First, I want to say how sorry I am for taking so long in between these chapters! It was not my intention at all to leave you all on such a cliffhanger. Life has been hectic lately, and I'm trying my best to balance it all. I hope it was worth the wait, and I have a very long chapter ahead for you all. The much awaited break-up scene is here, but our story is not over yet. I am excited to take you on the rest of Ron and Hermione's journey. Thank you for sticking with me, and thank you to all of my loyal readers who have left reviews!
xoxo
Chapter 14
June 1999
The summer started off on a happy note for the four staying at number twelve Grimmauld Place. They moved in as soon as they came back from Hogwarts and started settling in. The each had barely a bedroom's worth of belongings, so it didn't take them long to get unpacked and start making it feel more like home. Then they got to work on giving the place another good clean, as it had been a few years since the last one. Harry said that he didn't care what stayed or went. He wanted it to feel like a home for all of them, not like a home of those who had lived there in the past. They got rid of some things and kept others, and by the time they were finished, the house was warm and welcoming; in stark contrast to its previous state.
Towards the end of June, Ron and Harry left for a couple of days to go to the Quidditch match that Hermione had given him tickets to for Christmas. The girls encouraged them to make a weekend out of it, so they were staying for a few nights to watch the game and see the sights of the city. While they were gone, Ginny and Hermione had some time to talk, just the two of them. They did some more cleaning of the house, went out into London for a bit of shopping, and cooked together in the evenings.
"Are you excited for your first Quidditch tryout? I know it'll be coming up here in the next couple of months." Hermione was sitting down next to Ginny as they started eating their dinner. It was the last night that Ron and Harry would be gone.
"Oh definitely," Ginny replied. "Although, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little nervous. I just have no idea what to expect."
"Well that's alright, because if it doesn't go well then you will know what to expect, and you'll do better on your next one." Hermione gave her a reassuring smile. She knew that Ginny would do great, but she could sense how nervous she was. It was very unlike the spitfire Ginny she knew so well.
"Yeah, that's true." Ginny brightened a little at Hermione's words, but talking about it seemed to make her more nervous, so she quickly changed the subject. "Hermione, have you decided what you're going to do now that we're back?"
"Not yet," Hermione said grimly. "But, Ron and I have decided that we are going to start by shadowing different departments at the Ministry. That way we might get a better feel for the path we want to choose. I sent an owl to Kingsley about it just last week, and he said he thought it was a great idea. So we'll basically be interns of sorts when we start with Harry in August."
"Hermione that's great! That sounds perfect, and I'm sure you'll decide on what you want to do in no time." Ginny was happy that her friend had a small sense of the direction she wanted to go in, even if she wasn't exactly sure of her path in life yet. She felt that they all had plenty of time, but she knew that Hermione would feel so much better when she did finally decide. She could tell that it had been bothering her for the better part of the last year.
"I'm just shocked Ron has changed his mind about being an Auror. He always seemed so set on it."
"Yes, I suppose it was a bit strange. But I do think it's good that he wants to keep his options open," Hermione replied. She hadn't told Ginny the main reason Ron was considering other careers, since it involved one of his biggest insecurities of being in Harry's shadow. Ginny just thought that Ron had become disinterested with the prospect of being an Auror, so she could see why it seemed rather odd to her.
"I think so too. And who knows, maybe he'll find that he'd rather be an Auror after all," Ginny added, almost hopefully. Hermione merely nodded at her remark.
The girls cleaned up their meal and sat in the living room for a bit afterwards, Ginny reading over the Quidditch tryout guidelines for the tenth time, and Hermione reading a book. When it got late, they said their goodnights and made their way upstairs to get ready for bed. Hermione couldn't help but think back to her and Ginny's conversation, and she wondered what exactly Ron would end up choosing as a career. She spent so much time thinking about her own lately that it hadn't really occurred to her that Ron was also grappling with his own choice. If she was being honest, the prospect of Ron choosing a career as an Auror had always made her apprehensive, but especially since they'd talked about the possibility of a family in the future. She would rather him choose something stable, with less danger involved. They could go to work every day and come home to each other every night, and it would be perfect; the life she had always dreamed of. She carried these thoughts with her as she drifted off to sleep.
•••
July 1999
Ron and Harry came into the living room late one afternoon to find Ginny and Hermione playing a game of chess. Both boys had grins on their faces as they approached the girls.
"What are you two up to?" Hermione asked, glancing up at them with raised eyebrows.
"We have a surprise for you," Ron replied, a grin still spread across his face.
"Be ready to go in ten minutes," Harry added.
Without a lot to go on, the girls exchanged surprised glances, but reluctantly abandoned their game and got ready to go. Ten minutes later they all gathered in the kitchen, joined hands, and disapparated.
They landed on a country hillside with a breathtaking view. There was a huge, sprawling tree not very far from where they were standing, and a waterfall cascading off of a cliff in the distance. The grass was lush and green, and the sun was still bright in the sky overhead. It was pleasantly warm for a midsummer day, and there was even a slight breeze. Hermione and Ginny looked at each other, and then all around them taking it in. Ron took Hermione's hand and smiled at her, grounding her back to the moment.
"Harry and I saw this hillside last month when we went out exploring after the Quidditch match. We thought it would make the perfect spot for a picnic!"
"It's absolutely gorgeous here Ron! What a splendid idea." Hermione gave his hand a squeeze, and then added more quietly so that only he could hear, "You know how I love picnics."
"How very thoughtful of you both," Ginny said as she stood on her toes to give Harry a kiss on his cheek. He blushed slightly and put his arm around her shoulders.
