A/N Okay, so I know, I suck majorly. I am so so sorry that I slacked on this update, real life has just been catching up with me. I started work, and it's just been crazy. Gah, funny story, on one my second day of work a bagel got stuck in a toaster and burst into flames. I nearly had a heart attack! I was standing there watching it burn thinking 'Oh God, I'm going to burn Dunkin Donuts down.' But yeah, enough about my life, it's still no excuse for my slacking, but I hope you all can find it in your hearts to forgive me. I don't own Glee, but reviews sure do fill the void. Thanks in advance for everything guys, you're my inspiration, and I promise, I won't let this story go this long without an update anymore.
P.S. I almost have the first chapter of the Harry Potter world Brittana fic outlined! So keep an eye out for that! -Skye.
Santana could not believe what she was hearing. Glee club had started off normal enough, Mr. Schuester was either ranting about Nationals being in a week or explaining where he gets his vests at for a super choice price. Santana wasn't really paying attention until it was announced that Coach Sylvester's sister passed away during the weekend and her funeral was to be held tomorrow. Now, Santana never thought she would ever feel bad for her old cheerleading coach, but after hearing the sad news of Jean's passing, the brunette felt nothing but sorrow. She felt her body go on auto- pilot, hardly listening to whatever Finnocence and Kurt were going on about. 'Coach was always so invested in her sister's life. She must be devastated. I know I would be nothing if something happened to papi or Quinn.' Santana thought as she absentmindedly twiddled her thumbs.
Santana was so deep in thought that she hadn't even realized that the final bell had rung, and school was out for the day. Quinn was silently watching the Latina, studying the emotions that were flashing across the beautiful girl's face. Quinn stood up after a moment, gently pulling on Santana's restless hands. The smaller girl looked up in surprise, clearly not expecting to be drawn out of her thoughts.
"It's three, San." Quinn said softly.
Santana nodded and picked up her bookbag. "Sorry, Q, I spaced out a bit."
Quinn smiled knowingly and lacing her fingers with Santana's, she pulled the other girl out of the choir room and into the hall. They stopped briefly at each others' lockers to grab their homework and made their way to Santana's car.
Santana was still running on auto-pilot, her thoughts fleeting back and forth between Coach Sylvester and Jean. She remembered when her abuela died. Santana was only ten, and just like Jean, Abuela Lopez passed unexpectedly. 'I can't believe this. I just can't.' Santana thought as she pulled out of the school's parking lot, completely unaware of whatever Quinn was saying.
"Santana, are you listening to me?" Quinn asked for the third time.
Santana perked up then, taking her eyes off the road for a second to glance over at Quinn. The blonde looked slightly annoyed, but behind the annoyance in her hazel eyes was concern. Santana instantly felt bad for worrying the girl in her passenger seat.
"Ugh, I'm sorry, querida." Santana said while reaching out to squeeze Quinn's hand. "I was just thinking."
Quinn quirked a perfectly waxed eyebrow. "About?" she queried
"Coach Sylvester." Santana said simply, her eyes glued to the driveway of her home.
Quinn's expression softened immediately. "Oh."
"Yeah." Santana said as she parked her car and threw open her door, getting out in one swift motion.
"Santana?" Quinn asked in confusion as she got out of the car and followed after the brunette, who was now shoving the front door of her house open. "Hey!"
Santana paid no mind to Quinn as she ran up her stairs two at a time. She didn't really know what came over her, but suddenly the urge to be alone came surging through her body. Santana didn't really deal with death well, even if the person was in no way connected to her. Nobody would guess it, but the brunette was so afraid of dying that when hearing about it, she just shuts down. There were so many unanswered questions that plagued her mind when it came to death. Does it hurt? Will people remember me? Will people care? 'No. Not about me.' Santana thought to herself as she slammed her bedroom door shut and collapsed on her bed.
Quinn crept up the stairs and slide over to Santana's door. The blonde was beyond confused, she didn't really know for sure if the reason Santana was acting so weird had to do with the news they had received today, but she was determined to get to the bottom of it. Quinn pressed her ear up against the bedroom door, listening for any signs of movement. When a muffled sob let out, Quinn barged into the room and immediately joined Santana on her bed.
"San?" Quinn breathed out as she pulled the brunette into her arms.
Santana just moved in closer to Quinn and buried her face into her girlfriend's neck. 'I just need to feel her right now. Please Q, please understand I'll talk when I'm ready.' Santana thought as she tightened her grip on the girl next to her. Quinn brushed a few stray strands of Santana's hair away from her face and leaned down to kiss her forehead.
