Chapter 14

The Court of the Queen of Hearts

The bombings increased in the months that followed. As if overnight, the war had intensified without any sense of reason. Emma's shifts grew longer, harder. Her nights were no longer her own, they belonged solely to the war effort. Regina sat, night after night, in Emma's flat, listening to the distant explosions across the city, praying to a God she did not believe in that Emma would return at the end of each night.

But every night, she did. Regina learnt quickly to recognise the two moods the driver would return in. The first was pure exhaustion- Emma staggered in, long after the dawn had risen, and she lay on the bed, desperate but unable to sleep, the sound of explosions still ringing in her head. Regina had tried to hold her one morning whilst she was in this mood, but had found herself shaken off, and had instead learnt to simply have ready a mug of tea and whatever food she could find sat on the bedside table.

The second mood was shock, perhaps more so than Emma would ever have admitted to, and the need to simply feel Regina's body against her own, to feel her heartbeat against her chest- to know that they were both still alive after another night.

'Leave,' Regina murmured into Emma's ear one morning, as they lay tightly entwined, her fingers pressed tightly into Emma's side. 'The war effort will cope without you. We can go away.'

'I'm not a coward.'

'I know. But neither are you immortal.'

The next night was hard. Four bombings. 12 dead. Many more injured. The night was long, longer than any night Emma had experienced. Of the dead, five had been children, one a mere baby. She had assumed that all children had been evacuated, that Henry had been one of the last. Each of the deaths became more painful when she thought of her son.

It was almost mid-morning when she arrived home, her feet heavy with more than just the weight of her regulation boots, her head sore. She craved sleep, but the stench of dirt and smoke on her skin forced her to think of bathing instead. As long as she could smell burning, she would never sleep.

'Regina, I need to bathe.' She didn't want tea. She'd already decided that. But the hot water could be used to fill the bath. It may take some time, but she didn't need a lot. Just enough to clean herself. After all, water was a luxury. Then she noticed Regina.

The socialite was sat by the window, head facing forward. She didn't move at the sound of the door. Her eyes flickered towards the blonde woman, but her body remained still. A piece of paper was out in front of her, not long enough to be a letter from where Emma stood. A telegram.

'My mother's dying.' She spoke suddenly, her voice distant. She finally looked over at Emma by the door still, who at the news sat down opposite her companion. 'I received the news last night.'

'Dying? Is it certain?'

She was met with a furious stare in response. 'No. It's simply something doctors say for fun during war. Yes, she's dying.' She took a deep breath, and when she spoke again, her voice was calmer. 'She suffered a heart attack, the doctors believe. She refuses hospital care, she's at home. They do not believe she will last beyond the next three days.'

'Regina, I'm sorry…' She stretched across to take her hand, but Regina withdrew hers, placing it in her lap.

'Myself and Zelena will be visiting her tomorrow. Against my better judgement, Zelena will be taking her child. Mother has also requested that Mal join us, given our families' history.' Emma tried to hide the disappointment in her face at the thought of Mal's inclusion, but Regina caught a glance. 'She is only coming to appease a dying woman, Emma, I don't want her there.'

'What about me?' Emma asked, frowning. 'Can I come with you?'

'This isn't a social excursion, Swan,' the socialite snapped, leaning forward, before falling back. 'No, you have to be here anyway.'

'I could take bereavement.'

'You aren't bereaved, Swan.'

'To support you.'

Her eyes, bright and wide and earnest, caused Regina to smile, and she put her hand back on the table, allowing Swan to take it. But her mind was unchanged.

'I need to see my mother, Emma. There are questions I must ask, and things I must say before she dies. And I must do it alone.'

'Mal will be with you.'

Regina squeezed her hand softly. 'Mal will be there. She will not be with me.'

