Chapter 14

"Nope" Tsunade said with a smile. "With this marriage, all the five elemental nations are together in a pact to no longer wage war."

"Hi honey bear" Mei said flirtatiously

Naruto sighed. "Whatever. I am so done with this."

Temari's eyebrow rose. "I thought you'd throw a larger hissy-fit than that."

"Being married to 5 people isn't much different than being married to 4 people."

"Oh? How impersonal, my adorable little husband." Mei said with an eye twinkle. Chojuro and Ao sat quietly, just soaking in the situation.

"She's kinda scary." Fu whispered.

"Yeah, why's she talking to me like that? Isn't she a bit too old to be perving on a teenager?" Naruto asked

A tic marc formed on Mei's eyebrow. "My little husband… you know, you shouldn't comment on a woman's age."

"You shouldn't be married to me. I'm 13, I shouldn't be married to anybody."

"Well you seem to have failed stupendously on that front." She replied cheekily.

Naruto sweat dropped. "Whatever. I'm done. Hey granny?"

"Yeah brat? AND STOP CALLING ME GRANNY!" she yelled at him hotly

"How are the living arrangements going to work?" he asked, dismissing the accusing yell.

Cooling down, she replied "You are going to go around the elemental nations to visit your respective wives' country to train. Every five rotations, one of your wives' are going to come back to Konoha with you to train there."

"How often is a rotation?" Yugito asked.

"About a week or so."

"Isn't Mist in a civil war right now? Wouldn't it be kinda dangerous to go there?" Temari asked

"He'll stay at their main hidden camp. Mei has assured me that it's safe."

"When is this happening?"

"It was supposed to be implemented when Naruto woke up. Not knowing when or if he was going to wake up was going to be a bit of a problem, but it seems to have solved itself."

"Sooo… I'm leaving? Now?" Naruto asked.

"Your wives will be, but you need a bit of time to set your affairs here in Konoha." She looked at Naruto's wives. "You all get your stuff and get back here to teleport back to your countries." She pushed a little bit of chakra into a seal on her desk, alerting the hirashin team. "Naruto, you need to give me the report of your mission, sign off your ownership on your previous apartment, get your stuff, and get back here. You'll be going to Lighting with Yugito first."

"Can't I say goodbye to all my friends?"

"The vast majority are all on missions. I believe that the only person here among your friends in Hinata Hyuuga."

"Eh? Oh, then that's okay... I'll be fine."

"…You sure?"

"Yeah. I'm really sure."

"Okay. You four, dismissed." She said, referring to the four wives of Naruto

They all filed out the door with nary a complaint.

"Naruto. I need your report on the mission."

"Well, it's kinda hard to remember, but after I left Yugito and Kiba to that fish guy and the bone guy, I chased Sasuke-teme to a giant waterfall with two statues on either end. We fought for a bit, but then he used that weird curse seal, so I had to ask the Kyuubi for chakra so I could beat him."

"You asked?"

"Yeah, I'm asking him-it from now on."

"Okay, continue."

"We fought some more, but he turned into this weird monster thing. So I asked for more power from the Kyuubi. We fought some more, and our last blow knocked him out, and stabbed me in the chest. I was about to drag him home-"

"With a stabbed chest?" Mei asked.

"Yeah. Nothing's gunna keep this shinobi down." Naruto said, with a glinting smile and a thumb pointed in his direction.

"My my. My husband gets more attractive by the moment." Mei said lustfully.

Naruto sweat dropped and shuffled away from Mei. "After that, Sasuke's older brother came over, looked at me, and that's the last thing I remember."

"Itachi was there as well?" Tsunade began rubbing her temples. "Why does this shit keep happening to me?"

"You're complaining?"

"Yeah I'm complaining brat. I've had to broker a peace treaty between four leaders of hidden villages, convince them to place a hirashin seal tag on their hidden village, deal with the fallout of that shitty mission, tape the treaty back together using goodwill, spit and ducktape, and on top of all of that, I have to hear about you complaining about being married to four chicks! Five now!"

"Oh yeah? Well I've just learned that the person who sealed the giant Kyuubi in my gut was my dad, who was the fourth hokage, that I'll never get to fall in love, that I'll always be married to not only a person, but people who will never get to feel love as well, and that I'm the main cause that they all got seriously hurt!"

"Should we give you some time alone?" Ao asked.