The group made their way towards the large tree and set up their picnic dinner. The boys had prepared a delicious spread of sandwiches, tarts, salad, and biscuits for dessert. They all ate contentedly, soaking in the last days they had of summer. Ginny opened her bag and took out a camera she had brought along. She started snapping pictures of everyone, even while they were eating. Hermione laughed and put her hand up to cover the camera as Ginny tried to snap one of her while she was taking a bite of a tart.
"Hey, I want to remember this!" Ginny said as she pushed Hermione's hand away.
"You want to remember me eating?" Hermione asked while laughing with her mouth full.
"Well no, maybe not specifically, but these last few days just the four of us before we become real adults." Ginny snapped another picture of Hermione laughing as she finished eating. "Take one of us will you?" Ginny passed the camera to Hermione and leaned back against Harry.
Hermione smiled as she took the picture for Ginny. She and Harry looked so happy together, and Hermione couldn't have thought of a better match for either of them. She passed the camera back to Ginny and leaned back against Ron. She sighed as she sank into his warmth. He was her calm and place of refuge, and she loved the way she felt when she was with him. She looked up at him and he smiled back down at her.
"I love you," Hermione said softly with a smile.
"I love you too," Ron replied kissing the top of her head.
Neither of them heard the click of the shutter as Ginny snapped a picture of their tender moment.
They all relaxed on the picnic blanket for some time. When the sun began to sink into the sky around them, Ron asked Ginny for her camera and jumped up to take a few shots of their surroundings. Harry and Ginny got up as well, and walked hand in hand towards the edge of the hilltop. Hermione stood up too, but remained under the tree. She stretched, and then leaned against the back of the tree, closing her eyes. She wished that she could always feel like she did in this moment: completely at peace. She opened her eyes and looked around, seeing her friends in each direction. Harry and Ginny were pointing at the waterfall, and Ron was still taking pictures. She pushed herself off of the tree and walked to join Ron. She was so quiet coming up behind him that he didn't realize she was there. She reached out and put a hand on his shoulder as she approached and he jumped.
"Merlin Hermione!" He turned to look at her as he laughed. "Almost gave me a heart attack!"
"I'm sorry," Hermione said as she laughed at his surprise. "I thought you heard me coming." She took the camera from his hands and snapped her own picture of the now setting sun.
"The view really is something, isn't it?" Hermione asked him as she looked over the hillside at the sunset.
"Yeah, it is," he replied.
But she didn't notice that he wasn't looking at the sun setting over the horizon. He was looking at her instead.
•••
Later that night, Hermione was lying in bed with Ron, her head on his chest. In the darkness he was stroking her hair absentmindedly. Hermione loved these tender moments. They had grown so comfortable with each other over the course of their friendship, and now relationship. She felt perfectly at ease. Ron was also thinking to himself how much he loved this feeling; Hermione so close to him. He loved the softness of her hair and the warmth of her embrace at the end of every day. Pulling him from his thoughts, Hermione's voice rang out in the silence.
"Thank you for today, Ron. It was wonderful."
"Of course, love," Ron replied planting a kiss in her hair. "We'll have to go back again sometime, maybe just the two of us."
"I would like that," Hermione said softly.
They were silent again for a few minutes. Ron was just about to surrender himself over to sleep, when Hermione spoke again, and even softer this time.
"Ron? Is there anything else that you're interested in apart from being an Auror?"
Ron, now no longer on the verge of sleep, was taken aback by her sudden question. He thought that when they had both decided to start by shadowing at the Ministry, that it would be enough to put Hermione at ease. But clearly she was just as anxious as she was last summer after Kingsley's visit, and perhaps even more so now that he was questioning his career choice as well.
"I'm…not really sure," Ron finally answered. "I figured that the shadowing would give me a better idea of what I'm good at."
"You're good at lots of things," Hermione mumbled. "But are you still considering becoming an Auror?"
Ron noted a hint of panic in Hermione's voice. It was subtle, but unmistakably there. He knew that an Auror was a dangerous career, and that she would be happy if he decided against it. But he was conflicted. Being an Auror was what he had always wanted to be. And he wasn't sure if that was just going to go away. Not wanting to be in Harry's shadow was a good reason to not pursue the path, but was it really enough of a reason? He hoped there might be another career choice that struck his fancy, but he just wasn't sure that there would be. Despite what Hermione may think about him, he didn't consider himself especially good at a lot of things.
He turned over all of these thoughts in his head trying to decide how to respond. He didn't want to worry Hermione even more than she already was. And the odds were that he would find something else he liked, something he might not even know existed yet.
"I don't really think I'm still considering the Auror department at this point. I think that I'll find something else I don't even know is out there yet." Ron hoped his response was enough to put Hermione at ease, at least for the night.
Hermione seemed to relax in his arms at his answer and leaned up to give him a kiss goodnight.
"Alright. I was just curious. Goodnight, Ron. Love you."
"Goodnight, love."
As Hermione fell asleep in his arms Ron found himself suddenly wide awake. He kept thinking about her question and how they would be starting at the Ministry soon. He knew the time would come where he'd have to make his choice and decide on a career. The prospect didn't fill him with as much unease as Hermione, because that wasn't who he was. Hermione was a planner and could get very obsessive when she didn't have the answer right away, as she had been for the better part of the past year. He considered himself to be more laid back; with the mindset that everything would work itself out in the end. But if this were true, then why was he the one lying awake, while Hermione was fast asleep?
•••
August 1999
The first morning that Harry, Ron, and Hermione were to start at the Ministry did not start out on the best of notes. Hermione and Ron woke up late, and Hermione was very panicked as she was getting ready. She snapped at Ron over breakfast when he pointed out that she was wearing two different shoes, and went upstairs to change them in a huff. Harry gave Ron a sympathetic look and then a small grin once Hermione was completely out of sight. Ginny was missing from the chaos of the morning, as she had left the previous afternoon for her first round of Quidditch tryouts. She would be at the tryouts for a few days, and then be notified if she made a team in the following months.
