Spoiler: Peyton's withdrawal symptoms from the drugs gets worse, sending her out of control. Things take a dramatic turn for the worst.

Something awful was going to happen. It was the evening The sun drowned in the horizon, it's rays of light glimmering in the darkness of the clouds faded and the pale moon peeked at her from the stars. she lay in her bed restlessly. Yep, there was no doubt…

With the way she left things with Lucas. A couple hours prior, he had tried to come after her when she ran off practically begging her to see sense but she didn't want to hear it, she reckoned that he'd come by later today like he always did after they had a disagreement but he never showed. She guessed she deserved it. Maybe if she just pushed him away far enough he would finally get the hint that she's bad for him. Lucas…he was her world and she was determined not to let him be influenced by her darkness. It was her turn to save him. Sammy had been arrested about twenty minutes after Peyton had run for the hills and now the police wanted her in for questions. No…she was gonna leave Tree Hill today, tonight before this whole thing got taken to court, and worse the whole of fucking Tree Hill knew about it, and that she couldn't handle. She glanced over at the readily packed suitcase in the corner of the room.

She had about a total of twenty five voice mails from Lucas, seven from Nathan, three from Haley and surprisingly even Brooke tried.

Brooke…

No...that conniving bitch didn't deserve any of her forgiveness as far as she was concerned, not after the shit she had pulled. In stealing away, the guy that she had fallen in love with. She was leaving Tree Hill tonight, as soon as she picked up her shit from Rick and got all her stuff together she was gonna leave this place without a backwards glance…forever…hopefully. She swallowed the guilt as Lucas's hurt expression popped into her head…

'this is the right decision' She thought as she forced herself to remember everything, every bit of hurt, pain and confusion that bastard had put her through in the first place. It was partly his fault she was like this, and she had decided this was probably why he had made it his life mission to save her.

But here she was at 7:30 at night, awake and scared, beads of cold sweat lingering on her forehead and the shakes convulsing her body violently, as she begun to question her sanity. She keeps telling herself it's just that she's overthinking everything, if they really cared about her they'd let her go knowing she was unsafe here. But that doesn't explain why she feel so scared. This was not all in her head.

She felt the bile pushing its way up her throat and flew from her bed on shaky knees, retching and dry heaving but nothing came up. She just wanted everything to just disappear, she wished she had never gone to that fucking party. She got up and walked across her room feeling as though she was trapped in some sort of house arrest. Peyton felt a chill, as if her body had been plunged into ice water. Her skin rose in goose-flesh. She was so lost, she just didn't know what to do anymore, what was the point in even living.

That was when she got the bright idea.

"It's ok sweetie" came a voice that made her jump as she looked around her, she couldn't see anyone in sight.

Then her eyes slowly drifted to look at herself in the mirror as the realization dawned on her, the phantom of her dearly departed mother Anna staring back at her, standing behind her like she was in the room with her. She looked beautiful but a ghostly pale like some sort of fucked up china doll, nothing like how she looked when Peyton had lost her at the tender age of only nine years' old, her ashen colored hair hung past her shoulders stopping just beneath her chest and her unending seas of gunmetal blue eyes that had formerly held so much love and care was now full of nothing. She was emotionless.

"Mommy what do I do?" she choked, her face showed distress and drops slowly ran down her face. She had wiped them so much they were red and swollen. Her vision was blurry; it was difficult for her to see clearly.

She watched as her mom moved closer to her, touching her hair but she felt nothing. Afraid that if she looked away the spell would be broken and her mom would disappear again forever, this confirmed that she was hallucinating. She watched as a forced smile split her mother's face.

"I know what you're going through and it's ok" Peyton felt her heart flutter with hope maybe it would be ok after all. "That red light was where your life should've ended Peyton" She looked her mom dead in the eye at that her heart sinking into the pit of her stomach as an unwelcomed weight settled its self-right onto her heart. She was right.

"All those times you ran the red lights; you knew…you were ready to die remember" She shook her head biting her lower lip so hard it could've drawn blood before answering. "I don't know what to do".

"Yes you do, honey...you know exactly what to do" she stared at her mother waiting for what she was gonna say next. She then followed her mother's gaze falling directly on her infamous drawing of the red lights. People always leave, then looked back up at her with teary eyes. "That's right, you cross that red light and this will all be over it's the right thing to do Peyton y'know it is. Just think you can finally stop being such a burden to Lucas and him and Brooke can get back together and be happy" She shook her head. No. He loved her, he promised.

"But he doesn't love Brooke he loves me Mom" she protested as her mom shook her head. "If he loved you he would've chose you before" she had a point there that Peyton couldn't really argue with. She blinked as more tears spilt down her face. "Admit it he's better of without you" She nodded taking in what her mom just said.