"We don't have to talk now." Quinn said as she ran her fingers through raven colored locks. "Just try to calm down; I've got you okay, San?"
Santana sighed shakily and pressed her lips to Quinn's collar bone in thanks. No words were needed; there was a silent understanding between the two girls that ran deep within their hearts. Santana couldn't fathom being without the girl who was cradling her so carefully in her arms, and that's why the whole funeral ordeal was eating the Latina from the inside out. Santana knew that she would eventually have to tell Quinn all her fears, and she really wasn't looking forward to that, but she knew deep down that Quinn would just kiss her fears away and hold her until she needed to be let go. 'I'm so lucky.' Santana thought before letting her eyes close and falling asleep against Quinn's chest.
O – O – O
A few hours went by before Santana woke up alone in her bed. The Latina looked around in confusion. The last thing she remembered was Quinn singing softly in her ear as she stroked her hair, and now here she was alone in the darkness of her room.
"Joder." Santana cursed under her breath as she got off her bead and opened the door to her room. Her house was silent. 'Did I dream all this shit?' Santana thought as she made her way down the staircase. Once she reached the landing, Santana looked over to her living room, just in case Quinn was in there, but she wasn't. Just as Santana was about to freak out, a crash rang out from the kitchen, followed by Quinn's soft voice cursing. 'Oh thank God.' Santana thought as she ran into the room, only to be met with Quinn completely covered in what looked like chocolate syrup.
Santana laughed from her place at the table. "Having some difficulties, querida?"
Quinn whipped around, her eyes comically wide. "I, er, I was making you a milkshake."
Santana smiled softly at the blonde's admission. Santana had once told Quinn that when she was younger her father would always make her a chocolate milkshake whenever she got upset. It honestly surprised Santana that Quinn actually remembered this, and she was instantly even more grateful to have Quinn in her life. Santana crossed over to where Quinn was standing, and immediately pulled her in for a hug.
"You didn't have to do this." Santana whispered.
Quinn responded by pulling Santana tighter against her. "Of course I did. You were upset, and I knew this would help make you feel better."
Santana pulled away then and took a good look at Quinn. There was a trail of chocolate running from Quinn's forehead to her neck, along with a few spots on the part of her chest exposed from her tank top. Suddenly Santana couldn't help herself, and the brunette found herself leaning forward to lick at Quinn's neck. The taller girl let out a soft moan as Santana licked her neck clean and began to suck on her pulse point.
"Santana…" Quinn started out, but was shut up by said girl crashing their lips together.
Santana kissed Quinn with such fierceness that she had no idea she possessed. She could practically feel her lips bruising as she nipped down hard on Quinn's lower lip. The blonde let out a moan of approval and parted her lips, allowing Santana to deepen their kiss. Before Santana knew it, she was grabbing desperately at Quinn's ass, trying to pull her as close as she possibly could.
Quinn let out a deep moan at the feel of Santana's wandering hands and grinded her hips into the Latina. Santana dug her fingers into the fabric of Quinn's shorts and continued to mover her tongue against Quinn's own. The girls finally broke apart, gasping for air and grinning at each other.
Quinn was the first to break the silence. "If that's the thanks I get for attempting to make a milkshake, then you can just call me Betty Crocker."
Santana rolled her eyes but laughed nonetheless. "You need a shower, dork. Let's go."
Quinn shuddered involuntarily at the wink that Santana sent her way, but followed the other girl up the stairs and into the bathroom. Santana had already started the water for their shower and was undressing at a teasingly slow pace. She could feel Quinn's eyes on her as she dropped her underwear and unhooked her bra. 'We are so going to gets our shower sex on.' Santana thought as she bent over to pick up her dirty clothes and throw them in the laundry basket. She smirked when she heard Quinn let out a groan from behind her, before stepping into the shower and allowing the heat to sooth her over-stressed body.
"Are you coming in, Quinn?" Santana said as she ran a wash cloth over her stomach. "Or am I just going to have to wash myself alone."
Santana laughed as she heard Quinn scramble out of her own clothes and throw them in the hamper.
"You're such a tease." Quinn said as she pulled back the shower door and joined Santana under the showerhead.
Santana immediately pulled Quinn's hair back and began massaging shampoo into the girl's hair. Quinn moaned at the feeling of Santana's fingers gently running through her hair, and instantly arched back into the other girl's chest. Santana had to mentally talk herself down so she could finish rinsing Quinn's hair, and when the task was finally completed she turned the blonde around and greeted her with a soft kiss. "I love you." she said much too seriously for the situation at hand.
