Author's notes:

Was the previous chapter that boring? There weren't many reviews for it…It would be great to know if you guys are still enjoying this fiction so far. I am still waiting for my beta to finish the previous chapters before sending her the recent chapters, so please forgive me for any mistakes that will be found here. Thanks to everyone who left a review and to my beta who took up the offer to go through the tedious process of editing such long chapters.

The frigid wind awakens me

From fitful dreams

As my hand traveled to

The other side of the bed

Without warmth

Without you

- Cattyfuzzy

oOooOo

Excerpt from The Vintner's Luck

You fainted and I caught you. It was the first time I'd supported a human. You had such heavy bones. I put myself between you and gravity.

Impossible.

oOooOo

The Continuality of Existence

Chapter 13

Fay scrolled down the screen taking note of the major headlines in recent weeks, trying to figure out which exactly was the news that got the red eye man so flustered. On his other hand, he fidgeted with the phone wondering if he should make a call to Kurogane. It has been more then forty eight hours, he wasn't home yet and there were no phone calls or messages left for him even. It was such a foreign feeling to be so worried for someone else. He did not like it one bit.

He finally saw it after an hour's search…what dire implications. Does this have to do with the woman Kurogane used to see? If so, how could she do this to someone she used to care about? But he was nobody to question what happened in the past between them, because if it came down to it, he was the one who had caused their separation. Maybe she was getting him involved as an act of revenge? He felt himself getting angrier as more details were revealed in the article. He wasn't ignorant of what would happen to the boys when they were captured for such purposes and it pushed the innate fear within him to surface again.

So many questions swirled around him…how could Kurogane so willingly be involved with a woman who has a hand in such despicable acts? Did he know in the first place? If he knew what was going on…what exactly did he feel about him? Is he being treated as what those boys are? His grip on the phone tightens and the scalding feel of tears came to his eyes again. Why was he such a fool to believe that he could ever be happy?

He shut the screen of the laptop and went back to his room; there wasn't any point on reading further.

Kurogane slipped in quietly through the door, noting the darkness of the room and knowing the blonde would probably be asleep by now. He padded along the corridor that led to their bedrooms and peered into the blonde's moonlit room. The slender silhouette covered in a mound of thick velvet blankets made him smile. The blonde was still here. This is the sight he would love to come home to every night, to know that someone will be at home waiting peacefully for him. No matter how bad his day had been, such domestic settings comforted him in ways he never have thought it would, his troubles seemingly evaporated.

He stepped into the room towards the blonde's bed and knelt down next to it, his hand automatically reaching out for those soft golden locks. He laid his head gently beside the pillow and took a deep breathe, savoring the sweet scent of the blonde. Fay stirred as he felt warm long fingers carding through his hair. Kurogane was home. He tilted his head up slowly from beneath the thick blanket that was covering half of his face. Despite his earlier momentary depression, relief flooded through him upon seeing the red eye man's face. He saw the tiredness and worry reflected in the dark ruby eyes, and thought better of raising the doubts that are now deeply seated in his mind.

"I'm sorry for not calling…things were a little complicated." Kurogane said in apology.

Fay forced a smile and hoped that it was reassuring enough.

"It's fine." He replied softy.

Kurogane gazed at the blonde's delicate features, a vain effort to disguise his own worries and he felt guilt squeezed at his heart. It wasn't just two days ago that he had professed his feelings and promised the blonde happiness yet within a blink of an eye, he had forgotten the words he said. He had left the blonde alone in a jumbled mess of confusion. He was so absorbed with Yuuko's predicament he had not even bothered to make a phone call. Some man he is…when will he ever learn?

"No. It's not okay and you're not fine. You must be mad at me or something and if you're, you should just say so. Show whatever you're feeling inside here…" Kurogane said as his hand traveled beneath the blankets and rested itself over Fay's chest, on the area above his heart, "so that I can understand how to love you better." He said knowing fully well how much of a handicap the blonde was at expressing his emotions and thoughts. This was something he intends to change in their relationship.

