A/N: It has recently come to my attention that 'SmartMart' is an on-line shopping program at Stanford University. If someone from Stanford is reading this, please don't sue me. All SmartMart rights belong to Stanford. Thanks! Also, feel free to review at the end of this chapter. Love, HoneydukesFan.

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(Clary's POV)

Isabelle continued to sob into Simon, keeping up a continuous rant of the word 'pineapple', while Alec and Magnus were still kissing. Jace stood next to the fridge, looking quite pleased at the mayhem he had caused. At least, until he slapped his forehead and said—well, let's just say that it wasn't 'whoopsy daisies'.

"The Inquisitor is dropping by to hear our report!" he said in a panicked voice.

"Ok. Go up and talk to him, then."

"Well, I would, but the Inquisitor wants to talk to Alec, seeing as he is the only one of age."

I looked over at Alec. "I think that might present a problem. Unless, of course, he wants to talk to Alec and Magnus at the same time."

Jace was running his hands through his hair distractedly. "What am I going to do? Um… Ok, I've got it."

Jace sprinted for the door, yanked it open and said to me, "Watch Alec and Isabelle and make sure that they don't leave the kitchen!"

"Wait, what are you going to do?" I called to him.

"I don't know yet, but I'll think of something!" he yelled, already taking the steps three at a time.

I surveyed the room, taking in a petrified Simon, a blubbering Isabelle, and an almost insensible Alec. Oh, and Magnus, who looked a little confused, but happy.

Suddenly, Isabelle bolted straight up and, looking at the ceiling, said, "Oooh, look at those stars!"

All I could see on the ceiling was what looked like a moldy pancake and several scorch marks. "Hey, Simon, pass me that bottle over there, would you?"

Simon passed me the bottle of faery brandy in a defeated sort of way.

I scanned the list of side-effects, and sure enough, 'hallucinating' was right behind 'writing poetry'. "Simon, Isabelle's hallucinating."

"No? Really? I would never have guessed that, especially since she's talking about pineapples and Shakespeare."

"Actually, I think that might just be Isabelle being Isabelle. I think that now she's hallucinating." I gestured towards Isabelle, who was lying on the floor and gazing at the ceiling. She squealed, "Oh, look at that shooting star!"

Alec, finally detaching from Magnus, came to join her. "Hey, you're right. I can see Orion's Belt!"

Isabelle giggled, "Yeah, and I can see that naughty constellation to his right trying to get inside Orion's Belt."

I raised an eyebrow at Simon, who was looking severely shaken. "How about a cup of tea?"

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(Jace's POV)

My plan was very simple: impersonate Alec. I checked the clock in the foyer. Five minutes until the Inquisitor arrived. To distract myself, I brainstormed possible scenarios of what would happen when Isabelle and Alec awoke from their faerie-liquor induced state. Scenario 1: Isabelle and Alec murder me and serve my head on a platter for dinner. Scenario 2: They drug me and then leave me strapped to the top of the Statue of Liberty- naked. Scenario 3: They forgive me completely, and buy me ice cream. Scenario 4: They super-glue me to a darts board and use me for weapons training (this would be Alec's idea—always the practical one, that one). So far, Scenario 3, unfortunately, was looking the least likely. I was just coming up with a possible Scenario 5 when the foyer doors burst open.

A buff, red-haired man with a beard that resembled an octopus entered the room.

"Alexander Lightwood, I presume?" he said in a sleek voice.

"Correct," I said. "And you must be Inquisitor Kennith Martin Ashborough."

He said, "Yes, I am. Funny, you don't look anything like your parents."

"Ah, well, my hair is usually black, but I died it blonde for a mission. You know undercover work these days," I said with false bravado.

"Quite," he said, his sharp black eyes taking me in appraisingly. He leaned closer, as though telling me a secret. "Do you know the punishment for lying to the High Inquisitor, Alexander Lightwood?"

I swallowed. "Yes. That's why I'm not lying."

"Excellent," he said with a syrupy-sweet smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Then we can continue with this debriefing in the library."

"I'm sorry," I said with a straight face, "but I'm not wearing briefs."

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(Clary's POV)

The stars, apparently, had morphed into clouds, and Alec and Isabelle were cloud-watching. "Hey, that cloud looks like a pie!" said Alec slurred.

"Yeah, and that one looks like a ballerina!" said Isabelle in an equally slurred voice, staring at the moldy pancake on the ceiling.

Alec and Isabelle were staring around as though they had never seen the kitchen before. Flipping over onto his stomach, Alec looked at Magnus. "Whoa, dude, look! It's a glittering rainbow!"

Isabelle swiveled to observe what Alec had pointed out. "You're right, big bro of mine! You know—hic—what they say about—hic—rainbows, right?"

"Noooo…What do they say about rainbows?" asked Alec in a sing-song voice.

"If you catch 'em, then—hic—a leprechaun comes out and gives you—hic—gold."

"That is so totally awesome! Come, on let's get the rainbow!" Alec jumped to his feet, swayed for a second, and then fell on his face.

