.
.
Chapter Fourteen
.
Adrina laid listlessly in her bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. Her conversation with her father the day before continued to run through her mind. Adrina covered her face with her hands and sighed. She didn't know what to do and she knew she couldn't truly confide in anyone. This was a decision, Adrina knew, that would alter the course of her entire life. She knew she would need to make it soon and that she had to make it alone, though she longed for Shmi's level-headed advice.
It seemed as if she was divided evenly down the middle. One half was pulling her towards Kamino, while the other half was rooting her further into the Temple. She could do so much good at the Jedi Temple and she enjoyed living there. She could keep her promise and look after Anakin. But her father and other brother were on Kamino. Her family was split, just as she was.
Even if she remained on Coruscant, Adrina could keep in contact with her father and brother. They could still see each other, at least once or twice a year. Adrina knew she would only probably be seeing Anakin a few more times than that a year in the coming years, due to their respective positions. She would miss her brother's growing up years, or most of them, but, as her father had said, she was a grown woman. This was not an uncommon part of life.
Adrina swung her legs over the side of her bed and absently ran a brush through her loose black locks. She twisted her hair up into a bun and began to make her way to the Temple training facilities. She tried to clear her mind. She needed to have a clear head if she was going to learn properly. Adrina walked confidently into the training facilities. Adrina began the series of stretches her father had taught her all those years ago.
Adrina punched the instructions on the keypad, grabbed a helmet and a training lightsaber, and entered the small room. She briefly eyed the floating black machine before flipping the opaque visor down and igniting the green lightsaber. Adrina closed her eyes and cleared her mind. She focused on not being hit by the low-power energy bolts that were being shot at her person. On the whole, Adrina believed she did well. She was never hit directly, though she could certainly feel several bolts as they grazed various parts of her body. Adrina continued to dance around the room, sometimes barely managing to deflect the bolts.
Adrina frowned and flipped her visor up when she heard the familiar sound of the droid shutting down. She thumbed off the weapon and looked around the dimly lit room. She felt, rather than saw, the familiar presence of her unofficial Master. "I see you started without me." Vokara Che observed with amusement. Adrina's lips hitched up on one side, bowing slightly. "You did better." A full smile blossomed on Adrina's face.
"Thank you, Master Che." Adrina murmured humbly. The Twi'lek studied her pupil with a discerning eye.
"And how do you feel you are progressing?" Che probed. Adrina pondered the question for a few silent moments.
"I feel I am progressing well." Adrina stated finally. "I know I have a long way to go, but I feel I am doing well, overall." Che rewarded her with a rare full-blown smile and Adrina felt as if she had just passed an unspoken test.
"Come." Che said, beckoning with her left arm. "Let us train." Adrina smiled softly and followed the Chief Healer.
~e~e~e~e~e~e~e~
Adrina slid quietly into the rounded metal chair in the small break room attached to the Infirmary and she placed her lunch on the table in front of her. Che sat down across from her, studying her. Adrina carefully avoided making eye contact with her mentor. Adrina had been on edge since they left the training facility earlier that day and she had a pounding headache from all the stress and tension she was under.
"These last few days have been very stressful, have they not?" Che began conversationally. Adrina nodded slowly, the blood pounding through the veins in her head. She struggled to concentrate.
"Yes." Adrina's voice was low and barely audible. She listlessly twirled her spoon around in her dewback stew. There was silence for a moment.
"You are very distant today, Adrina." Che observed. Adrina made a small noise in the back of her throat in acknowledgment. "Is there something you wish to talk about?" Adrina gave a small negative shake of her head. "I see." Adrina glanced up.
"I have a bad headache." Adrina admitted. Che arched an eyebrow.
"I can tell." Che replied. "But I also know that is not the only thing that is bothering you." Adrina remained silent. Che put down her fork. "Adrina." The younger woman looked up. "I understand that you are under a large amount of stress, even though I know I do not know the cause of all of it. I also understand that you feel you cannot confide in anyone. I understand this. However, should you decide you need to tell someone, the door to my quarters is always open. I will always listen and help the best I can."
Adrina's heart ached. Che wore the same motherly expression that Shmi always had. Adrina knew that Che meant every word she had spoken. "It's...complicated." Adrina said after a moment.
"It always is." Che returned with a quiet laugh. "Finish your lunch, Adrina, and then return to your quarters." Che ordered gently. Adrina frowned and opened her mouth to protest. Che leveled her firm gave at her and Adrina shrunk back weakly. "You will do no good here in the state you are in. I want you to take care of yourself."
"Yes, Master Che." Adrina murmured. She managed to eat most of her soup before she slowly walked to her quarters, her hands massaging her temples.
Adrina keyed her door open and collapsed on her bed. She kicked off her shoes and curled into a ball. She closed her eyes and sighed. She sat up after a moment and blearily moved to sit on her meditation stool, folding her legs underneath her. Adrina exhaled, closed her eyes and focused on clearing her mind. Slowly, Adrina could feel the worry and weight on her mind ebb away. Her headache faded into a dull ache. A soft rumble sounded from Adrina's abdomen and she grimaced.
Adrina dutifully made her way to the dining hall, procured her meal and sat down at a randomly chosen table. She pushed her food around her plate, her left hand resting demurely in her lap. She released a soft sigh and dropped her fork with a metallic 'thunk'. "Are you feeling well?" Adrina's head snapped up when Obi-Wan took the seat across from her, gently setting down his own plate of food. He gazed at her with concerned eyes. Adrina convincingly forced a brilliant smile.
