If I Loved You Less

By DJ Clawson

Last time on our series, an emotional wounded Georgiana Bingley ran from a physically wounded Geoffrey Darcy by spending a year in a womens' school in France. There she learned trust herself, open up to other people, and that if you start killing people, it's going to just pile on itself.

Author's Note: So I'm going on vacation on Wednesday. Want me to try to get in another chapter before then?

Chapter 14 – The Legacy of Mrs. Bennet

Georgiana rose later than she was used to the next morning, still tired from everything that had occurred. The Darcys had all been warm to her, and she still heard the combined efforts of the three Darcy sisters and Eliza squealing at the idea of the wedding ringing in her ears. She sighed and rang for the maid, was dressed, and went to breakfast.

"You're getting married!" her mother said in a girlish squeal, pinched her cheek, and left the table as Georgiana entered.

"Is she going to be like this until the wedding?" she asked.

"Oh yes. She'll drive us both batty," Bingley said, sitting at the head of the table. "But you should have seen Mrs. Bennet. That was ... a bit terrifying." He sipped his coffee. "Very terrifying."

"Charles! Are you insulting my mother?" Jane called out from the other room.

"No, of course not," he shouted back in reply, and rolled his eyes at Georgie, who stifled a giggle and sat down. "Your Grandmother was at Netherfield practically every day I didn't call on Longbourn first," he said in a hushed voice, "suggesting things."

"To Aunt Townsend's house?"

"Yes. I used to live there – it was how I met your mother. We moved to Derbyshire to be closer to the Darcys – and further away from Mrs. Bennet."

"Charles! I can't hear you but I know you're saying something about my mother!"

Georgie covered her mouth as Jane Bingley entered the room with some indignation.

"I was relating our history at Netherfield Park," he said, "and telling Georgiana about Mrs. Bennet's extensive interest in it."

"That is true," Jane said. "But not in front of the children."

"There is only one here, and she's hardly a child," he said.

"I'm counting Monkey."

"He's a fully-grown monkey, darling."

"But he behaves like a child," Jane said, to which Monkey replied by banging on the table from his perch on the top of a chair.

"Monkey, quiet," Bingley said. "I'm in enough trouble as it is." He gestured for Jane to come over, and kissed her. "I love you. And I did love my mother-in-law, and her incredible concern for your comfort at Netherfield."

"I know you did. Hence why we're in Derbyshire," she said, but seemed to accept his apology and left the room again.

"Stop laughing," Bingley said to his daughter. "If you think this is not what married life is, you will soon be proven wrong. Or worse, the conversations do not end so gracefully with your husband admitting defeat."

"Is that the extent of your marital advice?"

"Sadly, I think it is," he said. "Geoffrey is to return to Cambridge as soon as he is well enough to travel, and I must go to London. You are not obliged to go with me."

She looked down. "I suppose I shouldn't ask about Cambridge."

"You cannot stay with the Maddoxes, no. Not that they haven't extended the offer, but Geoffrey cannot call on you. He is in school. Theoretically, doing schoolwork, though that may be mainly in theory." He added sympathetically. "Christmas is not so far away."

"Papa, it's November."

"So, two months. Less, really." He shrugged. "I would not take Darcy to task on this one. He is very decided – and so am I."

She nodded in understanding, and swallowed her coffee – and her pride.

Because Geoffrey was unable to call on Kirkland, Georgiana, her mother, and her Aunt Maddox made an appearance at Pemberley.

"Come to discuss redecorating the place, have you?" Mr. Bennet said when his granddaughter greeted him in his usual place in the library. "Or maybe your mother will comment on how expensive the furnishings must be."

"Papa!" Jane said.

"I thought that was what mothers did," he said with a wink. "Forgive my innocence on the subject."

"Don't say a word," Jane said to Caroline, who then closed her mouth.

Geoffrey made an appearance, escorted by a servant and looking a little dazed as he was settled into an armchair and everyone on the Bingley side gave their general comments for his good health, to which he nodded politely and looked very much like he was fighting sleep. Eventually they did close the glass doors again to give them privacy.

"They're acting so strange," Georgie said to him. "And so are you."

"Laudanum."

"Oh. You're still taking it?"

"'snice."

"You dopehead!"

