THE BURDEN OF LEADERSHIP
IT WAS PRETTY CLEAR THAT JASON DIDN'T WANT TO TALK TO ANYONE. HE SAT in the corner, alone, his knees hugged to his chest. His eyes were red and bloodshot – he'd spent the last hour sobbing in the corner. Twilight supposed that she couldn't blame him. After all, he was the leader of the Power Rangers – that meant that it was his job to keep his friends safe, to guide them and make sure that nothing bad happened to them.
It was the same with Twilight. Even before her coronation, she was considered the leader of her little band of friends – with Magic being the most elusive and powerful of the Elements of Harmony, it only made sense for Twilight to take that role. She never flaunted it, she never used that position to get what she wanted; she never wanted the position to begin with. She would have gladly allowed Rainbow Dash or Applejack to take command when they went into any dangerous situation – Nightmare Moon; the dragon that was spreading smoke over Equestria; Discord; the Changelings; King Sombra; Tirek; she was surprised at how Fluttershy somewhat took control of the situation with Starlight Glimmer, though it took some encouragement from everypony else.
But looking at Jason now, at the human whom she was told was strong and kind, watching him sulk in the corner, reveling in the loss of his friends, she felt her heart sink. She felt so sorry for him. There had to be something she could do.
If only she knew what. She could talk to him, could tell him that his friends wouldn't want him to be sorry for himself, but she wasn't sure if he would listen. She could tell him that he had to keep fighting for his friends, but would he? Would he take anything she said to heart?
There was only one way to find out.
She trotted over to him. He barely seemed to notice.
"Jason? Jason, are you okay?"
"You should know the answer to that question, Twilight," he said with a hushed voice. "I'm not okay. I feel like I let my friends down."
She put a hoof on his leg. "You didn't let your friends down. You did your best to keep them safe. I don't know how long you've been the leader of the Power Rangers, but you've done a really good job keeping them safe up until this point. You shouldn't beat yourself up for what happened back there."
"I can't help it. I'm the leader. I should have done something. But I didn't. I saved my own skin; I didn't think about everyone else." He turned to Twilight. "Do you have any idea the kind of pressure that someone in a leadership position deals with on an almost hourly basis, Twilight?"
"Yes, I do. Don't forget, I'm a princess. I'm royalty. I know exactly what it's like to be in a role of leadership, a role where everypony is looking up to you, looking to you for guidance. Even before my coronation, I was the one taking charge of the Elements of Harmony. I was the one who was issuing the commands, giving the orders, assigning everyone certain tasks. I know exactly what you mean. I feel the pressure on my shoulders every day." Jason turned away. Twilight used her magic to make him face her again. "Don't make the mistake of thinking that you're the only one who's lost something here, Jason. Discord is literally powerless, and both he and I are trapped in your world. We can get back to Equestria once my magic has been replenished – though I don't know how long that will take; last time it took nearly two days – but that won't solve Discord's problem, or bring your friends back." She nuzzled up against him; Jason put his arm around her, gently stroking her magenta mane. "I know exactly how you feel, Jason."
"Yuck," Discord gagged. "Getting all sappy on us." He leaned against Alpha. "Can you believe them?" Alpha brushed him away. "What? Was it something I said? Was it my breath? Do I need a mint?"
"Discord, Twilight and Jason have just been through a seriously traumatic event," Zordon told him. "They are two beings separated by dimensional barriers, yet they have more in common than they think. Including the fact that their friends are lost in Equestria, and even I can't say if we will ever get them back."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. But do they have to be so sappy about it?"
"I don't know why you're so cheery," Alpha said as he worked the control consoles. "Didn't you lose all your powers?"
"I'll get them back. Eventually. Maybe. I think."
###########################
They'd taken the last few minutes to catch their breath and try to figure out just what had happened. After they'd been blown back across the rift, it had suddenly closed. They could just barely make out Jason lunging for them, but it was too late – the rift had closed completely.
They were stuck in Equestria, with no way to get back to Angel Grove.
But that wasn't their main focus right now. They were more worried about Princess Celestia, who was off by herself. She'd folded her wings against her body and lowered her head in shame and sadness; one of her front hooves was scraping the ground.
