Beyond Grim And Evil Installment 1: So It Begins
(A/N: After some debate, I determined I would not put up Lord Pain's oneshot for this chapter. Instead I will post more than one oneshot along with this, dealing with the characters in the coming chapters. You see, tere may be three of four chapters posted today, starting with this one. I'm far enough ahead in this story anyway, and I want the ball to get rolling faster than what it is. Secrets, darker chapters, whatnot. Anyway, enjoy. First up today, last week I posted another, for those of you who might have missed it. Two more were posted the week before.)
Discordant Destruction (Afternoon)
Visit Toadblatt's and prove no one breaks stuff faster than you.
Grim ran towards Billy's bedroom. Oh boy, Eris was back. He'd hoped he'd have more time to figure out an alternate before Eris 'killed' him for refusing to take Miss Butterbean to you know where. Desperately he tried to weave a plan into play. Really, it probably wouldn't be too hard, considering who he was. He burst into the room, saying, "Eris, what a surprise! I take it your rule bending didn't pan out?"
"I'll say it didn't! I tried to bend the rules Grim, it didn't work. Our deal was you'd have an alternate to take out my frustrations on. Where is it!" she demanded, threatening him with the apple.
He swallowed then nervously chuckled, asking, "It was dis mornin' girl. Are ya sure you ain't over it yet?"
"Reaper!" she shouted.
No way was he getting out of this one. Quickly he tossed out a spur of the moment plan. "Off the top of me head, why don't ya try breakin' t'ings?"
Eris calmed instantly down, surprised. Well, she'd never heard of that before. "Go on," she prompted.
"Look Eris, I know a guy who has a real nice setup for destruction. Dean Toadblatt. Hoss has had a bad day, and he needs somethin' ta take his anger out on. Go wit' him to Toadblatt's. Tell de dean that Grim sent ya ta beat up some dummies of Nigel Planter. He'll let ya in no argument. He's a huge fan of me work. Maybe you and Hoss can even reconcile."
"Since when do you want that? You helped him to break up with me," she said.
"If it gets everyone out of me hair, I want it," Grim stated.
She sighed deeply then relented, saying, "All right, you win Grim."
Skarr heard someone coming down the steps before he could pursue the question he'd asked. Looking up curiously, he asked, "Who screamed up there anyway?"
"Uh, no one!" Hoss nervously said. "Grim went up to check," he stated, grinning innocently. "He's probably coming down now."
Skarr muttered something under his breath, then said, "Listen, don't mean to be rude, but I've got to stay out of sight. The reaper and I had a bit of a falling out this morning. Mind if I hide behind the couch?"
"Go ahead," Hoss stated. Skarr instantly dove out of sight.
Grim entered first, saying, "Uh, Hoss, ya said ya needed some help."
"You bet your bony hide. General Skarr suggested breaking things," Hoss remarked.
"Skarr? When was he here?" Grim asked.
"He just came to borrow a cup of sugar," Hoss replied, shrugging.
"Oh. Well what a coincidence, I was just about to suggest that meself," Grim stated. "And guess what, I've even got a breaking buddy for you. Come on out baby!"
Eris walked inside looking bored. "Eris!" Hoss exclaimed, leaping up in terror.
"Oh calm down Hoss, I'm here strictly for therapy," Eris declared. "Grim says dean Toadblatt will let us in to destroy some dummies of a kid named Nigel Planter if we mention him."
"Really?" Hoss hopefully asked.
"You bet. I'll even bring ya there meself," Grim stated, ripping a hole in the room with his scythe. "Your therapy awaits," Grim declared, gallantly bowing.
"Oh boy!" Hoss exclaimed, darting passed Eris and into the portal.
"Ugh, what did I ever see in him?" Eris wondered.
"A juicy piece of meat," Grim coldly answered.
"I did at that," Eris said with a soft smirk. She heard Grim muttering under his breath and looked at him, then grinned a Cheshire grin. "Oh come now Grimmy, don't be so jealous just because you're a bony little twerp," Eris teased, stroking his chin as she strode passed.
"I ain't dat bony, and I ain't a twerp! I'm taller den you!" Grim defeneded. Eris laughed, disappearing into the portal. Grim grumbled under his breath, then left the room. Skarr blinked blankly. Well, this was interesting.