Quinn furrowed her eyebrows, but placed a kiss to Santana's jaw nonetheless. "I love you too, Santana."
Santana smiled, pleased at Quinn's answer. "I just wanted you to know. I feel like I don't tell you as much as I should."
Quinn shook her head fiercely. "I know you love me baby. I know it's usually hard for you to be so open with your feelings, but you know you can do that with me. I'm so proud of how far you've come. I love you so much, San."
Santana swallowed the lump in her throat. "I love you." she reiterated before leaning forward to pull Quinn's bottom lip in between her own. Quinn smiled into their kiss and brought her hands down to palm Santana's ass, successfully eliciting a moan from the brunette. Santana arched into Quinn, their breasts rubbing together perfectly.
Quinn wasted no time, her hand running down Santana's stomach and slipping in between wet folds. Santana let out a moan as Quinn stroked up and down her slit, gathering an ample amount of wetness before pressing down on the brunettes clit.
"Dios fucking mio, Q." Santana moaned out as Quinn rubbed circles around the engorged bud.
"You're so wet, San." Quinn said as she dipped one finger into Santana, teasing her before returning her attention to the other girl's clit.
"That's 'cause we're in a shower." Santana said with a smirk.
Quinn answered by shoving three fingers into Santana's opening and thrusting up to hit the rough spot inside her girlfriend. "Smart ass." she said as she sped up her thrusts, taking pleasure in Santana's heavy breathing.
"Mierda! Quinn. Mas duro, querida." Santana rasped out.
Quinn obeyed and pressed her fingers deeper into Santana, curling them with every thrust. Santana felt her stomach filling up with warmth, and it took every bit of her will power to keep from going over the edge.
"Oh Quinn, oh fuck. I'm going to- joder!" Santana bellowed as Quinn pressed into her, helping her ride out her orgasm. Santana took a few moments to catch her breath as Quinn pulled out of her and licked her fingers clean.
"Fuck, Quinn." Santana let out before switching their positions so that Quinn was now pressed up against the shower tiles. Santana didn't want to waste any more time and attached her mouth to the paler girl's nipple, taking pride in the way Quinn breathed out her name.
"Santana!" Quinn called out in surprise as the Latina grazed her teeth across a breast and down her stomach.
Santana smirked into Quinn's hipbone as she settled on her knees in the shower and hooked the other girl's leg around her shoulders.
"Do you need me, querida?" Santana asked, deciding to tease Quinn.
Quinn let out a frustrated groan. "I swear, Santana. Now is not the time to get an ego."
Santana laughed. "So does that mean you do need me? It's still a little unclear."
Quinn responded by pushing Santana's head into her center, the tip of the other girl's nose hitting her clit. 'Holy sweet hell' Santana thought as she brought her tongue out to lick the length of Quinn.
"Oh fuck, Santana." Quinn purred out as she grinded her hips into Santana's face.
Santana happily lapped at the blonde, her tongue swirling circles around Quinn's opening before delving inside just a little bit. Quinn bucked her hips wildly, trying her hardest to get any type of friction to help her.
"San, p-please. Fuck, just please." Quinn practically begged as she grinded her hips down once more.
Santana looked up then, her own dark eyes meeting Quinn's pleading hazel ones. Santana saw the begging in those eyes, but masked behind the lust there was an unbelievable amount of love. Santana smiled then, reassuring the blonde that she would take care of her. Then, in one quick motion, Santana drove two fingers into Quinn and pressed her tongue flat against the girl's clit.
Quinn's reaction was instantaneous. She thrashed uncontrollably underneath Santana's skillful fingers and tongue. The Latina was relentless in her assault on Quinn's clit, her tongue tracing pattern after pattern against the swollen bud. Quinn was panting hard; trying her best to keep up with Santana's increasingly fast pace. With one final flick of her tongue and a thrust of her fingers, Santana brought Quinn to what was easily the most mind-blowing orgasm of her life.
Santana held Quinn up as she rode out her orgasm, the blonde girl's fingers digging into her back. Once she felt Quinn go limp in her around her shoulders, Santana stood up shut off the shower and helped Quinn out of the shower.
The pair threw their pajamas on quickly before switching out the bathroom light and heading down to Santana's kitchen to grab some leftover pizza before bed. Tomorrow was Jean's funeral, and Quinn had offered to stay over and get ready with Santana. Santana didn't know it, but Quinn was unusually perceptive when it came to things like this. She knew that Santana was more upset about Jean's passing then she let on, and Quinn assumed there had to be some personal reasons behind the brunette's sadness. Quinn studied Santana's features as they ate in a comfortable silence, hoping to pick up on any change in her emotions.
