HP

Lease of new Life - Chapter 14 - St Mungo's: The first step to recovery

.·ˆ¯)...(¯ˆ·.
¸.·ˆˆˆ(ºvº)ˆˆˆ·.¸
m m

·:·:·:·:·:·:·:·:·:·

It was the morning of Wednesday the 15th August 1990, the day of Harry's first session in theatre. Severus was sat with Harry who was eating his lunch. The two had recently been accompanied by Minerva and Albus who had visited to give Harry and Severus their support for the day ahead.

"Hello Harry," smiled Minerva.

"Hi Minerva," replied Harry.

"I' am sorry I haven't been able to visit very much Harry, but I have been busy visiting Muggle born students."

"How come?"

"Well wizarding society has to keep itself secret from Muggles, so when Muggle born students receive their Hogwarts letter it can be quite a bit of a shock. It is therefore best if a member of staff visits to explain how things work and such," explained Minerva.

Severus listened to their conversation but was also observing Albus. It had been true that Albus and Minerva had not visited Harry that much over the last two weeks. Minerva had been very busy visiting at least two families of Muggle born students each day, so he completely understood.

As for Albus though he had been very reserved. He had paperwork and board of Governor Meetings but, he wasn't as busy as Minerva at the moment although he most likely would be by the end of August. Severus guessed that Albus was scared of Harry, or more accurately scared of telling him about the Dursleys, much like how he was nervous about discussing his Death Eater past. Albus would have to tell him sooner or later though, just how he would have to do the same. He exited his thoughts and caught onto Harry's conversation with Minerva.

"So can you really turn into a cat then?"

"Oh yes its part of my tradition with my first year students at Hogwarts. I do it for fun really, it always is quite sweet and adorable to see the gobsmacked expressions on their faces when I transform before their very eyes"

"I bet it is," smiled Harry.

At that moment Herbert entered the room. "Morning everyone."

"Morning," they replied in unison.

"Well I just came to talk about the surgery today, I hope you're not worried Harry?"

"I dunno a little bit I suppose."

"Well I suppose it's normal to be a bit nervous isn't it," replied Herbert warmly.

"Of course it is," said Minerva trying to make Harry feel a bit better.

"Anyway Severus could I have a quick word with you outside please?"

"Of course," replied Severus stepping outside with Herbert. Once outside he cast a "Silencio."

"How are things Severus?"

"Harry seems to be taking things reasonably well."

"Well I don't need to discuss anything important but, I thought I might make a suggestion to help Harry."

"Yes?"

"It might be a good idea to give Harry a bath before he goes into theatre at two. Harry needs to be clean anyway and I will drop in to give you a new gown for him. I just think it will help him unwind and relax before the ordeal of it all, I know he normally has them in the evening but it might help."

"Indeed, I normally pour a muscle relaxation potion into Harry's bath, what about a calming draught?"

"Yes it should be fine and probably a good idea if Harry is worried."

"Bath it is then," said Severus. Herbert nodded and they both entered Harry's room.

"Harry."

"Yes Sev?"

"I and Herbert have been talking and, he thinks it might be a good idea for you to have a bath, would you like one? It will help you relax and you need to be clean for theatre anyway."

"What about Albus and Minerva?" asked Harry thoughtfully.

"They will be ok Harry, in fact would you like some lunch perhaps?" stated Herbert.

"Ah yes please," replied Albus. Minerva also indicated that she would also like some food.

"Very well I shall let Blinky know, I will bring Harry's things Severus."

"Thank you Herbert," he replied. "Harry you wait here and I will go run your bath."

"Kay."

He strode into the bathroom and put the plug in and turned on the taps. The water began to fill up quickly. He pulled out two muscle relaxation potions and un-shrunk them. He unstopped the stoppers and poured them into the water. It was double the dose he normally gave to Harry and it would help relax his entire body. He pulled out a strong dose of calming draught and also un-shrunk it. He set it on the side out of the way. Herbert walked in a moment later with a new clean white hospital gown and laid it on the side for Severus.

"For afterwards Severus," said Herbert.

"Thank you Herbert" he replied, whilst turning off the taps as the water filled the tub. He followed Herbert back into the room and watched as Herbert departed. "Are you ready Harry?"

"Yes," replied Harry.

"Very well take my hand," instructed Severus. Severus led Harry into the bathroom and left him by the mat. "Stay there a moment Harry," he then went and closed the door to give them some privacy. "Alright Harry arms up," said Severus lifting Harry's gown which he placed on the side. He then helped Harry take off his blue briefs, before picking him up and lowering him into the water.