While Alec and Isabelle were busy hallucinating, Simon, Magnus, and I were having a cup of tea. The tea, which was brewing, sat in the middle of the table surrounded by plates of cookies that Magnus had summoned with a snap.

"So, you and Alec, huh?" I said to Magnus, munching on a snickerdoodle.

"Yeah. Alec wants to tell his parents, but he keeps chickening out. He doesn't think that they'll accept him."

"Really? But Mayrse and Robert seem like the kind of people who would be accepting and understanding."

"That's what I think, too, but I guess it's different when you're the one telling your parents."

Just then, Isabelle approached the table, dragging Alec by one arm and saying, "Alec! Come on, this is no time for swimming. We've gotta catch that rainbow!" in between laughing hysterically. She latched onto Magnus's arm and sang, "I've got a rainbow, I've got a rainbow…"

Alec, meanwhile, hugged Magnus's leg tightly, and called up to Isabelle, "When is the leprechaun going to come?"

"I—hic—dunno… Maybe I have to cut the rainbow up…" So saying, Isabelle pulled a Seraph blade out of her boot.

"Whoa, no pointy objects," said Simon, and plucked the blade out of Isabelle's hand.

Isabelle gasped. "Alec, I've found the leprechaun!" She rounded on Simon. "Leppy—it is ok if I call you 'Leppy', right?—you need to give us your—hic—gold right now."

"Um, sorry. My gold is in a Swiss vault at this moment."

She stared blankly ahead of her, probably trying to process the words 'Swiss' and 'vault'. Things could get a little complicated when you were drunk. Then she looked up and said, "Silly rabbit! Trix are for kids!"

"Um, excuse me?" said Simon, confused.

"Oh, no, wrong commercial?"

Simon patted her head and said, "Sure, Isabelle. Wrong commercial."

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(Jace's POV)

"And you're sure that the powder was angel blood?" inquired Inquisitor Ashborough.

"Positive," I assured.

"This is not good," he said. "I'll notify the surrounding Institutes in nearby states to keep on the lookout for suspicious activity." He sighed and rose from the plush, paisley chair. "Keep me posted if anything happens."

As he rose, I noticed a flash of gold on his wrist. I was no expert in watches, but that thing could easily cost thousands of dollars. Shadowhunters weren't really prone to accessories such as these, so it was a little odd.

"I'll be going now," said Inquisitor Ashborough. He strode briskly through the library and then out of the foyer without so much as a casual 'Bye.'

Cold, I thought.

However, he had seemed to buy the fact that I was Alec, at least for now. So, mission accomplished. Speaking of Alec, I really needed to check up on Alec and Isabelle. I had spiked that coffee pretty heavily.

Rushing out of the library and down several flights of stone steps, I barged into the kitchen to find…

…Alec and Isabelle break dancing in the middle of the kitchen?

"Wow, I must have put in more of that faery brandy than I realized," I said, impressed at the effects.

"Don't sound so happy about it!" snapped Magnus. "They spent the last half hour convinced I was a rainbow, and they ruined my new shirt."

"You weren't complaining so much earlier," I retorted. "Besides, I can't really blame them for thinking you were a rainbow."

Clary intervened. "How long do these effects last, anyways?"

"Absolutely no idea," I said, truthfully, for once in my life.

Clary said, "This is not good. They've already had compulsive making out sessions, hallucinated several times, and now they're breakdancing."

"Well, at least they haven't attempted a gymnastics competition," I pointed out.

"That's on the list of side-effects?"

"Yes. Yes, it is."

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(Several hours later—Clary's POV)

"I did what?" said Alec, aghast.

"I told you. You made out with Magnus, then you hallucinated about the night sky and some rainbows, and then you break-danced," Jace informed him.

"Oh, no," said Alec, holding his head in his hands.

"It's ok. You were actually quite the break-dancer. You've been holding out on us, dude!"

"No, it's just—I didn't want you guys to find out about it like that…"

"Oh, that. No worries, we're totally cool with it."

"Really?" asked Alec, looking hopeful.

"Really," said Jace.

While all this was going on, Isabelle was fuming, her expression livid. "Jace Wayland! You are going to pay for this!" she shrieked. "I don't believe you!" She marched up to Jace and poked him in the chest, hard. "You know what? Since you can't be trusted to make coffee, I'm going to make coffee from now on."

There was a chorus of, "Really, you don't have to"s from the surrounding crowd.

I chimed in, "Isabelle, please. Think rationally. Besides, even in your drunk state, you still managed to quote Shakespeare."

"I did?" said Isabelle, momentarily impressed.

"Yeah," said Simon, catching on. "You recited Romeo and Juliet to me. It was really romantic."

"Awww. Well, I guess that's kind of cute." She pointed a menacing finger at Jace. "Don't think this means that you're off the hook, buddy." Then she stormed out of the kitchen, saying something about changing her clothes.

"Should I tell her about the pineapple? Or even the leprechaun, for that matter?" Simon whispered to me.

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her," I whispered back.