"Because i'm a monster and I deserve to die" She said as she her nodded her head in confirmation.

She stood taking the information in before shaking her head her brows furrowing. "I can't do that, I can't leave dad and Luke and Nate" she begun.

"Your dad, Luke and Nate their better of without you, don't you see that?" her mom queried.

"But mom, dad won't have anyone" She choked out the lump in her throat growing even more and making her throat burn painfully.

"At least you won't hurt either of them anymore than you have already" she nodded blinking the tears away. "Y...your right...I" She choked on her words as her face screwed up and she was sure she was gonna have another emotional breakdown. "I'm sorry...I...Mommy I didn't mean to disappoint you" She looked her mom in the eyes again and watched as she shook her head.

"Well it's just to bad you did" She gasped out at that, as a guttural loud sob escaped her lungs and she slammed a palm over her mouth, her entire body know wracked badly with violent shakes. When the light to her bedroom turned on.

"Peyton"

The light turned on and her heart leapt into her throat, she spun to face the intruder and was met with the sight of Nate. His steely eyes boring into hers and dark raven hair combed neatly in a part, he stared at her questioningly, the shock evident from her fragile form her eyes puffy and red from crying. "Who you talking to?" She suddenly found the ring on her finger interesting and started fiddling with it, ignoring his question.

"I came to see how you were, we tried to call you but you haven't been answering any of us. Lucas is going crazy their all over at Karen's right now trying to figure out a way to get through to you..." she'd heard enough. She cut him of sharply.

"How'd you get in here?" it came out harsher than she intended but, fuck it who cares.

"The door wasn't locked" She nodded showing she understood, "I think you should come over to Karen's cafe, just so they know your ok" she dismissed him instantly but she could tell he wasn't backing down. "Going somewhere?" She followed his gaze to the suitcase in the corner of her room. "FINE I'LL COME!" She suddenly snapped storming out of the room and making off down the stairs.

She heard him follow and before she could make for the door she felt him grab her arm. "Peyton were you planning on just upping and leaving without telling anyone" She tried to get away from him but he was stronger and his grip grew tighter. "Nate your hurting me" She said through clenched teeth but he didn't let go. "You were just gonna fucking run away like a coward" she watched as he spat the words out like venom.

"Are we going to this fucking shitty place or what?" She queried her voice cracking, his blue eyes bore fire and before she could register his actions she was being dragged outside and he practically threw her inside his gleaming black jeep.

"FUCKING CHRIST NATE!" She screeched as he walked over to the driver side before getting in and slamming the door so hard it shook.

They drove in silence all the way to Karen's Cafe and when they had finally reached their destination he parked right outside so she could get a full glimpse of all of them sitting at a table watching the smiles on their faces and watching as Haley sung for them. She swallowed hard tears pricking her eyes.

"Were sorting this now Sawyer" She looked over at him, and his eyes held nothing but burning anger. This was the side of Nate she always hoped she'd never be on, but unfortunately for her luck wasn't on her side at the moment. He flew out the car and then appeared at the passengers side opening the door and yanking her out roughly. She tried to run away but he pulled her back and forced her to walk into the cafe.

"Get off me" She seethed as they entered the cafe and instantly the whole gangs eyes were on the pair. And Haley stopped singing. Lucas instantly stood to his feet and started walking over followed by Brooke. Then Haley who had been singing had practically just stopped the entire performance to come over.

"Jesus Peyt...I was so worried" She swallowed the guilt that was now threatening to break her into bits. She didn't speak just looked down at her shoes. "Where's your mom?" she asked as Lucas baby blue eyes gleamed with pain. Was this seriously what she was asking at a time like this?

"She's in the kitchen" she nodded.

"Look Peyton I am so so sorry" She looked up and had to stifle a laugh as Brooke Davis, former best mate stared at her with tear filled eyes.

"Course you are...right? I mean you managed to completely fuck me up even more than I already was, I hate you" She spat childishly as she gave Brooke the coldest glare she could, "Peyton" Brooke croaked but she looked away. She felt Lucas grip her arm but shrugged him off roughly, ignoring his wounded expression. "I'm doing this for you Luke trust me" She said but he shook his head, "Why are you doing this to me Peyton, I've apologized, I've tried to be here for you...Hell Peyton I love you and you love me, your just not well baby...you need help. Just trust me." He stroked her cheek but she moved away, she snapped at that, she needed him to just stop no matter if it meant he didn't forgive her. She'd take the risk if it meant that he was safe from her.

'You know what Lucas...trust...trust is a motherfucker. I trusted Sammy and look where that got me. Which is why I gotta go' she rambled erratically.

'Wait what your leaving?' he asked his voice pitching to all new white hot rage.

She didn't answer.

