Journal 12
Disclaimer: I don't own
Talk-normal
Talk-3
"Talk"- 3 talking
Warnings for 3's temper and language
Land before swine
"Hey 3? Do you know anything strong enough to rip off a police car roof?" Dipper asked out of the blue.
"Well…I think any number of creatures in this town could do something so simple." 3 answered, confused. "Why do you ask?"
Dipper pulled out a file with newspaper clippings detailing a foot print, mining problem, livestock being taken, and a cop car being destroyed. "Hm…off the top of my entries, I can't think of anything. My Father concentrated on the visible weirdness…excluding the Hide-Behind, but he could hear it stalking him."
"That's alright, we, that is you, me, and Soos, will find this thing and take its picture and reveal its true face."
"Not that I'm disagreeing with the plan, but do you think it is…wise to let Soos handle something so…delicate?"
"What are you talking about?" Dipper asked, curious.
"Not to sound mean or anything, but Soos does have a habit of Soosing it up. Remember, he is a little clumsy and he did squish that fairy."
"No problem, I'll be setting the trap, Soos is just the muscle and everything will be fine."
"If you're sure…" 3 trailed of as Soos slammed open the door.
"Hey, ready little dude?"
"Am I!"
Dipper, 3, and Soos drive into the forest and stopped at a clearing to set everything up.
"Today's the day, Soos. Thanks for coming along on this mission."
Soos was sweating like crazy, "Dude it's an honor. Today I'm sweating from heat and excitement! Hoo!" Gross! TMI, pal!
"There's something hiding in these woods. Something big enough to rip the roof off a car. If we get a photo of this thing we'll be heroes!" Yeah! And they'll finally stop calling you paranoid and take you seriously!
"Yeah we'll get all the babes. You'll be fending off smooches with a stick!" Soos said, playfully nudging Dipper as 3 fumed.
"Ha ha, shut up, man."
"With a stick, dude!" You mean hatchet.
Dipper smiled and grabbed some rope, "Here, give me a boost".
Soos and Dipper tied 3 cameras to 3 trees, surrounding a large steak in the middle of the set up. Soos slides down to a branch where Dipper is drinking Pitt Cola.
"Oof! Got it. Is sap supposed to be this sticky?" Soos asked shaking his arms.
"If everything goes according to plan, the creature will grab that steak, cross through the string, and set off cameras A, B, and C." It's a great plan!
"And nothing can go wrong. High five!" Soos and Dipper high five but they get stuck
"This was poorly planned..." You might be right…
A roar suddenly and a harsh wind rushes by them and the cameras take pictures rapidly. Soos and Dipper look at it and the steak is gone, and the ropes are broken. Dipper and Soos give each other a huge smile
They came back to the Mystery Shack, passing Mabel who was going into town to get something for Waddles. I swear she will treat that pig better than her future children.
"We did it! It tripped the wire! Somewhere in one of these cameras is a photo of that creature! I'll go develop the film." Dipper called, running up stairs to turn the attic into a dark room.
"I'll go make us victory nachos. Dipper and Soos for life!"
"Let's hope a camera got an excellent photograph!"
"C'mon, c'mon! Hmm..." That's a wing! If camera B got the wing, then the one that should have gotten the rest is... camera C!" He ran over to another picture being developed. The photo starts to appear, "The creature!"
"It looks like that flying dinosaur!"
At that moment the door slammed open and Soos yelled, "Who wants victory nachos?"
The picture of the creature fades away and Dipper yelled, "NO!"
"You Soosed it up, AGAIN!" 3 screamed.
"Dude don't worry .I only ate like a third of them. Half of them. I ate all of them, dude!"
"Then what was the point of coming in here in the first place!?"
"Soos! You ruined the picture!" Dipper yelled.
"Huh, oh well, sorry, dude?"
"I can't believe you, man!" He said shoving the picture at him as 3 seethed.
"Sorry, dude. I was just so excited! Nachos cause excitement!"
"THERE ARE NO NACHOS IN THE FIRST PLACE!"
