Disclaimer : I do not own Fairy Tail nor do I profit from writing FanFiction.

Pairings : Natsu/Gray (main), LyoRay, NaLu, LoLu (so minor you won't even notice it)

Rating : M for sexual content.

Warnings : Yaoi, Shounen Ai, BL, whatever you call it. If you are triggered or disturbed by images of two guys kissing, I apologize and suggest you leave.

Natsu x Gray, established (and broken) relationship. Unbeta-ed. Multi-chaptered.

Chapter 13 - Closure

Lyon Vastia had always been a man of confidence. No matter when it came to his abilities, his strength or even his looks, he has never once experienced inferiority and neither has he ever felt insecure. He had never found reason to doubt himself.

That was who Lyon had been and who he continued to be. Truth be told, it was a quality that Gray admired in his elder disciple. Although if you look at it another way, Lyon was probably just your average arrogant bastard. He even prides himself on being able to, quote unquote, fully appreciate who he is.

"I'm not perfect, but face it. I'm pretty awesome."

The first time those words left Lyon's mouth, Gray had gaped at the pure audacity of the man before him and innocently wondered what it took for a person to have such unwavering loyalty to oneself. Like, how stuck up could you get?

Thinking back, a random thought was born amidst Gray's memories.

Was Gray a negative influence on Lyon?

Back then on Galuna Island, even when he was on his hands and knees, unable to so much as pull himself to his feet, Lyon had obnoxiously declared that he would defeat Deliora and surpass Ur, because he thought- no, he honestly believed so.

But that same overconfident Lyon, had had his pride torn down by none other than Gray himself.

"So... I'm not just a convenient substitute?"

Remembering the unsure expression that sure as hell didn't belong on Lyon's face made Gray's heart ache with an emotion he was still unable to name. Was it guilt? Sorrow? Or was it something more? He did not know.

Somewhat similar to Lyon, Gray liked Lyon the way he was. Gray had not been weaving a lie when he said that Lyon was his base and the only constant in his life.

He did not want to be the unpredictable factor that caused a disturbance in that overbearing yet somehow simultaneously comfortable presence.

Sometimes Gray wondered.

Was their relationship a mistake?

Would it have been better for Lyon if Gray didn't persist on tying him down?

I love him.

IlovehimIlovehimIlovehim.

Natsu rolled on the floor, hugging himself.

Holy shit, I can't get him out of my mind!

The thought that Gray and he were no longer an item still ached, but the pain had numbed down a bit. After nearly losing his life for Gray, it was as if the lights had been turned on after an eternity of darkness - everything was bright and clear as day, even a little blinding.

He understood.

He loved Gray with his all, but to force a relationship on the other was immoral.

It wasn't a necessity to be lovers (but he wanted to, damn he wanted to).

Near-death experiences are odd, magical things. Suddenly your views change, and in a way, you are reborn.

For the first time since the breakup, Natsu felt happy and free.

If Gray and Lyon are in love, then so be it. It was his own fault for not treasuring Gray when he had him.

He had missed out on his one and only shot.

Was he in remorse? Yes. Did he feel indignant? Yes. But was he going to be 'that clingy ex' who was unable to let go? No.

Perhaps to 'let go' was the wrong choice of words. What had Gray written in his letter again...?

I'm setting you free.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Lyon wrapped his arms around Gray's waist and made himself comfortable, his chin tucked nicely in the crook of Gray's neck.

"Oh, you know." Gray shrugged. "The usual. How I don't deserve you, how I'm weighing you down. Yada yada."

Lyon let out an exasperated sigh. "We've been over this, Gray."

The younger male sighed right back at him. "I can't help the guilt that eats away at my soul even now."

"Make it up for me then." Lyon flipped him over and in a flash, Gray was on his back, caged in by the larger figure of his lover. A steady flush of pink began spreading across his cheeks when Lyon leaned in to whisper hotly, "I can think of a few... Pleasurable ways."

"Calm your libido, you pervert." Gray avoided his gaze, his lips pursed in an almost-pout.

"Oh?" Lyon was smiling. "And who was the one who approached me for sex because he needed to 'do it every day'?"

Face as red as a tomato, Gray spluttered and kicked Lyon off the bed.

"That was ONE time-"

And so they laughed until they cried. And so they fell in a messy heap, one on top of the other. And so they made out. And so they made love.

Two males, two disciples, two childhood friends.

That night, nobody else existed but them.

Or so the innocent man believed.

In the wee hours, the rumored darkest time right before dawn, a teen tip-toed out of the door he shared with his most trusted, sparing no backward glance. Stealthily, he sneaked out of the house, his expression unreadable.

He walked at a brisk pace, halting only when he reached his destination. After a brief glance around him to ensure that he was truly alone, the black-haired teen sat down and drew his arms and legs together. A thin vibrating line began emerging from between his shoulder blades, but this was a Mage who did not shiver from the cold.

He struggled. Having held the emotions in for so long, he was convinced that once he was alone, the tears would flow naturally, because that was how it had always been. But no. He felt horrible and he wanted to cry, but his tear ducts stayed dry. Why?

He lowered and buried his head under his arms, the memory of what happened two hours before still fresh in his mind's eye.

"I love you... Hah... I love you." As Lyon thrust, he maintained eye contact. Panting, he smiled. "I love you, Gray."

I am a piece of shit, aren't I?

Lifting his head to stare at the dry earth before him, Gray wished that the lively and merry river from his childhood was still alive. He loved this place. After all, this was where he had bonded with the fire-breathing idiot for the first time.

Apparently Natsu didn't remember their first encounter all that well, though.

Natsu.

Why was it that this name was the beginning and end of everything?

Gray bit his lip. This was why he had left in the first place.

Natsu who had absurd Sakura-colored hair and a smile so bright it lit up the world and took Gray's breath away. Natsu was so freaking stupid, it made Gray want to punch something.

Dammit. Why can't I just let you go?

He had made a solemn promise to himself. Was his resolve that weak, for him to waver that easily? Shit.

I'm happy now. Lyon loves me. I'm sort of falling for him too. Fuck, it's already pressuring enough with Lyon acting like a goddamn saint who I in no way am worthy of. Why the hell can't I forget you? Why the hell can't I stop being in love with you?

I've been with Lyon for a while already. This isn't normal. Why? Why, darn it.

There was an admission Gray wasn't ready to make to himself. That the moment he saw the light in Natsu's eyes flicker and supposedly go off, his whole soul had been wrenched out and twisted into a mangled mess.

Gray had long since accepted that his love for Natsu would never disappear, or at the very least not without a vast amount of time. But for him to utterly lose it in front of everyone like that... It just...

It wasn't right.

They were over.

Left-over feelings should be swept into the dustbin or under the mattress.

Why?

Maybe... It was because their break-up hadn't been clean enough? That's right. Perhaps... No, that's definitely it.

I need closure.

Footsteps stopped in front of the figure huddled to himself, and a dark shadow was cast upon his face. When had morning come?

Hold on.

There it was. The annoying Sakura-colored hair.

Up on his feet quickly, what framed Gray's face was a look of determination.

He was going to get that closure, whether Natsu liked it or not.

Hi guys, and thank you for reading as always! Umm, I have a question for you guys. :3

I have received a suggestion to do alternate endings for this story, a LyoRay one and of course, a Natsu x Gray one. However, I have never done this before and have zero confidence. What do you guys think? Should I stick to one pairing, do alternate endings or write a sequel with a different pairing?

Just asking for opinions though, the ending of this story is still VERY far away ~

Do leave a review!

-Dreams.