Chapter Fourteen

So my not so near bff Erin introduced me to this song. It's on the sad side, but the lyrics were mega inspiration.

Sorry if the emotions don't really match up with how Bella should be reacting. I typed all this shit on my iPhone. My. Pinkies. Fucking. Hurt. Yeah landscape keyboard, fuck that.

See you at the bottom!

"Oh please don't go

I want you so

I can't let go

For I lose control"

"Please Don't Go" - Barcelona

Bella wished she knew what was making Edward so upset. One thing she had recently realized was that you could never get a clear read on him. His moods were constantly all over the place even when he tried to keep them in check.

She hated that he was hiding something from her, hated that something was upsetting him and hated that she was worrying herself over it.

Daily, Bella reminded herself that the closeness they had years ago was at best, a memory. The chances of achieving that again were slim to none.

Cue the heavy, upset, annoyed, unfair, teenage angsty sigh.

"Are you hungry?"

Bella turned her head to the voice, trying to tamp down the urge to smile at his words. "I'm fine." She whispered.

Edward eyed her suspiciously, probably internally frowning at her choice of words. They'd been in his apartment for at least six hours and whenever Edward would ask her if she wanted or needed anything, she always responded "I'm fine". As if saying the words over and over again would make her statement true.

"You look tired."

Bella tried to hide the hurt from her expression. She's been out of the hospital for only a few hours, was she really expected to look like Miss America instantly?

"I'm sorry?" her response sounded more like a question than an answer.

"No! Not that I mean anything by it- I just saw, and you've been sitting for a while, but you don't have any clothes- and I just thought..." Edward dry washed his face before he spoke again, obviously trying to find the right words. "I want you to feel better as soon as possible... But you probably won't be comfortable..."

Edward threw up his hands in frustration, slowly rising from his recliner to start pacing. Bella watched and waited as patiently as she could for him to actually completely finish his thought. She knew what it was like to not want to offend someone with words, but want to get your point across.

"It kills me to see you in pain." he finally blurted out without an obvious conscious thought.

Bella practically fell out of her seat at his words. What the hell was that supposed to mean? How was she expected to translate what he said?

"Fuck... Look Bella, you should rest. I'll go pick up my rust bucket, and tomorrow we'll get some of your things. And fuck whatever thought you had of going back 'home'." He scowled as his fingers acted out the air quotes. "You're gonna stay here with me and Cat until all this fucking dust has settled. I won't let you be alone until that piece of shit you're legally bound to is locked up."

Bella sat stunned in silence. Her heart on the other hand was probably making up for her being quiet. Her pulse felt like it was going a mile a minute. It was so obvious to her, and for once she didn't care if she was reading things incorrectly. All signs pointed to Edward caring.

About her.

The tears that slowly started to fall from her eyes burned her dry lips and cause Edward to appear inches from her almost instantly.

"Bella you've barely said anything. Please talk to me." he pleaded, carefully taking her hands in his.

What was she doing? Opening her heart again? Stupid. The chances of it breaking because of his fingers were too great. She had to push him away and ignore what he said. It was only words.

"I'll take your advice." she said quietly. "I'll lie down for a while."

Edward nodded slowly, his body visibly relaxing. "My apartment isn't exactly meant for company. You can sleep in my bed, I'll take the recliner."

Guilt instantly engulfed her. "It's bad enough I'm turning your life upside down Edward." How could she make more even? Bella sighed. "We're both adults. I don't see why we can't share your bed."

Bella tried her best to give him a look that would prevent a rebuttal, and thankfully he just nodded and lead her into the one part of his apartment she had yet to see.

Unsurprisingly enough his bedroom consisted of a curtain less window, clothes and change littered everywhere and a mattress with two pillows and a worn quilt at the foot.

Bella wasn't sure what she was expecting to see, especially taking into consideration the rest of his apartment, but his room was a manly and bare room.

"You can wear this to sleep in."

Bella took the t-shirt and gym shorts from his extended hand and awkwardly shuffled out of his room and into the little single bath a few steps away.

Behind the closed door Bella brought the borrowed clothes to her nose, inhaling the specific scent that was Edward. It was a mix of aftershave, Marlboro Reds and the essence of pure masculinity that no one would ever be able to copy.

Bella changed as quickly as the throbbing pain in her chest allowed. But she knew it wasn't from her broken ribs. No it was from the idea of shutting Edward out again. Fuck her safety and sanity. She'd trade everything to have her Edward back.

"I'm not sure which side you prefer." Edward said as she reentered his room. She shrugged and plopped down on the side furthest from the door, shifting from side to side until she was comfortable.

When she finally did get comfortable, Edward handed her the quilt and then joined her on the mattress. He curled up closest to the edge of the bed, with the huge muscular expanse of his back to her.

The why of his actions were unknown to Bella. But the distance he was obviously, albeit silently, demanding doubled the pain in Bella's chest. She was just a charity case to him. He could right his past wrongs and then let her go.

Bella tried to muffle her cries at the idea of his letting her go. It pained her to think of it and her emotions quickly took advantage of her vulnerable state. She was much more than damaged goods.

She was unfixable.

So yeah, now she's randomly sad at the end, I get it I see it. I really just wanted to get this out of the way. Sad and weak Bella is so difficult to write.

Next chapter will pick up from here in Edward's POV.

Reviews are better than sharing a bare mattress and worn quilt.