"Soos, no offense, but you gotta be more careful sometimes. I mean, what are the odds we'll get another picture of..." That moment a large grey-green thing flew past the window and let out a roar that shook the house.
"What was that? It looked like it had something." 3 whispered to Dipper and he and Soos ran downstairs to see Stan looking dazed and red yarn decorating the pine trees nearby.
"Dude, did you see that? That thing was a dinosaur, bro!"
"How is it possible that a dinosaur survived 65 million years?" Cave in with a lot of fish?
"Did you see it, Mr. Pines? Mr. Pines?" Soos asked a still shocked Stan.
"It- it took him."
"Took what?" Dipper asked, thinking back at what 3 said.
"The pig! It took Waddles!" Oh, dear…
Mabel happens to return at that moment and asked, "What did you say about Waddles? Oh. Woah. Awkward silence. BWAAAAH!" I think we should start running…
"What's going on? Why are you standing around are awkwardly... And where's Waddles?" She continued, looking for her precious pig in confusion.
Stan cleared his thought and hid a metal stake behind his back, "The good news is you're getting a puppy!" Nice way to break it gently.
"What happened?" She asked concerned.
"Well! See, uh, when the uh-" Stan was for once, struck speechless.
"Your pig got eaten by a pterodactyl, bro!" Soos cut in.
"What is wrong with you!?" 3 yelled as Dipper cringed.
"What!? Waddles? Waddles! Oh no, how did this happen? Grunkle Stan, you didn't put him outside?" She asked, on the verge of tears.
"What? No! I didn't put him anywhere! I'm not acting suspicious! YOU'RE acting suspicious. What's a pig?" Wait, did you put him outside?
"Then... what happened?" Dipper asked, not believing him and trying to calm his twin down.
"Uh, look, it went down like this, see? So there I was, in the living room...tenderly nursing him on only the richest of creams. When all of a sudden- a Pterodactyl bursts through the door and roars it grabs Waddles out of my arms! So I said, 'No dice, cowboy!' And I started punching him right in the face! But he played dirty...That really happened! Why? Why couldn't you have taken me!?" Stan made up a story 3 could smell was a lie as he cried crocodile tears.
"Please, only an idiot would believe that."
"Oh, Grunkle Stan, you tried to save him!" Mabel said as she hugged him with tears coming down her eyes.
"Uh, yeah! I'm a great man, alright."
"You punched the pterodactyl in the face? I thought you didn't even believe in the supernatural." Dipper pointed out, agreeing with 3's assessment of the story.
"Dinosaurs aren't magic, they're just big lizards! Get off my back." Stan shouted guiltily.
"Oh, Waddles." Mabel sobbed looking at a picture.
"That's it. No pterodactyl is gonna messes with MY sister. We're gonna go out there, catch him, and save your pig! For Mabel, guys!" Dipper called.
"For Mabel!"
"For Mabel!"
"But how do we even find the little guy? Also, where is that voice coming from?" Stan asked
Mabel ignored him and pointed at the red yarn from Waddle's half-finished sweater, "We follow that!"
"Yes! Yeah! That's genius!"
"Or, you know, we could just call it a day, maybe hit the pool hall, or…Yeah! Let's go... save Woggles!" Stan amended as everyone stared at him.
"Waddles." Mabel corrected.
"Him too."
They all packed out Soos's truck to go pterodactyl hunting, "All right! That p-terodactyl won't know what hit him!" Soos called as he finished spray painting the truck.
"Ha! It's pterodactyl." Dipper pointed out.
"Actually, no one knows how to pronounce it because nobody was alive back in dinosaur days, so uh..." He leans under the car bed to strap the cage to truck and nearly gets run over. "Whoa! Almost ran over my own head there! Wow." Well, that's not morbid.
"Mabel. We've got to talk. This is a really high-stakes mission and I'm a little worried about Soos coming along on this one. I love the guy, but sometimes he messes stuff up." Dipper said to Mabel.
"What? Since when?" The twins stared at each other, silently communicating and Mabel said.
"Let him down easy."