Ron and Harry ate their breakfast quickly while Hermione was upstairs changing, and they prepared to leave.
"Blimey Harry, she's so nervous for today even if she'd never admit it," Ron said while shaking his head and casting a worried glance at the stairs where Hermione had yet to reappear.
"Of course she is," Harry replied. "If she wasn't, she wouldn't very well be Hermione would she?"
At this, Ron smiled and nodded at Harry, knowing that he was right.
"Hermione!" Ron called up the stairs. "We'd better be going!"
But there was no reply. Ron bounded up the stairs to make sure everything was all right, but he found all the bedrooms and bathrooms empty.
"I think she's left!" he called down to Harry as he made his way back downstairs. "I thought we'd all be going in together, but I guess not," Ron added with a hint of annoyance in his voice.
"Well, she was in a right state all morning so perhaps it's best," Harry offered.
At this Ron simply shrugged, and the pair disapparated to the Ministry.
•••
After putting on a matching pair of shoes, Hermione decided to leave for the Ministry straight away. She was annoyed with Ron for some unknown reason and didn't feel like saying goodbye. Perhaps it was the fact that they'd woken up late, or the fact that he was the one to point out her shoe mishap, but she was already a bundle of nerves for the coming day and he wasn't helping. She disapparated from her bedroom, and found herself inside the atrium.
Once she was inside, she went straight up to Kingsley's office for her first assignment. When she got there, she noticed a few other people around her age as well, but no sign of Ron or Harry yet.
"Ah, Miss Granger! Good to see you." Kingsley greeted her warmly and stuck out his hand for her to shake.
"Hello Kingsley-I-I mean Minister," Hermione stumbled over her words, looking around nervously as she shook Kingsley's hand. Everyone in the room was staring at her.
"No need for such formalities, Miss Granger, I will always just be Kingsley to you," he replied with a smile.
Hermione smiled and stepped back to take her place among the other people along the wall of Kingsley's office.
"Now, I know we still have several people that we are waiting on, but I might as well send some of you on your way." Kingsley turned to address the room. "All of you here have expressed an interest in a career with the Ministry, but are unsure of the exact department you'd like to choose. We are here to help you with that." Kingsley's booming voice sounded even louder than usual. "As it turns out, there are quite a few bright, young people who are undecided on what their future career might be. Everyone you see around you will be joining you in shadowing various departments until you can make your choice."
Hermione looked around and saw that everyone there looked just as nervous as she was.
"Now, for your first assignments, you will be paired up, and shadow your given department for a week. First we have Aria Taylor and Hermione Granger, to be shadowing the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures." Kingsley stepped forward and handed both girls a packet of information.
Hermione stepped forward and took the packet, and then locked eyes with a girl a few people away who she presumed was Aria. She gave her a smile and they both headed towards the door together. As they exited Kingsley's office, Aria was the first to speak.
"Hi, I'm Aria as I'm sure you already know." She gave a small laugh as she spoke.
"I'm Hermione. Nice to meet you Aria." Hermione gave her a warm smile in return.
"You're Harry Potter's friend aren't you? I know I've seen your picture in the Daily Prophet. I can't believe all that you did...all that you went through. Everyone in there was staring at you. I'm sure they recognized you as well. I can't believe you're on a first name basis with the Minister of Magic!"
Hermione was a bit taken aback by her words. She hadn't really thought about the fact that she might be somewhat famous in the Wizarding World now. She smiled to herself wondering what Ron would think of it, since it was bound to affect him too. Aria seemed nice, but maybe a bit too cheerful for this early in the morning.
"Oh, yes…I am Harry's friend. We go way back to first year at Hogwarts. And it has definitely been a crazy past couple of years. Can't say I'm not glad to have it all behind me."
Hermione could tell that this was not the enthusiastic response Aria was looking for, but even so she seemed simply fascinated with Hermione and hung onto her every word as they continued to make small talk. As they headed towards their assigned department, Hermione deduced that she was a very nice girl, but a little nosy for her liking. She knew she would have to watch what she said.
"Are you and Harry, you know, dating?" Aria asked innocently as they stepped onto the lift.
The corners of Hermione's mouth started to curl into a smile. Harry really had a following of girls everywhere he went. "No, we're just friends. I'm actually dating another friend of ours, Ron Weasley. Perhaps you've seen him in the Prophet as well?" Hermione turned to Aria with her eyebrows raised.
"Oh yes…p-perhaps I have..." Aria trailed off as if she was trying to remember.
"And Harry is dating Ron's sister, Ginny," Hermione added quickly guessing what she was sure to be Aria's next question. The sad look from her that followed told her she had been right.
"Oh I see. Well if you meet any cute boys during our internship, be sure to send them my way!" Aria giggled and nudged Hermione on the arm.
"Sure thing," Hermione responded half-heartedly.
The girls arrived at their department and immediately went to work with a few witches and wizards who showed them what their days entailed. At the moment, they were looking into a few cases of people who were illegally smuggling magical creatures between countries. It was actually all very fascinating work, and for a moment, Hermione allowed herself to picture if she were to start working there, permanently. But by the end of the day, she was exhausted. Along with their other cases, a lot of the job seemed to consist of looking into instances of animals being mistreated. And for Hermione, that was just too depressing for her to ever consider a career there.
But nevertheless, she was enjoying herself. She felt a sense of purpose with starting to work, even if she was still figuring out what she really wanted to do. The people in the department were all so lively and happy to have interns there, and Aria had proved to be a good partner. At half past five, she and Aria said goodbye, and she set off to Floo back to Grimmauld Place.