Skarr slunk out from behind the couch and hurried to the window. Lord Pain opened it for him. Skarr landed next to Pain, saying, "All right, have you heard of Toadblatt's Academy?"
"Who hasn't?" Pain questioned.
Skarr blinked then frowned. "I haven't," he replied.
"Bah, mortals," Pain mumbled.
"Anyway, Hoss Delgado and Eris are going there to smash things, and are they ever in a bad mood. They need that therapy desperately for whatever reason," Skarr said.
"Eris!" Pain exclaimed.
"You know her?" Skarr asked.
"High school," Pain replied.
"Oh," Skarr said, surprised. "Well it'll be like a reunion then. Why don't you tell Billy that they said they could break more stuff than you and him combined?" Skarr suggested.
"Tell him it was a challenge and get him angry, hmm? Then, when we go there and he tries to ruin their therapy…" Pain picked up.
Skarr continued, "They'll flip out on you both and run Billy into the ground! You can't die, so you have nothing to worry about, right?"
"Not at all. Suppose they lose, though?" Pain asked.
"Unlikely. Even if they don't win, we're not through with them yet. I'll meet you later," Skarr assured.
"As you wish, master," Pain said, bowing. With that, he vanished into the ground to transport to Billy.
Skarr grinned. "I love the sound of that," he said to nothing. Master really did suit him.
Lord Pain appeared in front of the children's school. "So this is where the children go," Pain mused. He entered the school and walked through the halls looking around. He could sense Billy's presence getting closer. Soon enough he stopped outside of the classroom. He looked inside. Sure enough there sat Billy. He smirked evilly, then tapped on the window. The teacher looked over at him curiously.
Miss Butterbean raised an eyebrow. Who was this? What did he want? She rose and went to the door opening it. "Can I help you?" she questioned monotonously.
"As a matter of fact, you can. I am, err, Billy's father, and I have come to collect him. He has, um, a meeting of, uh, something," Pain said, grinning innocently.
Miss Butterbean raised an eyebrow. She wasn't an idiot. She'd seen Billy's father before, and this thing looked nothing like him. Nonetheless, Billy was getting annoying. She was passed caring about her ethics. She shrugged, answering, "Whatever. Billy, your father's here to talk to you." Billy looked curiously up, then walked towards the door.
"Hey Mandy, what would Billy's dad be doing here?" Irwin questioned, leaning over to his crush curiously.
"Somehow I doubt it's Billy's dad. Mogar would have burst in screaming. Whoever it is, is too quiet. Something's up. Let's check it out," Mandy replied. She and Irwin crept from their desks and made their way to the shut door as Miss. Butterbean was lecturing.
Out in the hall Pain stepped back, waiting. Billy walked out as his teacher returned to the board to lecture, shutting the door behind him. Billy gasped on seeing the figure, and his eyes lit instantly up. "Billy!" Lord Pain exclaimed.
"Lord Pain!" Billy cried excitedly. He leapt onto the warrior hugging him. "Have you come to visit? Didja bring me anything, didja, didja? Are we gonna smash some more stuff!"
Lord Pain put the boy down, saying, "Now that you ask, we most certainly are. Billy, something terrible has happened."
Smile falling, Billy asked, "What's wrong?"
Pain replied, "Eris and Hoss came to the Plain Of Eternal Suffering and claimed that they could break stuff faster than you and I. They said if we want to prove them wrong, we must go to Toadblatt's academy and beat them at smashing things."
"What!" Billy furiously demanded. "No one smashes stuff faster than us!" Billy exclaimed. He never even stopped to wonder on how Lord Pain even knew Hoss Delgado in the first place.
"So you agree to come along then, to defend our honor?" Pain asked.
"Let's go kick some butt," Billy declared, eyes narrowing.
Pain opened a portal right there. Just then, though, a voice demanded, "Billy, where are you going?"
Lord Pain and Billy whirled. Irwin and Mandy had just walked out of the classroom! Irwin was gaping in awe and fear at them. Mandy was frowning suspiciously, angrily. "Mandy, Lord Pain and I have a score to settle," Billy determinedly said.
"Oh no you don't, you're staying here. We're playing hide and seek after school anyway," Mandy stated, not sure whether she trusted her servant or not. Why shouldn't she though? He would have to be either incredibly stupid, or incredibly confident in himself, to turn on her. Something seemed off, however, and she couldn't shake the growing doubt. Rarely had Pain ever come to the surface of his own accord.