"No, you stay. We still have some things to work out. You, go over to your apartment and sign in off, everything has already been boxed while you were comatose. Pack up everything that you might need, and meet back here, on the double."

"I'm still injured."

"No you're not, you're just tired, and you need to move around some more."

Naruto exited the building, grumbling all the way.

"My my. What a tempered husband I have."

"Well at least your husband hunting days are over." Ao said with a smile. Usually he would be threatened with death for even remotely mentioning her love life, but it seemed that her troubles were over, so that would make it okay to comment on it.

Mei's form got cloaked in a black, viscous aura. Her eyes shone red, and, while smiling, she whispered "Ao, shut up. Or I'll kill you."

He promptly cringed and scooted away from her. "Why did you get mad?!" he squealed. "They are!"

"Ao, you shouldn't comment on a woman who is sensitive about her love life. How she feels about marriage is her deal, and hers alone." Chojuro added tentatively.

Her face turned suddenly to Chojuro, without changing the harshness of its nature. "Chojuro, shut up. Or I'll kill you."

He too cringed away from Mei.

Tsunade began rubbing her temples. 'Why are all the strongest shinobi the weirdest?'

In the distance, Tsunade faintly heard a scream of 'Youth.'

00000000

At Naruto's apartment.

Naruto looked around. He was standing in the home that he had lived in all his life. The place that held him, gave him somewhere to sleep, and protected him from the outside. And this was the last time he was going to see it.

He sedately moved to the bed, and sat down on it.

All his time being awake recently, had been taken up with learning about new things that majorly affected his life, spending time with his wives, or being sent on a mission. He hadn't had any time to actually sit down and think. Not that he usually does that sort of thing, but still, he needed some peace and quiet.

And that's what he got, until Jiraya opened the window and jumped inside. "Hiya brat!"

Naruto turned to look at him, not being phased in the slightest. "Hey Pervy-sage." He said flatly.

"Eh, what's wrong with my bundling barrel of joy?"

"Why are you so happy?"

"Because I'm so proud that my little boy bagged a cougar." He wiped a fake tear from one of his eyes.

"Perv, I am so not in the mood right now."

His face turned serious. "What's wrong brat?"

"I just…" Naruto was having trouble articulating his words "I just feel like the world's been going really fast. Serious, major things have just been happening, with no time to adjust, with no time to wonder if that change is for the better. I just wish that things would slow down."

Jiraya sat down on the bed with Naruto. "Yeah brat, I hear ya. But hey, at least everyone else in the village can empathize with you a little now."

"What?"

"No more war, trade agreements a plenty, the odium of their hate turns out to be the only thing holding it together, and on top of that, he's the son of the most revered hokage ever. Things are changing rapidly, and everyone has to cope with it."

"Are all the people married to four- no, five strangers? Are they all unable to find love?" Naruto said vindictively

"What are you going on about not being able to find love? I'm sure that you'll find it brat."

"But I can't be with anyone outside my wives."

"So don't. That Fu girl looks like she likes you, and so does that Yugito, and that Kurotsuchi."

"But I don't love them, and I am extremely sure that they don't love me."

"But you might, and they might. Kid, love isn't a singular thing, you won't feel love for only one person in your lifetime. Things change, and you have to cope. If you won't be able to find love outside your wives, try to find it inside your wives."

Naruto sat in thought for a while. "Love is weird."

Jiraya started guffawing, scaring Naruto at the suddenness of it. "You got that right kid. Love is a weird, cruel, fucked up mistress. But, being human, you have to find some way to please her."

"But what about them? If I can't date outside the marriage, I doubt they can as well. If I fall in love with one of them, the rest will be alone for the rest of their lives."

"Who said that you have to love just one?"

"Huh?"

"Listen kid, it's been said once, twice, and multiple times over, but you are in a unique situation. Do you think that they haven't thought about that? I can guarantee you that they all have."

"But isn't it wrong to be with multiple people?"

"Says the kid with five wives."

"You know what I mean, you pervert."

Jiraya sat in silence for a while before continuing. "If they acknowledge it, and they all are okay with it. I don't see why you can't be with all of them."

Naruto sat in silence as well. "What about Yugito and Mei? They're a lot older than I am."

"Well once you begin to bridge that gap, I doubt they'll have much of a problem being with you as well."

Naruto sweatdropped. "People don't age at different frequencies, pervert."

