So um… Hello! I realize I fell of the face of the Earth for a while there, I'm sorry. Every time I sat down and tried to continue this story, I just couldn't think of anything. Something else popped into my mind, and I started working on that, but it will end up being a long story as well. I feel so guilty every time I work on that, so I've decided to write at least one chapter of this for every two I write of my other story. (If anyone is curious, I'm going to try and get it completely done before I start posting it, just so this whole situation doesn't repeat itself. It's a Sherlock story, and I'll post the title in another author's note—once I think of a title—in case any of you would perchance want to read it.) Maybe if I start up this again it will get easier to continue. Thank you so much for sticking with me despite my disappearance, it really does mean a lot.
Kagome backed quickly away from Sesshomaru. His posture was perfect and confident, very different from Maru's laidback, carefree way of holding himself. They stood together in silence, until Jaken arrived on Ah-Un's back.
"Sesshomaru-sama! The camp is ready and awaits your arrival!"
Kagome thanked him, and gave Rin to Ah-Un, telling Jaken to take her back with them and put her in the sleeping bag. The three flew off and Kagome looked back to Sesshomaru, to see if he would continue walking.
Sesshomaru seemed to be pouting the tiniest bit. "This Sesshomaru would not have dropped Rin."
Kagome blinked worriedly. "You heard that?"
"This Sesshomaru heard everything." His golden eyes, which had been staring off into the distance, now flicked to her face and locked onto her own chocolate orbs. "My consciousness may not have been visible, but it was present." She immediately replayed her afternoon with Maru, looking for any moments where she may have said or done something embarrassing. There were quite a few. She blushed lightly, which drew Sesshomaru's attention. "I do not understand."
"Understand what?" She asked, a piece of her mind cheering, Someone get a recorder! Sesshomaru just admitted there's something he doesn't understand! But another part of her realized that this was not exactly the time for jokes.
"Why you blush, miko. You were not troubled to act like a child in front of… Maru, as he has requested to be called. Why now?"
"Well, you're… you." She fidgeted under his inquisitive stare, hoping he would let her answer lie. But when he remained silent, she continued grudgingly. "The great and mighty Sesshomaru-sama! You rule your lands with an iron fist, strike fear into the hearts of all you meet and have an intense hatred for almost all things human! If I make one wrong move, disrespect you or make you unhappy in any way, I could be killed instantly—not that I'd put up much of a fight—and you would continue on your way."
"Maru is this Sesshomaru, as well."
"No, no. Maru is you… before you were you. He's the piece of yourself you locked away so you wouldn't have to deal with any sort of weakness, emotional or otherwise. But, don't you see Sesshomaru-sama? Running away from any potential weaknesses the way you did is a weakness in itself! You're a coward."
Immediately she regretted her choice of words, she hadn't meant to say all that, but once she started she found she couldn't stop. The anger radiated off him in waves, she had found a chink in his armor. His poison whip grew out of his claws and he swung out his arm masterfully. A stinging slash appeared on her arm, he was using great measures of control to keep his whip well below full potency.
"Retract your statement, miko." He said evenly. Another slash appeared on her leg, she hadn't even seen him move.
Keeping eye contact, she breathed in deeply before replying firmly. "No." Another slash, this one on her cheek, just below her eye.
"Retract it. Now." Another slash, arm.
"No." Another slash.
"Yes." Another slash.
"No." Another slash.
"You do not put up a fight." Another.
"I told you I would not." Another.
"Why is that, miko." Another.
"Because I'm tired of trying to live."
-Sesshomaru POV-
What? The miko… does not wish to live? Sesshomaru tried to reason out how she could make such a statement with honesty. Maru roared from within him. Stop! She merely told us the truth! Even we, who strive for total honesty at all times, must understand this! Irrelevant. The miko spoke against this Sesshomaru, she must be punished. She told us what we needed to hear! Even you cannot fault her for that! Be quiet. I will NOT be quiet! Maru's rage churned like the seas in a storm, rising oppressively to overtake Sesshomaru's consciousness. We will not hurt her anymore! Sesshomaru spitefully wielded his whip again. Another wound appeared along the woman's neck. And, like with the others, she held her ground and did not look away from his face. Sesshomaru pushed Maru back down and returned his attention to the human. Her wounds had begun to fester and eat away at the surrounding skin.