He grinned. "I love you." He took her hand and kissed it.

"We'll be in trouble."

"When have you ever been afraid of being in trouble?" he said in a slurred voice.

She smiled. "True. When are they going to make you go back to Cambridge?"

"Soon." He frowned. "I suppose ... I have to finish the last two terms. Maybe after Christmas ... Mother said something about maybe you visiting Chesterton. I don't know." He squeezed her hand. "I'll write." He looked at his other hand, still in a sling. "I will have someone else write. It'll be awkward. I s'pose I shouldn' ask Frederick to do it. Normally he'd do anything for coin."

"I do not want a love letter written by Frederick Maddox, even if it is your words, thank you very much."

"Glad we agree on that," he said with a warm smile. "So are you well?"

"Yes."

"How is your father?"

She wrapped her fingers around his. His hand was warm. "He deserves to be mad at me. I told him everything."

"But he's not – He's Uncle Bingley. He doesn't get mad."

"He does get upset. And worried about me."

"I'll protect you."

"You? The man who can't even punch someone without breaking his hand? You're supposed to use your knuckles, not your fingers, dummy."

He laughed. "George said the same thing."

"You are truly affected."

"No," he said, clearing his throat. "Just happy. I missed you."

"I was gone for one night."

"You know what I mean."

She looked at their hands. "I missed you, too."

"I'm sorry – sorry for making you wait," he said. "To hear that I loved you."

"I understand."

"You do?"

"There's so much – everyone is so upset or excited or confused– " she stumbled, and he squeezed her hand. "I took it too lightly. Marriage."

"Why shouldn't you? You've never been married before. An' didn't it say in all those advice books to get married quickly and to a rich man?" he said. "An' my father was lecturing me about responsibility. He was nine and twenty when he married." He chuckled. "Maybe he was scared of it."

"Your father? Scared of anything?"

"He puts on a show," he said, "but he's – he's a normal person. When I was hurt, after the thing with Hatcher, and I woke up and I couldn't hear anything, I kept trying to pull this thing they had in my ear – I could see it. He was so terrified." He swallowed. "It was scary, seeing him like that. I wanted to tell him I would be all right, but I didn't know if I would. In addition I couldn't hear, so I didn't know if the words would come out right. I knew Mother would be upset but this was different. And when I was better, but still deaf, I had a lot of time to think, and I realized that parents could have emotions beyond just disapproval and reassurance. They were whole people who went through all of this trauma when we scraped our knees or got sick, but they always had to hide it." He shook his head. "They joke about Father and Anne going out, but he's so afraid of giving her up. He has to give his daughter away to some man he doesn't even know yet. What if it doesn't work? What if something bad happens? At least Uncle Bingley knows me. He knows I'll take care of you." He paused. "Did any of that make sense? I honestly have forgotten half of what I said."

"Everything did," she said. "You need to rest." He did look tired. She rose and kissed him on the cheek. "Promise me you won't leave for Cambridge without seeing me again."

He smiled. "Wouldn't dream of it."

On the other side of the glass door, Darcy crossed his arms and said, "He needs to go back to Cambridge. And cool his ... heels."

"You're positively cruel," Elizabeth said.

"If he's to finish Cambridge, they'll need a long engagement," Bingley said, sitting next to his wife on the settee. "Though it is cruel."

"No it isn't," Darcy defended.

"Name one day you didn't call on Longbourn during your engagement," Jane said.

"And arrangements in London do not count," Elizabeth chimed in.

Darcy frowned. "There was ... some day, I think Mr. Bennet was ill."

"And you were in Meryton, shopping all day," Bingley said to his wife. "That's right. We didn't call that day and you didn't come to Netherfield that day." He snickered. "Now I think we are being cruel."

"But practical," Darcy said with increasing indignation. "Besides, I feel soundly Geoffrey should wait until he's one and twenty."

Elizabeth glanced at her sister, then back at her husband. "Fair enough. Men do mature so much more slowly than women."

Darcy opened his mouth, but stopped himself before he openly agreed with her.

The engagement would not be formally announced until Geoffrey graduated, or a few months before, but there were rounds of letters to write to relatives, like Grégoire and Caitlin in Ireland, and Lord and Lady Kincaid in Scotland. Darcy did not pen them himself, as Elizabeth took greater pleasure in it, but he did watch on.