"The difference between a 13 year old and a 28 year old, is a lot larger than the difference between a 17 year old and a 32 year old."

"But still…"

"But it's a unique situation, and everyone's going to have to learn to deal with it in their own way."

They sat there for a moment longer. "Thanks pervert. I actually kind of feel better now. Even if I doubt that they'd all agree to date me all at the same time."

"There's nothing that perversions can't fix." Jiraya said with a glint of the teeth.

Naruto looked at Jiraya flatly. "There are so many reasons why that is false." Naruto got up, and went over to the clipboard that was meant to sign his apartment down on one of the boxes close to him, and started signing its release.

"I'm really going to miss this place." Naruto looked up suddenly, in realization. "Where am I going to put all my stuff? I'll be going around to new houses every week. I can't take this stuff."

Jiraya got up as well. "I'll just seal it all for you."

"You can do that?"

"Kid, you'd be surprised at what sealing could do."

"I'll have to learn some on my training circuit."

Jiraya began to wordlessly seal away the boxes into various sealing scrolls. "Hey kid?"

"Yeah, perv-sage."

"I think that you should give up on Sasuke."

That statement hit him like a train. "Why?"

"Because so long as you chase him, you will never feel happy."

"Look, pervy-sage, he's one of the very few people in this world who knows how I feel. We're on the same team, and I am going to get him back.'

"He'll never go willingly with you."

"Then I'll just break his legs, and drag him back." Naruto said immediately

"… So long as you try to bring someone consumed with vengeance back to where you think that person's home is, you will never be happy and neither will he. People with vengeance don't perceive anything as being their home, as anyone worth coming home to."

"And how would you know?"

"Sasuke acted almost synonymously with how Orochimaru acted when he deserted. Kid, you are surrounded by people who have felt what you have felt. Why don't you just plug up that hole that Sasuke left with them?"

"Like how you use sake and women?" he said vindictively

"Exactly like how I use sake and women! These things distract me from the feeling of emptiness that being a shinobi for as long as I have gets you. But you have actual people. Actual people who you can love and be loved by. Actual people who can distract you from that pain."

"I'm not going to feel that pain. Because I refuse to give up. Because that's my ninja way."

"This world is surrounded with pain. Even with all the major ninja villages coming together and deciding not to kill each other anymore, there will be pain, there will always be pain."

"Then I'll do my best to eradicate that pain."

Jiraya looked at Naruto with widened eyes, but quickly looked back down. "I still think you should give up on Sasuke. But you won't back down and neither will I. So promise me one thing kid."

"What?"

"Get stronger, so you'll never feel the pain that Sasuke will shove on you."

Naruto nodded his head. "I'll get stronger and I'll get Sasuke back."

Jiraya got back up, and handed the bunch of scrolls on to Naruto. "You better get back to Tsunade. I've heard that cloud is lovely around this season."

"How do you know I'm going to cloud?"

"I'm not known as a renowned shinobi spymaster for nothing, you know."

"Whatever you say, pervert."

00000000

House that Naruto and co. occupied

Yugito was having a tough time. This was mostly due to the fact that she had been relegated as Kurotsuchi's aide, and was forced to carry her up the stairs, cook for her, seal all her stuff, and talk to her as company. It was the last one that really grated on her nerves, however.

"I cannot wait for when he switches over to Iwa."

'I don't care.' Yugito was currently folding Kurotsuchi's clothes, and preparing them to be sealed into a scroll, while Kurotsuchi was venting from her reclined position on her twin bed.

"I am so going to get him back for making my pops think that I want his kids."

'It was your own damn fault'

"I'm going to cement him in the middle of Iwa, and leave him there for the day."

'That's really harsh.'

"Or I'm going to sneak into his shower."

'How bold.'

"And spray him with quicklime"

'How cruel.'

"Or I'll slice him up just a little during our training"

'You are slightly deranged.'

"Or I might just get to 'accidentally' castrate him."

'You are extremely deranged.'

Yugito decided to but in. "Don't you think that you're being a little harsh?"

"That kid has been nothing but trouble to me ever since I met him."

"What's he done?"

"He dyed all my clothes pink."

"You declothed him in front of his friends."

"He's the reason I almost died."

"You volunteered for that mission along with the rest of us."

"My dad think's I want his kids."

"That's your own damn fault!"

Kurotsuchi sighed in exasperation. "There's just something about his face that I don't like."

