Chapter 13:
Zexion's POV
I lay in my bed, anxiousness twisting my insides. Was Vexen going to be okay? He wasn't looking so good the last I saw him, over an hour ago. Xemnas and Xaldin are doing everything they can to save him. They even used some of Arina medical herbs to held stabilize him. Arina would've defiantly let them use them in a situation like this.
Arina, how would I be able to tell Vexen if he pulls through? Arina and him were inseparable. I rolled onto my side, making me wince in pain. My wounds weren't that serious; they were just a couple scratches and one small gash on my arm. I closed my eyes and try to make the nervousness in my stomach melt away.
It's almost impossible to try to get some rest when you're worried about someone you care about. I wish I could help Vexen, but I'm not Arina. I can't heal and I don't have any medical experience what so ever. I hate feeling so helpless! I grip my pillow harder and finally drift off into a short, troubled sleep.
"Zexion, wake up," Someone tells me as he or she shakes me slightly.
I open my eyes and see Xigbar standing over me. I couldn't have been asleep for more than twenty minutes in my state. I sit up on my bed and stretch. I turn to face Xigbar, the look in his golden eyes tell me everything.
"What happened to Vexen?" I asked, almost scared of his response.
Xigbar looks at the ground. "See for yourself," He tells glumly me as he walks out of my room.
Dread twists my insides as I follow him towards Vexen's room. I have a feeling that he might be dead, but Xigbar just doesn't want to say it. We walk into Vexen's room where Xemnas and Xaldin are gathered. My insides get even more twisted with emotions when I spot Vexen lying in his bed.
He looks like he's on the verge of death. He skin is as white as snow; even his hair hangs over his face in almost bleach-blonde strands over his closed eyes. His chest rises and falls as he draws in slow, steady breaths. It's also covered in slightly bloodstained bandages, so is his forearm and his right hand. A dark blue blanket is pulled over his pale, feeble body.
"Is he okay?" I ask, panic rising in my voice.
Xemnas looks at the ground. "I'm not a doctor…I really don't know. He could be in a coma for all we know. Xaldin and I managed to stabilize him, for now at least. The best I can do for now is ease the pain, so he can rest a bit easier," He explained. "Vexen also went far beyond his limit, which put another strain on him. He's probably exhausted,"
I feel tears well up in my eyes. "He'll get better, right?" I hope.
Xemnas is silent again. "If he can pull through the next three days, he'll be okay," He replies as he pulls the blanket up to Vexen's collarbone.
I sigh in, almost, complete relief. I glance at Vexen again, lying there so weak. I wish none of this had ever happened. If it didn't Arina would still alive, Vexen wouldn't be fighting for his life, and, and, and…I feel a couple tears run down my face. It's been years since that last time I cried. I remember ten years ago, I would try not cry because I would feel inferior to everyone else.
More and more tears rolled down my cheeks. I can feel everyone staring at me, in shock almost, but I don't care. I wish this never happened. For the past year, I've just wanted to find my memories of the organization. Instead, I get dragged into a prophecy I didn't even know I was in, and forced into battle against my own master. I've never wanted to feel this kind of emotional pain. I didn't even ask for any.
My heart is throbbing like mad, from overload emotions, I guess. Tears stain my face as I feel someone hold me close to them. I look up and see Xemnas, actually hugging me.
"It's okay, we're all worried about him. He'll be just fine, don't worry," He tried to comfort me, but him telling us he wasn't much of doctor didn't reassure me at all.
"…But what'll when he figure's that Ari's gone?" Xigbar brings up.
"It's best we not mention her. He'll probably forget-," Xaldin muttered.
"How can you be so cruel, Xaldin?" I yelled at him. "Arina was the world to Vexen, he won't forget about her easily! Those two were inseparable and they were separated by the cruel tides of fate! You don't that kind of pain…to be apart from the one you love and care about the most…" I added.
"Zexion is right," Xigbar agreed. "But who should tell him?"
I wiped my tears away with my sleeve. "I'll tell him, I've known him ever since I first I began my apprenticeship,"
I begin to walk out of the room, but I stop in the doorway. I turn around and glace at Vexen one more time. The evening light shines through the window making the shadows on Vexen's face shift. His pale skin almost shines in the moonlight.
Hold on, Vexen. Please pull through, I know you can. I prayed in my head.
That night…
I couldn't sleep at all that night. I tossed and turned all night. I couldn't get what Xemnas said out of my head:
"I'm not a doctor…I really don't know. He could be in a coma for all we know. Xaldin and I managed to stabilize him, for now at least. The best I can do for now is ease the pain, so he can rest a bit easier,"
"If he can pull through the next three days, he'll be okay,"
I turned onto my side and faced the window. The full moon shone brightly in the pitch-black sky. Dozen's of tiny golden stars were all around it, as if they were worshipping the moon as their god. Looking at stars made me think of Arina, which made me think of Vexen. He was put in this state because he wanted to save her, to avenge her. I could already feel the tears building up again, but I wipe them away roughly.
"Why…why did this need to happen? Why were we chosen for this?" I asked myself.
At that moment a golden star twinkles. My eyes dart around the night sky and that same star glimmers again. I hop out of bed and run over to the window. I swear I've gone mad, but I see a face in the sky. It's a girl with long side bangs; hair tied back in a high ponytail…its Arina! I rub my eyes and gaze at the moon again. I can only see its glowing white surface.
