A/N: *dies* one…hundred…reviews… I never thought I would make it this far! ^^

Alright, before we get started, I need to start a poll. After Seven Reasons is done, I have a few different choices – most likely all of them will be done, but I need to sort out priorities.

The Vampire and the Dragon Lord: The story of Ed and Al, vampire siblings, and their involvement in a war against Envy the Dragon Lord. I will probably rewrite this – what I have isn't that good, but the plot is too good to pass up :P

Brother: Ed and Envy – twin brothers? Needs to be rewritten for more plot and IC-ness, but once again, too good to pass up. Besides, people like it :P

Unky Stub: The homunculi weren't always perfect, and there were a lot more than seven. Meet the dysfunctional family of Love, Malady and Stubbornness. 'Just call me Stub!' A story about Ed and his weird undead Uncle. XD

Genies of the Lamp: In which there are two genies who hate 'Aladdin' almost as much as they hate each other, the princess sics Black Hayate on suitors and the Grand Vizier is a lesbian. Royai and EdEn Aladdin-style AU. Yes, Ed and Envy are the genies XD

Welcome to this Nightmare: Another AU with Ed in an insane asylum, Envy the sociopath and various other ailments. Set in the 1960's, inspired by Girl, Interrupted.

Reborn and Hating It: Ed and Al are home, Alfons is enjoying Amestris, and everything's happy again. Until, of course, a couple of reincarnated homunculi ruin everything. Typical.

mEMoRy aNd LIeS: My first Al/Wrath story – Al wakes up from his coma, five years of memories gone. Wrath is there to pick up the pieces…and put them together the way he wants them. But his fantasy world can't last forever. Al/Wrath, EdEn.

Flower Fire Mechanic Monster: Elric-less and het (omg het for once XD) Envy is finally captured, but it costs Roy his arm. Winry gives him a new one and Roy gets more than he bargained for. Roze finally gets the chance to avenge her hometown, and enters a possibly fatal game with the oldest homunculus of them all.

Love You Too Late: Urk. Winds of Water already did this idea in a oneshot (fuck) but I want to do a full story. Ed and Al's prices for another passage through the Gate are not to be paid in the Gate itself, but in a strange place and time. However, they didn't realize that they'd have teenaged Roy, Riza and Maes to deal with…

And, with no further ado…on to the story! (New Girl in Town = Hairspray soundtrack :D)

Chapter 14

Envy

New Girl in Town

"Yo, Ed! I thought you didn't swing that way?" Russell's cheery voice drifts towards us.

Ed scowls at me. "You're fucking evil." He pushes me off as Russell catches up to us.

"So what's up? And who's this?"

I blush demurely. "My name's Julia, Julia Vasquez. I'm going to be starting school at Central High tomorrow. My cousin Sharon and I are staying with the Elrics for now, because our parents are still trying to sell our houses." I am mentally patting myself on the back.

"Y-you're staying with Ed?" Russell seems quite nonplussed, and I wonder how long it will take for him to figure it out. I know I can trust Havoc, but I am not going to tell any of the other staff members. Three can keep a secret, but what about four? Five? Six?

"Look, there's nothing going on – you know that better than anyone! Except maybe Roy," Ed amended.

"She knows about -?"

"Yes. You're an idiot, Russell." I hide a grin and cross my arms.

"You know, you look a lot like Envy. Dammit, I hope he's okay…" Russell scowled. "The stupid idiot didn't even come to any of us…bahhhhhh stupid incompetent police still haven't found him…"

I cough discreetly. "He's probably hiding in plain sight."

"Huh?" Russell cocks his head, staring at me - and then he gets it. "Oh. Oh! Oh my. I-Impressive. How the fuck did you do that?"

I grin. "Ask him. It was his idea." I point to Ed, who sighs and looks up at the sky pleadingly.

"So, Julia, does this mean you're g- straight?"

"No." I am not ready to declare myself either way yet – I am already regretting telling Elysia about my doubts, after the horrifying email I received from Kimbley. "I'm doing what I must to conceal my whereabouts from the authorities until the appropriate time with this disguise, that's all."

Russell snickers. "Talking like that, you'll be sniffed out within a week. You're doing better with contractions, though. Just ditch the big words."

I put my hand on my hip. "What, too big for your tiny brain?" I poke him in the chest and smirk up at him. "And I'll do what I need to, to be a convincing girl. Although since you know better…"

Ed coughs, and I pull back. Russell is bright red, almost the same colour as Havoc was, and I mentally berate myself for flirting – again.

"Ah…what just happened?" asks the taller blond, totally nonplussed. The shorter of the two sighs.

"Julia seems to have an affinity for teasing."

"Ah." Russell raises an eyebrow. "Oh, I cannot wait for your first day of school."

OOoOoOoOOo

I look around, pretending to be lost. Ed takes my arm and leads me to the locker I have been assigned, both of us breathing hard from the ordeal in the office. I refuse to go into details, but between being suffocated between ridiculously large muscles and being heavily interrogated about what goes on in Ed's house, it was unpleasant.