Dipper approached Soos who looked over and said, "This is so great! You and me, bro. Best friends. Fighting and potentially high-fiving dinosaurs..."
Dipper began nervously, "Soos look. I, uh, I've gotta tell you something."
"Okay. But before you do, check out these matching shirts I made for us! Whose this guy right here? You! Totally you, dude. And these rays indicate friendship!"
"Emotional blackmail, nice…"
"What was it you were going to tell me again? Does it involve that weird voice that I always here around you and that strange book?"
Dipper couldn't say it and said, "Uh... p-terodactyl here we come! Uh, ha ha..." He laughed nervously.
"Yes!"
"Bros before dinos!"
They got into the car and went into the forest. Dipper sighed and said, "I couldn't do it, 3. I couldn't tell him…"
"I wouldn't have done it either. As much as I hate his appearing out of nowhere, he really is a good guy who has his heart in the right place, but is just too clumsy."
"I know that, but we can't afford any more mistakes. This isn't about getting proof or recognition, but Waddle's life is on the line. One false move could lead to Depressed Mabel again."
"We just to hope he doesn't Soos-up majorly and it'll just be a quick smash and grab." 3 said optimistic.
"I hope you're right."
They follow the red string to an abandoned church, they entered the church and found Old Man McGucket playing a banjo on top of the alter, "Doodly doo do Doo do!"
"Old Man McGucket!?" Mabel asked surprised.
"Howdy, friends!"
"What are YOU doing out here?" Dipper asked.
"You'll never believe me! Now I was doing my hourly hootenanny- Deedly doo ding dang!" He said as he danced. Good for you…
"Ugh, this guy." Stan groaned.
"When this enormous wing-ly critter stole my musical spoons and flew lickety-split into the abandoned mines down yonder!" He pointed to a gaping abyss in front of them.
"Looks kind of hairy down there." Stan said apprehensively.
"C'mon, Grunkle Stan, you can handle it! You punched a pterodactyl in the face, remember?" Mabel pointed out innocently.
"Oh yeah! Heh heh, I did do that, didn't I. Heh... heh heh heh..." He laughed guiltily.
"My! What suspicious laughter!" I agree with you old man.
"Guys, we're going in."
"Need someone to tag along and tell weird personal stories?" McGucket asked as they climbed down into the abyss.
"No thanks."
McGucket ignored Stan as they climbed down, "So there I am, fighting a raccoon for the same piece of meat, when our mouths get close and we kiss accidentally!"
"Good for you."
"You can't take a hint, can you." Stan sighed.
"Nope!"
The rope suddenly jerked and frayed through itself, it then broke, dropping everyone and they landed on an over grown fungus.
"Whoa." Dipper said looking around. They were in an old mine that held a gapping tunnel in front of them surrounded by ancient looking plants as everyone gazed in awe.
"These plants look all Jurrasic-y." Dipper said looking at a strange flower.
"Huh! This little guy smells like battery acid!" Soos said smelling another flower, how would you know that? The plant then coughs acid into his face and he screamed, "Aaaugh! Looks like I lost my sense of smell, ha ha ha!"
Mabel looked at a picture of her and Waddles, "Oh, Waddles. We're gonna find you."
They walk into a tunnel, pasting by the skeleton of a miner, Dipper held up his lantern to see a T-Rex staring down at them. They screamed for a bit when they saw it but then they looked closer to see it imprisoned in amber.
"They're trapped inside the tree sap! That's how they survived for 65 million years!
"Wow, tree sap is dangerous" 3 commented as they went deeper into the cavern, passing dinosaurs from all eras until Dipper found a hole in the sphere that looked like a pterodactyl.
"Whoa. The summer heat must be melting them loose!" So it's like maple-flavored ice!
"Holy moly! Forget the cornicorn; this is the attraction of a lifetime! I could bring people down here and turn this into some sort of theme park! Jurrasic... Sap Hole!" Stan exclaimed, forgetting about Waddles and his guilt.
"Uh, dudes..." Soos said nervously as he pointed at a velociraptor that has worked one single claw out of the sap and is slowly working on a hand.
