broke off again as the horn sounded a second time.
'Thank you for choosing me, Celebrian Celeborniel. I will love you, for now and forever.' With that, he escorted her to the gangplank. For a moment they were lost in the crowd of Elves, and Celebrían's parents and children strained to find them again. Then they saw Elrond, standing to one side of the gangplank, and Celebrian, walking up it, waving the hand holding Elrohir's rose at him.
Once on board, she fought her way to the side and searched the crowd. The rest of her family were making their way to Elrond.
A few moments later, the ropes were untied, the gangplank raised, and the ship slowly began to leave the shore. Celebrian leaned over the rail, waving the rose.
The wind whipped her golden hair, causing it to fall forwards and float on the breeze as she leaned over the water.
As the ship sailed farther and farther from the shore, Celebrían's sight blurred with tears. The silvery sheen over her pupils limited her eyesight, and moments later, the dock was but a blur, slowly getting smaller.
A gust of wind caught the rose in her hand. A petal was torn off and it was whisked along, out of sight.
Then she could no longer see anything but the land on the horizon through the blur over her eyes, and the Sea was surrounding her.
On the shore, the Elves stared after the ship bearing their loved ones away from them. Even as it disappeared from sight, something floated gently to the ground in front of the Peredhils. Elrond stooped to pick it up. In the swiftly-fading twilight, he identified it: a petal from a rose.
He ran his finger over the velvety surface, then glanced at Elrohir, who was still staring out to sea.
'Elrohir.'
His son turned at the sound of his name.
Elrond, tears running down his cheeks, stood before him. 'Here.'
Elrohir took the petal silently. He clenched his fist around it, careful not to bruise it. 'Thank you, Adar,' he finally said.
A flash of light came from between two islands rising far out of the Sea, so far the Elves had to strain to see it. It wavered for a moment, then faded, even as the sun went down and darkness blanketed Middle-earth.
End of Book One
A/N: So, here you have book one! Book two is in progress, so updates may not come as often. The second book is called ''Til We Meet Again,' and it may be a little longer than this one. Thank you to anyone who has read this far, and especially to LadyLindariel, who has so faithfully reviewed every chapter!