Harry felt his feet enter the warm water followed by the rest of his body. He lay back against the curvature of the bath. It wasn't long before his muscles became more and more relaxed. They became lax and he felt as if he had no strength in them at all, so much so that he could hardly move, not that he wanted to move of course, he melted into the water. "Feels good," murmured out Harry.

Severus observed Harry becoming more and more relaxed and, decided now would be a good time to give Harry the calming draught, which would make Harry more relaxed and docile and a bit out of it.

"Take this Harry."

"Wat iz it?" mumbled Harry.

"It's a calming draught Harry it will stop you worrying."

"Mmm," replied Harry.

"Alright open," said Severus as he pressed the vial to Harry's lips, once Harry opened his mouth he tilted the vial and let the contents slip into Harry's mouth and down his throat.

Harry felt the contents of the potion going down his throat and instantly his worries about the theatre were pushed from the surface of his mind. It was weird, it was impossible to have unpleasant thoughts, he just felt content, calm and happy and, his thoughts seemed to slow down. It was hard to think so he didn't.

"Feel good Harry," smiled Severus who was pleased to see that Harry had an expression that seemed to suggest that he felt like he was in paradise.

He waited a few moments before Harry replied "Mnyeh," no doubt he was feeling the effects of the potion and was a bit out of it. Severus just chuckled at that.

Harry just lay there relaxing more and more. He could hear Sev talking but it wasn't making a lot of sense, so he just ignored it and didn't let it bother him, he was just happy to relax and not care about anything.

Severus had asked Harry if he wanted him to wash his hair but had received no reply. He understood, the effects of the potion were working and Harry really was out of it now. He took the shampoo and poured water on Harry's hair to wet it. He then rubbed in the shampoo to clean it. He did this for a few minutes before rinsing it. He then decided to just let Harry relax in the soapy water.

Severus sat and watched Harry. He looked at Harry's chest which was rising and falling slower now than it had been before. That meant Harry had fallen asleep. That was good decided Severus. It would be best to let Harry sleep and take him into theatre, that way he wouldn't be able to worry and would wake up later when it was all over. He decided to cast a sedative spell over Harry to ensure he didn't wake up.

He leant over the bath and cast a feather weight charm and picked Harry up out of the water. Once Harry was out the water he sat him on his lap as he sat on the toilet seat. He waved his wand over Harry and dried him and himself. He pulled the gown off the side and guided the neck of it over Harry's head and pulled it over Harry's body lifting Harry slightly to pull it down. Once he was done he pulled out Harry's blue briefs and pulled them up Harry's legs standing whilst he pulled them all the way up. With that done he took Harry through to his room.

He emerged and found Albus and Minerva eating spaghetti Bolognese. It seemed Blinky had treated them to Italian this time.

"Ah Severus," said Albus.

"Is he sleeping?" inquired Minerva.

"Yes, I gave him muscle relaxation potions and a strong dose of calming draught. I think that combined with the warm water made him sleepy."

"Better this way," stated Albus.

"Indeed, I sedated him to ensure he didn't wake up." Severus moved towards the bed and set Harry down. He too sat down in his armchair and waited patiently. There was less than an hour to go before the surgery.

·:·:·:·:·:·:·:·:·:·

Severus had been reading the Daily Prophet. He looked up when he saw David and Helen enter the room followed by a stretcher on wheels.

"Ah good to see you all and how is Harry?" asked David.

"Asleep by the looks of it," smiled Helen.

"He fell asleep in the bath and I sedated him to ensure he didn't wake up," replied Severus putting down his copy of the Daily Prophet.

"Well at least he won't be worrying this way," stated David moving the stretcher towards Harry's bed.

"Let's get the show on the road then," he said cheerfully, "Mobilicorpus," he levitated Harry off the bed and set him down on the stretcher. Once he was done Helen pulled a blanket over Harry.

"Well we should be back in about an hour's time or so," said David. Severus rose and stood over Harry beside the stretcher. He was about to stroke Harry's head when he caught himself. The movement wasn't missed by Helen though.

"Severus don't worry Harry will be perfectly fine," she reassured.

"Yes of course," he said whilst moving to sit back down.

"Helen is right Severus we will have Harry back in no time," stated David trying to reassure Severus who nodded. With that they both departed. Severus watched them go. He felt worried. It was an irrational thought though he thought to himself. David and his team were one of the best in Britain. Really there was nothing to worry about but, that didn't stop him worrying about Harry. All he could think about was what if something went terribly wrong. It felt awful having no control over the situation.

"Severus?"

"Yes Minerva?"

"If you don't stop gripping the arm of the chair like that then I fear you will break it."