Fay's lids closed on their own accord as the heart-wrenching pain gripped him again. He couldn't decide if Kurogane was being sincere or if it was an act. He regretted his nosiness. He should have left what he didn't know alone. Now everything was messed up and every stable perspective he managed to gain was slipping away.

Or was it simply because he could never learn how to trust?

"I…I feel disappointed…" Fay whispered as he buried himself into the mound of beddings, away from that warm hand seeking to drive away the ability from him to stay awake.

Kurogane withdrew his hand as he stood up. Obviously Fay was more upset then he let on. He sigh softly…it was going to be another long night.

"Can you wait up for me? I'm going to take a shower…" he asked and stood there for a moment waiting for the blonde to acknowledge his question. He moved away when the silence emanating from the blonde was too much to withstand.

He relaxed his muscles and let the hot water worked its magic on tense shoulders, tilting his head back and stretching his arms above his head. He thought about what to say to Fay, it was definitely inexcusable…his behavior for the past couple of days…but was it really enough to cause such disappointment the blonde was feeling? He did not think so…he twisted the tap vehemently in his frustration and stomp out of the shower, grabbing a towel that was hanging from the rack and wrapped it around his waist without bothering to wipe himself dry. The cold left in the air pricked at his skin like needles

Fay waited impatiently as he listened to the rush of water echoing down the hallway, he twisted his body so that he was now facing the door. His drifting eyes lingered on the sharp angled shadows drawn from the fluorescent light of the bathroom, through the darkness he could make out the form of Manju laying down infront of the bathroom door, waiting for his master to exit. He wonders if that was how it was to love someone, that blind loyalty that only people in love or the fanatically religious could display and cultivate. One would constantly wait with expectation and unwavering affections no matter what truths had been revealed about the ones they loved. Even through the hurt and disappointment, he still couldn't bring himself to feel the slightest bit of loathing for the red eye man…

But was what he was feeling truly love or just the need to be dependent on someone? It seems like he will always be troubled with these incessant thoughts…

He cut off the line of thoughts when he heard the door of the bathroom opening, and a few seconds later the figure of Kurogane walked out and headed into the bedroom next to his. His eyes were momentarily graced with tanned skin, a perfectly toned body with well formed limbs that spiked up his temperature. He flushed in the dark, embarrassed and mortified that the man's partially naked body could make him feel so…so warm at this inappropriate moment. He relaxed himself as he heard the red eye man fumble about in the drawers for clothing; at least he didn't have to be distracted by sun bronzed skin while they were talking.

Kurogane put on a soft cotton tee and a pair of black boxers before he padded softly across to the bedroom next to his. He sat on the bed with Manju following behind, and sat beside the prone figure which appeared to be asleep but he knew better. The blonde was too preoccupied to fall back into a peaceful slumber. In an act of unaccustomed familiarity, he placed his hand gently on the curve of the blonde's waist and felt the expected flinch.

"Do you still want to talk?" Kurogane asked.

Fay tossed the request back and forth in his mind for a while. Finally he pushed himself up to face the red eye man and almost faltered when he saw the tenderness in those eyes. But he wanted his doubts to be answered tonight, he had been through enough confusion and worries for the past two days.

"I saw the news article…" Fay answered bluntly not knowing how to be tactile about broaching the subject. Not thinking that it was necessary, "I just wanted to know if you're involved with …with whatever that they are doing."

Kurogane drew in a sharp breathe and felt like he had just been slapped in the face as he recognized the underlying tones of accusation. Although he understood the justifications about the blonde harboring such assumptions, he felt insulted and indignant about it. The thought of how unfair the judgment was on him left a bitter aftertaste in his mouth, and it anger him greatly that his integrity was doubted when he had already shown as much to the blonde.

"You'd think that of me with merely a few words written by a stranger rather then trust what your eyes have seen and what your heart has felt?" he asked with a cold detached anger tremulous in his voice.