How could she have been so foolish? How had she allowed Equestria to cross paths with all of these other worlds over the last eighteen months and not expect any repercussions from it? She knew of the laws of the multiverse – Starswirl the Bearded taught them to her and Luna just after he made them the Princesses of the Sun and the Moon. She should have known that ever since Cloud and his friends came to Equestria that they would have to suffer the consequences, even if it wasn't entirely their fault.
But why rope Angel Grove into this? They had nothing to do with what had happened before. The Power Rangers and the world they defended weren't at fault. Why had Kronos decided to punish them as well? It made no sense to her.
The more she thought about it, the more depressed she became. Her star pupil – the Princess of Friendship – and Discord were trapped in Angel Grove, and five of the six Power Rangers were trapped here in Equestria, with no way of getting home. Sure, Twilight could travel between the two worlds, but that wouldn't solve everything, and even then, traveling between worlds just once would deplete her magic reserves.
She'd been so foolish to not try to discuss things with Kronos beforehoof. If she had, they may have avoided this whole mess; her world wouldn't have been threatened with destruction, her subjects wouldn't be tending their wounds – some of which appeared to be quite serious; fortunately, it seemed like nopony had broken anything, except for their pride – and the Power Rangers would be safe at home, combatting their own villains. But no, she had to let things go, she had to put off discussing the issue with Kronos until it was too late. Luna had warned her about this, using the analogy of a cockatrice – she'd said that if Celestia put it off for too long, then she'd have more trouble to deal with; just as if she hadn't destroyed the cockatrice that had been hunting her, it would have frozen her in stone ten times over. And now, her subjects had nearly had their lives taken from them, Canterlot had been damaged – again – and her subjects' allies were in a world they knew virtually nothing about, a world in which they did not belong.
"It's all my fault," she whispered.
"Did you say something, Princess?" Applejack asked.
"I was foolish enough to let things slide until it was too late," Celestia mumbled. "I saw the signs, but I did nothing about it. I knew of Kronos's laws, but I never took any action when our world began receiving visitors from other worlds. And now look at what has happened."
"What happened wasn't your fault, Your Majesty," Kimberly said softly. "You're not the one to blame. Kronos is."
"Equestria is my responsibility. And for the second time, I've failed to do anything to protect it, until it was too late. I didn't do anything until after the Decepticons attacked, and I didn't do anything now. I've been letting things go, hoping that it wouldn't come to this."
"Wait, hold on, so you're saying that you knew that something like this would happen?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"I knew it was a possibility, but I never knew it would actually happen. At least, not now."
"That doesn't make you a bad princess, Princess," Rarity said. "You're one of the rulers of all of Equestria. You've got so many things to worry about. It's understandable that you wouldn't focus on something like this."
Kimberly patted Celestia on the side. "Please, Princess, don't beat yourself up about it."
"Kim's right," Zack added. "It could have happened to anybody. What we need to focus on now is finding a way to get back." He stretched and yawned. "But first, maybe we should get some rest. The way we are now, we won't be able to do anything."
"Zack's got a good point," Tommy agreed. He turned to Celestia. "Don't worry, Princess. We'll figure something out. Besides, I'm sure that Jason's working hard trying to come up with a solution to this problem."
##############################
He'd been sitting in the corner for nearly an hour. Twilight had tried to talk to him again, but he just pushed her away. It broke her heart to see him like this. It was like he was carrying this burden all by himself; he felt the weight of the situation on his shoulders, and there was no way that Twilight could comfort him.
It didn't seem like anypony could. So she figured it was better if she left him alone.
Discord was sitting atop one of the pylons on either side of Zordon's tube – despite having his powers taken away, he could still fly thanks to his wings. He had his arms crossed, and he was tapping his eagle talons impatiently against his other arm.
"Okay." He leaped down off the pylon and made his way over to Jason. "Look here, kid. I think it's time you stopped putting on this whole 'Feel Sorry For Me' thing. It's getting old." Jason just turned away. "All right, Red." He grabbed the collar of Jason's shirt and lifted him off the floor.
"Discord!" Twilight screamed. "What are you doing!"
Discord wasn't listening. "Look here, bub. Sitting on your butt feeling sorry for yourself won't get anything done. You want to bring your friends back to this world? Then you'd better damn well do something about it. You can't do that by feeling sorry for yourself."