"Why do you say this, miko?"
Chocolate eyes hardened with the renewal of memories. "I told you my story Sesshomaru, you should understand." This was true, she had not left anything out with the telling of her story, including the love she claimed she felt for his half-brother Inuyasha.
"You would kill yourself for the mutt?"
"I will not actively take my life, but neither will I actively save it."
"Explain." Sesshomaru truly did not understand this feeling of love, detrimental enough to lead many to their deaths.
"When your brother left, he took a chunk of me away with him."
"That is incorrect, miko. This Sesshomaru can clearly see that you are whole."
"A chunk of my heart, Sesshomaru-sama. A thing you believe to be useless and locked away with Maru. Today I realized just how empty he made me. Laughing with everyone, playing, talking, I realized how much I have been lying to myself. I thought I was strong, that maybe I could even be friends with you, or at least Maru, but I can't. Every time I look at you, I see him. You may claim to be completely different, but the two of you are more alike than you realize." A small smile came upon her face. "He used to stay awake until everyone was asleep, just like you do. He would sniff out places for me to bathe, and protect me from Kouga. And sometimes, when he thought I wasn't watching, he would get this sad look on his face. I won't pretend to know why he ever looked that way, but I've seen it on your face too." Sesshomaru's face had gone blank with shock, the girl was much more observant than he gave her credit for. "I'm tired of living with these memories, knowing that he loves me back, but can't get rid of his thoughts of… her." She laughed at herself with disgust. "He's out there, right now, looking for a way to bring her back, and I keep checking behind me. Waiting for him to come running up the road and tell me he's sorry, that he didn't mean to hurt me, that he loves only me. I'm tired of waiting Sesshomaru!"
The dog demon blinked at her, and she understood instantly what he meant. "I don't want your pity, Sesshomaru." For the first time in a long time, he didn't know what to do. So he went with what he knew.
"That's twice you have used this Sesshomaru's improperly, miko." He raised the potency of his whip to a nearly lethal level and added two more wounds to her body. By now the poison had greatly eaten away at her skin, and she fell to the ground, shaking. He kept his eyes trained on her, finding it harder to justify his actions now that he could not see her defiant eyes. "Now heal yourself, miko. We must continue."
Kagome gently rolled over onto her back and laid in the middle of the path as one would lay in a coffin. "No. I told you, I will not actively… heal… myself." Sesshomaru could see her consciousness fading, and Maru's rage and concern overpowered him completely.
"NO!" The now-freed Maru yelled, and he knelt down beside her. "Please, Kagome."
"No, Maru. I'm sorry." She closed her eyes, and her breathing became shallow.
I will not let this happen. Lifting her face to his, he found one of the last two wounds Sesshomaru had made on her forehead, the other on her arm. He paid attention to those two first, gently licking them clean and purifying any trace of poison. The he cleaned the rest of them, hoping he had not broken free too late for her to be saved. Once her wounds were taken care of he scooped her up in his arms and began to carry her to the camp. Look what we have done to the woman we love, Sesshomaru. Maru looked around his mind, but couldn't locate Sesshomaru's consciousness. Looking deeper, a resonance came from inside his old cell. In his rage, he must have shoved Sesshomaru in and locked him there. I will deal with this later. Right now, all that mattered was Kagome's safety. And she was not safe around Sesshomaru.
So…. I actually got through up until Maru picks her up, before realizing that I had never gotten Rin out of there, so I had to go add in the part where Jaken and Ah-Un showed up. So if that part seems really weird and out of place, that's why. Please read and review, and thanks again for not giving up on me completely!