Fay blinked as looked into Kurogane's blazing eyes, realizing the truth in the question asked within seconds. He blanched at his own foolish impulsiveness for thinking about the red eye man in such a way and he gripped the bed sheet hard, fisting the fabric tightly in his fingers.

"I…"

"Don't ever think that of me…not from you Fay…" Kurogane whispered as he stood and walked out of the room with a great sense of reluctance. As irate as he was, he knew it would be better to leave Fay alone to think it through and sooth his insecurities.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Sakura beamed at the sight of Manju skidding across the linoleum flooring in his excitement to get to her. She lifted the paper bag in her right hand high up to the level of her shoulders, not wanting to risk damaging the gifts inside. She cooed and squealed at the same time as Manju leaped all over her and slobbered her with his long wet tongue, from behind Manju a familiar deep chuckled broke out.

"Hey, look who's back."

"Hey yourself! Help get your dog off me!" Sakura reprimanded without real reproach, glad to see the man she loved as a brother.

Kurogane released a sharp and short whistle and immediately Manju dropped and sat back on his hind legs, his tail still thumping the floor loudly. The dog swung his head back and forth between its master and Sakura, imploring adorably for its master to give him the permission again to welcome one of his favorite human. Kurogane laughed at its antics before walking forward and enveloping Sakura in a bear hug.

"I miss you too…Kurogane," Sakura said as she was released "how is Daniel? How have both of you been?" she asked as she passed the paper bag to Kurogane's outstretched hand. The tired bags under his eyes did not escape her; she couldn't help but noticed that something was amiss.

"We're fine…" he replied without elaboration as he fussed with the contents in the bag, flipping and shaking each exquisitely wrapped box trying to figure out what was inside. Sakura frowned slightly at the false nonchalance that tinged his voice.

"Where's Daniel?" she asked casually as she kept her eyes focused on the red eye man's features.

"…he's still asleep…he had a tiring night studying for his test, why don't we let him rest a bit more?" Kurogane answered.

Sakura hadn't missed the slight pause before the answer. But she knew she shouldn't push, Kurogane is the kind of person who will talk only when he's willing to do so.

"Alright…" Sakura replied as she placed the canvas bag she was carrying on her shoulder onto the kitchen counter, "hungry?"

Kurogane nodded as he maneuvered himself onto one of the tall chairs, starting a meaningless but funny conversation with Sakura immediately. He knew she sensed something wrong but he also knows that she is not the kind to pry when it wasn't her business. They fall back into their easy flow of conversation with the sounds of normalcy filling the apartment again. It was such a welcome change for Kurogane. He had not realized how much he needed this…Everything for the past few weeks were straining him and without a respite from it all, he failed to see how affected he was. He was tired and drained mentally, physically. He had not had a good rest ever since Fay went off that day and now with Yuuko's case in a knot he was sure that a good night's sleep would be out of his reach still, not to mention that he was also still smarting from Fay's general distrust towards him.

Sometimes, it was all he could do to not give up and he wondered why he couldn't just ever like a normal person instead…

Fay woke up to the delicious scent of food wafting in from the kitchen and a familiar voice he hadn't heard for a while. He broke into a smile. He had forgotten that Sakura was due back at work today. As usual, her cheerful voice never fails to lift him out of whatever funk he was experiencing at the moment. He clambered out of the too soft bed and beddings that threatened to drown him within their sinful warmth, and remembered who had got him those. The red eye man had pulled him into a departmental store one fine day after finally having had enough of watching him shiver beneath the comforter he used to have, and of course his own stubborn capacity of enduring every discomfort in silence. Kurogane had almost bought him every single jacket and beddings he could lay his hands on then.

He really had made a mistake this time. If the red eye man didn't care about him, why would he go through all that trouble? Why would he be so concerned? He had doubted a man who willingly left his morals, beliefs and who had mustered a barrel full of fool's courage to love him. All that fool got in return was his distrust and skepticism.