"Farewell, my love, I'll always be with you. I shall come back to marry you soon!" Billy dramatically said, completely ignoring her and taking her hand. He bent down and kissed it, then dove, laughing, into the portal.
Mandy blinked blankly after him, frozen from the shock. Lord Pain swiftly followed, calling, "Goodbye old little mistress!" The portal shut once more, and Mandy twitched, still unable to move.
"Uh, awkward yo," Irwin finally remarked, unsure what to think of Billy's advance.
Lord Pain and Billy appeared in Toadblatt's office only to see Eris and Hoss smashing dummies furiously and laughing together. Billy snorted angrily, then beat his chest making ape sounds. Instantly he sprang into view. Eris and Hoss whirled, startled, and blinked blankly at Billy and Lord Pain. After a moment, Eris said to Billy, "Oh not you again." Looking to Lord Pain, however, her eyes lit up and she smirked. "Lord Pain? Darling, it's been ages! You really haven't changed much since high school. Ooh, but you've certainly filled out, haven't you? And that complexion; why it's almost as if you never had a problem."
"Eris, lovely, preppy, shallow, cold, and disdainful as always," Pain retorted.
Eris smirked, then bowed her head, saying, "Guilty as charged."
"You know him?" Hoss demanded, frowning suspiciously at the warrior.
"Of course I do baby cakes," Eris replied.
"You're goin' down lady! You too Hoss!" Billy shouted before Hoss could reply, or Pain could express the shock and appall that was on his face on hearing Eris' pet name for this mere mortal. What was the goddess thinking? Eris would never settle for someone so low. "No one breaks stuff faster than us!" Billy continued.
"What?" Eris asked, now lost.
"We would never claim that! We aren't complete idiots!" Hoss shot back.
"Well, I'm not," Eris added.
"Oh yes you did! Lord Pain said so!" Billy shouted.
"Did he now?" Eris asked, tone dripping icily, fixing Pain with a cold glare. He grinned innocently.
"If it's a contest you want, little boy, it's a contest you'll get," Hoss angrily said, fixing his arm up.
Instantly the two groups raced for the dummies. Billy smashed anything and anyone that moved. He was seeing red. Pain kept up easily before suddenly remembering that they weren't supposed to win. He slowed down dramatically. Eris caught the action and became suspicious. Hoss was too busy trying to keep up with Billy to notice. Fine, if Pain wanted to lose, she wouldn't argue, but she wondered very much why he was doing this. Best to find out, she supposed.
Catching up to him, she questioned, "What's your game Charles?"
He looked mildly surprised, but thinking on it, it really wasn't much of a shock that she'd figured out something didn't ring true about him. "Destroy," Pain simply answered, surprise disappearing.
"Come on now darling, you can tell me," Eris coaxed, practically purring and dripping seduction.
He blinked at her and twitched. Just as he was about to tell, he caught himself. "Wily temptress, not this time!" he exclaimed, hurrying ahead of her.
She frowned. Ugh, Aphrodite would have had better luck. Too bad she wasn't around. Eris went back to breaking things. Destruction was probably ultimately the goal. At least he'd answered that part. Destruction of what or who, though? She looked over at Billy, then smirked. That must be what he wanted. Why, she didn't know, but someone hated Billy enough to set Lord Pain, her, and Hoss on him. Eris may have barely tolerated the boy, but she wasn't going to play into Pain's plan that easily. He should have told her when she'd asked. Purposely she slowed down.
Soon enough Hoss was panting, barely able to knock things down anymore. Finally he collapsed, snoring. Lord Pain scowled at him, then Eris. He knew full well she'd caught onto the game. Why did no one ever learn not to jerk her around? Fine, so be it. He liked to win anyway. Glaring at them both, he said, "Bah, the Plain of Eternal Suffering awaits you."
Eris just glared, saying, "You should have told me cupcake." Lord Pain frowned.
"All right, we won!" Billy exclaimed, high fiving Lord Pain.
"Excellent. Now let's go home before your parent's and friend's miss you," Pain coaxed, slightly disappointed the plan hadn't worked. He would move on, though. Billy wasn't his grudge. Things would eventually swing in his and Skarr's favour. They just had to wait a little while longer.