"Well maybe if you gave him a chance…"

"Who are you, his mother?"

"I'm just a non-involved person who's looking at a tsundere doing the equivalent of writing love sonnets."

"I'm not a tsundere!"

"Yes you are. You have trouble externalizing you affections to our little, blond haired husband, and mistakingly convert that into physical, and verbal abuse."

Kurotsuchi looked personally offended "I have no affection for him whatsoever."

"So you say Pinkutsuchi." Even Yugito was getting in on the fun of calling Kurotsuchi by her nickname.

"So I say. And stop calling me that."

"Will you admit to being a tsundere?"

"But I'm not a tsundere."

"Says the Pinkutsuchi in denial."

"AAAARRRRG. I swear, he's turning you into him through osmosis."

Yugito blushed slightly. "W-What do you mean by that?"

"Oh please, I know that you snuck into the hospital to cuddle with him in his comatose state."

"I've been having trouble sleeping" Yugito defended indignantly

"So you cuddle a person who's comatose?"

"Yes." Yugito replied, without missing a beat.

"That's not a good thing."

"But… he's really cuddly." Yugito replied monotonously

"How cuddly is he that you sneak out of the house, break into a fucking hospital, and cuddle up to him while he's in a coma?"

"Have you ever slept with him?"

Kurotsuchi blushed at the not so hidden meaning in that question. "Not all of us are so willing to sleep with the first guy we're arranged into a marriage with."

"Well he's really cuddly." Yugito's monotonous replies were getting slightly creepy.

Kurotsuchi sweatdropped. "So I've picked up."

Yugito finished folding Kurotsuchi's clothes, and sealed them into the scroll. She then proceeded to pick Kurotsuchi up from her spot on the bed, and put her in piggyback position.

While Kurotsuchi continued to vent, she went downstairs to meet up with Temari and Fu. They all left for administration together.

"What took you guys so long?" Temari asked.

"We were having a discussion." Kurotsuchi stated.

"More like you were venting your relationship problems to me."

"We're in the same relationship. I'm venting our problems."

"People perceive different things to be different problems."

Kurotsuchi deadpanned. "What's your relationship with him anyway?"

"He's… my… husband?" Yugito said, unsure of what the question was asking.

"No, I mean… how do you perceive him?"

"As… my… husband?"

"You think of him as your husband?"

"…Yes?"

"Okay, I'm not explaining this properly. I don't think of his as my husband because we don't do and haven't done anything that a married couple should have gone through. To me, he's just the guy that I'm shackled up with for life. What is your… emotional connection with him?"

"He's a precious person-"

"-Who you're going to protect. Yeah I've heard this all before. My dad is a person precious to me, and I'm going to protect him. Precious people can be anyone to you. What is he to you?"

"Why are you asking this so suddenly?"

"I was joking around when I started calling you a shotacon, but now I am genuinely worried that you're going to jump his prick."

Yugito started to blush. "I'm not going to force myself on him, he's 13… and, I guess that he's kind of like a little brother to me." She decided.

Fu decided that this was the most opportune time to interrupt. "I know what he is to me. He's my friend."

"I don't know him well, but he did save my brother from insanity. So I'm not going to immediately write him off." Temari said.

"Huh" Kurotsuchi didn't say another word until they hit administration.

The all met up with Tsunade, Mei, and her escorts at the administration room, where they were forced to wait some more for the hirashin team

"You know Mei, maybe you shouldn't tease the kid." Ao said.

"Why? He's just so adorable when he gets flustered."

"That wasn't him being flustered. That was him being worried by his surroundings."

Mei sighed. "Okay, I'll stop teasing him. Honestly, there's not a thing that's fun that I get to do anymore."

"You are the leader of the rebellion. The people are supposed to look up to you. Which means that you can't sexually tease children."

"But he's my husband."

"But he's a child."

Mei sighed again, but remained quiet.

"So why did you decide to offer yourself for this marriage thing?" Temari asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you have any underlings that would have made for better candidates?"

"Well you were all chosen either because you are related to the kage, or you're a really influential individual in your village. The rebellion doesn't have that. Or at least any women that would fit the role. So I offered myself."

"How old are you really?" Kurotsuchi asked "Like, shouldn't you be more worried that you're shackled to a child for the rest of your life."

"I'm 28."

"Really? You look more… mature than 28."

