chapter 14 breakout
"hahaha i win loosers!" wolfe mocked. "i have something special planned 4 u fags to celebrate my win here!"
a helicopter with a giant tank of water attached to it descended towards the tournament and soaked the ground with fucktons of water. wolfes chauffeur drove wolfes limo towards the douchebag champion so he could get in and then they drive through the puddle and drench everyone in the tournament.
"later cucks!" he jeered spitting a loogie in the face of some kid through his window as he sped off.
"wow what a douche" said lillie.
"yeah lol" red agreed. "anyway we need 2 get 2 rr's base. since the world is linear like all pokemon games besides gen 1 we should just keep walking in a straight line. i guess we will end up in ur home alola next."
"alolas not my home" lillie insisted. "when im older im going 2 move 2 kanto permanently. then im going 2 become president of kanto so i can nuke alola and all the fake regions."
"thats not right" sayed red. "the fake regions r shit but we can fix them. we just need to deport all the fake pokemon and all the hackers and smogdrones to some random island. then nuke that island."
"what if we deport them to unova insted of a island?" lillie sugested.
"ok fine fuck unova lol" red agreed. "anyway lets keep going. im sure we will c moar members of rr soon.
meanwile at rr castle...
"excellent verlis and brendan r finished!" jewnichi reported gleefuly while he put a kosher puppy pie in the oven. "now we just need to stop red and lillie. wolfe is to busy partying right now so it is your turn smogon and giovanni."
"just one thing jewnichi" smogon sayed. "when verlis and brendan fited wolfe they were tricked into signing a contract which sends them 2 the dirt mine if they lose. if we beat lillie and red nothing permanent will happen 2 them. they will just black out and have to give us half there money." at the menshin of money jewnichi started jerking off. "give me back my full power so i can use the final battel clause to make the loser of our battle get banned from existense like last time i fited red."
hearing about giving killed jewnichis boner. "no goy i alredy told u there r only 2 things in this world that i will never do! one of them things is spend longer than 2 months developing a pokemon game! and the other is give anything to anyone! u schlups need to figure out how to do this on your own!"
"lets just get guns and shoot them" giovanni suggested.
"lol good idea lets do that" sayed smogon.
red and lillie then arrived at alola. smogon and giovani standed in there way with machine guns.
"time to sleep with the corphishes red!" giovanni laughed as he opened fire.
"eww why would i want to sleep with a fake mon?" red replied as he opened his jacket and pushed lillie behind him.
he got hit with hundreds of bullets but they all just bounced off his chest and didnt do any damage.
"wtf lol?!" sayed giovanni.
"i spent like 10 years living out in the wilderness on top of a freezing mountain" red telled him. "that made me way too buff to get hurt by bullets lol. now go charizard! burn these 2 fags with flamethrower!"
"oh fuck not again" sayed smogon as he and giovanni got burned to fuck. red and lillie just stepped over the burned villains as they continued on there way.
as this was happening another story was unfolding. deep in the depths of jewtendo's dirt mine a exhausted brendan was trying to figure out what 2 do. he had been mining for days and his white hair was now almost completely brown from the dirt. verlis, ray and all the other ppl who lost in the vgc tournament were there as slaves.
"red and even lillie isnt hear now" brendan relised. "im the closest thing to a main character that is left. if i dont take charge of the situation now no one will."
"r-ray cant go on..." ray rizzo groaned weakly as he lay curled up in the fetal position. it had been 3 days since he cheated at anything and his body was succumbing to withrawl.
verlis was sitting in the corner on his own not talking to anyone. he was so disappointed in himself 4 losing to wolfe that he also couldnt go on either. he felt like as big of an asshole as the vgc cheaters and smogon 4 disrespecting the original 151 and thinking his innovation was betta than them.
"holy shit this is so depressing" brendan sayed. "u fags need to stop moping around and help us break out."
"why so i can let everyone down again?" verlis sayed. "i dont deserve to b the most subbed poketuber in the world. my innovation is all lies."
"r-ray's body feel not right" ray groaned. "ray cant move."
"ok first of all verlis the only reason i even beat ray and stopped being a scrub is because of ur vids. and ray. u cant move because u havent cheated for 3 days. but what is a prison break? its cheating isnt it? ur not doing the sentence u agreed 2. ur breaking the rules."