'Arrghh…' Fay groaned inwardly in his head as guilt tore through him and he slapped both his hands over his face. He was a fool…They were both fools…Fay lifted his head and lowered his arms. He had caused a crack in the relationship even before it even had a chance to bloom.

"Hey…are you ok?"

Fay startled as his head snapped up and he saw Kurogane standing at his bedroom door. He sat there at his bed, not knowing what to do, like a little child who had lost his way home. He never knew what to do. Kurogane stepped forward, the tray of food in his hand forgotten as he placed it casually on the bedside table, when he noticed how distraught the blonde looked. He advanced slowly towards the blonde. His heart quickening and worry gripped at him. He shook his head at himself inwardly because it seems that no matter how annoyed at the blonde he was, he just could not stop caring for him.

"Fay…" he called out as he knelt infront of the blonde, tipping his head to able himself to see the blonde's expression better. He took in the lost look on the blonde's face and fought the urge to wrap his arms around that delectable frame, "talk to me…"

Fay turned his gaze towards those crimson eyes and in it he saw again the tender emotions brought on by him. He knows he will always make painful and crass errors such as this in future, and that awareness was no consolation at all. Life seems to be jinxed at every turn for him no matter how positive he tries to be. He feels himself falling into the whirlpool once again when he realized his anxieties regarding this relationship were very real indeed.

All of a sudden, happiness seemed miles away again and he fears he could no longer recapture the simple bliss he felt just days ago.

"This is not going to work Kurogane…you can't deal with my insecurities…it's not fair for you. I don't know how to be grateful."

Kurogane clenched his jaw tight and took a deep breathe in an attempt to regulate his rising emotions. He knows that these scenarios will be oft in future, and he must be the one who has to learn how to be in control and maneuver the situation into a non-threatening plane to the blonde's psyche.

"Fay, you need to know that you can't read my mind. It's not fair for you to assume how I feel," he said gently "I don't need you to be grateful to me…that's not what I want from you. I need you to learn how to love instead...learn how to fall in love with me."

"You aren't angry about what I said last night?" Fay asked surprised.

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't but I understand that you can't help it either. It's partly my fault too that I did not speak to you about in the first place." Kurogane said as he finally gave in to his longings and pulled the blonde into a hug. He smiled as he felt the blonde relaxed against him. There was at least that much of an improvement.

Fay nuzzled his nose against the firm tendons that run along beneath the skin of the red eye man's neck, strength…this was what he needed and this is what Kurogane is able to give him. A relentless and dependent flow that he can draw from when faced with his own weakness. Fay smiled when he realized that his heart was not wrong and that the red eye man could always so easily dispel his worries. He breathed out gently as he whispered Kurogane's name in a gesture of thanks, letting the warm puff of air fan across smooth, heated skin.

Kurogane tighten his grasp around the blonde's slender waist as he tried chivalrously to suppress the shudders traveling down his spine. He pulled away slowly and let his hands slither from the blonde's waist, feeling the fabric rustled beneath his fingers and the catching the slight quickening of the blonde's breathing, before stopping at that graceful ivory neck to thumb the blonde's jawline reverently. He let his thumbs grazed past soft cheeks and pliant lips, all the while looking into the depths of the blonde's eyes, quietly imploring for permission to taste those delicate lips.

Fay raised his hands to cover the red eye man's larger ones as his lips parted slightly, and he leaned unconsciously forward in silent acquiescence. The immediate heat tearing through his body was not something he could comprehend…yet…and he had never felt such a need to be physically close to anyone before. He could not pinpoint the origin source of his thirst and that frustrates him greatly. Was this feeling called desire? If it is, should he feel ashamed for wanting it all the time from this one man? But he was not spared a moment longer for his thoughts as warm lips descended upon his…a gentle prodding that turned more demanding as his lips were pushed wider apart.

