RPOV

My head was on Dimitri's chest, his arms tightly wrapped around my waist, a sense of calm hung in the air. I scooted closer to Dimitri, wincing at how sore I was down there.

"Did I hurt you?" Dimitri murmured, kissing the top of my head.

"No," I sighed. "I'll be sore. I was a virgin, remember? It hurt when you first went in." Dimitri gave a little grunt. After a moment, I lifted my head from Dimitri's chest. "We had sex."

Dimitri looked at me with hooded eyes. "I know," he said simply, cupping my cheek gently. He leaned up and kissed me.

I smiled, then frowned. "We didn't use a condom."

"I know," Dimitri chuckled. He studied me. "I thought you—"

"You mean—" We spoke at the same time. I shut my mouth and motioned for Dimitri to continue.

"I thought you wanted to get pregnant," he said.

I looked down, studying his perfectly sculpted chest. I ran a finger up his chest. I looked at the fine chestnut brown hairs that dusted his chest and stomach.

"I do," I said. "But I want to cause of—"

Dimitri put a hand up. I stopped talking.

"I know," he said again, frowning. "If you think it's okay, then so do I." Concern swept across his face. "But that won't stop me from worrying. And it doesn't stop the fact that what we're doing is illegal."

I looked at him, wide-eyed. "Do you regret this?" I asked shakily. I felt so strongly for Dimitri, and now that we've slept together, my feelings for him shot through the roof. I was head-over-heels in love with him.

Dimitri propped himself into a sitting position, me straddling his lap.

"No," he said. "I don't regret this. The one thing I will regret is if someone finds out and we get punished." He shook his head. "I can't just stand by and see you get punished. I'm worried about that. It'll be even worse when you become pregnant."

I rested my head on his shoulder. "I understand." We didn't say anything. I was emotionally exhausted. Everything we were doing—the secret romance, sleeping with my mentor, trying to get pregnant—it was to save everyone. And I really began wondering, when will Dimitri and I get to do something for ourselves? Really do something for ourselves? A prophecy that's been kicking since me and Dimitri's past lives, and the only way to fulfill it is for me to get pregnant by Dimitri. I wouldn't mind having Dimitri's baby if it was under different circumstances. Like, when we were ready. Even if I didn't know that I could get pregnant by other dhampirs, I wouldn't have minded adopting with Dimitri.

I felt the backs of my eyes sting. Tears filled my eyes, and I started crying uncontrollably. I buried my face in Dimitri's chest, bawling my eyes out. Dimitri, completely stunned, held me close to him. I cried so hard that my throat hurt. When I finished, I leaned back, sniffling. Dimitri looked at me with concern written on his face. My eyes stung and I refused to meet Dimitri's eyes.

"My Roza," he said softly. He tried looking at me, but I stood up and grabbed my clothes. "What are you doing?" He stood up and looked at me. I quickly dressed.

"I'm sorry," I said sadly. I shook my head. "I need to go."

"Why?" Dimitri grabbed my wrist, gently. "Did I do something? Roza—?"

"I'm sorry," I repeated. Everything was so overwhelming. I felt so guilty, so depressed. Had Lissa been using her magic? I don't know. I hadn't been paying attention for the past hour. I took my wrist out of Dimitri's hand and went to his door. He pleaded with me to stay; I looked back at him, the look of confusion, concern, and depseration mixed on his face. I felt more tears come up. With one last apology, and an attempt to keep the tears at bay, I left.

It's been a few days since Dimitri and I did it. And the feelings of guilt and depression never left. Lissa admitted to using some of her magic that day.

"I was just practicing," she said. I told her okay and to be careful and that was the end of it. I assumed her magic was making me the way I was, but I didn't ponder on it long.

I skipped out on the morning and afternoon practices Dimitri and I usually had. I was too down to see him. I'd cry myself to sleep every night; in class, Dimitri would be one of the few guardians watching over the students. His eyes would be on me the entire time. After a week, a shadow of stubble made itself known on Dimitri's face. Dark circles formed under his bloodshot eyes. A few of his colleagues would get concerned. They'd ask if he was okay, he would simply say "yes."

I didn't regret what Dimitri and I did, I just felt guilty that I was making him do something he didn't want to. After two weeks, I began cutting myself. I was falling deeper and deeper into my dark emotions. I stopped eating. It was obvious, too—I was getting skinny, or, skinnier than usual. Not a healthy skinny.

I shuffled into the cafeteria. It got quiet. I could feel everyone's eyes on me. I sat down at the usual table. Everyone gasped.

"Rose, you look—" Christian, Lissa's boyfriend, looked at me horrified. I looked at myself. My bones were starting to poke our of my skin. I ate very little. Lissa got me to start eating again, but I wouldn't eat a lot.

"Oh God," Lissa said, her eyes watering.

"Rose—" Mason gasped. I stood up. I was finished.

"Where are you going?" Lissa asked shakily.

"My room," I said flatly. "I'm done here." I ignored their protests and left. Halfway to my room, I bumped into something hard. I looked up and saw Dimitri. His hair was messy and a little longer, hanging inches below his shoulders. He looked like a mess.

"R-Roza," he said, smiling. He frowned. When he spoke, his voice was laced with concern. "My God, Roza, you look—"

"Stop it," I said flatly.

Keeping his mouth shut for a moment, he eventually blurted. "Why are you avoiding me?" His eyes were pleading with me. "Did I do something wrong? Do you regret what we did?" The last part was a trembling whisper. He grabbed my bony shoulders. "I don't regret it, Roza. I don't. I love you and I'd do anything for you!" Tears filled his eyes. "Don't you love me?" he whispered.

"Yes," I said flatly, almost robotically. "I love you." I tried wiggling myself out of his grip, it only tightened.

"Why won't you talk to me?" he asked, a few tears falling. "I keep thinking I did something wrong! I can't sleep— Was it something I said?"

"I'm talking now," I muttered.

"You know what I mean," he hissed. "I'm worried about you. Look at you! You're just skin and bones. What happened?"

"This happened," I snapped. "All of this bullshit piled up and I got overwhelmed! Is that wrong?"

Dimitri looked at me. Wiping the tears from his eyes, he sighed.

"No," he said. "I understand. You could've told me." He brushed his lips against mine.

"I'm sorry," I said lamely.

"Don't be," Dimitri murmured. "Promise me you'll tell me when you're feeling like this."

I nodded. Hugging me delicately, he led me back to the cafeteria.

QUICKY A/N: I DON'T FEEL LIKE THIS WAS MY BEST CH. IN THE STORY. :/

WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?

:) :)

YOURS TRULY,

~SMITHY