Arcadia

Kate blinks her eyes open, her mouth a sock and her body curiously empty. The monitor beeps steadily, an IV in the crook of her elbow so that she can't bend her arm, and she rolls her head to see her partner. He's in the chair beside her bed, his eyes closed, and he's got one of her hands trapped between both of his.

It's the only point of warmth, the rest of her body prickling with gooseflesh, and she wriggles her fingers to get his attention. Castle comes stumbling right up out of his chair, perching on the edge of the mattress next to her hip, and his body bows over hers. "Kate. You're awake."

"How long was I out?"

"Well, you were semi-conscious in the ambulance and when we first got here. You've been out cold for, uh. . .for about four and a half hours," he says, brushing the hair back out of her face. Kate works her tongue through her mouth, the insides of her throat stuck together, and she scrunches her face up. "Here. You can have sips of water."

Castle passes her the plastic cup and she lifts it to her mouth, grateful that at least her limbs seem to be in working order. The water slides easily down her throat and she gulps, spluttering when Castle takes the cup away from her again. "M'thirsty."

"I know," he says gently, setting the cup down on the table next to her bed. Just out of arm's reach, and she grumbles at him. "You can't have too much at once. You might throw up."

"I threw up," she says, the memory of hunching over the toilet bowl assaulting her all over again, and Kate wrinkles her nose. Her mind is foggy, and she has to grasp at wispy ghouls for a sense of what she's missing. "I. . .was poisoned?"

Raking a hand through his hair, Castle growls and turns half away from her. His jaw is a stone edge, his mouth stitched into a seam. "Why did you drink the tea, Kate? You said it tasted funny. Why did you do that?"

"I didn't want to fail," Kate says quietly, but at least it makes him turn back and look at her. She lifts a hand, and of course he takes it. He almost lost her, and his fingers curl around her own. "She was suspicious enough of me as it was. I thought if I refused to drink she might do something worse. Stab me or something."

"So you let yourself get poisoned?" Castle says flatly. His fingers twitch against hers, and now that she's really looking she sees the sallow stretch of his skin over his skull, the great swathes of shadow under his eyes.

Kate scrubs two fingers against her forehead and sighs, peering at him from the corner of her eye. "I didn't drink all of it. Only a few mouthfuls. I figured whatever was in there wouldn't kill me if I didn't drink it all."

"You didn't know that," he yells, shifting back to his chair beside her bed again. "For God's sake, Kate. I almost had to watch you die again. I can't- don't you dare send me away."

"I'm not recovering from a bullet to the chest this time," she huffs, folding one arm over her abdomen to shield herself. A wash of guilt visibly cascades over her partner and he reaches for her, grappling for her hand and lifting it to his mouth. He kisses each of her knuckles before he lets her have her fingers back, and Kate feathers them against his jaw.

Shifting his chair closer to the bed, Castle props an elbow against the mattress, but that won't do. Bracing her weight against her palms, Kate shifts over until her hipbone is pressed against the railing and pats the space next to her. "Get in. I'm cold. Warm me up."

"I'll call for the nurse, get you another blanket," he says, getting to his feet, but Kate yanks on his arm and makes him stumble right into the bed. He grumbles, but he makes himself comfortable and slides his arm around her shoulders, arranging her to lean against his chest.

"Tell me what happened?" she yawns, her eyes sliding closed again, but the creature in her belly roars to life and rumbles away, making her laugh and press a palm there to quiet it. "Did they pump my stomach?"

Castle's mouth comes to her temple in a shadow of a kiss, the arm not around her shoulders sliding underneath the sheets to let his hand settle over hers. "No, they didn't. They gave you a few doses of activated charcoal to soak up the salicylate from the aspirin. And a laxative, to move the mixture through your gastrointestinal system faster."

"Jeez," Kate wrinkles her nose, understanding now why she feels so emptied out. "That must have been super attractive, Castle. Are you sure you still want to be here?"