"And just what the hell do you want me to do about it?" Jason demanded. "I can't do ANYTHING about it! I can't open rifts between worlds! I can't travel through time! I can't manipulate reality itself! I'm only human! There is simply nothing that I can do right now, so get your god damn hands off of me!" He slapped Discord's hand away, dropping to the floor. "The only one here who could feasibly do anything about this is Zordon, and he already said that even this is beyond him. He's not a god."
"Then how about you talk to the god?" Discord suggested. "Give Kronos a ring."
"Yeah, you think that he'd listen? He'd just as soon destroy me as listen to anything I have to say." He turned and walked away. He stopped; took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap like that. It's just….Well, I think you know."
Twilight walked over to Jason and gently put a hoof on his arm. "You can't beat yourself up for what happened. That's not going to help anyone, and it's just going to make you feel even worse than you already do. I've seen folks hold onto their guilt for so long that it drove them to madness. I'm sure your friends wouldn't want to see that happen to you. I know I don't."
Jason leaned against one of the control consoles. He crossed his arms and lowered his head. "I just don't know what to do. I can't think."
"You're tired," Twilight said. "We all are. In the last twenty-four hours, we've had barely three hours of sleep, and then there was our battle with Kronos." She rubbed her sides with her wings. "My ribs are still stinging from that hit. Maybe….Maybe if we get some rest, we can figure things out from there."
"I don't need it," Jason said defiantly. "I just need to get my thoughts together."
"You can't fool me, Jason," Twilight said. "I don't even have to look at you to know that you're wiped out. I can hear it in your voice." She looked over to the viewing globe, saw her reflection in the glass. "Oh, wow. You're not the only one who's frazzled. If Rarity were here, she'd be flipping her lid right about now." She looked back at Jason. "You want to see what you really look like right now? Come take a look. The viewing globe makes a great mirror."
"I'm not looking at myself," Jason scoffed. "I don't need to. I'm fine."
Twilight glared at him. "I thought you'd say something like that." She used her magic to pull him over.
"Hey, what are you doing? Let me go."
"Take a good, long look at yourself, Jason," Twilight said.
Jason looked at his reflection in the viewing globe, and for the first time, saw himself. He was covered in dirt and gunge from dried sweat; he had dried blood from several cuts and bruises all over his face and arms; dark circles were under his eyes, a sign of little sleep; his short, black hair was a mess, matted in some places and sticking up in others, with bits of dirt and gravel stuck in it. His clothes were dirty and ripped. His eyes were bloodshot. His left arm was twitching due to a muscle spasm. Actually, now that he looked at eyes, he wasn't sure if the dark circles were because of exhaustion, or if at least one of them was because of a black eye. Either one was certainly possible.
"Wow. You're right. We look like we've gone through a war."
"Jason, I would suggest going home and getting some rest," Zordon said.
"More than three hours this time," Alpha added.
Jason nodded his head in reply. "But what about Twilight and Discord? I don't think they want to sleep on a hard floor."
Discord put his arm around Jason's shoulders. "Looks like we're bunking with you, buddy!"
"Well….Okay, but I'd suggest staying out of sight. If my mom sees you two, she'll flip. It's bad enough she doesn't know I'm a Power Ranger and thinks I'm picking fights just for kicks; I don't even know what she'd think of a purple pony and a, a…a whatever."
Discord rolled his eyes. He was about to say something when Jason pressed the button on his wrist communicator, teleporting them to his backyard.
Jason pulled away from Discord and Twilight. "You two hide in the bushes. I'll let you know when it's safe to come out." He waited until they had done as he'd said, hiding themselves between the large bushes that separated his house from the neighbors', before heading to the front door.
His mother was already waiting for him.
"Jason, where have you – oh my god, what happened to you?"
"Nothing major, Mom. I'm okay, really."
"Jason, have you been getting into fights? What's gotten into you?"
"Just so you know, Mom, he made the first move. I was merely defending myself."
"You look like you've gone through a war zone."
"Felt like it." He started making his way to the stairs. "God, I need a shower."
His mother stopped him, throwing her arms around him. He winced at the pain in his shoulders and his chest, gritted his teeth, tried to keep his balance before he fell. He could hear his mother silently crying as she held him. Somehow, he found it hard to blame her. She had no idea about his double life as a high school student and as a Power Ranger; she had no idea how close he had come to actually dying today. There was no way she could know, unless she found out for herself.