'PEYTON!' he yelled making her jump and divert her attention to the floor.

'Yeah I am, but you know what first i'm gonna see that dirty son of a bitch and I'm go show him that I'm not afraid of him' she gritted out turning to leave but she felt a vice grip on her arm and was spun around to be met with a storm of angry blue orbs.

'NO YOUR NOT GOING TO SEE HIM, THINK OF WHAT HE DID TO YOU!' Lucas spoke frantically motioning at her.

'You don't think I know what he did to me' she begun to talk over him as he started saying shit she really didn't want to listen to. 'NO ONE KNOWS BUT ME. HE RAPED ME. HE TOOK MY TRUST AND HE STOMPED ON IT. HE TERRORIZED ME FOR WEEKS AND YET NOBODY NOTICED. WHAT ELSE CAN HE DO TO ME, KILL ME? I'M NOT GONNA GO DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT AND NO ONE'S GONNA STOP ME. NOT YOU. NOT THE POLICE AND NOT ALL THE RAPISTS IN TREE HILL!' She yelled making to walk off but she turned around to face him again before he could stop her.

'You know what? If I was a man, one of these douche bags who lives here, anyone would say that it's totally doable. You're just saying it's a bad idea because you think I can't handle it because I'm a woman. I can. I have seen how it's done. And I will handle it without you if I have to' she verbosed.

'Okay Peyton...okay' she watched as he put his hands in the surrender pose, and his eyes held nothing but pain and concern. 'Peyt I can get why you feel you need to do this' he said softly.

She let out a bitter laugh before speaking her mind.

"NO YOU DON'T, YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND...JUST GO AND BE WITH BROOKE. I MEAN YOU SAID HOW MANY TIMES, SHE'S YOUR PRETTY GIRL, YOU FOUGHT TO BE WITH HER BUT YOU NEVER EVER FOUGHT TO BE WITH ME, YOU TOLD ME HOW IN LOVE WITH HER YOU WAS. I WATCHED AS YOU PURSUED HER AND IT KILLED ME EVERY TIME. I'D CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP AND THE ONE TIME I TRIED TO GET MY OWN IT CAME BACK TO BITE ME IN THE ASS TWICE AS BAD. YOU KNOW WHAT LUKE I NEVER EVER THOUGHT THAT YOU'D TURN INTO DAN...CONGRATULATION HE'D BE PROUD OF THE MAN YOU'VE BECOME, YOUR A RIGHT CHIP OF THE OLD BLOCK!" She shrieked with sarcasm her sweaty hand clutching at her thin henley top that was sticking to her from her sweat. God it was so hot.

And it was then that she finally admitted to herself that this was her hitting rock bottom.

She had finally cracked.

His jaw set at that and His normally calm and pleasant demeanor slowly cracked his face contorted in an all - consuming anger; his nostrils flaring, his eyes flashing as he did his infamous squint that she found all so sexy, if the situation was different she swore she would've jumped his bones.

"Y'KNOW WHAT PEYTON, MAYBE YOUR RIGHT. YOUR A MESS LOOK AT YOU, YOUR COLD TURKEY ON HEROIN AND WITHDRAWING, YOU GOT RAPED BECAUSE OF YOUR POOR CHOICE. I'M GLAD I'VE GOT A GET OUT OF JAIL FREE CARD, CAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU PROBABLY WASN'T WORTH IT TO BEGIN WITH. YOUR MOM WOULD BE SO PROUD!" She gasped audibly at that as she heard Karen call her son's name in a shocked and appalled voice, not only had he pulled the mother card but now the bag had dropped and the whole fucking cafe knew about the attack. Tears begun to prick at her eyes and she fought hard not to let them spill in front of him but it didn't do her justice, because that it felt like he had just taken her heart. She watched as a flicker of guilt and pain crossed his features and a smile spilt her lips as the tears slid down her face and she nodded.

"YEAH, WELL YOU KNOW WHAT I'D SETTLE FOR NATE WHEN HE WAS TREATING ME LIKE SHIT RIGHT NOW, Y'KNOW BEFORE YOU CAME IN ON YOUR HIGH SAYING HOW HE WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME AND HOW YOU HAD TO BE WITH ME. YOU KNEW HOW I FELT ABOUT YOU AND YOU STILL HOOKED UP WITH MY BEST FRIEND RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME LITERALLY. SO THE NEXT TIME YOU WANNA TELL ME THAT YOU UNDERSTAND JUST REMEMBER IT WASN'T YOU HAD SOME GUY SWEATING ON YOU AND TEARING YOU IN HALF. WHERE WERE YOU LUKE?" She begun to sob as he stared at her shaking his head.

"Peyt" she cut him off.