"I wasn't here for that part," he chuckles, his happy mouth coming to her forehead in a kiss, like he's pleased with her. "One of the nurses sent me away. Said she knew from how I was swooning that I love you, and that you wouldn't want me seeing you like that. I was banished to the waiting room."

Kate yawns again, pressing the back of her hand over her mouth, and when it passes she lets her head thud against Castle's shoulder. "I'm glad. I know you saw me puking earlier today, but I'd like to maintain a little bit of sex appeal for a while longer."

"I still think you're beautiful," he says, the tip of his index finger tracing the very top curve of her ear. "And soft."

"Did you say aspirin?" she asks, to distract herself from the flare of tight need that comes to life inside her. It's not even like she really wants to act on it; she's exhausted, and she wants to stay in bed with her partner's warm body beside her for at least a week.

Kate snuggles down closer against his side and Castle's fingers drift to skim along her collarbone and down, playing with the ends of her hair. She feels good like this, sleepy and snug, but his hand squeezes her arm and she figures that it's unfair of her to fall asleep on him again.

How afraid he must have been, to watch the life spilling out of her for the second time in a year.

"Yeah. Bill had gone to the community centre to get some tools from storage there, to try and help us fix the toilet. He got back when they were loading you into the ambulance."

Kate frowns, tugging herself out from under the fallen limb of Castle's arm. She doesn't want to be slumped and subdued for this. "How did he know?"

"Maggie had texted him. She said you had a headache, and it wouldn't shift so you kept taking more and more aspirin and she was worried you might have overdosed. She asked him to check on you. He told the EMTs what they were dealing with. Might have saved your life."

A growl rumbles in her chest and she grinds her teeth, drawing her knees up in the bed until she's curled up small. Both of Castle's arms come around her and his face presses against her neck, his breathing slow and steady like he's trying to hold back the flood of emotion.

"She tried to kill me, Castle. I didn't take any aspirin. Not willingly."

"I guess she was trying to cover her tracks," her partner says, his fingers busy at the ends of her hair again. She's not sure he's stopped touching her since she woke up, and Kate nuzzles her nose against the thunder of his pulse in silent thanks. "But it only solidified her guilt."

"Is she in jail?" Kate asks, all of her earlier sympathy washing clean away. She and Maggie might both have suffered a loss, but where Beckett channelled her grief into helping others, it tipped Maggie right over the edge.

Castle kisses her cheek, his lips coming to flirt with the corner of her mouth as if he wants to kiss her properly but isn't sure if he's allowed. Her mouth still tastes musty, and Kate lays her head against his shoulder in answer, her hand splaying at his thigh.

"Uniformed officers searched her house, found the bottle of aspirin in the trash. It only had her prints on it, not yours. And they found the mortar and pestle she used to grind up the pills, traces of aspirin in it. She confessed to all of it, Kate. To killing those four women, and trying to kill you."

"Good," she says darkly, and Castle huffs a breath of bitter laughter. "Kind of worth almost dying if it means she goes away."

That makes her partner growl against the shell of her ear, his fingers clutching hard at her. "No. Nothing's worth that. Don't you dare do that to me again."

"I'm sorry," Kate whispers, letting Castle tuck the sheets in around her waist and cluck like a hen. "It was reckless, and selfish. Something I would have done two years ago, when you were a jackass and not. . ."

"Somebody you love?" he says softly, his whole body grinding to a halt beside her, and he leans back against the pillows. His lips curve in an easy smile, but something inside her chest feels tight, as if she's right back on the bathroom floor searching for breath again.

He's not quite able to meet her eyes, picking at a loose thread on the starch-crisp hospital sheet, and Kate reaches for him. Fingers curling at his ears, she draws him down until his forehead presses against hers. "I meant it. I love you, Castle. I'm sorry that it took me nearly dying to say it."

"It's okay," he soothes, tugging away enough that he can wrap his arms around her and bring her in against his chest. Castle tucks her underneath his chin, his fingers coming around to the back of the hospital gown. She figures he might slip them inside and skim over her bare back, but instead he holds the material closed to protect her naked skin from the chill.

