Closing her eyes she tried not to wince. Her implant was red hot, she could feel it under the bones, like a fire brand against her brain. The pain was burning - and of course, you can't pull away from something embedded inside you.

"Here".

Opening her eyes she looked at the glass of water being offered, glancing up at him as she lifted a hand to take it, one eyebrow raised in question.

"Don't give me that look. I know you well"

"Too well" she murmured, the glass against her lip as she prepared to sip.

"And I'm a Biotic too - that fight went on too long and you didn't let up. You'll do yourself some serious damage like that, you know that - you might have the L3 but it still has limits and you were over them today. It's a weapon, you're a weapon - respect it. Overheat your gun and you'll need a trip to the armory - overheat your implant and you'll be in the Medbay...and who knows when you'll be out".

She sighed despite herself, a streak of teenager rebellion that hadn't died even as she entered her thirties flaring up inside her. It wasn't that taking orders was a problem - she was Alliance after all. Everyone might think she did her own thing, but it wasn't the case. It was just in recent years the orders her superiors had given allowed for more interpretation.

But being told to take care of herself? That never went down well. She hated doctors, Chakwas was the only exception and even the Normandy medical officer struggled to make Shepard attend for a physical. She downplayed any injuries, including her death, and never took the advice she issued to others. Shepard hated to be reminded of her mortality - and hated to look weak. Hated any attention that was focused on her weak points, her human frailties. She acted as though if by ignoring it, it wouldn't be a problem.

Days like today proved the danger in that. But even when she knew it, she didn't appreciate the lecture - not even from Kaidan. Her irritation showed in a crinkle that appeared across her nose as she lowered her gaze to the water she was gulping.

"Shepard...c'mon. I'm serious. You know you have to be careful".

"You sound like my mother" she pointed out as she lowered the glass. "I'm fine".

"Today you are. But I'm serious - cool it. Hackett, Anderson - they want you at your best. Frying your brain with an overheated implant...is not your best".

"Were you this much of a pain to your squad?"

"When they need to be told to watch themselves, yes" he said, taking the empty glass and heading back to the bathroom. She could hear the water gurgling in the facet again and in a moment there was another full glass before her. "Drink".

"You're normally sexier then this when you're in charge" Shepard said, still sounding slightly irritated as she continued the back chat. It wasn't just Kaidan's probing - she knew he meant well - she felt frazzled and frustrated and the pain made her grouchy.

"Someone has to take care of you" he pointed out, taking a seat beside her, one hand lifting to brush her hair back. There was a scar, a line where hair never grew, and his finger brushed over it - though there was nothing he could really do. Keeping hydrated and waiting was the best bet. They both knew that. But his touch was a sign of how he wished he could help more, she knew that. She knew the feeling. It must be a little like she felt during his migraines - helpless, useless, but trying anyway.

Draining the glass she put it down and then leaned back, settling against him, his arm moving from her hair to slip around her shoulder and he kissed her temple gently.

"I'm not supposed to need taking care of".

"You're human. Everyone else forgets that, you forget that...but I don't. And if you don't respect your own limits I will keep reminding you. I'll nag if I have to" he told her, pressing another kiss against her hair. "And...here...you don't have to be so brave. Not with me" he added in a softer voice. "I know what the pain feels like. It's not weak".

"I can't afford to compromise my performance. I have to push myself - there's so much riding on us".

"Don't burn yourself out, that's all I'm saying. I know you want to be the best, and give your all - but if you give too much now, what about later? What about...afterwards?"

There was a long silence as she considered his words. Afterwards. She never really thought about it, but just for a moment she let herself. Shifting she lay down, her head on his lap, her sore throbbing temple against his legs, and she closed her eyes as he stroked his fingers through her hair, waiting to see if she'd respond.

"After? What do you...picture...after?" she asked.

"Well...us, obviously. I'd like to go home. British Columbia. I love space, love the Alliance, don't get me wrong, but home...is still on Earth. So...help rebuild. Retire from the military and do some good as a civilian. Kids...a dog would be nice. Something...normal. But most important is that I'm with you". His confession was halting. Nervous, as he admitted dreams that maybe couldn't be, a hope so precious he barely let himself think about it, but still cherished. "Does that sound...ok to you?"

She was silent as she considered it. It was so hard to picture a future. A life without gunfire. A life without war. Something after the Reapers - but if you had nothing to look forward to, what were you fighting for?

Growing old with Kaidan. A life with solid ground under her feet. Helping without putting themselves in harms way. Children...his dark hair, her eyes maybe. The images that came to mind felt like catalogue photos - the two of them on a sandy beach with a dog whose fur was sodden with sea foam. Decorating a Christmas tree, floating a star to top, their biotics used only to avoid fetching a ladder. Bath time with a toddler, splashing and soap bubbles and child's laughter, pudgy feet sticking out from a towel. It was hard for her to imagine. An only child than orphaned in her teen years - family was something other people had. Hard to imagine...but not unpleasant.

"Shepard?"

"I never really thought about it...a life beyond the military. But than...I never really thought I'd meet someone like you" she murmured. "I always thought I was more suited to fighting than family but...with you...I think it would be an adventure".

More revealing than 'I love you'. Those words had never felt so hard to say. She did love him, she knew that, knew she could love him - that she couldn't place him over the needs of the universe, but it didn't mean she loved him less, only that she was her duty. But to admit that she wanted to believe they could have children and something stable, security, family...that felt vulnerable.

"Then try and take care of yourself, so we can have this adventure one day. There's nobody I'd want that future with but you".