"Man, I MUST be going insane," I mumbled to myself as I crawl back into my bed.
Still, for that brief second I knew I saw her; same face, style of hair and everything. I close my eyes and finally drift into a troubled sleep. Even in my sleep, I couldn't escape my distressed thoughts…of Vexen and of my "hallucination". I think I might need to see a shrink after this.
The next day…
I spent my day watching Vexen at his bedside. He was in basically the same condition as yesterday, except his breathing was a bit smoother. I seem to enter a state of peace whenever I look at his peaceful face. He's always working so hard that it's almost impossible to imagine him when he's not rambling on about an experiment or discovery. Every now and then there's the slight wince of pain, but then it fades away quickly.
"Are you okay?" A voice mumbles.
I raise an eyebrow at this. Did Vexen just…mumble…in his sleep? As far as I'm concerned, Vexen never slept talk before. I can see a look of fear on his face, but then he rolls onto his side. I hear a groan of pain and then something else. I could quite hear it because he seemed to be muttering to himself.
"Vexen?" I wonder. "Are you awake?"
"No! No!" He yells out in his sleep. "Arina! No!"
At that moment I KNOW it's a bad dream. Scratch that, a horrible dream. I jumped onto my feet as Vexen turned over again, wincing in more pain. He must be in more pain than I can imagine right now. Vexen curls into a ball and grips his chest as a bloodstain begins to form. This isn't good at all.
"What's going on…? What have you done?"Vexen mumbled in pure terror.
"Vexen, snap out of it! It's a bad dream!" I yell at him, trying to wake him up.
"No that won't happen again, it won't!" He continues to scream.
"Vexen! Wake up! It's all in your head!" I yell shaking him slightly. "It's only a dream!"
After a couple moments of tense silence, Vexen seems to relax. I hear a groan of pain as he rolls back onto his back. I can fell tears well up in my eyes. Vexen's in so much pain and I can't do anything about it. I hate being helpless! I hate that feeling! You really want to help someone, but you just can't. My hand finds his and I grip it slightly. At that moment, tears start rolling down my cheeks again.
"Vexen, please…hold on. I know you can…stay strong, please…" My tears drip down my cheeks.
I feel someone squeeze my hand in return. I open my eyes at look at Vexen. His eyes are open slightly, but they're fluttering with the attempt to stay awake. Just trying to stay conscious is probably draining his strength. I can only stare at his green eyes, barely open, with shook on my face.
"Zexion…" Vexen tries to call to me, his voice barely a whisper. "I'll be…okay…don't…worry…about me…"He assures through his weak voice.
I can only stare at him. He squeezes my hand a bit harder, trying to comfort me like he did all those years ago. He opens his mouth to say something, but his eyelids are fluttering, barely able to stay open. Before he can say anything, his eyes close and he resumes his peaceful sleep.
I place my other hand on his chest, praying I'm not hurting him. I feel the steady thump…thump of his heartbeat. I sigh in relief and brush away the strands of hair that hang over his face. I gently take my hand away from his and dry my tears. I pull the blanket over him and walk out of his room before the tears can start again.
I cleaned up his chest wound and changed the bandages a bit later. His wounds still are pretty bad and from today's episode, it didn't make it any better. I can't help but notice one thing while I cleaned his wounds. I take a look at right hand, which was bandaged. I almost gasp in shock at what I see.
The two scratches on his palm were almost completely healed. The scratches were slightly pink and were almost gone. The burns on his wrist were also nothing but faded red marks.
"Im…Impossible…"I muttered to myself.
"What?" A voice startles me.
I jump and turn around. Roxas is standing in the doorway. He gives me a worried glance before he proceeds into the room. He peeks over my shoulder and looks at Vexen. He's still asleep and now he got a little bit of color to his face back, at least he's not death white anymore.
"Is Vexen okay?" He wondered.
"Pretty bad, you should've seen him yesterday. He looked like he was on the verge of death, he was so pale. He's doing slightly better than yesterday…but he woke up for a little bit…" I stop.
"He did?" Roxas gasped.
"He wasn't even awake for a minute. He barely had the strength to keep his eyes open," I replied. "Right now it's best that he should get some rest and regain his strength," I explain to him.
"What were you muttering about when I came in?" Roxas asked, finally meeting my eyes with his light blue orbs.
"One of his wounds…is almost fully healed already. It doesn't make any sense; He's only had these for a little less than twenty-four hours and its almost healed. See?" I show him Vexen's palm.
"It could have been there and just haven't noticed," Roxas pointed out.
"Maybe…or it could be something else…" My voice trails off. Could something else be healing his wounds?
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay…
But that's a not what gets me!
What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say, and watchin you walk away
And never knowing, what could've been
And not seein' that I'm loving you,
That's what I was trying to do
It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile when I see your old friends and I'm alone
Still harder
Getting' up, getting' dressed, living with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away, all the words that I saved, in my heart
That I left unspoken
What Hurts The Most By Rascal Flatts
Kingdom Hearts (C) Square Enix
Arina (C) Me
Part of one of the three emoest chapters I've ever written. The next few chapters are BEYOND depressing but read carefully and look for hints.