"Not okay," she says against his chest. He's still in that t-shirt from this morning, his coat draped over the back of the chair, and the inside of his bicep is so smooth and lovely against her ear. "I should have said it back to you right away. I was a coward."

That makes him snort and he cranes his neck at an awkward angle to see her. "You're joking right? You willingly drank poison so that you could catch a killer. You couldn't be further from a coward."

"Meant with my heart," she huffs, wanting to knock her head against him, but she's so very sleepy. Hungry, but her stomach still quivers with nerves and she's not eager to eat right now even if they do let her. "Do you know when I can go home."

"You're still getting alkaline diuresis in your IV," he winces, fingers playing at the crook of her elbow just to the left of the dressing. "They have to keep giving it until your blood salicylate is low enough. But you're awake now. You're not confused anymore, or hallucinating. Those are good signs."

What happened after Kate got home is still mostly a blur, her brain in a swirling fog, and she hooks her fingers into the pocket of his jeans. "I was hallucinating?"

"You begged me not to let our baby die," he says, his face twisted in horror and his mouth an ugly slash. "And then you were semi-conscious for a bit when we first got to the hospital, and you felt that your stomach was flat and you were hysterical. They had to sedate you, because you were screaming about our son."

"God," she breathes, pressing a hand over her eyes. "Castle, I'm sorry."

He circles her wrist in his fingers and brings her hand slowly away, lacing their fingers together. "Don't be sorry. It's not your fault."

"Still," she grumps, burying her face against the grey cotton of his t-shirt. "You call my dad?"

"No," he says, a little sheepish, and his fingers work their way into her hair and knead at her nape. It sends a tide of liquid heat rolling down her spine and Kate groans, stretching her legs out in the bed like a cat. "Everything was kind of chaotic. And they said that I'm your emergency contact?"

Kate reaches for his hand and draws his arm tighter around her shoulders, tangling their fingers together. "Yeah. I changed it after I was shot. Wasn't. . .brave enough to ask you for permission."

"It's not a problem," he says immediately, kissing her temple again. "I was just surprised."

"I woke up after I was shot, and even though I was with Josh, even though my dad was there, I wanted you. So I changed my contacts, because I didn't want to put my dad through that again. Because. . .I want you here, if something happens."

Castle gets his mouth at her ear, his fingers tapping a happy little dance at the curve of her waist, and she feels the bloom of his grin. "You've been my emergency contact for two years."

"Oh," she says, another yawn sinking its teeth into her, and when Castle guides her to lay down she doesn't struggle against him. He cradles her head until it meets the pillow, drawing the sheets up over her shoulders and brushing the hair out of her face. "Stay?"

"I'm staying right here," he promises, propping the weight of his body on one elbow. His hand settles at her cheek and his thumb sweeps back and forth next to her eye, his voice low and rumbling. "I won't leave you, Kate. Try and get some more sleep."

"You sleep too," she slurs, pushing on his arm until he gives in and lays flat, nose to nose with her. Kate does her best to drape the sheets over him and he helps, resting his arm at her waist and shifting across the mattress until their thighs kiss.

It's the only way for the sheet to cover them both, and Kate rests her head against Castle's chest and nuzzles her nose into the warmth of him. His voice makes a shiver rip through her, chin just bumping the crown of her head. "Nurses are gonna be mad when they find us like this."

"Don't care," she huffs, fisting a hand in his shirt. "You're staying."

He's gone when she wakes up in the morning. Actually gone, and her heart thunders frantically. Kate struggles upright and squints against the insect hum of the hospital's strip lighting, his chair at her bedside empty of him.

She's in a private room. Last night she'd been too tired - too grateful to be alive - to even notice her surroundings, her whole being caught up in keeping Castle close and making it through their conversation. But now it's morning, and she notices the space and the extra pillows she knows she wouldn't have if Castle weren't splashing his money around.

A nurse comes in to check her vitals and smiles to see her awake, apologises for the intrusion as she reads the machines.