•••
Ron and Harry made their way up to Kingsley's office the morning they arrived at the Ministry. Ron hoped that he would find Hermione there, but was sad to see that she'd already been sent out to her assigned department. Kingsley greeted them both warmly and gave Harry his instructions on how to get started with the Aurors. Harry gave Ron a wave goodbye and set off on his own. Ron was left in the office with several other people, and he was paired up with a girl named Mia to go and shadow the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes.
"Hi," Ron started as they made their way through the Ministry. "I'm Ron Weasley."
"Hi Ron! I'm Mia. I know who you are, of course how could anyone not? It's nice to meet you." Mia gave him a smile.
Ron smiled back, noting how exciting it was that people knew who he was just by his name alone. He wondered how Hermione was getting along, and if she was recognized so quickly as well. Him and Mia talked happily as they made their way to the department, swapping stories of what had brought each of them to become interns at the Ministry. When they made it, a rather severe looking wizard greeted them.
"I am Giles Hayworthy, head of the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes. You will be with me all week. I expect you to take diligent notes, and learn our procedures here quickly. We deal with serious matters in this department, so we do not tolerate any nonsense."
Ron couldn't believe his luck. The first day of his shadowing and he felt like he was a first year back at Hogwarts. Mr. Hayworthy was certainly not the kind of boss he ever wished to have. As Mr. Hayworthy turned and motioned for them to follow him, Ron gave Mia a look and made a face as though he smelled something unpleasant. Mia in return covered her mouth to stifle a laugh and also made a motion as though she was vomiting. Ron pretended to scratch his nose to hide his own laugh. Clearly, neither one of them were too happy to be working with Giles Hayworthy.
The rest of their day went about as they had expected it to after the first encounter. They sat in on a few meetings, and tried to take notes rather than fall asleep, but it was seriously boring. At the end of the day, neither one of them felt like they'd learned much of anything, but they were immensely glad to be leaving.
"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?" Mia said to Ron as they neared the lift. Her tone was almost despondent.
"I guess you will. I don't know how much more of that I can take!" Ron shook his head and rolled his eyes.
"I know. I never thought I'd find myself missing school!" Mia laughed. "But, I guess it's only a week."
"Yeah. Only a week," Ron repeated as if trying to convince himself that he would last.
They got off the elevator and parted ways, Ron spotting Harry near the entrance. He waved goodbye to Mia as she stepped into a Floo Fireplace.
"Mate, you won't believe the day I've had," Ron said as he approached Harry.
"You won't believe mine either!" Harry sounded much more enthusiastic than Ron, so he let him go first.
"The Auror department is…unreal," Harry started. "They're really in a sort of rebuilding phase right now, even still since the war. But everyone is so…cool. I don't know any other way to describe it. They all have this sense of purpose, and there are some really interesting assignments going on right now. Even with the war over there is still so much work to be done. For now I'm just shadowing different people and seeing what their days consist of. I'm not allowed in the field yet though. The next training session starts in September, and I'll be gone for three months. Then if I'm accepted, I'll be able to start taking on assignments right away."
Harry trailed off and Ron couldn't believe how opposite their experiences had been today. He was filled with a sort of envy for Harry that he'd found such a good fit so soon. Harry spoke again, jolting Ron from his thoughts.
"And Ron, I swear it would all be even better if you were there with me! You never really told me why you decided to look at other departments in the first place, but I really think you should come with me tomorrow and see if you like it. What could it hurt?"
They'd both started walking towards the Floo Fireplaces now and Ron pondered what Harry had just said. It occurred to him that if he couldn't even tell his best friend the reason why he told himself he didn't want to be an Auror anymore, that it was a pretty stupid reason to begin with. He knew he needed to get over the notion that he would forever remain in Harry's shadow. After all, Mia had known who he was. Other people probably did too. And Harry was his best friend. They should be starting their careers together. It was what he had always envisioned for himself.
"You know what, you're right," Ron said to a shocked Harry. "I'm coming with you tomorrow. After the day I've had, I can tell you for sure that there's no future for me in the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes. But do me a favor, don't tell Hermione just yet? I don't want her to think I'm rushing into anything."
"Sure mate, I'm just glad you're considering it."
Harry gave him a slap on the back, and they both Floo'd back to Grimmauld Place.
•••
When Harry and Ron returned home they both immediately turned towards the kitchen; there was a mouthwatering smell coming from that direction. They walked in to find Hermione cooking what looked to be a delicious dinner. She smiled as she saw them both and walked over to Ron. She immediately planted a kiss on his lips without missing a beat.
"I'm sorry about this morning! I was in a bad mood and I took it out on you. I really ended up having a great day, and I figured I'd make us all dinner as my way of apologizing." Hermione was still standing in front of Ron as she spoke, a kitchen knife in one of her hands.
Ron smiled and pulled her in for a hug, careful to miss the knife. "It's fine love. You didn't have to do all this!"
"But it does smell amazing," Harry called out, as he made his way out of the room and up the stairs to get ready for dinner.
"It definitely does," Ron agreed.
"I just figured we could all use a nice home cooked meal on our first night as gainfully employed adults," Hermione said with a smile as she went back to chopping potatoes. "How was your day?"
"It was…pretty good," Ron lied. "I'm working with this girl Mia. She's nice. We're in the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes right now."
"That sounds exciting!" Hermione replied.
Ron laughed internally thinking about how very unexciting it truly was. He couldn't bring himself to tell Hermione how bad his day really was. She seemed so happy and he didn't want to ruin it for her.
"What about you? How was your day?" Ron asked her, trying to change the subject.
