I was struck with the need for a cliffhanger. Short, but it will ultimately work better this way.
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Pavi showed up every week on Cynthia's days off. Jillian could tell when he was coming before he did by the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. She didn't know how long this had been going on. The only thing to show that time had passed at all was the decay of the flowers in the living room. One day they disappeared and she was sure that time had stopped.
The visits from Pavi varied from being vicious to being almost loving. Sometimes he would come and bring her flowers on his way somewhere else or stop by to hold her against him for an eternity and breathe in the scent of her hair. Those days were worse than the rest, but she dealt with them just the same.
She never refused him anything. She sat next to him on the couch, kissed him if he asked her to, poured him coffee or tea the way he wanted. In a twisted way she wondered if he must think that meant she loved him. The thought was enough to make her cringe. The only way she could survive was to become detached.
Jillian was there in the physical sense, but her mind and spirit were gone completely. Now she was just the shell of a dying soul.
One morning when she woke up, there was no one else around. The feeling of being alone took a while to sink in. When it finally reached her brain, she got an idea.
She was exhausted so her body took the liberty of pulling itself out of bed and into the kitchen. The locked cabinet next to the sink drew her closer, and she knew what was inside. A voice whispered to life inside her head.
"Open it. There's nobody around to see." Her hand hesitated just above the handle. "Come on!" The voice persisted angrily, whining. It started to sound like her mother. "He'll never leave you alone now, not with everything he's said. And you think I'd care? I have more important things to worry about than your problems. I won't even notice! Nobody would, because you're not even real, Jilly. This is a hell that you can save us both from and this way is best; No mess, no pain, just like falling asleep." And then it went in for the kill. "You've always been a disappointment to me… For once in your life, do something right."
This was wrong, all of it. But she was already convinced. She grabbed the handle and pulled as hard as she could. It didn't budge. She groaned in frustration and left to find a hammer before she lost her momentum.
It felt insane to realize that this was the perfect way to get rid of everything. Strange relief came in knowing that she wouldn't have to worry anymore.
Jillian found a heavy sledgehammer in the basement and brought it back to the kitchen. She took a deep breath. Then she slammed the hammer as hard as she could into the locked cabinet. She kept swinging until the padlock lay crushed among splinters of wood.
There were so many different bottles of pills, so she took out every bottle and poured one of each kind onto the counter. She picked up the first handful and paused. Maybe lack of sleep was starting to get to her. Her mother couldn't really hate her, could she? But she'd already learned that anyone could do anything they wanted in this screwed up world. And she could do this.
Handfuls of colorful pills disappeared down her throat and she started to get drowsy. Her legs buckled beneath her and she fell against the tile. It was cold, clean, almost comfortable with the fuzzy feeling now creeping through her. Black spots clouded her vision and she only briefly noticed the blood pooling near her face before she finally faded out… Just like falling asleep.
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So this is really getting a bit dark I guess. But dark is good here. I think it might get worse, but I'm not sure if it warrants bumping up the rating. Maybe a few opinions could help me out? Is it better safe than sorry? Review with your thoughts on the matter and maybe with concerns or questions. And thank you as always. -XTAPX