My locker is right between Winry and Ling, and I clip my new lock on, pretending to be the shy new student. However, my attempt to be unnoticed does not work.

"Hey there." Ling puts a hand against his locker. "I haven't seen you around."

"I'm new."

"Oh? Need someone to show you around?"

"N-no, Ed promised to show me where to go…"

"Yeah, Russell told me you were staying with him. But a cute girl like yourself shouldn't spend all her time with one person. You won't meet any new people that way! What's your first class?"

"French."

"Hey, my Spanish class is right next door. I'll take you there. You good at French?"

"Très bon, merci. Et tu?"

He chuckles. "Um…"

"Guess not."

"Un petit peu…"

I raise an eyebrow, then offer my hand. "My name's Julia, Julia Vasquez."

"Ling Yao." He tips a barely imperceptible wink. Fuck. He knows. Or maybe he is just hitting on me. I nearly roll my eyes – Ling is the only one of our group who hits on members of either sex equally. For some reason, Russell always gets mad when Ling starts flirting, but I have kept my comments to myself.

French is followed by Gym, which presents its own problems.

"Oh hey, uh…Julia, right?" Winry pulls off her white shirt nonchalantly in the changeroom. I stand there, unsure what to do. "I'm Winry, Winry Rockbell. I noticed Ling putting the moves on you – ignore him. He's just a stupid flirt. He creeps me out."

I decide to disappear into the washroom to change. Splashing my face with water, I try to burn the images of half-naked girls out of my head, to no avail.

"Hey, what are you doing in here?" I snap my head around. Edward March, a boy eerily similar to Ed except with shorter, lighter hair and a less vibrant dress style, is staring at me.

Fuck. I'm in the boys' washroom. Fuckfuckfuck.

"Uh…me no speeka English good…"

He smiles warmly. "It's okay. The girl's washroom is right next door."

"You no tella anyone?" I am bright red, but rather enjoying the acting.

"Course I won't. Now get out before some less friendly boys see you here." He chuckles, and I make my escape into the other washroom, into a stall, and quickly changing into gym clothes.

"You're late, Julia."

"Sorry, Ms. Wyler." I sit down in the circle for Gym. Note to self: pretend to be ESL wherever Edward March is concerned.

At lunch, I sit next to Ed and slam my head against the table. "Never again."

"Never again what, Julia?" asks Ed. Before I can answer, Ling sits down across from me, and I kick him viciously.

"You damned idiot."

"What? What did I do? Julia? Julia, talk to me!" Ling puts on a comical sad face, making me laugh in spite of myself.

"Ling, do you know?"

"Know what?" Oh shit, is that his hand? I hiss, "It's a certain AWOL friend of yours, now stop that!"

Ling doesn't stop, only grins wider. "Why should I?"

What is currently wrong with this scenario? One. I'm being molested by a friend under the cafeteria table. Two. He didn't do a thing when he realized I was a boy. Or rather, myself. (Although, to be fair, this is indeed Ling.) Three. My other friends are laughing.

I slam my knees together, catching his hand between them.

"OW! FUCK!" He withdraws his throbbing hand, clutching it in pain. "That hurt!"

"Then stop molesting me."

"Awww, you don't really mind, do you, Julia-chan?" He smirks, and I feel my face grow hot.

Alfons on my other side is snickering. He leans in and mutters, "Oh, and you're not a fag like the rest of us?"

"No!" My face belies my words, and I know it. I glance down. "Maybe."

"C'mon, you can do better than tha-at…" teases Russell.

"YES, I'M GAY, NOW SHUT THE HELL UP!" The entire cafeteria falls silent, staring at me. Including Edward March.

"Uh, gay mean 'happy', no?" I smile sweetly. Slowly, the rest of the school goes back to their previous activities. I bang my head against the table again.

"Nice save," mutters Ed.

"Fuck you."

A/N: *pff* *dies by choking on Wonka Nerds* I loved writing this chap…It took me a while to get started, but Envy the crossdresser is LUV! The girl's washroom part is totally inspired by Miniskirt Army of One. *kudos to the writer of that fic* and the ESL part is credited to Ling in FMA:Brotherhood. "Me no speeka your language – bai!" I think he's the most IC of them all in this fic XD

Alright, within the next few chapters, we'll have a completely different viewpoint ^^ I haven't decided whether to do Wrath, Greed, Lust, Roy or Elysia. Lemme know who you want to hear from, 'kay?

Me: Envy gets the prize for best actor! Good job! *hands him trophy*

Envy: Fuck that – wait a minute, tis sharp…*kills Ed*

SR Envy: Hey you, you can't just go and do that!

Envy: Why not?

SR Envy: Because…uh…you know what? Go ahead.

Ed: HEY!

Ling: Julia-chaaaan, don't be so meeean!