The house had changed, even in the short time since Regina saw it last. The staff, already reduced with the number of men at war, was smaller still, with now the young women missing having been drafted into roles as nurses, factory workers, drivers. And with the loss of these people, the house itself seemed to have grown smaller. As a child, she'd always felt the house's presence long before reaching it, as if its shadow seemed to stretch for miles, and it loomed over the nearby land like a giant in a fairytale. Stepping out of the car however, and glancing up, Regina couldn't help but be underwhelmed. It no longer seemed to dominate the land as much as it confused. It seemed old, decaying, with brickwork that needed redoing and a roof in dire need of repair. Why even compared to Emma's…

'Miss Regina.' Sidney stood by the door, his eyes bright at the sight of the socialite by the car. He approached, taking her hand when offered, before nodding to the other two women. 'Miss Mal. Miss…'

'My sister, Sidney. Zelena,' Regina prompted and saw his eyes grow wide in embarrassment.

'Why, of course, Miss Zelena. It has just been so long since you…and this is?' He gestured to the baby in Zelena's arms, as if desperate for some diversion from his own mistake.

'My daughter, Sidney. Eva.' She smiled, but was looking only at the door. 'My mother, where is she?'

The red haired woman led the way into the house, leaving Mal and Regina to follow with their bags, as Sidney walked briskly ahead. They stopped as they reached the hallway, Zelena casting a look around in confusion, the years away having turned her home into a maze.

'This way, Miss.' Sidney gestured to a nearby door, leading to one of the home's front parlours. He waited for all three women to have sat down before speaking. 'Your mother has already given instructions for your arrival. She wishes to see Miss Mal first, followed by Miss Zelena, and lastly Miss Regina.' He paused, casting a glance at Zelena, before continuing. 'She also said, and I repeat only the words she said to me, that should Zelena insist on bringing it, she does not wish to see the bastard.'

Zelena cast a look down at her daughter and laughed. After a moment or so, she looked back up at Sidney, her eyes like ice. 'You can tell her, when she asks for me, that I have indeed brought the bastard with me, but she will have to meet her. And should she complain, remind her that we can all leave at any point, and she can die here alone, without food or water, lying in her own filth. Is that clear?'

He nodded manically, before withdrawing from the room in a hurry. Zelena placed her daughter on the chaise besides her, and leant back with a satisfied smile.

Fresh hay. Clean leather. Earth. Regina stood, eyes closed, breathing in the scent. She'd missed the stables, the only place from home she did truly long for when she was away. She reached forward, placing both palms against the old wooden column before her, feeling its roughness beneath hands that for so long had only seemingly felt smooth. For a minute, she was seventeen once more- no wars, no bombings, no marriage. She could hear the snorts of the horses in their stalls, waiting for the leather saddle that would mean their freedom for a few, sweet hours. Her freedom too. Waiting for her, just outside the stable doors, would be Daniel, his horse already saddled and ready to go. He might have prepared something, a couple of sandwiches shoved in his back pockets, always refusing to take any food Regina offered from the house. They rode together for hours, regardless of the month or season. They let the horses graze while they lay together, his arms around her, her head pressed close to his chest so she could feel his heartbeat against her cheek. In the rain, he'd pull her under an apple tree, and press her body against the trunk whilst his lips moved warm against her neck. For a short minute, eyes scrunched tight, she could go back. She could feel everything again.

'Miss Regina…'

She opened her eyes. The minute was gone once more.

'Regina, darling.'

'Mother.' Regina entered her mother's bedroom slowly, it being a room she had only previously been given very limited access. It was however, of the whole house, the only room that was unchanged. Glass chandeliers still hung extravagantly from the ceiling, dust free even with the reduced staff. Every mirror in the room was spotless, from the dressing table, to the large floor length mirror in the corner. Even the walls had not change, still covered in a deep red, which when contrasted with the monochromatic furnishings, gave Regina a sense of being in the court of the Queen of Hearts.

There was one change however, she noticed as she approached the bed slowly. Her mother, lying in the bed, was far from the woman she had known. Her hair, so pristine, now hung limply around her shoulders. Dark shadows sat heavily underneath her eyes. Her face, so proud, seemed to droop. Even her cheekbones seemed softer, less prominent, as if even they were tired of standing.