"Indeed," he said whilst releasing his iron grip on the arm of the chair. Once he did he found he had left a mark.

"Come now Severus, David will look after Harry," said Albus.

Albus's voice reminded Severus of his thoughts earlier. Now Harry wasn't here it would be a good opportunity to confront Albus about his avoidance of Harry and, he had Minerva here who would no doubt support him.

"Albus I have been wondering."

"Wondering about what Severus?"

"Have you been avoiding Harry Albus?"

"I was wondering that as well," added Minerva.

"Was it really that obvious?" replied Albus looking between the two.

"You have hardly seen the boy in the last two weeks," replied Minerva.

"Exactly headmaster it was indeed as you say obvious."

"Well you have caught me red handed as the saying goes." said Albus lifting both his hands.

"You know you will have to tell him sooner or later don't you," stated Severus.

"Severus is right Albus you cannot ignore the issue for ever."

"Tell me Severus have you told Harry about your past as a Death Eater?"

"I have told him certain things but, no I have not told him I was a Death Eater," he growled out.

"Ah well then Severus, as the saying goes, those who live in glass houses should not throw stones," returned Albus.

"You are correct to an extent Albus, I too will have to tell Harry about my mistakes but, my not telling Harry has not resulted in me completely avoiding him. It's not an issue for me but, it most clearly is for you." He countered quite pleased with his response. Albus could not come up with a retort and simply inclined his head in a small nod.

Minerva who had been watching the whole affair spoke up "Well are you both finished now?" Albus chuckled at that.

"Yes Minerva, Severus is right of course I will tell Harry as soon as possible. I think telling him right after he woke up from surgery would be extremely tactless on my part, so I shall wait till tomorrow"

"Very well Albus" replied Minerva. Severus just nodded his head showing he understood. He would be there to support Harry. He really had no idea how Harry would react though and that scared him.

·:·:·:·:·:·:·:·:·:·

Harry came to his senses and felt very groggy. He let out an "Mmm Uhh," and yawned. His body felt tired and he had no idea where he was. The last thing he remembered was lying in the bathtub but, he was obviously no longer in the bath as he was bone dry.

"How are you feeling Harry?" asked a voice beside him. It took him awhile to comprehend it but he realised it was Sev's voice asking him how he felt. He replied with an "Mmmtired".

"I bet you are Harry, here drink this," Harry felt something pressed to his lips and just complied by opening his mouth. He felt the liquid going down his throat. The feelings of tiredness and drowsiness were leaving him and, he was becoming more aware and less groggy. He lay there for a moment before sitting up. He realised he was in bed but had no idea how he got there or what time it was.

"How are you feeling now Harry," Harry heard Severus say.

"Better," he replied although he still felt quite achy.

"Good."

"What was that?" he questioned wondering what potion Severus had given him.

"Invigoration draught it wakes you up," replied Severus.

"What's going on," he really was still quite confused.

"Well you fell asleep in the bath and then you went to theatre, now your back in bed," replied Severus.

Harry sat there and thought about what Sev had said. Things were making more sense now. He remembered Severus giving him a calming draught in the bath and he must have fallen asleep. So he had been to theatre and returned.

"How did it go?"

"It was perfect, I spoke to David afterwards and he was very pleased with how things went."

"That's good I suppose."

"Indeed Harry I suppose you are hungry?"

"Yeah," he replied although the tiredness was returning. He supposed the surgery really took it out of him.

"Alright I will get Blinky to send something up," Harry was listening but he was also getting very drowsy again. He rested his head on the pillows and didn't hear Severus asking him what he wanted to eat.

Severus observed Harry. He was no doubt exhausted since he had just fallen asleep despite just having an invigoration draught. He pulled out a double dose of nutrition potion out of his robe pocket and, un-shrunk it. He unstopped the stopper and spelled its contents into Harry's stomach. It was important for Harry's body to get nutrients whilst recovering. He now understood why David said he wanted Harry to rest between the surgeries. It seemed to be quite draining on Harry's little body. Harry would most likely sleep for a long time, so he decided he would make his way up to the cafe, where Albus and Minerva were currently having dinner.

·:·:·:·:·:·:·:·:·:·

It was the 16th August, the day after Harry's surgery. It was late in the evening and, Harry had finally woken up around half an hour ago and, was currently having some dinner. Severus stood outside Harry's room with Albus engaged in conversation.

"What do you think Harry's reaction will be Severus?" asked Albus.

"I don't know Albus but you need to tell him just like I need to tell him about my past. Harry has a right to know." Albus nodded and stepped into Harry's room. Severus watched him go but remained outside respecting Harry's privacy. He decided to go speak to Helen and let her know how Harry was doing.