Santana for her part was doing a lot better than earlier in the day. Spending time with Quinn was the perfect cure for anything, and Santana was incredibly thankful. She was especially thankful that Quinn hadn't pushed Santana to talk about why she was so upset when they had first arrived to her house. 'Quinn has always been good like that though.' Santana thought as she sent a timid smile to the girl sitting next to her. 'She never pushes me to talk when I don't want to.'
"You ready for bed, babe?" Quinn asked as she stood up and threw her paper plate away.
Santana merely nodded and flashed Quinn a breathtaking smile as she disposed of her own garbage. She playfully went up behind Quinn and pushed on her back until the blonde girl made her way out of the kitchen and up to Santana's bedroom. They brushed their teeth quickly before turning off the light and climbing into bed. Quinn immediately snuggled into Santana's side, whispering sweet nothings into the darkness. Santana sighed happily and flung her arm over Quinn's waist, effectively pulling her closer so that she could fall into a comfortable slumber.
O – O – O
The next morning Santana awoke with what felt like a lead weight in her stomach. She hadn't been to a funeral since her abuela died, and the memories of that day were flooding back to the Latina. Santana wasn't so sure she could make it through the day without have some sort of a freak out. A small tired moan sounded out from beside her and Santana found herself momentarily distracted by the beauty that was Quinn Fabray. The blonde was rubbing the sleep from her eyes, and Santana couldn't help but bring her hand up to meet Quinn's cheek.
"Mm good morning." Quinn muttered, turning into Santana's hand.
Santana bent down and kissed the tip of Quinn's nose. "Morning, querida."
Quinn sat up then and flashed a smile at Santana, her hand reaching out to tangle in the tan girl's hair. "Such beautiful bed head." she said with a smirk.
Santana tried to glare at Quinn, but failed completely. "You suck, Fabray. C'mon we overslept; Rachel and Britt are going to be here in an hour. We needs to get our Flash on if we want to be ready in time."
Quinn rolled her eyes and jumped out of the bed, pulling both hers and Santana's dresses out of the Latina's closet. "You get dorkier every day."
Santana scoffed at the accusation and pulled her pajamas off and tugged the black dress on. "I look like Wednesday Addams." she said as she took in her appearance in the mirror after fixing her hair.
Quinn came up behind her, wrapping her arms around Santana's waist. "I think that's the point baby."
Santana nodded almost unnoticeably just as her doorbell rang. Quinn sent Santana a glance before walking out of her bedroom to let Rachel and Brittany in. Santana took refuge in the moment of solitude, mentally prepping herself for the day. 'You can do this, Lopez. You're going to be okay. Just get through the funeral and you can come home and get your cuddle on with Q.' Santana smiled at that, her girlfriend, as though she knew Santana wouldn't want to be alone afterwards, insisted on staying the weekend. Quinn claimed it was to help her pack for Nationals, but Santana knew that Quinn just wanted to make sure she was going to be okay. Santana looked herself over once more before bounding down her steps and out to Rachel's car.
The car ride to the funeral home was solemn. Nobody spoke, not even Brittany, who's hand was clasping Rachel's in a vice grip. Santana made a mental note to give her best friend a hug before the day was over; the blue eyed girl would most likely need it.
Jean's reception was beautiful. There were no other words Santana could think to describe it. She never felt more honored in her life than in the moment where she and the rest of the Glee club sang 'Pure Imagination' for Jean. It was from her favorite movie after all, and Santana didn't think there was any better way to pay homage to such a beautiful person like Jean. Coach Sylvester's speech, however, was the most beautifully tragic eulogy that Santana heard in her life. When Mr. Schue had to go up to the podium and read the rest of the letter for Sue, Santana felt her heart clench with sadness. The whole thing Sue wrote about feeling tethered to another person struck a deep nerve with her, and Santana couldn't help but glance over at Quinn.
In that moment, when she looked over to see the blonde girl sobbing quietly, Santana knew. She knew that there was absolutely no one else out there for her, that it was always going to be Quinn. That feeling of being tethered to someone, Santana felt that. She felt it down to her bones, and she knew that after today, after this life changing experience, she would continue to feel it until the day she died. Quinn was her everything, and strangely enough, it was the beautiful words of Coach Sylvester that made Santana realize it.
After the funeral, Santana marched right up to Sue Sylvester and wrapped her in a tight hug. The older woman tensed, clearly shocked by Santana's actions, but relaxed slightly when Santana muttered a soft thank you. Sue hugged Santana back, sending a confused look over the Latina's shoulders to Will Schuester, who was standing glued in his spot, his eyes wide at the scene unfolding in front of him. When Santana pulled away, she looked at her old Cheerio coach with a newfound admiration and respect.