"Mom, it's okay. Really."
"I'm sorry. I've been putting a lot of pressure on you. Ever since your father left –"
"Mom, that's got nothing to do with it, really. I – I wish I could tell you, I really do, but even I don't know where to begin. Look, it's not your fault."
"But – but I've been ignoring you. Ignoring your grief, your pain. All because I didn't want to believe that you were actually hurting."
He gently pushed his mother away from him. "Mom, I get it. Believe me, I do. I kind of know what you mean. But listen to me, I never blamed you for Dad leaving. I never blamed you for anything. We've got different ways of dealing with the pain. You've been trying to ignore it, and I've been trying to keep it bottled up. I know that sooner or later it's going to catch up to us, but when that happens, we can't let it keep us down. I know, I know, you'd tell me that my father still loves me, and maybe that's true, but right now, he's out of the picture. It's just you and me. So, Mom, if you don't mind, I'd like to get a shower, and then….And then, I need some sleep."
His mother lightly hugged him again. "Okay, sweetie. You know I love you, right?"
"I love you too, Mom," Jason said as he made his way to the stairs.
It took him twice as long as it usually did for him to get to his room – besides the fact that he was incredibly tired, he was also limping; he hadn't even noticed that his ankle had gone sore. Still, he managed to make it to his room and opened the window, looking down on the bushes.
"Twilight, Discord!" he called in a hushed whisper. "The coast is clear. Come on up."
Twilight and Discord slowly emerged from the bushes and flapped their way up to his window. They squeezed through. As soon as Discord had pulled his tail in, Jason closed the window and locked it. He sat down on his bed.
"Okay, from now on we need to be quiet. I don't want my mom to find you guys if we can avoid it." He reached into his dresser and took out a new set of clothes. "I'm going to get a shower, so please, try not to make so much noise. Actually – hey, Twilight, do you know any invisibility spells?"
"The only one I know lasts for maybe ten minutes," Twilight replied.
"Well, that sucks. Okay, if you hear someone coming, hide somewhere. The closet, under the bed, just as long as it's out of sight. I'll be done in the shower soon." He left the room and headed down the hall.
################################
Leann Scott sat at the kitchen table, holding her head in her hands. She felt so bad for her son. He had been going through so much since his father filed for divorce. That was nearly six years ago. She couldn't imagine the pain he'd kept bottled up inside, and lately, he'd been coming home with bruises that he couldn't explain and he'd been exhausted beyond belief.
She'd also noticed that his grades and attendance at school had been dropping, yet he was still able to lead his karate classes at the youth center.
Was it something she'd done? Was she to blame? She had no idea. Part of her wanted to pin the blame on herself – after all, she'd been granted full custody of Jason until his eighteenth birthday – which was nearly a year or so away – and she'd had to take an extra shift at the hospital just to make ends meet. Jason had been trying to help out when he could, but she didn't want him to. This wasn't his responsibility, even though he always tried to tell her that it was.
But that was just like Jason. He was always taking on some sort of responsibility that he didn't need to. He was always trying to do so much for someone so young. She wished that he wouldn't – he had to worry about his school, his karate class, spending time with his friends. It was bad enough he and his friends were part of so many charity events on top of their daily lives after school.
She rubbed her eyes with her hands. Maybe she was putting too much strain on herself; stressing herself out too much. After all, it wasn't her idea to break up the family. But then again, blaming Jonathan for what happened back then wouldn't help anything either. Though this wasn't exactly something that she could just let go.
I've got to get ready for work, she thought. She was working the morning shift today, and then she'd have to go back in later on for the night shift. That left no time to spend with her son. She'd spend the entire day sleeping, and by the time she'd wake up, Jason would probably be in bed again.
She stood up from the table and made her way upstairs. The door to Jason's room was shut – odd; he usually left it open – as was the bathroom door. She could hear the shower running.
"Jason, I'm going to work now."
"Okay, Mom. Have a good night."
"You too, honey. I love you."
"Love you too, Mom."
She turned to leave, but stopped. She was curious; why was his bedroom door shut? She trusted him enough to not go snooping without his permission, but her curiosity was winning her over. Slowly, she made her way over to the door and opened it a little bit.