"It was wonderful really! I'm in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. It was pretty interesting. I definitely don't see myself working there permanently, but I did learn a lot. I'm with a girl named Aria. She's nice too."
"That's great. I'm glad you like it so far." Ron was glad that Hermione was enjoying herself at the Ministry. He knew it was too much to ask for Hermione to find a niche of something she loved right away, but he had been secretly hoping it would be the case. If she found her passion then maybe she would be happy for him if he chose to be an Auror. But, maybe she would be happy for him either way. He just didn't want to tell her right now.
Harry came downstairs and told Hermione briefly about his day in the Auror department, but as promised, he didn't mention anything about Ron coming with him tomorrow. They all ate Hermione's delicious dinner and then talked some more until it became dark outside. They boys cleaned up, insisting that Hermione had already done enough for them, and she went upstairs to get ready for bed.
"You still don't want to tell her?" Harry asked quietly when he knew she was out of earshot.
"Not yet. Let's just see how tomorrow goes and then I will. Maybe there won't be anything to tell."
Harry raised his eyebrows at Ron as if silently saying that he knew Ron must know that wouldn't be the case. He and Ron were just too similar. If Harry enjoyed the Auror department, he knew Ron would as well. And it sounded to Harry that after Ron's day, he just was not cut out for a desk job. After they finished cleaning the two friends said goodnight and Ron slipped into his room to wait for Hermione, who was finishing up in the bathroom. He had never lied to her before, and it made him uneasy. Something inside him was telling him to just lay it all out on the table now and talk to her, that she would understand. But he pushed the feeling aside. He wastoo tired to talk to her about it tonight. What was the harm in waiting just one more day?
•••
The three friends woke up early on their second day of interning, and had a much smoother morning than the first. They arrived at the Ministry together and got on the lift that would take them to their departments. Hermione got off on her stop first, and turned to give Ron a quick kiss goodbye.
"Good luck today! See you tonight." And Hermione was off down a long hallway.
The lift continued and Harry was surprised when Ron moved to get off on the floor for the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes.
"I'm only going to tell Mia where I'm going. I don't want to leave her wondering why I left her alone with Hayworthy," Ron explained to Harry as he got off.
"Right, well just meet me upstairs when you're done."
Ron gave Harry a nod and set off to find Mia. Luckily, she hadn't gone in yet and was waiting for him outside the door.
"Hey Ron!" she greeted him brightly.
"Hey Mia, listen. I'm, uh, actually not going in today. I just wanted to let you know. I'm going up with Harry to shadow the Auror department."
"The Auror department? Oh wow, I'm jealous! Now my day just got a whole lot worse. At least I had you to make fun of old Hayworthy with."
Ron paused for a moment, and then spoke. "I suppose you could come with me if you liked?"
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, why not? Kingsley's a friend of ours so I'm sure he won't mind. You'd still be shadowing."
"Sounds good to me. I'd do just about anything to get out of this place," said Mia, jerking her head towards the office.
Ron quickly went inside and asked the receptionist to let Giles know that his interns had been reassigned. Mia giggled as he came out and then two took off at a run for the lift to the Auror department, as if they were scared Mr. Hayworthy was going to come chasing after them.
•••
Hermione came home that evening to find Ginny sitting on the sofa.
"Ginny! You're home early."
"Hey Hermione! Yeah, they let us go early. Said it was the best batch of new recruits they'd seen in awhile and we'd all know in a couple of months which teams want us. So now I don't have anything to do but wait."
Hermione could see the relief in Ginny's eyes. She could read between the lines that Ginny did very well. And now she could stop obsessing as she had been over the past few weeks, and even months since she'd decided to tryout.
"Well that's fantastic! I want to hear all about it."
The girls sat and talked for a while about Hermione's experience so far at the Ministry and Ginny's tryout. They would've barely noticed when Ron and Harry arrived, if not for the fact that the boys came in laughing and talking loudly.
"Sounds like they had a good day," Hermione said to Ginny smiling at the pair of them.
Harry, turning away from Ron, saw Ginny and immediately gathered her in a hug, asking her about the tryouts. As they both stood and started talking, Ron turned to Hermione.
"Let's go upstairs," he said with a smile, taking her hand.
Hermione followed him, unsure why he wanted to go upstairs, instead of asking his sister all about her Quidditch tryout. When they reached his bedroom, he closed the door.
"Hermione, I have something to tell you," Ron began, looking at her intently. His eyes were wide with eagerness.
Hermione walked over and sat down on the bed. Ron remained standing in front of her.
"Today, I shadowed the Auror department with Harry."
Hermione's own eyes widened at Ron's words. He had told her this morning that he'd be back in the department he shadowed yesterday. Had there been some kind of a switch? Or had he lied to her, intentionally?
Ron continued. "Hermione, it was amazing. Everything I've always imagined it would be. It was stupid of me to decide not to be an Auror so quickly. It's what I'm meant to be; I know it. It's the perfect fit for me, honestly. I'm definitely not meant to sit behind a desk. Shadowing the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes was a disaster. I've never been so bored in my life! But today I finally felt the sense of purpose that I've been searching for. All of the important assignments, the rigorous training, it's the perfect challenge. I've signed up for training with Harry and I leave in a few weeks."
Ron finally stopped talking and looked at Hermione. She hadn't said a word since he started talking. She was staring at what seemed to be the wall behind where he stood, instead of actually looking at him.
"So-so you lied to me?" she finally managed to squeak out.
"Well, no, I-I mean yes I suppose I did. But I didn't want to make a big deal out of it if it turned out to be nothing," Ron said defensively.