'Regina, sit down.' She gestured to the chair besides the bed. 'Or, before you do, you don't have any bastards you will be parading in front of me, do you? Because, if you do, bring them in now and get it out of the way. Else my heart will give out entirely.' As she watched Regina sit down slowly, she nodded. 'Good, I'll take that as a no. I've just seen your sister and hers. Ghastly thing, but then what can you expect from a lack of breeding? And to call it 'Eva', why it's horrifically common. It makes me question the status of the father, I'll say that.'

Not as much change as first thought, perhaps. 'I'm glad you're happy to see your daughter after so long, mother. Zelena left home over ten years ago.'

'Good riddance, really.' Her mother shrugged. 'Though, of course, she will understand when her daughter grows up. Such a mark of shame. You'd never understand though, dear, you haven't even managed a legitimate one.'

'Don't hold back,' Regina murmured sarcastically, but her mother only smiled.

'My dear, I'm dying, I'm within my rights to say now whatever I wish. In a number of days, I'll be dead and gone and you can forget it all. So…' She paused. 'Still unmarried?'

'Widowed.'

'No suitors?'

Emma crossed her mind momentarily. 'None.'

'All the work it took me to get you where you are today, and this is how you repay me. No children, no marriage, it is as if you wish to kill me yourself, Regina.' She sat up straighter, the effort of such a move masked by the fury on her face. 'Is that what you wish?'

'You don't want me to answer that.'

'I'm dying; I want you to answer all of my questions. Just so I can see how much of a waste my life has been.'

'That works two ways, mother. I need you to answer my questions to, just so I understand exactly how you've controlled my life.' Regina hissed at Cora, before taking a breath and sitting back more calmly.

'Fine.' Cora nodded, repositioning herself more comfortably in her bed. 'A question for a question. I'll be generous, and let you start.'

'Why did you dislike Daniel?'

'What a waste of a question, my dear, and so bitter still after so long.' She shrugged once more. 'He was common and beneath us. If I'd have let you marry him, everything I'd ever done would have been for nought. My question now…' She tilted her head slowly. 'Why have you fought me on every offer of marriage you've received?'

'Did you see the men who made the offers, mother?' Regina frowned. 'They didn't want a wife, they wanted a doll. Something they could bring out and show off on special occasions before putting her away at the end of an evening. Either that or they wanted someone they could get half a dozen children off before they drank themselves to an early grave. They weren't offers of marriage, they were offers of servitude.'

'So dramatic, Regina. What is marriage if not that? Marriage isn't about the man, but about what he can give you, and they offered more than enough. What more could you want?'

'My question, actually.' She paused, looking down at her lap for a moment. When she looked back up, her eyes were hard. 'Daniel's death, hit by a motorcar, a mere three weeks after you forced him to leave, was that really an accident?'

Regina didn't know what she expected from Cora. The words seemed so heavy they almost seemed to fall from her mouth, the question hanging in the air between them. She considered that such a question may be too far, but then watched as her mother merely blinked.

'No, my dear, of course not. I paid the chauffeur to kill him. It cost an extortionate amount of money, but it was worth it, for you.' Regina felt herself freeze. Even her blood felt as though it had frozen solid in her veins. She must have shown this on her face, for her mother frowned at her in confusion. 'You didn't know, Regina? I know you were a naïve 17 year old, but I thought you'd have worked it out by now. Even you sister knew. She agreed that it had to be done. As long as Daniel was still alive, you'd still want to be with him, and I simply couldn't risk it.'

'Zelena knew?' Her voice was barely a whisper. Her head was pulsing, trying to understand everything her mother was saying.

'Why of course. She practically suggested it. Oh, don't look like that, darling.' Cora reached a hand across to take Regina's. Her body was too limp to stop it. 'We did it because we love you, Regina, and that's the only reason. If Daniel had lived, you'd have found a way to be with him and live in some squalid little cottage with however many disgusting children he'd have wanted. You must see how wasted you'd have been- someone with your looks, your intelligence. You'd have been bored within months and had no way to back out. We did the right thing for you, you must understand.'