·:·:·:·:·:·:·:·:·:·

Harry was sat sipping his pumpkin juice when he heard someone enter his room. He knew that Albus and Sev were talking outside, so he wondered why he only heard one set of footsteps and, why the footsteps sounded different than Sev's.

"Who's there?" He asked cautiously.

"Just me Harry," replied Albus warmly.

"Oh where's Sev then?"

"You don't miss a trick do you Harry. He decided to remain outside."

"Why?" said Harry becoming quite suspicious.

"Well I wanted to talk to you about something Harry, something rather private and he felt it best to respect your privacy," said Albus whilst sitting down beside Harry's bed.

Harry's suspicions were eased at that. Albus just wanted to talk to him about something private but what? "Talk to me about what?"

Albus sighed before saying "Well Harry I feel I owe you a grave apology."

"Why?" asked Harry who was unsure why Albus would need to apologise to him, as far as he knew Albus had done nothing to hurt him.

"You see Harry I' am your magical guardian. The ministry made me your guardian after Voldemort murdered your parents."

"Wait, what do you mean?" asked Harry who wasn't entirely sure where this was leading.

"I mean Harry that it was I who decided where you were to be placed. It was me who left you to live with your aunt Harry," trailed off Albus.

It hit Harry like a bombshell. He had often wondered how he had ended up at the Dursleys and had wanted to know who was responsible for that decision. Albus had just told him he was responsible. He really didn't know what to say or think, but he felt angry and didn't want Albus to be near him anymore, he just wanted to be alone.

"Harry I'm deeply sorry, I feel terrible about the whole ordeal,"

Harry didn't want to hear any of it. He didn't want to speak to Albus and he didn't want Albus to say anymore. It was way too much, all he could think about was all the hurt and pain he had experienced at the hands of the Dursleys over the years.

"Go" got out Harry, the anger rising in him.

"Harry please you have to let me explain," pleaded Albus before Harry cut him off.

"I said GO AWAY!" whined out Harry, his voice quivering.

Albus could see that Harry was very upset at the moment and needed some time to be alone. He lowered his head defeated. He stood up and said "Very well Harry...If you want to speak to me just ask," before departing.

Harry was glad to be alone. He had been lying on his bed face down for the last ten minutes sulking, trying to make sense of it all.

His time at the Dursleys had been truly horrible. He had been repeatedly raped over the course of four years and beaten and abused over nine. He had suffered mental abuse as the Dursleys had lied to him and made him feel worthless. He had suffered neglect in that he had never been given enough food, clothing, warm or comfort. He had been forced to work for the Dursleys as a slave doing their housework but, most of all he had never felt loved or wanted.

The thing that hurt the most he thought was that it could have been different. Sev had told him that he was famous and that the wizarding world respected him. There must have been hundreds of wizarding families out there who would have wanted to give him a loving home, so why had Albus decided to put him with the Dursleys of all people?

He heard someone enter so he hid his head under the pillow. Footsteps approached towards his bed and he felt a weight on the bed beside him. Someone was rubbing his back, he just lay there relaxing into the touch until a voice spoke up.

"Harry," he recognised the voice as Sev's and, slowly pulled his head out from under the pillow.

"How are you Harry?" asked Severus. Harry didn't know how he felt so he just shrugged his shoulders.

"Do you want to talk about it Harry?" Harry was about to shake his head, but he thought about what had been plaguing his mind. He wanted to know why it had all happened, what made Albus send him there in the first place.

"Why?" he asked.

"You mean why did Albus decide to place you with the Dursleys Harry?" Harry nodded his head at that.

"Didn't Albus explain?"

"I told him to go," whispered out Harry regretting that he had not let Albus explain. At least then he would have known why he had done it.

"Ah I see so he didn't get chance to explain then," replied Severus.

"I'm sorry I just got mad," replied Harry quietly. Severus pulled Harry up and hugged him to his chest. "Don't worry Harry it was a big thing to hear. I' am sure Albus will understand, in fact he decided to wait around in case you changed your mind."

"He did?" mumbled Harry against Severus's chest.

"Yes would you like me to go get him?"

"Not yet," replied Harry. He just rested there against Severus for a few minutes before speaking his mind. "Did you know about me?"

"What do you mean Harry?" replied Severus unsure what Harry meant.

"Well me staying at the Dursleys, did you know?"

"No Harry, If I had known I would have said something. I knew your aunt when she was a girl and she was jealous of your mother and her magic even then."

Harry felt better at that. He didn't know what he would do if he found out Sev had known he was at the Dursleys all along.