"Maybe... we should keep moving." Dipper said nervously.
"I agree…"
"This could be a gold mine! Velvety-rope type deal there, ticket booth here, ha! I should have put that pig outside ages ago!" Stan unknowingly admitted in his excitement.
"Wait- what did you just say?" Mabel asked shocked, whirling to face Stan.
"Hm? What's that?"
"You said the dinosaur flew INTO the house." She then gasped and frowned at Stan
"No! Wait, uh, if you think about it…" Stan tried to save himself to no avail.
"You put Waddles outside then you lied to me about it! And now thanks to you my pig could be dead! WADDLES COULD BE DEAD!" She screamed crying in anger and grief with betrayal in her eyes.
"Look, he's an animal. He belongs outside!" Stan said forcefully.
"No- that's it. Grunkle Stan, I am never ever speaking to you again!" She screamed and turned away from him. Oh, silent treatment from Mabel, that's worse then screaming.
"Look, you can't be serious."
"Oh, is someone talking right now? Because I can't hear them!" Ouch, now you're dead to her.
"Kid!"
"LA LA LA LA LA! I can't hear anyone! No one's talking to me!"
Dipper, 3, McGucket, and Soos was watching the soap opera play out and Soos tried to get them to stop. "Guys, guys, don't fight! Why can't you be more like me and Dipper! Look, everything's gonna be cool. All we gotta do to find the pig is follow this here yarn!"
"Yeah, he's right, all we need to do is to follow the…" 3 trailed off as Soos wraps yarn into a ball, thus destroying the trail.
"Just keep following and following, until we reach the end! Oh- uh oh. Which- which cave was it again?"
"Oh God SOOS!"
"Arghhh! Soos, you lost the trail!" Dipper screamed, fed up with his friend's clumsiness.
"Hey, come on. We'll find our way, TRUST me."
Soos whacks Dipper playfully on the back, causing the lantern Dipper is holding to fly out of his hands and break.
"Way to go…You know what…STOP HELPING!" 3 snapped at the end of her rope.
"...Sorry, dude."
"Ugh! That is it! See, this is why I didn't want to bring you along!" Dipper yelled at the shocked Soos.
"Look! -What -what do you mean?"
"I MEAN, this is really important to Mabel, and you keep screwing everything up! You ruined our photograph, and now you got us hopelessly lost!"
"But we're the p-terodactyl bros! I made us the t-shirts!" Soos said, holding up one of his T-shirts.
"It's pronounced pterodactyl! And these shirts are useless, they're gigantic!"
"I have a different body type, dude!" Soos said, getting angry also.
"Oh, so it's my fault?" Dipper asked as 3 was simmering. The entire group deteriorated into an argument with 3 and Dipper yelling at Soos, and Mabel ignoring the enraged Stan while McGucket stepped in.
"Hey! Cheer up, fellas! I fixed your lantern!" He exclaimed, holding it up to see something big hovering above him. Oh…God…3 thought as everyone started to scream while McGucket looked confused.
He turned around and sees the pterodactyl, "Hmm? Oh. Nobody make any sudden movements or loud noises. YEEEEEEHAW! We found a pterodactyl!" McGucket screamed, not following his own advice.
The pterodactyl shrieks and starts chasing the gang down the narrow tunnel on all fours. It gets caught for a couple of seconds in a doorway, allowing them to hide behind some oddly-shaped rocks before the pterodactyl comes.
"Guys, we need a plan to get out of here." Dipper whispered frantically, as the dino tried to sniff them out.
"Okay, okay. How's about Mabel gets Soos a pig costume-" Stan began.
"I like it!"
"...and we use Soos as a human sacrifice!"
"I like it!" Soos and 3 agreed.
"What do you say, Mabel?"
Mabel turns away, still giving him the cold shoulder.
"Ah, come on, you can't stop talking to me forever." Stan complained.
"Yeah, Mabel, we have to work together here." Dipper pleaded.
"Oh, what, you want to work with Mabel but not your buddy, Soos?" Soos said offended as they once again dissolved into an argument until they heard Waddle's call.
