She was annoyed, that much he could tell.
As they sat side by side enjoying the various selections of cold cuts and cheeses Mrs. Patmore had prepared for them he frantically racked his brain. What had he done? He supposed nine was a bit early in the morning when one hadn't gotten to bed until nearly 3:30 in the morning but they had both survived on less sleep. In fact most of their lives had been spent getting less sleep and having more to do. Would she really be so cross with him over that?
As Charles mind turned over in alarm Elsie sat beside him quietly seething.
She knew he meant well. He always meant well, but that didn't always mean he'd made the right decision. Why couldn't he have asked her? If he'd only asked her what she wanted to do with the day she would have told him. She would have told him all she wanted to do was stay in bed pressed up naked against him. She didn't even mind if they didn't make love, well not mind much, she just wanted to feel close to him. To feel protected in his arms. To feel the balances evening out, she missed the sense of tranquillity she found when they were alone together in their home hand in hand. Out here there was little chance he'd even be willing to hold her hand, not with the threat of someone coming across them. Though of course that was highly unlikely, while it was a lovely day most people would still be at church at this time of day, or at home preparing for their Sunday roast. Perhaps the awareness that they were likely to be alone made her angrier, they had the opportunity for some kissing at least but her husband clearly lacked the interest. Or so she thought.
"Is everything alright Elsie?" Charles finally asked after finishing his last bite.
"Fine." She replied curtly. While Charles hadn't been a husband long he knew well enough that things were anything but fine.
"I brought your book," he said, reaching into the bag he had brought along pulling out her favourite Austin novel.
"My book?" She asked incrediously, taking the novel from his hand.
"Yes…I thought perhaps you might want to read in the sunshine."
"And what will you be doing while I read?" She asked, trying to contain the ire within her which was rising quickly.
"I thought I might take a nap. I used to love napping on a sunny day when I was a boy." He said laying back across the blanket.
"Well…you've clearly thought of everything." She was with a huff, opening the book and looking down at the page, her eyes so full of rage she couldn't make out a single letter.
A half hour later and Charles was fast asleep snoring. At least he's catching up on his rest she thought begrudgingly. Briefly she considered putting her book down and laying against him. Resting her head on his chest, that warm inviting spot where she could hear his strong heart beating. But she thought better of it, she didn't want to make him uncomfortable when he woke up. She didn't want to overstep.
With a sigh she closed her book. She hadn't even read any of it, instead she had looked down at the letters absently as her mind wandered. It wandered to all the dark places she knew were buried deep within it. Thoughts of Charles leaving her, of running off with someone younger, someone prettier. He knew carnal pleasure now, perhaps he would go find it in someone with a less weathered body. The scar on her breast had always been a proud symbol to her, a badge of courage but now it felt like another tick in a long list of things that made her body unappealing.
Shaking her head Elsie got up from the blanket. There was no use sitting outside feeling alone, letting her mind turn over all the ugliness it had inside it. As she looked down at her husband she was resolute, and without waking him she walked away.
Charles didn't know how much time had passed but when he awoke he was startled to find he was alone. He sat up rubbing his face, trying to push the sleep away from his mind. As he looked around he didn't see her, as his tired eyes continued to scan his heart rate began to race. She was no where to be seen. She was gone. Looking beside him he noticed that her coat and purse were gone. She'd left. He sat in shock for a moment. Something must have happened to cause her to leave. Perhaps she was feeling unwell, or her ankle still hurt. She probably went home to ice it. Yes, he said to himself, that was logical. And of course being the kind woman she was she hadn't wished to disturb him. Charles began to frantically pack the picnic away as he repeated to himself that she was fine, that she'd just had to go home.
Everything was fine.
She was fine.
They were fine.
He repeated it again and again, like a mantra of a holy man. A hope for a desperate man to cling to as he walked as quickly as he could back to their cottage.
"Elsie!" He called out as he stepped inside the cottage door. He dropped the basket and bag inside the front door as he quickly moved around the cottage calling for her.
But no matter where he looked and how loudly he called there was no response.
After ten minutes of searching the cottage he noticed a note on the kitchen table.
Charles,
I've gone to Downton. I have far too much work for a day off. I will be home this evening.
-Elsie
"What on earth are you doing here?" Mrs. Patmore called from the kitchen as she watched the housekeeper walk by and into her sitting room, shutting the door firmly behind her.
"Watch the stew" Mrs. Patmore called to Daisy as she walked out of the kitchen.
Mrs. Patmore walked into the housekeepers sitting room without even knocking, an action that only further enraged the steaming housekeeper.
"Mrs. Patmore, if I've told you once I've told you a hundred times, knock and then wait to be allowed entry. If my door is closed there is likely a reason for it." Elsie said curtly from her desk chair, not even bothering to turn around a look at the cook during the scolding.
"Knock or no its your day off. Why in Heavens name are you here? Certainly you've not come to spread joy and sunshine through these dark halls." Mrs. Patmore said defiantly.
"The reason I am here is none of your business Mrs. Patmore. Now unless someone is dying or dead I don't wish to be disturbed."
"You didn't enjoy the picnic then?" Mrs. Patmore asked feeling the need to retreat.
"What was your first clue?!" Elsie said turning and glaring at the cook.