'The right thing? Telling me to marry Leopold was the right thing?'

'He had excellent prospects, darling.' Cora smiled. 'Before all that nonsense with the social care policy, but then I couldn't have predicted that. I tried to do what was best for you.'

'You have controlled my whole life,' Regina said slowly, taking her hand back from her mother's grasp. 'My entire life has been run by you.'

'You're being very over-dramatic, dear…'

'No, I'm not. Since I was a child, you told me what to do with my life- to get married, to have children, to be the respectable wife you considered yourself. You took from me a man I really truly loved, a man who only wanted to love and respect me, and forced me into a marriage with a man who was double my age and had so little regard for me that he regularly paraded his mistresses through our house.'

'That's marriage, Regina, it's what happens.'

She shook her head, the beginnings of a smile on her face. 'No, mother, no it isn't. I lied earlier to you, when you asked if I had a suitor. I do. I have met someone who would never do that to me, even if we married.'

'You're not marrying him?' Cora asked, her eyes wide in anger. 'What's wrong with him? Already married? Easy enough to deal with, should you know how.'

'No.'

'Then what?'

'I've met a woman, mother. A woman who wants nothing more than to be with me and make me happy. A wonderful woman who even wanted, when she heard about you, to come here with me, and who I only stopped for your sake. But now, I don't care.' Her smile was wide now, growing wider as she saw her mother's face fall with every word she spoke. 'She has no money. She lives in a tiny flat in London with her son. She is everything you saved me from all those years ago, and so much more because she is mine. She is the first person in my life far away from you, who you will have no control over, and she is who I choose to be with.'

'Regina.' Cora was speaking almost in gasps. 'You wouldn't.'

'Why not? To preserve what you think you made for me? The life you thought you had trapped me in? I would rather live my entire life penniless, an outcast, with Emma than spend one more solitary day having you control me. You have lost all power over me now, and there is nothing more you can do to me…Mother?' Cora's face had frozen, her breath now a heavy pant, her hand clutching at her chest. Her eyes were unhealthily wide, staring forwards. Regina stood, panicked, shouting desperately. 'Sidney. Sidney. It's mother. Sidney. Anyone. Help.'

In the bed, Cora lay back suddenly, eyes straight forward, unseeing.

It was raining on the drive back to London. The rain was heavy, unrelenting, bouncing painfully loudly off the roof of the motorcar. Zelena was sure that at any minute it would start seeping through and wake the baby, still thankfully asleep. Although that was probably more thanks to the sliver of whisky in her feed, than it was her parenting skills. Either way she was grateful. Beside her, Mal was talking, endlessly talking; she had stopped listening miles ago. Next to her, Regina was silent, hands clasped tightly, unmoving.

'I wouldn't feel too bad about killing your mother really, Regina.' Mal smiled, placing her hand on Regina's knee. 'She was dying anyway; you just sped up the process. In fact, it's almost charitable.'

'Be quiet, Mal.' Zelena hissed. 'It was nothing to do with Regina, and it certainly isn't anything to do with you now.'

'I'm simply trying to help. I don't see you making a lot of effort.'

'Leave her alone, that will help.'

'I can speak for myself.' Regina spoke for the first time since they had left that morning. Zelena rolled her eyes and turned to her own window. The sisters hadn't spoken since the incident the previous day. Cora's second heart attack, as Regina watched, had proved too much for her body, weak from years of alcohol abuse and poor diet anyway. They stayed an additional night, long enough to organise burial and any remaining business, before leaving. Regina had remained silent almost the entire time. 'I am aware it was not my fault, although that hardly matters. I don't feel guilty.'

'I can arrange a wake for her in London. I know that Cru and Ursula would like to pay their respects.' She squeezed Regina's knee gently. She glanced down at the hand on her leg, and stared again out of the window.

'Fine.'

'And I'm here for you, Regina, should you want me.' Mal moved her hand a little higher, brushing against the other woman's thigh with a smile.

Regina removed Mal's hand with a frown. 'I don't.'