"Is there any reason why you just hugged me, Sandbags?" Sue asked, the nickname rolling off her tongue in jest.
Santana smiled sadly and took a deep breath. "I just wanted to thank you, Coach. What you wrote in that speech, about being tethered to another person, it just opened my eyes to everything."
Sue swallowed back a new batch of tears, secretly proud of the young woman standing in front of her. And that's exactly what Santana was now, a beautiful young woman, growing up in the most amazing of ways. Sue could respect that, she could praise that, but she couldn't be too emotional about it. The kids at McKinley still had to fear her.
"I'm only going to tell you this once, Santana, so you better listen closely." Sue said quietly, so no one else could hear. "I'm proud of you and Barbie Fabray. You were the only girls to ever stand up to me in all my years at that school. You're a smart girl, Lopez, so don't let Q get away from you. I didn't raise my Cheerios to settle for anything less than the best, and that's what the pair of you are."
Santana let her mouth drop for a moment before closing it quickly. "Thank you." she said once more before leaving the cemetery with Quinn, Rachel, and Brittany.
The four girls went out for a bite to eat before dropping Santana and Quinn off at Santana's house. By the time they got through their nightly routine and packed a suitcase of Santana's belongings for their trip to New York the two girls were exhausted, mentally and physically.
Santana felt her feet dragging as she walked into her room after brushing her teeth. She flicked the light switch to off and crawled into her bed next to Quinn. The blonde opened her arms to Santana, who willingly collapsed into them. Quinn stroked the girl's arm for awhile before deciding it was time to ask Santana what was on her mind.
"San?" she questioned quietly, unsure if the other girl had fallen asleep.
"Yeah?" Santana breathed out against Quinn's chest.
Quinn took a deep breath and Santana instantly knew what was coming. "Why did Jean's death affect you so much?"
Santana sighed heavily before pushing up on her elbows so that she could look down at Quinn. She had promised she would talk about this, but now that the time had finally come Santana wasn't so sure she wanted to. 'No, come on, talk to her. You'll feel better.' Santana reasoned with herself.
"This was the first funeral I've been to since my abuela died, Q." Santana said, a lone tear escaping from her deep brown eyes. "I was ten."
Quinn nodded and brought her hand up to wipe at the Latina's tears. "I'm so sorry, San."
Santana leant into Quinn's comforting touch. "It's okay, well I mean it's not, but you know what I mean."
Quinn rubbed her hand against Santana's cheek, silently encouraging her to go on. Santana bit her lip before taking another shaky breath.
"I'm actually better now. Jean's death was just so sudden, like my abuela's, and I guess it just made me realize how important what we have is. How important you are to me." Santana whispered the last part out, her tears now falling freely.
Quinn inhaled sharply at Santana's admission. "I love you, Santana."
Santana squeezed her eyes shut, trying to slow her tears. "I love you too, Quinn. I don't know what I would do if I lost you."
"You won't lose me. I'm fine, perfectly fine, and so are you. We're not going to lose each other, San. It's okay." Quinn whispered out, her own eyes watering with unshed tears.
Santana let out a sob and let her body fall against Quinn's, her lips seeking comfort with the blonde girls own. When their lips finally met, they kissed softly, unrushed, just taking solace in each other's love. They broke apart after a few more seconds, their breathing uneven and their heartbeats elevated. Santana sent a shy smile to Quinn, who just pulled the brunette against her, her fingers rubbing soothing circles on Santana's back.
"Q?"Santana asked after a moment.
Quinn smiled at how soft Santana's voice sounded; a sound that she knew was reserved only for her. "Yeah, babe?"
"You know how Coach said that she was tethered to Jean, for like ever?" Santana asked with a yawn.
Quinn nodded. "Yeah, San."
Santana pressed a kiss to Quinn's neck. "I'm tethered to you."
Quinn felt her heart soar with love for the tiny brunette in her arms. "You mean that?" she asked quietly.
Santana chuckled sleepily. "Forever, querida, and then some."
Quinn smiled gently, her own eyes beginning to droop. "I'm tethered to you too, San."
Santana snuggled in closet to Quinn then, her exhaustion taking over her body. The last thing she remembered saying was a sleepy "Te amo", only to be answered with Quinn's own admittance of love. For the first time Santana felt like she could take on the world, and if she was being honest with herself, with Quinn at her side, she definitely could.