"That doesn't matter, Ron. We're supposed to be a couple, and you're supposed to tell me everything. Especially when it concerns a major life decision like your career!" Hermione stood at once from her spot on the bed. Ron could see the anger starting to come alive in her eyes.
"I'm sorry!" Ron said back, though his tone did not exactly convey much sorrow. "I'm still trying to figure it out on my own, so I didn't want to bring you into it until I was sure!"
"Oh, on your own? So that's how you make decisions now? Without even consulting me?"
Ron looked at Hermione trying to decide what to say next. Everything that he said seemed to make her even more upset. He had not foreseen this reaction. Sure, he thought she'd be upset at first, but then that she'd be happy for him and his decision. Before he could sort out what to say, Hermione spoke again.
"I just can't believe you're making this decision after what, two days? We were supposed to shadow different departments for a week at a time and then make our decision! And the last thing you told me was that you were questioning whether you even wanted to be an Auror! You practically said that it was completely off the table! Was that just another lie?" Hermione was raising her voice now as the anger built inside her.
"No! Hermione, I didn't know what I wanted to do. So what if I decided a bit earlier? I wasn't sure if I wanted to be an Auror, but now I am. I'm allowed to change my mind! I thought you'd be happy for me! Now I know what I want to do with my life, I really know, for absolute certain. That's more than you can say for yourself." As soon as the words came tumbling out of Ron's mouth, he knew he shouldn't have said them.
"Ron, how can you not see that it's the fact that you lied to me about what you were doing the past few days, and then didn't consult me at all before making this big decision? We've talked about a future together, and spending our lives with each other. How can that happen if you go off and make these decisions without me? Do I not even get a say?"
"You want to talk about big decisions? How about the fact that you decided to go back to Hogwarts without even consulting me?" Ron was staring daggers at Hermione now, just as upset as she was. Anger was building up inside of him that he hadn't even known was there.
"What? Ron, are you serious? I decided to go back to Hogwarts for me. You didn't have to come!"
"It's not like you left me much of a choice! I bloody well wasn't going to stay behind while the three of you went off without me! I could have been in a career this whole time, but I wasted another year at school, for you! You've held me back before, and I'm not going to let it happen again."
Hermione's mouth fell open at Ron's revelation. She knew he wasn't the most fond of school, but he'd never once told her that he had only gone back to Hogwarts for her.
"You shouldn't have gone back then! You should have stayed behind and done what you wanted to do and we could have come back together once I was finished with school. You can't blame me; I never held you back from anything Ron." Hermione trailed off, unsure of what to say. She couldn't believe they were having this fight. She so longed to be back downstairs on the sofa with Ginny, like she was a mere ten minutes ago.
Ron was pacing the room now and running his fingers through his hair. He didn't look at Hermione, but she continued to speak in a harsh tone.
"So what's changed? Why are you all of a sudden okay with living your life in Harry's shadow? That's what you said isn't it? That was your reason for not wanting to be an Auror anymore? Last time I checked Ron, Harry is still more famous than you." Hermione knew she had touched a nerve as soon as she spoke. Ron stopped pacing and looked at her, a mixture of hurt and venom in his eyes.
"Harry is supportive of my career choice! Which is more than I can say about you. And I'm not worried about being in anyone's shadow anymore, because I found something that I truly want to do, for me and no one else!"
Hermione barely even registered the words Ron was saying. She was so dumbfounded that they were even having this conversation to begin with. She decided to take a different approach.
"Ron, on top of everything else, an Auror is a dangerous job. Have you ever thought that it might not be the best career path for someone who wants to start a family? I thought even if for no other reason, you might at least think about that and entertain the idea of other careers." Hermione's voiced had softened a little, as she talked about the family they had once discussed only a few months ago. This, however, did nothing to soothe Ron's mood.
"Oh, an Auror is dangerous? Thanks Hermione, I had worked that part out for myself! It seems that since you don't have any idea what you want to do with your life, that you could just stay home with these hypothetical kids of ours!"
"What would make you think I'd want to do that? Just because I haven't found something yet doesn't mean I won't!" Hermione's voice quavered a little and she found herself on the verge of tears. Ron knew her so well. Better than anyone. And he knew exactly what to say to hurt her.
"Maybe, if you hadn't been so concerned with what everyone else was doing your whole life, and focused more on yourself, you wouldn't be in this predicament." Ron was yelling at her now, in a rage. He was so tired of her telling him what to do. It was his life. "Hermione Granger, the brightest witch of her age," he said in a mocking tone, "I mean, you know the answer to every other bloody question, but not what you want to do now that you've left Hogwarts. Kind of ironic don't you think?
It was the last straw. Hermione's tears broke loose and streamed down her cheeks. Of course she knew the irony. It was the irony that haunted her every day that she didn't decide on a career. And Ron knew that. In a now shaky voice, she finally replied.
"I did know what I wanted to do. I knew I wanted you, Ron. To be with you. For the rest of my life. And I thought the other pieces would just fall into place. We survived a war and we went back to school and everything was finally perfect. We were together. And you don't think it bothers me that I still don't know? My whole life I thought I had everything figured out, and it's killing me that I can't figure this out, Ron! I just thought you'd be there for me while I was still trying to. But I guess I was wrong."
Ron was staring at her, watching her tears fall. He couldn't believe that he'd gone as far as to make her cry; he couldn't believe the words that he had spoken so harshly. It was as if he was watching the scene before him unfold from outside his own body. It was killing him that he couldn't cross the room and wrap her in his arms. But it was too late for that. Too much had been said. He turned away from her and pretended to be interested in a paper on his desk.
"So you're going then?" Hermione said. "To Auror training? No discussion, you're just leaving? Not that I'm surprised. You've left me once before."