"Do you know where my partner went?"

"Mr Castle?" the nurse asks, her cheeks pinking at the mention of him, and Kate rolls her eyes. He's probably got half of the hospital staff smitten with him by now. "He just went downstairs to grab a cup of coffee. He should be back any minute."

Clearing her throat, Kate cards a self-conscious hand through her hair and hopes she's going to be allowed to shower soon. "Did he stay all night?"

"Yep," the nurse laughs. "Sweet-talked his way into being allowed to share your bed. And since we're only keeping you for observation and your signs are back to normal now, we didn't have the heart to tell him no. You slept in his arms, honey."

The man in question appears as if he's been summoned, a to-go cup in each hand, and he lifts them in question. "Hey, Hannah. Is Kate allowed to have this? It's decaf."

"Only if you drink it slowly," the nurse says, sliding her pen back into the pocket of her uniform. "Don't go upsetting your stomach. It's gonna be a little nervous for a while."

"When can I go home?" Kate asks, feeling so small in the hospital bed. She hates the gown, hates how it drowns her, and she wishes her partner weren't all the way on the other side of the room.

The nurse smiles widely and pats Castle's shoulder, nudging him to join Kate as she hovers in the doorway. "After lunch, if you manage to keep some food down. And you need to rest for a few days, hon. Your body's been through a lot."

"I'll make sure of it," Castle promises, sinking to sit in his chair at her bedside and hanging one of the coffee cups over to her. The nurse leaves, and he reaches for Kate's hand and presses a kiss to her palm, folds her fingers closed over it. "Hey there. How are you feeling?"

"Like I could sleep for another three days," she grumps, sifting a hand through her hair again. She can feel the patina of slime moving over her skin and she closes her eyes, lets her head drop back against the pillow. "And gross. I want to shower. And brush my teeth."

Castle huffs a laugh at that, but he's got a peppering of stubble across his jaw and his shirt is all creased. "I know the feeling. I think Hannah's just waiting on approval from the doctor to get your IV out, and then you can take a long hot shower. Adjoined bathroom."

"Thank you. For the room," Kate says, reaching for him and squeezing his fingers. "And for staying."

"Of course," he says easily, a pleased little smile making his face scrunch up for a second. "You don't have to drink that, by the way. If your stomach still feels weird."

Kate takes a moment to evaluate it, her eyes closed, and she listens to the needful grumble of her insides. "I'll see how it goes. What's, uh. . .what's the situation in the outside world?"

"Snow's melting," he says morosely, drumming two fingers against the black plastic lid of his coffee cup. He catches her narrowed eyes and freezes, one hand extending in slow motion to set the cup down on the table. "The boys and Lanie stayed at the house last night, to be nearby in case you got worse. And to help the local PD coordinate. They're going to pack everything up for us and bring it back to the city."

"They are?" she mumbles, wishing she had the energy to lift an eyebrow at him. Kate sips at her coffee, careful not to overwhelm her system, and she feels the liquid heat slide all the way down into the pit of her stomach. "We're not doing that ourselves?"

Castle hesitates, his eyes scanning her face, and then he seems to decide that he needs to be touching her. He gets up from his chair and climbs into bed, crowding her so that she has to shift over and make room. She drapes herself over his chest, listening to the steady thump of his heart, and a smile blooms at her lips of its own accord.

"I didn't think you'd want to go back there and face everyone. Not now that the bump is ruined and our secret is out."

"They know I'm a cop now?" she says, but there's no stirring of regret inside her. The charade was never supposed to be forever, and although she'll miss sleeping in and the long luxurious hours of uninterrupted time with her partner, she aches to get back to her city.

Castle's arm drapes around her shoulders and his fingers skate up and down her arm, feather light. "They know. Everybody came out to watch Maggie when the local PD took her in. And I think Alice told everyone that we'd been undercover. Espo said it was chaos by the time he and Ryan got there."

"We got her, Castle," Kate grins, and her partner takes her coffee and sets it down next to his so that he can tangle their fingers together. "We did it."