The smooth texture of an eager tongue exploring him, tentatively with such restrains touches him. Those lips that are pressed against his poured a sweet river of burning honey down to the very centre of his being…fueling the strange heat that was beginning to churn below his guts and encouraging the sensation of arousal. Fay couldn't help but moan and whimpered into the kiss as he fought to control the rising tide of desire swiping through him, numbing his mind and making his movements lucid. He clang on tighter to Kurogane's hands as he pressed his upper body flushed against that well-defined torso, and that made him dizzier because he could now feel the incredible scorching heat transferring from Kurogane's body to his.

Fay couldn't decide if he was burning in hell or if he was being pleasured in heaven.

Kurogane could barely rein in his control when he heard the blonde whimpered in need; his mind was awash with a sudden spike of hormones, adrenaline and endorphins. The sensation of arousal was pushing his manhood to a painful erection. He panicked for a second because it was not a respond he wanted to encourage from his body. He wanted to take things slow and hopefully not scare the blonde too badly with his ardent advances and with little luck, to not let the blonde remember anything traumatic from the past. But all was lost when he felt the blonde pushed against him. He groaned out his helplessness as his hands left the blonde's neck and plunged into the silky mess of golden strands, pulling Fay ever closer to him. He groaned again when the blonde showed no signs of resistance to his aggressive gesture.

They might have advanced further into something more private and passionate, an act that had to be performed behind closed doors if not for the timely intervention of Sakura…whom both men had forgotten was in the apartment.

"Oh…oh…I…er…I didn't know…" Sakura sputtered as she absorbed the scene presented infront of her. The compromising position of the two men told her everything she needed to know, and in the background she thought she heard Kurogane muttering expletives with heavy breathes as he pulled away from the delicious warmth of the blonde.

Fay froze in embarrassment as he stared wide-eyed at Sakura's shock expression. He really had not plan on her learning about them in such a manner. He was vaguely aware of Kurogane reaching out beside him for a pillow to cover his loins as he stood up slowly.

He blushed some more when he realized the reason why.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Sakura was having trouble suppressing the tremors racking though her body; it was just too amusing she mused to herself as she looked at the two men with tomato red faces sitting infront of her. She was really beyond surprised to learn how far their relationship had developed and about Kurogane's sexual orientation. She found it hard to believe that he could be interested in a man after all the women he had been with. Perhaps it was possible if one lived in constant proximity with someone as beautiful as Fay, it was a shallow thought but who could resist those alluring, enigmatic features? She also can't help feeling a little offended that Kurogane had emitted those details from her.

"So…care to share with me on what's going on?" She asked with a mischievous smirk.

Kurogane didn't deign to answer and threw her a glare that would have…would have…most men trembling at their knees. She waved it off with another smirk and turned to the blonde instead but she changed her mind when she noticed how tensed and uncomfortable he was.

"Look…," Kurogane said with an exasperated huff "whatever you saw today, you will not speak of it to my mother. I really don't need her to know about this."

"What am I supposed to say when I don't know anything?" Sakura replied with an ignorant shrug of her shoulders.

"There's a lot you don't know about Daniel and I hope you'll not treat him any differently after hearing what I'll be telling you…"

"Hey, I don't discriminate against gays alright…"

"It's not that…," Kurogane said as he turned and directed the line of his conversation towards Fay "would you be agreeable, if I were to tell her about your past? I think she has the right to know."

Fay looked at Kurogane as he considered the question and the consequences of letting yet another person learned about such confidential information regarding his past; would it be against the agreement that got him here in the first place?

"Will you be ok with it?" Kurogane asked again.

Fay searched for the strength he had learned to draw from those crimson eyes. He wanted to regain the faith lost earlier and he nodded his agreement.

He will trust whoever Kurogane trusts.

"I'll leave you alone to speak to Sakura then?" he asked politely, knowing that they would have other things to catch up on after her trip.

"No…stay with us…we can't talk about you without you around." Kurogane replied as he reached across the empty space and grabbed Fay's hand, giving a light squeeze of reassurance.