"Should you really be mocking the kage level shinobi about her age?" Mei said with her sweetest smiles

"No no. you just look mature. Like you've lived longer."

"This isn't making me feel any less want to melt you."

"No, it's just that you're really hot in a more mature way." Kurotsuchi said quickly

Mei's overtly sweet smile became slightly less overt. "Thanks. I think. And to answer your other question, I'm sure that he's going to grow up to be an absolutely ravishing specimen."

Tsunade sweatdropped. "If I hear any reports of unwanted sexual advances, this deal is off."

Mei waved Tsunade off. "I know, I know. Age of consent."

Tsunade's sweatdrop enlarged, and was about to admonish Mei, but was interrupted by the hirashin team all suddenly coming into being.

"What happened? Why did it take so long for you to arrive?" Tsunade asked

"I was taking a nap." Genma replied.

Tsunade got a tic mark on her forehead. "I gave you one job! One! Stay on standby for the hirashin if I need to transport dignitaries across nations. And you fucked that up!"

Genma didn't look very affected by the kage level shinobi yelling at him. "I'm sorry. The technique takes a lot out of you."

She stood up "You haven't been used for weeks."

"I've been mentally disposed as of late."

"With what?"

"I'm not at liberty to say."

Tsunade looked to be on the verge of breaking her desk… again. But she managed to reign in her anger. Sitting down, she said "if it happens again, you're demoted to chunin."

"Fair enough."

Naruto busted through the doorway carrying a bundle of sealing scrolls. "Heya granny." He took stock of the situation. "I thought you said that everyone'd be gone by now."

"They were supposed to be, but this asshat" She pointed to Genma. "Was mentally disposed."

"Okay. I have no idea what that means."

"None of us do. Get in the formation and send Yugito and Naruto to cloud." Tsunade barked towards the bodyguard unit.

They all scrambled to do so. After getting into the triangular formation, Genma said to Naruto and Yugito "Get in."

Naruto and Yugito walked in between the group with trepidation. "Clench your stomach." Genma warned, then they immediately activated the jutsu.

It was really disorienting. It's not that there was some sensation of the universe pulling you or something like that. He was looking at one thing, and then everything changed into something else in the blink of an eye.

But Naruto didn't blink. So when he got whisked away to Cloud, he immediately stumbled out of the triangular formation, and fell onto the Raikage's desk, hitting his head and knocking him out cold.

To be fair, Yugito didn't fare much better with her stumbling backwards and landing on her ass.

This was the scene that almost scared Ai into defecating himself. 'Why did I put that seal in my office?' he thought to himself.

The Hirashin Team vanished again, with no report of what happened, as it was rather obvious. Ai looked at Yugito crawling back up from the ground and ordered "Report."

After she managed to stand back up, she professionally replied "Naruto Uzumaki woke up from his coma, so the Hokage ordered that he immediately be sent to Cloud in order to start his training circuit."

Ai leaned over his desk to look at the Uzumaki that was currently drooling on the ground in front of his desk. "And then he managed to knock himself out again." Yugito finished

Ai rubbed his temples and sighed. "I guess his training starts tomorrow."

Yugito walked to the aforementioned Uzumaki, and picked him up. "I'll take him to my home." Ai nodded his head.

Yugito's house was close to administration, so it only took an opened window, a few hops, and she was there with her new husband. Climbing in through the window, she was met with her apartment's Spartan interior that had collected a bit of dust since her excursion to Konoha. She walked over to her bed, and plopped Naruto down on it.

Her bed was one of the few luxuries that she allowed herself. It was a queen, with a heated blanket, and a large amount of fluffy pillows. It didn't fit in at all with the rest of her bare apartment, but she didn't care. It was comfortable, but after discovering that she was a cuddler, she had been having trouble sleeping, and knew that when Naruto was away, she would have trouble finding rest.

But that didn't matter now. It was afternoon, Naruto was fast asleep on her bed, and she didn't have anything better to do.

It didn't matter if she managed to cuddle with Naruto while he was in the hospital. Waiting for all her housemates to fall asleep, sneaking out of the house, and waking yourself up before anyone in the hospital noticed didn't allow for much shut-eye.

So she decided to catch up on her sleep, and after changing to her pajama's, she crawled in bed with him.

She had really missed her bed. It was so comfortable, and that combined with the Naruto she had to cuddle up with sent her to blissful sleep almost immediately.