"Wait, did you hear that?" Mabel shushed as they turned to see Waddles in the nest, unharmed.
"Waddles!" Mabel screamed in joy and ran towards the nest.
"Oh, wait, kid." Soos cried.
"Mabel!" Dipper yelped.
"You're going near a pterodactyl nest!"
"Are you nuts?" Stan called after her.
"Oh, is someone speaking? Because I can't hear anything!" Mabel said scathingly ignoring Stan.
"This isn't the time, Mabel; you're going to get killed over a pig!"
"Oh no! She's gone deaf with fear!" McGucket screamed.
"Mabel, come back here!" Dipper called as they ran across the mining cart track over to the nest.
"Waddles!" Mabel cried in joy as she grabbed her pig.
"Oh, my Waddles! I'll never lose you again!" She sighed as she clutched at Waddles desperately.
Dipper notices the human bones nearby and tremblingly asked, "Uh... Mabel?"
"Shh. You're safe now." She ignored him to comfort Waddles.
"Mabel, quick! We gotta- now we gotta get out of here!" Dipper whispered as Mabel placed Waddles into a baby carrier.
"Who, knows when the dinosaur will come back!?" 3 pleaded as a huge shadow passes overhead and Waddles squeals in terror and runs away into Stan.
"Waddles! Wait!"
"Ah! Get off me, you dumb pig!" Stan yelled as the pterodactyl swoops down at Stan and Waddles.
"Look out!" Dipper cried as everyone screams as the pterodactyl knocks Stan off the mining track and down into a deep chasm filled with prehistoric plants.
"Oh no!"
"Stan!" Dipper and 3 screamed.
"Mr. Pines!"
Stan landed safely on a mushroom and landed in mud as Waddles rolled around. Phew.
The pterodactyl drops Stan's fez in front of Dipper, Mabel, and Soos, who are crouching terrified in the pterodactyl's nest. They gasp.
"Guys! We gotta save him!" Mabel said desperately. Who, 3 wasn't sure?
"McGucket, do you have an invention that can distract the pterodactyl?" Dipper asked turning to the old man.
"Do I!?" He rummages around in his hat for a few seconds, "Nope."
Everyone gasps as the solitary pterodactyl egg cracks, falls on its side, and opens to reveal a baby pterodactyl, which makes a squeaking peeping noise.
"Aww!" Mabel cooed
"It's so cute for a prehistoric monster."
"Well! Welcome to the world, little feller- AAAAUGH!" McGucket screamed when the baby swallowed him whole as everyone screams.
"It Leaderaur all over again!"
The chick was satisfied with the old man and started to sniff around its nest, ignoring the three humans and books.
"Ah dude! Did he really just eat that prospector guy? That is messed up!" Soos muttered, looking at the twins.
The baby pterodactyl spits out McGucket's hat. Then old man McGucket comes up from the pterodactyl's neck and peeks out from the mouth."
"I'm okay!" He called over. Well that's a relief.
The baby pterodactyl swallows McGucket again. Mabel, Dipper and Soos backs off nervously.
"I hope Stan and Waddles are alright." 3 said nervously.
"What do we do, what do we do!" Dipper asked, looking around for something to save them from the cute monster.
"We have to get in a straight line." Soos declared.
"What?" Dipper asked cynically.
"The pterodactyl's eyes are so far apart, that if you stand right in front of it, it can't see you!"
"Like a blind spot?"
"Soos, you've been wrong about stuff all day. How can we-" Dipper asked, doubtful.
"Dude, look. I-I know I've messed up a lot. I could be sort of clumsy and…It's not always as loveable as I think. But please, as my friend, just trust me on this one!" Soos pleaded with Dipper.
Dipper looks at the baby pterodactyl and looks at Soos. Dipper gives a smile and nods at Soos, deciding to trust him one more time.
"Get behind me, Dudes!"
Dipper, 3, and Mabel stands behind Soos. They move quietly. When the pterodactyl looks at them, they make a straight line. In the pterodactyl's eyes, they are out of its vision."