Ron felt as though she had slapped him. To bring up when he left in the war was low, even for Hermione, and even in the middle of a fight. Any remorse he was feeling melted away. He put the paper down and slowly turned to face her.
"Yes." He replied through gritted teeth. "Yes, Hermione, I'm going. I can't believe you'd try to stand in the way of my dreams."
"I never wanted to do that Ron," she squeaked out. "I just wish I was still a part of them."
Hermione didn't give him a chance to respond and turned towards the door as a fresh batch of tears flooded from her eyes. She found the doorknob and flew from the room, into her own bedroom that she had never actually slept in. she slammed the door behind her and leaned against it, sinking down into the floor. She sobbed into her hands, trying to get control of herself. She couldn't believe what had just happened. She couldn't believe the things Ron had said to her, or the things she had said to him, for that matter. All of their discussions from the past summer were just discarded, thrown out like they had never happened. Was it all a lie? All of their talk about family and forever? Had Ron ever meant any of it? Or was he just buying time to get out what he really wanted to say? She didn't have time to think about it much longer, when she heard Ron's door open from across the hall and loud voices coming from downstairs.
"What in the hell is going on up there?" came Ginny's voice. "Hermione? Hermione where are you?"
Hermione stood shakily knowing she'd have to go down and face them at some point. Why not just get it over with? She opened her door and walked briskly out into the hall and down the stairs. She saw Ron first, making his way over to Harry in the living room. He looked up when he saw her but quickly looked away. Ginny saw the tears in Hermione's eyes and ran to her, meeting her on the bottom step of the stairs.
"Hermione! What happened? Ron!" Ginny spun around and looked from her brother to her sobbing best friend. "What the bloody hell happened between you two?"
Hermione collapsed in Ginny's arms as she engulfed her in a hug. Ginny looked over Hermione's shoulder at Harry, as if asking him to get to the bottom of it. Harry looked from his two best friends to his girlfriend, unsure of what to say. Finally, Hermione looked up and regained her composure. When she spoke, her voice was not shaky any longer, but strong.
"It's over," she said looking over at Ron who wouldn't look her in the eye. "Ron and I. We're…done."
Ginny's eyes bulged as she looked over to her brother. Harry looked utterly bewildered as well.
"Yeah," Ron finally spoke. "We are." And with a loud crack, he disapparated.
Ginny begged Hermione to tell her what happened as soon as Ron left, but she immediately brushed her off and ran back upstairs. She stayed in her room for the rest of the night. She didn't eat anything and she didn't talk to anyone. Harry came to her door more than once trying to talk to her, but he was met with only silence. As darkness fell, she lay on her bed wide-awake. She was still awake at three in the morning when she heard the familiar crack in the room next to hers. Silent tears began to fall as she realized that she'd be spending the rest of her nights at Grimmauld Place alone.
•••
September 1999
Ron woke early on the morning that he and Harry were to leave for Auror training. They had to be at the Ministry bright and early, to catch whatever form of transportation they would be taking. Everything was kept secret, as part of the training itself. He didn't even know where they would be going. He went downstairs to find Harry grabbing a piece of toast. Ginny was at the counter with him making some breakfast. His sister had been rather cold towards him the last few weeks after his fight and break-up with Hermione. Neither Harry nor Ginny knew the full story, but he suspected that Hermione's tears the day of the fight had something to do with Ginny's coldness. But this morning, she pushed a plate of toast at him and gave him a small smile.
"I hope you both have a good time," she said passing Ron the butter.
"Thanks, Gin," Ron replied.
Harry stood and gave Ginny one last kiss before they had to leave.
"Oh, I'll miss you so much!" Ginny said to him as they embraced.
"Oi! I'm trying to eat here," Ron said through his mouthful of toast, but with a smile on his lips.
Ginny stuck her tongue out at him, but also gave him another smile. He was glad that she wasn't angry with him anymore.
"We better get going," Harry said slinging his backpack on. As he did, Hermione walked into the kitchen.
She was in her pajamas and her hair sat on top of her head in a messy bun. She yawned and wiped the sleep from her eyes as she made her way towards the teakettle.
"Bye, Hermione," Harry said as he made his way over to her.
"Goodbye Harry," Hermione turned and gave him a long hug. "Take care of yourself." Her face was expressionless as they broke apart.
"You too," Harry replied. And he hoped that she would. He hated seeing his best friend like this.
Ron watched Hermione and was overcome with the feeling of wanting to wrap her in a hug of his own. He was no longer angry with her, but instead so remorseful of his behavior and the things he had said. When he left after their argument, he ended up at the Leaky Cauldron. But rather than order a drink, he just sat at the bar for hours, watching the people around him. He'd felt numb, and the bartender finally had to tell him that he had to leave when it got to be closing time. After that, he'd wanted to apologize to Hermione but she hadn't given him a chance. She went to work, ate dinner on her way home, and went straight to her room without talking to anybody. This morning was the longest he'd been around her since their fight.
"Hermione?" Ron found himself starting to speak before he was even sure what he was going to say.
Harry immediately picked up on the situation, and Ron was grateful. He grabbed Ginny's hand and disapparated with her on the spot, presumably to the Ministry to wait for him. Hermione was so stunned by what happened that she didn't have a chance to flee upstairs. Instead she turned to look at Ron with a look of disgust on her face.
"Goodbye Ron," she responded to him and she turned to leave.
"Hermione! Wait. Please, I-I'm so sorry. For everything that I said. I can't leave like this. Hermione, I love you." Ron's words were fragments of everything he'd wanted to say, but he didn't have the time to.
"You're sorry? After everything that you said, and you're sorry? I bet you are Ron. You're probably sorry that you didn't say it all sooner."
Her words cut through him like a knife. But he didn't know what else to say. He had to go.