"Well, you did it," he says, his lips at her temple in a soft kiss.

It's her job, but Kate knows that letting herself got poisoned was perhaps a little much. "I did. And now it's over. I can't wait to go home."

"Gates called me," Castle says quietly, and she buries her face against his chest. "The boys told her what happened. She says with all the overtime you've accrued being undercover, she doesn't want to see you back at the precinct until after the holidays."

"But the Christmas shift," Kate blurts, struggling upright in the bed so she can stare at her partner. She was hoping that being undercover would earn her some more vacation time, since she used it all up after her shooting, but this? "Christmas is a week today, Castle. What am I going to do with myself."

Her partner winces, peeking at her from one narrowed eye. "January second, she said she wants you back. That's fifteen days. And I was hoping. . .that you would spend at least some of them with me."

"Oh," she says slowly, reaching up to skim her thumb over the swell of his bottom lip. "Well. You told the nurse that you'd make sure I rest. So I guess I'm going home with you."

"Only if you want to," he says, kissing the pad of her thumb before he reaches for her hand and traps it against his chest instead. "I'm not looking to push you into cohabitation."

The door swings open before Kate can format a response, try to explain that she doesn't want to move in just yet without hurting his feelings. His expectations are so low; all he wants from her is for her to spend time with him, and it's not as if she doesn't want it too.

"Hello," Bill says, poking his head around the open door. Castle climbs out of bed as if it's his mother peering in and they're in grade school, falling all over himself to get away from her. He flops heavily into the chair beside her bed, gesturing for Bill to come inside the room. "How are you feeling, Detective?"

"Tired."

"Not to be rude," Castle cuts in, reaching for Kate's hand. There's only one chair in the room, so Bill has to hover awkwardly just inside the room, and Kate takes some sick satisfaction from watching him squirm. "But what are you doing here? I figured you'd be dealing with lawyers or something. You know, since your wife is fighting four murder charges and one count of attempted murder."

"Castle," Kate hisses, shooting a glare at her partner, but he doesn't take his eyes off of Bill. She's never seen him like this, his whole body thrumming with rage, and Kate squeezes his hand to try and calm him.

Bill lifts a hand in supplication, shifting his weight under Castle's scrutiny. "No, you're right. What Maggie has done is. . .inexcusable. I'm here to apologise, and to make sure that Kate is alright."

"Oh my god," Castle says, standing up from his chair and taking a few slow steps towards Bill. "You knew. You knew this whole time, didn't you. Are you in it with her?"

"No," Bill says fiercely, showing Castle both palms now. "I wasn't a part of it. I swear, I was horrified when I found out."

A noise of disbelief rumbles in Castle's throat and Kate shifts in the bed, hating that the two of them are all the way over by the door and she can't intervene. Her partner is stretched up to his full height, so broad that Kate's mouth goes a little dry.

"And you didn't try to stop her? Didn't turn her in?"

Bill shakes his head, his whole body beginning to dissolve, and Kate wonders if he will actually pool at Castle's feet. "I tried to stop her. But she- since David died, I've been unable to get through to her."

"You could have called the cops. You'll go to jail too. You've committed an offence."

"I know," Bill says, slipping his hands into his pockets. "I know that. But I couldn't have just handed her over to the police."

That makes Castle growl, his hands in fists. "Why not?"

"She's my wife," Bill says quietly, his eyes downcast. He seems to have aged twenty years in a day, and even with the horror of Maggie's crimes Kate can't imagine the grief of watching somebody you love go to jail.

"Yes," Castle growls, his shoulders square, and somehow with the scatter of regrowth across his jaw, his hair fluffy and hanging over his forehead, he still manages to be formidable. "And you left my wife alone with her. Kate could have died because of you."

Bill's forehead creases up in confusion and he glances between them, Kate's fingers flexing uselessly against the sheets. "I thought you two aren't actually married. I thought that was an undercover thing."