"It's working!" 3 and Mabel whispered, awed.
They walk on the track, making a line. When the pterodactyl turns it's head, they jump to the other line of the track. After they complete their crossing, the pterodactyl turns its attention to eating stuff. The Pines twins and Soos rest behind the rocks. They all sigh.
"Soos, you did it!" Dipper said happily.
"Good job! 10/10!"
A cry of a pterodactyl is heard; they looked over to the Momma-pterodactyl and heard the sound of a fist meeting flesh.
"Was that..?" Dipper began speechlessly and Mabel finished, "Stan?"
They looked on in awe as Stan punches the pterodactyl's eyes and face in with Waddles hanging from the baby carrier Mabel held all day.
"Waddles!" Mabel cried happily.
"He's punching him in the face!"
"Who would've thought, Stan predicted the future!"
Stan finished the dino off with a blow to the head and the dino slams into the cliff and fell as Stan climbed up with Waddles wiggling to get to Mabel.
Mabel stares at Stan delighted with Stan's hat.
"Here's your pig, kiddo." He said as he gave her pet.
"Waddles!" She held Waddles closely and looks at him with tears in her eyes, "You saved him for me!"
Stan put his hat back on and said, "Yeah, well. Sometimes you just gotta…LOOK OUT!" He called when he sensed the pterodactyl was climbing up behind them. It even, much to 3's terror, takes a chunk of Dippers vest as he lagged behind a bit. They pasted by the T-rex and the dino clips it slightly but was still after them. They ran though the tunnels and saw the rope they came down from still broken.
"We're trapped!"
Dipper looks around and sees the geyser pumping the rock up. "Quick! The geyser could shoot us back up!"
They all climb in the geyser and the pterodactyl is approaching, but the geyser won't pump.
"C'mon…Go, go!" Dipper called desperately as the pterodactyl roars and everyone screams.
"Bros before dinos!" Soos called as he hits the geyser hard and the geyser pumps them up and they land into the building all wet. The building collapses and covers the hole.
"That…was to close for comfort…" 3 said exhausted as Mabel looked at her worriedly, concerned that she was close to snapping. Mabel turned to Stan and said, "I can't believe you did all that for Waddles!"
"Ah, well. I can't have my favorite niece not talking to me. And if I gotta leap onto a pterodactyl and punch him in the face, then that's what I gotta do."
"That's kind of sappy." Mabel said, making a pun when she noticed him leaning on tree sap.
"W-what? That's how I feel!"
"No, I mean…"
"Oh, yeah." He touches Mabel's face with the hand has sap on it, "Gotcha! Ha ha ha ha." He then realizes he can't take it off, "Uh-oh". He tries to put his hand off from Mabel as they both scream in pain.
They finally got separated and Stan asked, "I might be my hearing aids acting up, but though out our adventure, I could've sworn I heard a little voice talking."
"Must be the wind." Dipper and Mabel said off-handedly.
"Good enough for me!"
They were driving back to the Shack as Mabel, Waddles and Stan are sleeping in the back with Dipper, 3, and Soos are sitting up in front.
"Check it out!" Dipper said, holding his ruined vest up.
"Yeah, that was scary, you nearly died." 3 whispered up to Dipper, emotionally exhausted.
"That thing destroyed my vest!" He notices a pterodactyl's tooth stuck in it, "Soos, look!"
"A real dinosaur tooth? That's awesome!"
"Not as awesome as you saving us back there. Pterodactyl bros?
"Pterodactyl bros." They fist bump, "Whoosh! Hey! I pronounced it right that time!"
"Think we need to worry about the rest of those dinosaurs?" Dipper asked.
"I doubt it."
3 laughed quietly and rested, before a vision flashed to 3. It showed Gideon holding 2 looking at a page with a triangle with a single eye and limbs on it. It ended and 3 whispered.
"Dinosaurs aren't the problem here."
A/N: Well there you have it, I was going to do Boss Mabel, but another idea dawned on me and I had to get this episode out of the way. I will probably do some of the episodes I skipped over later, but I first have to introduce someone you've all waiting for.