"d-did u say... CHEAT?!" ray said with new life in his eyes. "FUCK YEEEESSSSS! RAY IS BACK! WHERE DO WE START?!"
"r u srs?" verlis asked. "u went from trying to copy gym leader ingame teams to topping a regional just from watching my vids?"
"well kinda" brendan sayed. "to tell the truth the thing that has been holding me back so long is a fear of not been good enough. i used to b the champion of hoenn and i thought i was great. then red destroyed me in a battel and telled me everything i knowed was wrong. having everything u thought you had taken away from u like that. it breaks a man. ever since then i tried every shortcut i could 2 get back to being as good as i thought i was. but nothing i tried worked. i watched ur video to try and git gud but then it hit me. the reson u r so good is bcos u dont just copy other ppls shit or take shortcuts other ppl give u. u make ur own sets with the shit u alredy know. so thats what i did. i taked everything i learned from all my losses and made a team that could win."
"why did u tell red it was from my video then?"
"idk i thought saying all this shit then would ruin the pace of the story by been top serious lol. anyway lets break out of this fucking mine."
"HOW ARE WE BREAKING OUT?!" ray asked.
"the way i see it the only thing keeping us in hear is the warden" brendan explained. "unfortunatly he taked away all our pokemon so we cant just beat him. but if someone distracts the warden someone else can steal our mons back."
"how r we goin 2 distract him?" verlis asked.
"dont worry i know this guy" brendan sayed. "hes from our world. and hes not very bright lol."
suddenly all the other prisoners went quiet and started mining much faster than they were before. "oh no its the warden" one of them sayed. brendan and the others started mining again to.
"we are WAY behind schedule" whined a lispy gay voice. it was joe merrick AKA serebii! "lord jewnichi wont give me my good boy points for this week if u slackers fall behind on production so you better start mining faster or else!"
"OR ELSE WHAT CUCK?!" ray shouted as he ranned up and punched serebii in the face. unfortunately serebii was wearing state of the art nintendo labo armour and since ray was suffering steroid withdrawl his punch was not strong enough to pierce the armour.
"or else ill do this!" serebii yelled shrilly. "go machamp!"
"haha u just sent out ur wifes boyfriend!" brendan mocked.
"fuck u that was only 1 time!" serebii sayed. "and she told me the machamps cock was only 5 inches bigger than mine anyway."
"HOW BIG WAS THE MACHAMPS COCK, 5 INCHES?!" ray asked.
"quick go and get out pokeballs whle me and ray distract him" brendan whispered to verlis.
"no it was 6 inches!" serebii pouted as he took out a bottle of soylent. "machamp go and beat up these meanies!"
"get behind me civilians!" brendan telled the others. "i am a trained mall cop i can handle this!"
brendan fited against the machamp for a bit blocking its punches with the martial arts he had studyed on his elite mall cop training course. unfortunatly days of being in the mine and only being able to eat whatever soy-based food they stole from serebii's fridge had weakened his body. he couldnt keep up with the machamps strength for long and was knocked down to the ground.
"how did that feel 'officer'?" serebii mocked with a giant soy grin on his face.
"probably the same way u felt after tyrone beat your ass and fucked your girl" brendan retorted.
"fuck u!" serebii growled getting so angry he attempted to crush the bottle of soylent in his hand. he only ended up brusing his hand though.
"brendan i got our mons back!" verlis called out as he throwed a pokeball to brendan.
"nice!" brendan grinned. "now we can beat this cuck for good! go farfetch'd!"
"like im going to lose 2 u!" serebii groaned. "machamp use stone edge!"
"lol what a predictable move" brendan sayed. "if u used rock slide u might have winned. but obviously u dont have the skill to make it flinch so u didnt try! farfetch'd use acrobatics!"
farfetchd used a focus sash to survive the stone edge and then ohko'd machamp with acrobatics. with his machamp ko'd serebii had nothing left to protect him. verlis and ray sent out their mons too and surrounded him.
"oh no daddy jewnichi save me!" serebii cried as the mons tore up his labo armour and then beat his ass. brendan and the others hurried to the exit.