"WHERE WERE YOU? Y'KNOW I WAS SO OUT OF IT, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT DAY IT WAS NOT TO MENTION I KISSED NATE" She said that was her little bit of spite to tip him over the edge even more. But in all the spite she forgot that Haley was standing right there and she was instantly met with a hard and vicious slap to the face causing a scream to erupt from her. She looked down holding her cheek as Haley glared up at her with disgust.

Yep, the bag had definitely dropped now and it was all kicking off. "YOU KISSED MY FUCKING HUSBAND PEYTON...NATHAN?" She asked looking to Nathan her eyes hurt as the tears spilt from her hazel eyes. Causing a painful breath to hitch in her throat.

Nathan who had remained quite the entire time finally piped up "She was confused. She didn't know what she was doing" She swallowed hard as she watched Lucas' conflicted expression which was a cross between pain and anger. Green eyes were fighting Blue in a battle for dominance.

"Peyton...How could you do this to us" He seethed his eyes glistening with unshed angry tears. Lucas was the kinda who had to get it all out of his system and wasn't afraid to cry in front of others, what he said though was to far, farther than she had gone about Dan the wounds were too deep.

She watched as Haley and Nathan begun to argue and Brooke cut in as Lucas was shouting something at her but she couldn't make out what he was saying. His mouth was moving but nothing was coming out. It was like in those movies when it has the scene of the person shouting inaudibly. She didn't wait to here anymore so she spun on her heels and fled the cafe.

"Peyton" she heard but she didn't turn around as she opened the door to Nate' jeep and hopped into the drivers seat. She grabbed the keys off the seat her hands shaking as she started the engine. She was then met with the sight of Nathan and Lucas banging on the car window begging her to stop. But it was like she was in her own little world, everything was a daze and her mother's words rung in her head.

Their better off without you.

"It stops now" she murmured to herself in a trance as she started the engine and gunned it off down the road. She had been driving like a maniac for about five minutes and her phone kept buzzing reading Nathan.

Guns N roses Sweet Child O' Mine was blaring through the speaker and she turns it up to max as she blinked the tears away and decided to answer it. She flipped her phone open.

Oh, oh, oh
Sweet child o' mine
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Sweet love of mine

"Sawyer where are you?" She caught onto his worried voice her breath hitching in her throat. "I don't know" was all she could get out as she heard Lucas' angry retorts in the background causing her to wince. It hurt so much she couldn't breath, the pain was unbearable...he hated her, he hate her.

She's got eyes of the bluest skies
As if they thought of rain
I hate to look into those eyes
And see an ounce of pain
Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place
Where as a child I'd hide
And pray for the thunder
And the rain
To quietly pass me by

"Sawyer pull over...you shouldn't be driving while your like this" She shook her head, the last bit of self control she had starting to slip away. "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO FUCKING DO NATE!" She shrieked as she was coming up for the bridge, she shook as she gripped the wheel angrily her knuckles turning white from how hard she was gripping the wheel. It was decided she was gonna get the hell out Tree Hill for good.

Oh, oh, oh, oh
Sweet child o' mine
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Sweet love of mine

"You, Lucas, Haley, my dad, everyone your better off without me which is why I have to go" She choked out when she heard the roar of an engine about twenty meters behind her. No fucking way they had followed her. "Pull over Sawyer" She ignored him as she came up for the bridge. Then Lucas' voice suddenly filled the phone causing butterflies to saw within her stomach. It didn't sound angry anymore it sounded broken and pained. "Luke?" she questioned to confirm it was him and then she instantly cursed herself for melting so quickly.

Oh, oh, oh
Sweet child o' mine
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Sweet love of mine

She sobbed knowing Nathan had put him on because he was the only one who could snap her out of it. "Look...Pull over Peyton please" She ignored him shaking her head, she begun to choose her words carefully, she could hear Haley and Brooke in the background asking what she was saying. She opened her mouth to speak but a bang caused her to jump, which told her it was a flat tire and she dropped her phone underneath the break.

Oh,
Where do we go now?
Where do we go?
Oh, (sweet child)

She could hear Lucas asking if she was still there and she managed to get the phone from under the break taking her eyes of the road for one second. Just one. When she looked up there she saw the headlights of a car coming full speed ahead towards her and she swerves to avoid it letting out a scream as the car reers sharply forcing her front end to lose control and driving off the bridge before slamming into the river, causing her to hit her head on the steering wheel and she's instantly out cold.

Where do we go?
Where do we go now?
Where do we go?
Oh,
Where do we go now?
No, no, no, no, no, no
Sweet child,
Sweet child of mine

Then the car starts to sink.

A/N: That's this update complete i'd love to hear your thoughts and It's quite intense I hope you guys enjoyed it. How will Lucas save Peyton? Will it be too late?

LeytonFan4Eva xx