When Geoffrey came off the laudanum, it was decreed that he would spend the rest of his recovery at his college, as attendance was important to his graduation (it was practically the only thing of real importance to his graduation) and the best doctors were there, not in Derbyshire. In Elizabeth's eyes, he took the news very well.

The bigger surprise was that Georgiana said she wished to return to London with her father instead of staying in Derbyshire. She did not make her reasons public, but it wasn't questioned.

"I'll write," she said to Geoffrey as the carriage pulled up for him. "And you'll find someone respectable to write for you. And not Reynolds. I don't want his knowing stares."

"It depends on the content of my writing," he said, and kissed her. "I love you."

"I love you." She added, "December is only a month away."

He gave her a reassuring smile and was helped into the carriage, and then he was gone.

After many hugs from her mother and sister, Georgiana Bingley left the next day, joining her father on the long ride to Town.

"You're not to see Mr. Dartmouth," he said. "It won't go to trial."

"I know," she said. "I want to make sure you don't try to murder Uncle Brian and Nadi-sama."

"I'm within my right to do so."

"That said, I don't think you would be successful at it."

"You've no faith in me, then?"

"Papa, how long did you last when you fought the wushu master in China?"

He couldn't resist smiling. "We'll talk."

"I talked them into the things they did," she said.

"As persuasive as you think you are, that does not excuse them. They are capable of making their own decisions," he said. "Why do you really want to go to London?"

"I want to apologize to Mr. Xiao," she said, "for involving him in something that I should not have."

He nodded.

"And I suppose I'd like to say my goodbyes."

"Why?"

She looked at him.

"I'm mad about the secrecy," he said, "not the training."

"But you won't sanction it continuing."

"I wouldn't sanction my not being present when it happened," he said. "Ambassador or not, if he is going to beat my daughter, I should at least have some recourse."

"Fighting is not always about winning or losing, Papa."

"You say that because you've mostly won. I, on the other hand, hold a record of five seconds before being knocked over," he said with a wicked grin. "For the record."

"You're serious."

"Since you're so intent on continuing your hobbies, I think I might do better to at least be present to oversee them," he replied.

"Papa!" she squealed, and climbed across the carriage to embrace him.

"And here I was, thinking I would be hated forever for this long engagement business," he said.

"I could never hate you."

He could not express the extent of his relief in hearing her say that. "I would not want to be at the receiving end of your wrath anyway, father or not."

A day later, a very rattled and tired Geoffrey Darcy arrived in Cambridge. Mr. Reynolds, having been informed by the horseman riding ahead, was waiting for him at the entrance to Trinity College. "Good to see you, sir." And he did look relieved.

"I am engaged," he stammered in exhaustion. "To Miss Bingley."

"Congratulations, Master Geoffrey. Though, I would remark, the letters to Mr. Bingley and Mr. Maddox came yesterday."

"Good to know," he said, and entered the dormitory. He was only halfway properly into the sitting room when he doubled over from the unpleasant experience of being punched in the gut. It was not particularly hard, which was the only reason he didn't lose his stomach. He heard Frederick laughing in the background.

"That's for my sister," Charles Bingley the Third said.

"I gathered," Geoffrey said, as Reynolds helped him to his feet. To his surprise, Charles did as well.

"I'm sorry," he said. "Family honor demanded it."

Geoffrey decided not to comment on the competency of the punch and said instead, "I would have done the same for Anne."

"He was planning it since the letter arrived," Frederick said from the armchair. He raised his glass in Geoffrey's direction. "Congratulations on your engagement and your future marriage to a crazy woman."

" Frederick!"

Geoffrey raised his eyebrows at Charles. "Enough. You can't expect him not to say it." He said to Frederick, "Crazy but deadly. You would be wise to remember that on occasion."

"Have I ever done anything wisely?" Frederick replied. "Now sit down and have a drink. You are back at University and it's after one in the afternoon, so you've some obligation to get cup-shot."

"You're lucky George lives in the Fellow quarters," Charles said. "He was always going on about academic obligations."

"Yes, we've become more lackadaisical about them since he left our direct presence," Geoffrey said, taking a seat. It felt good to be seated. It felt terrific to be back.

...Next Chapter – The Princess's Revenge