Everything was just as it was before – the bed was neatly made, save for the crease where he had probably sat down for a minute; his punching bag was hanging from the ceiling; in the darkness, she could still make out his Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan posters.
Everything was as it should have been. She closed the door and headed back downstairs.
##################################
Jason finished drying himself off and getting dressed in a fresh set of clothes. It felt so good to be cleaned. He felt a little refreshed, less sore, and besides, he hated being dirty like that.
As he left the bathroom, he was worried that his mother had somehow discovered Twilight and Discord. He knew she probably hadn't – she didn't say anything about it – but the possibility was still there.
"Twilight? Discord?" he silently called. "Everything okay?"
"We're fine," Discord said. "Your mom didn't see us, if that's what you were going to ask next."
"Okay, good," Jason sighed. He shut the door behind him and made his way over to his bed.
"We heard your mother talking to you while you were cleaning up," Twilight said. "She seems like a very sweet lady."
"She is. But she has no idea about….Well, I think you know." He yawned and stretched. "Sorry, you guys. But I've got to get some sleep."
"Same here," Twilight said with a nod. "We can figure out how to help our friends later on."
Jason lay himself down on his bed and drifted off to sleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
#################################
Leann had to go to work soon, but she wanted to check up on Jason one last time. There was just something about the way he looked and the way he was talking earlier that was bothering her. It was like he was deliberately trying to avoid answering her questions, and the way he talked about how he got his wounds….Could it have been possible that he was lying?
Chances were that Jason had probably gone to sleep by now, but she still had to check. Slowly, she opened the door to his room.
He was lying on his bed, passed out, fast asleep. She saw his chest steadily rise and fall as he breathed. A smile spread across her face as she walked over to his bed; knelt down next to him; placed a hand on his chest.
"I can't begin to imagine what you're going through," she whispered. "I just want you to know that I'm here for you."
She wasn't sure what compelled her to start silently singing – maybe it was because she was thinking about the way she would sing to him when he was much younger – but a quiet melody began to escape from her mouth.
I see you lying here
But you're so far away
Crying out for help
You know that I know your pain
You're going through so much
But I know that I could be the one to hold you
Every single day
I find it hard to say
I could be yours alone
You will see someday
That all along the way
I was yours to hold
I was yours to hold
I see you walking by
Your hair always hiding your face
I know why you've been hurting
I wish I had some way to say
You're going through so much
Don't you know that I could be the one to hold you
Every single day
I find it hard to say
I could be yours alone
You will see someday
That all along the way
I was yours to hold
I was yours to hold
I'm stretching but you're just out of reach
You should know
I'm ready when you're ready for me
And I'm waiting for the right time
For the day I catch your eye
To let you know
That I'm yours to hold
Every single day
I find it hard to say
I could be yours alone
You will see someday
That all along the way
I was yours to hold
I was yours to hold
I'm stretching but you're just out of reach
I'm ready when you're ready for me
She gently kissed his forehead. "I've got to go, Jason. I'll see you when I get home. I love you." With that, she left.
#################################
Twilight let out the breath she'd been holding. When she and Discord heard someone coming up the stairs, they quickly hid where they could – Discord in the closet and Twilight under the bed. Jason' mother hadn't spotted either of them, thank Celestia. And then there was that song, that sweet tune that almost sounded like a lullaby. It reminded Twilight of when Celestia would sing to her when she was just a filly, starting her studies under the princess.
Slowly, she came out from under the bed, just as Discord opened up the closet door. "She gone?" he asked.
"Yeah, she's gone," Twilight said. "I really wish Jason would let us meet her. She seems so nice."
"Yeah, well, how do you think the lady'd react to a purple pony princess and a draconequus? Can you say panic?"
Twilight just glared at Discord, before turning away and yawning. "I'll see you when I wake up."
Though she wondered if she even could get any sleep. There was so much on her mind; she knew that Jason had so much on his mind too. It was amazing that he could sleep like that, despite being incredibly exhausted from the battle with Kronos, coupled with being awake for more than twenty-four hours with just a three hour nap in between. She knew he was worried about his friends. She knew he was worried about his mother. She knew he was worried about how to get Discord's powers back; how to fix everything that Kronos had done.
But that could wait. For now, Twilight lay on the floor, curling up and resting her head on her front hooves as she drifted off to sleep.