"No, Hermione. I really am. I shouldn't have said any of it. I was an idiot. But…I have to go. Please, write to me?" he looked at her, practically begging.
"Don't count on it," Hermione replied, and she disappeared up the stairs.
Ron was left speechless in the kitchen. He knew he deserved exactly what she had said, but it still hurt all the same. Without any more time to think about it or try to make things right, he disapparated to join Harry at the Ministry.
•••
Hermione got ready for her day after Ron and Harry left. She heard Ginny get back shortly after she went upstairs. Once she was finished getting ready, she went back downstairs for her tea, and then left for the Ministry. She was still interning with Aria, and they had shadowed two more departments since their first, and she still hadn't a clue of what she wanted to do. Her break-up with Ron just made things worse. She was less focused at work and felt less motivated than ever. Right now they were in the middle of cataloging articles for the Daily Prophet, their most boring task yet.
After lunch, Aria came back to join her and started in with her usual gossip.
"I just had lunch in the atrium with a guy I met last weekend. He works in the Law department. He's so cute, but gosh is he boring. You're so lucky you have a boyfriend. It's hard out there for us singletons." Aria sighed as she glanced at Hermione.
Hermione gave her a smile. "Oh, yeah," she replied. She hadn't told Aria about her and Ron's break-up. The last thing she needed was for Aria to ask if it was okay if she asked Ron out now that he was single.
"Anyway, I guess what he does can't be any more boring than this," Aria gestured to the files in front of them. "He was telling me this one story though, about after the war. He said that the old reporter, Rita Skeeter, came in to his office shortly after the Daily Prophet fired her. She was trying to sue them for wrongful termination. Kingsley had her fired because he said he was tired of her lies and he wouldn't have any of that now that things were finally at peace. Apparently she tried to cause some serious trouble though. The case ended up being dropped and she left. But man. I wonder if she'd stayed, we might know more about what really happened, you know? In the war I mean."
"Rita Skeeter was a horrible person. She spewed nothing but lies every time her quill touched her paper. I would know. She started writing about me my fourth year at Hogwarts." Hermione couldn't help but roll her eyes at the memory.
Aria's eyes widened. "No way! Well, that's crazy. I mean I know she was awful and all, but still. I'd have liked to hear at least something about the war that was just fought. And she seemed like the kind of person that would have written about it. I mean we all live in terror for years, and then Harry Potter kills You-Know-Who for the second time and no one has anything to say about it!" Aria shook her head as she went back to cataloging.
Hermione's breath caught in her throat. It was like a light finally clicked on in her head. She couldn't believe that it was brought on by Aria, and of all people, Rita Skeeter. She stood up at once.
"Um, I have to go," she mumbled as she turned to leave. "Thanks Aria!" she added over her shoulder as she was practically running to get to the door.
"You're welcome?" Aria was left with a pile of files, looking more confused than ever.
Hermione ran to the lift and then tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for it to let her off. When it dinged signaling her arrival, she flew off and only stopped when she reached the door to the Minister's office.
"Is he in?" she asked Kingsley's secretary.
"Yes, but-"
Hermione didn't wait for her to finish. She flew past her and knocked on Kingsley's door.
"Come in," said a deep voice.
Hermione entered, breathless.
"Miss Granger! To what do I owe the pleasure today?"
"Minister! I mean, Kingsley," Hermione started, still out of breath. "I know what I want to do. Here at the Ministry, I mean."
"Oh, do you? Well please, enlighten me."
"I want to write a book about the war."
Kingsley's eyes were round with shock at Hermione's words.
"I want to let people know what really happened. They deserve to know. But it needs to come from someone who will only tell the truth. And not the whole truth, mind you, some things are better left unsaid." Her mind drifted to the horcruxes. Yes, some things are definitely better kept secret, she thought. But then she continued. "But I was there, and I was in the thick of it. I know things that happened, and I know most of the people who were heavily involved. I figure I could conduct interviews, do a lot of research, travel if I have to, and make sure that it's a truthful account of what really happened. If anything, so that nothing like it ever happens again. I-"
Kingsley put up his hand to cut her off. This was it. He thought it was a terrible idea. Her face fell as she awaited his response.
"Miss Granger, I think that is an excellent idea," Kingsley said, a smile spreading on his face. "It's exactly the kind of thing I expected you to come up with. It's unlike anything I've ever heard of and it's perfect for you. I do have one suggestion, though. What about instead of a book, we make it a column? You can print as often as you'd like, you don't have to stick to a schedule. But that way, we get small stories along the way. We could even turn it into a book at the end I imagine."
Hermione couldn't believe her ears. Kingsley had taken an idea she'd had for all of the past ten minutes, and made it even better.
"I think that sounds wonderful, sir."
"Perfect. Well, I'd say your shadowing days are over. I'll send word over to the Daily Prophet and we'll get you an office in that department. But don't worry, you won't report to anyone over there. Consider yourself your own boss."
"Kingsley, I don't know what to say. Thank you," Hermione replied.
"Don't thank me. It was your idea, and you're doing the entire Wizarding World a great service."
Hermione was still on cloud nine as she exited Kingsley's office. She finally knew what she wanted to do with her life. She wanted to be a writer. And she knew that there would come a time when she would have told all the stories she could tell of the war, but then her options would be open, and the sky was the limit. She felt a peace she had never known. She felt a purpose that she hadn't felt since she found out she was a witch all those years ago. But amidst all of the joy, she also felt a sudden longing. A longing to tell the one person she couldn't about her sudden breakthrough. Her very best friend, who she happened to still be in love with. But he was gone, and she was still here. And she wasn't sure they'd ever be able to mend what was now broken.