Sakura watched the interaction with an incredible sense of fondness; she might hold slight skepticism regarding Kurogane's feelings toward the blonde. But the look that he has in his eyes right now…that expression…she couldn't doubt that.

She could tell that the red eye man was really serious this time.

"Ok, I'm ready now…spill everything and don't leave out the juicy details." She said cheerfully, not knowing the tragic tale that was about to be revealed to her.

Sakura left the apartment building with a strange melancholy surrounding her. She was sure the reaction was caused by the blonde's tragic past. She couldn't imagine how anyone would have survived so much suffering, humiliation and guilt. She couldn't deny the horror she felt when she was told that Fay has been convicted of murder but that horror disappeared after she learned what had brought on that tragic incident. A newfound respect towards the blonde welled up within her, sympathy was aplenty but she was sure Fay needed none of it. He must be burdened enough with the blood of his parents on his hands. But what a burden it was for such a gentle, frail soul…

She wiped at the tears that had welled up at the corner of her eyes and scoffed at herself for crying. How could she be so weak when she has yet to experience life's bitterness? Life and humanity…they hold such irony and such torment…but see past the present and the confusing intervals in between, one will see hope lingering beyond the silver lining. She wished with her heart that Fay would be able to really leave behind those intimate sorrows and embrace the new life that Kurogane had offered to him.

And while bestowing her blessings to her dear friends, she in turn promised herself to live a better life and to stop taking things for granted because she knows now not everybody has the opportunity to lead a happy one. Not everyone was lucky to live through life untainted…

TBC

Meeting of Sorts

Asami glanced at the woman with a hooded gaze…trouble…it was radiating from all over her. He did not like her one bit and he had to wonder just why the Tsukasa boy was so enamored with her.

"Just what are you after?" he asked in a clipped tone.

Yuuko flinched from the man's cold tone; she was not enjoying this encounter one bit. It bothers her more to know that she will be under the protection of such a cold man. But there was no doubt about the power and influence this man holds, and right now, he was her only lifeline.

"Don't complicate things…I've ever only wanted the rights to my own life."

"Don't you think it's too heavy a price to pay for your youthful foolishness? I know your story Yuuko…you were too greedy from the start. Now, just because you've grown a conscience, you think that everything can be as simple as walking away?" Asami asked as he sat back on his leather armchair. The imposing elegance of the furniture only enhanced his coldness and commending stature.

"If you're talking Gin giving up his clan for my sake, I'll have you know that I've never asked that of him…and I never will ask it from him," Yuuko replied "and you do not have the right to place such harsh judgments on me when you're also a vermin of this society."

"Do not speak to me as such at least my motives are clear to everyone." Asami said as his voice descended into a freezing whisper.

Yuuko held her breathe as she looked away, she knew she had pushed too far. She flinched and retreated further into her seat when she saw Asami stand and walked towards her general direction. But Asami only walked past her with a dark smirk on his face.

"You should leave now…Takaba's here. He won't be happy to see a woman alone with me."

Yuuko gasped as she noticed the soften expression and a ghost of a smile as the name Takaba was spoken, it left her with no doubt who that person might be to Asami. It also left her feeling a bit awed that anyone can manage to capture a heart as cold and jaded as Asami's, to be able to warm up such a harden soul…now that person must have immense tenacity and spirit to withstand Asami's overwhelming presence and aura.

She was just about to take her leave when she saw a young man with piercing brownish amber eyes dressed in skinny black jeans, worn out canvas boots and a vintage tee shirt barging in through the door.

The young man threw a glance at her before striding infront of Asami, demanding in an insolent and somehow flirtatious tone on why and what was she doing here in the room when he had agreed on meeting him at this hour.

Asami looked at her, the dark smirk and mischievious glint in his eyes again…

She gave a small bow as she turned to leave.

Behind her, she heard the surprised gasp of the boy who just came in and a rough scuffling of clothes before the door closed.

There was no doubt that was Takaba…