There's no pause, not even a beat, and Castle's fist swings up and collides with Bill's face. A crack rings out and Kate gasps, trapped in the bed with the IV still sharp at the crook of her arm. Bill goes to the ground, catching himself on one hand as the other flies up to press against his nose.

"The marriage was fake," Castle says darkly, looming over Bill. "But how much I love her wasn't. Get out of here, right now."

Bill scrambles to his feet and leaves without a backwards glance, and Kate stares mutely at the rise and fall of Castle's shoulders. His breath comes through his nose, ragged and broken, and his knuckles are already red and raw.

"Castle," she murmurs, and his jaw ticks. "Can you come here. Please."

He finally turns to face her, making his way back to her bedside and falling heavily into the chair. It makes her grit her teeth and she holds out a hand, wishing she weren't tethered to the damn IV. "Kate, I'm-"

"Get in with me," she says, patting the mattress, and Castle climbs back into the bed. Reaching for his hand, Kate lifts it to her mouth and kisses his knuckles. "You need to stop punching people for me, Rick. You're gonna really hurt yourself."

"Worth it," he grumbles, letting her stretch his fingers and curl them in close against his palm again to make sure nothing is really broken. It must hurt; his nostrils flare, but he doesn't cry out. "I can't believe he knew his wife was a killer and he did nothing."

Kate lays her head against her partner's shoulder and closes her eyes, wrapping both arms around his bicep so that it presses against her chest. Deep pressure, and it makes her breathing come a little easier. "If it was me, would you have called the cops? Would you have sent me to jail?"

"No, but-"

"It's the same," she says firmly. "I don't blame Bill for not turning Maggie in. If you killed someone, I wouldn't call the cops. I'd help you hide the body."

That makes him huff a laugh and he rolls his eyes, twisting his head to see her. "You are a cop. I find that very hard to believe."

"I mean it," Kate knocks her head against his shoulder. "Yes, I believe in justice, and I have a duty to uphold the law, but you're my partner. We're in it together. I already told you that I'd break you out of jail."

"I love you, too," he grins, turning towards her. At the last second he pauses, tugging his head away, and a frown draws his eyebrows together. "I'm gonna go find a nurse. See about getting your IV out."

That makes her lift an eyebrow at him, settling back against the pillows as he climbs out of the hospital bed. "Right now? Why?"

"So you can brush your teeth. And shower."

"Why is it suddenly so urgent?"

"Because I really, really need to kiss you," he says, scraping a hand through the fluff of his hair. It's sticking up in all directions, spiking at the back of his head even while the front flops down over his forehead. "And I know you don't want to make out until you're feeling more human. So. IV out."

He disappears for barely a minute, returning with one of the nurses right behind him. The IV comes out of her arm without any fuss and the moment the nurse leaves again Kate climbs out of bed. Sliding her arms around Castle's shoulders, she presses her body in close to his and closes her eyes, her nose against the shell of his ear.

"You're okay," he says, a hand drifting up and down the length of her spine. Her body sags against his, starved as it is, and she fists both hands in his t-shirt to keep herself upright. "I've got you."

"I'm hungry," she admits, pulling out of their embrace to look at him. "While I'm showering would you see about me being allowed to eat something?"

He smiles at that, drawing her in with a hand at the curve of her skull so he can kiss her forehead. "Sure. There's a travel bag in the bathroom with your toiletries. I think I got everything you'll need. Take your time, Kate."

"I will," she says, lifting up on tiptoe in her bare feet to kiss his cheek. A thought hits her and she drops back to her normal height, frowning at him. "What about clothes?"

"I got those too. Got a cab to the house and picked up my car and our stuff. I'll go get the suitcase while you're showering. If you think you'll find something to fit you?"

Kate pinches the bridge of her nose and growls. It seems to be one thing on top of another now, and she just wants to shower and get dressed in her own clothes and go home. "I don't know."

"I can run out and buy you something if nothing works," he says, his voice firm, and she doesn't bother to argue with him. Instead she offers up a small smile, before she turns away and heads for the bathroom.