"There is something you should know though Harry. It was Albus who sent me and Minerva to check up on you, he was very concerned about you." Harry just nodded at that.

"Shall I go get him then?" asked Severus.

Harry nodded before adding "He won't be mad will he?"

"No Harry I think he knew you just wanted to be alone for awhile."

"Kay."

"Alright I'll be back in a minute," said Severus before leaving the room.

Harry sat there nervously. He really should not have shouted at Albus like that. After all he had come to apologise. If he really wanted he could have just kept the truth from him all along and he would never have known any different. He couldn't help it though, it had just been too much to hear but now he wanted to know why.

Albus and Severus entered. "Ah Harry feeling better now?" asked Albus warmly.

"Sorry," mumbled out Harry quietly.

"Don't be Harry I understand that you wanted to be alone," replied Albus sitting down. Severus also sat down beside Harry's bed.

"You're not mad then?"

"No Harry," Harry nodded his head to show he understood. "Now Severus tells me who have some questions."

"Yes."

"Fire away Harry."

"Why?"

"You mean why did I place you with the Dursleys Harry?"

"Yeah I mean there must have been other people who wanted to adopt me."

"Oh yes Harry, there were indeed lots of people who wanted to adopt you, some for the right reasons and some for the wrong reasons."

"What do you mean?" asked Harry who didn't quite understand what Albus meant.

"Well you see Harry the climate at the time was very unpredictable. Voldemort had just been defeated and, there were many of his Death Eaters and supporters still at large. It was hard for the Ministry to know what people's allegiances were . More so because quite a lot of people were under the Imperius curse, do you know what that is Harry?"

"Yes Sev told me it's so you can control people right?"

"Exactly Harry, I had lots of offers from different families but, I feared some of them wanted to hurt you Harry. It was hard for us to know which families would be safe for you. Not only that but many people may have only been interested in you because of your fame. They may have wished to exploit you."

"So that's why you placed me at the Dursleys then?" replied Harry who wasn't convinced it was a good enough reason.

"It was one of the reasons Harry, not the only one. You see when you're mother died to protect you she invoked a very powerful old magic. The magic is a mother's love for a child. Voldemort didn't know the magic had been activated and proceeded to try and kill you. When he did the curse that should have killed you rebounded and destroyed him."

"So that's why I survived?"

"Indeed but that's not the point. The magic your mother used still resides in you through your blood and, in the blood of your relatives. Your aunt Petunia is your only living blood relative. I was therefore able to set up very powerful blood wards at your aunt's house. Whilst you resided there you were protected, not even Voldemort himself could find you. So you see Harry, I placed you there because I wanted you to be safe and, because I wanted you to grow up away from all the fame and publicity. I wanted you to have a normal happy childhood."

"I think I understand then," said Harry thinking over everything Albus had said.

"As I said before I am deeply sorry, I wrote a letter to the Dursleys explaining everything. I sent them money to look after you. I was devastated when I learned what had happened to you and, was very angry as well. I hope you can forgive me Harry."

Harry thought about that. Albus was sorry he knew that. Albus had also been the one who was concerned about him in the first place and had sent Sev to rescue him. That didn't change the fact that he still felt very hurt about everything that had happened, even if Albus had intended the best for him.

"I know you're sorry but...It hurts...I think I can forgive you a bit but not fully...not yet anyway."

Albus smiled at that. He knew Harry would not be able to forgive him right away. He was just pleased that Harry was speaking to him and no longer shouting for him to go away. Harry needed to trust him and, he needed to make it up to Harry before he stood any chance of being fully forgiven. It was a start though and he would take whatever he could get.

"I understand Harry and I will wait until you are ready, but thank you Harry."

"For what?"

"For letting me explain and, for letting me see you." Harry nodded his head.

"Well I will let you get some rest, good night."

"Night," replied Harry.

"Albus," stated Severus who stood to escort Albus out. A moment later he returned.

"How do you feel Harry?"

"I dunno...I'm glad he told me but it still hurts... after what Vernon did to me."

"I understand Harry."

Harry had taken it rather well all things considered. Things had started out bad at first with Harry telling Albus to go but, once he had cooled off it wasn't so bad. He felt a bit easier about telling Harry about his own past now he had seen how Harry had reacted with Albus. It really came down to whether Harry felt worse about his parents dying or the abuse he had suffered at the Dursleys. Since Harry never really knew his parents Severus guessed Harry thought the abuse was worse. He hoped he was right anyway, or else Harry's reaction would be worse with him than it had been with Albus.

"Alright Harry let's get you ready for your bath."

·:·:·:·:·:·:·:·:·:·