"Oh, I am quite well, I assure you." Adrina replied easily. She picked up her fork and choked down a bite of the tender meat. Obi-Wan studied her carefully, not quite convinced. "I've had a trying morning, that is all." Obi-Wan leaned back in his chair slightly and nodded slowly. He supposed he was lucky to have gleaned even that small bit of information. Adrina glanced around surreptitiously and she looked at him curiously. "Where's Ani?"
"He'll be coming down shortly." Obi-Wan assured. "He's in the Archives at the moment doing research." Adrina's lips hitched up.
"What else would one do in the Archives?" Adrina replied with an amused gleam in her eyes. Obi-Wan chuckled and spread his hands wide, palms up.
"Fair point." Obi-wan conceded. Adrina hid her grin as she ducked her head to take another bite of her food. With Obi-Wan sitting there, she felt obligated to eat. They fell into comfortable silence until Obi-Wan spoke up after a moment. "You seem stressed." Obi-Wan observed quietly. Adrina swallowed hard, but she gave no outward sign of being affected by Obi-Wan's observation.
"No more so than normal." Adrina denied in an even tone, glancing up. Obi-Wan nodded slowly. He had no reason to distrust her statement, but his gut told him that she was not being entirely truthful. "Tell me," Adrina began suddenly. "How have you been? I see you've survived this long." Obi-Wan chuckled. He decided to humor Adrina and not force her to expound on her discomfort.
"You were certainly right when you said your brother could be a handful." Obi-Wan responded with a small grin. Adrina rested her chin on her fist, still clasping her fork.
"Really?" Adrina replied with feigned surprise. "Well, that's certainly shocking." Obi-Wan chuckled and held his hands up defensively.
"I never doubted your word." Obi-Wan assured. Adrina laughed quietly and took a large bit of her Ahrisa. It was a little bit of home for her, as Shmi had often cooked it. It wasn't quite as good as Shmi's, but it was still tasty.
"I never said you did, now did I?" Adrina shot back, a teasing lilt in her voice. "I was only teasing." She did not know why, but she felt very relaxed around Obi-Wan. She found it odd, considering her limited contact with the Knight. It seemed he had the affect on everyone he met.
Obi-Wan's gaze turned solemn. "If you ever want someone to talk to, I will always listen." Obi-Wan promised softly. Adrina ducked her head and nodded. She nudged her food around briefly. She didn't know how to respond to Obi-Wan's kind vow. Obi-Wan understood and allowed her to keep her silence. He began eating his meal.
Obi-Wan instinctively knew that something grave was troubling Adrina, but he knew that she would never discuss it with him. He could tell that her heart and mind were carefully guarded and that she allowed very few into either. He wondered what exactly she had gone through that would cause her to be thus. Obi-Wan couldn't help but observe that the tension he could sense from Adrina did not lessen when Anakin bounded up. If anything, Obi-Wan noted with slight confusion, her tension increased.
Anakin babbled merrily throughout the meal, oblivious to Adrina's distraction. Obi-Wan watched her in conflicted silence. He wondered if he should consult Vokara Che. He trusted her advice and knew that she was in charge of Adrina. He knew that she could help Adrina, if she truly needed help. Obi-Wan wondered what Qui-Gon would do in this situation.
Obi-Wan continued to observe the pair, awed by the visible love and affection between the two. Neither made an attempt to hide their attachment. It was odd to Obi-Wan, who was unused to seeing a scene such as this. Of course, he had friends in the Temple, and the bond between Master and Apprentice was generally a solid one, but there was always an unspoken rule that it should appear to be a detached relationship. Obi-Wan remembered laughing and joking, even pulling pranks on fellow Temple dwellers, when he was younger. As he grew older, however, everything mellowed. In many ways, they had grown apart as they went down different paths. To see such unfiltered emotion, even when Adrina was not in the best frame of mind, was something Obi-Wan treasured.
"Anakin," Obi-Wan began after half an hour. "I think we should return to the training chambers." Anakin released a long-suffering sigh and Adrina could not suppress a smile. She nudged her brother playfully, her tension having eased.
"Oh, cheer up, Ani! You haven't been to the Infirmary yet, so you're doing well!" Adrina offered. Obi-Wan chuckled and Anakin sighed.
"Your sister is right." Obi-Wan agreed. "You are doing quite well. The Force is strong in you." Anakin managed a small smile before he stifled a yawn. Adrina glanced at Obi-Wan with a twinkle in her eyes.
"You two go have fun." Adrina said before a veiled look fell over her eyes. "I must go speak with Master Che." Adrina drew her brother into a quick hug before he dashed down the hall. She smiled and gave a short bow to Obi-Wan. "A pleasure, as always." Adrina murmured sincerely. Obi-Wan grinned.
"Until we meet again." Obi-Wan returned with genuine pleasure. He bowed and followed his apprentice.
~e~e~e~e~e~e~e~
Adrina took a deep breath and held her head high as she walked into Vokara Che's quarters. She blinked, her eyes adjusting to the dim lighting. Adrina looked around. The room was nearly identical to hers, though Che had included touches of her heritage. A bobble stood on her night stand and ornate tapestries hung from the walls.
"Adrina, welcome." Che greeted softly and warmly from her place on her meditation stool. "Come, sit." Adrina nodded and accepted the invitation. "Do you wish to talk?" Adrina tapped her foot, the sides bouncing off the back of her thigh and the stool.
"If your offer still stands." Adrina replied hesitantly. Che smiled gently.
"Of course." Adrina swallowed hard, searching for the right words to say. "I find that when I struggle for words, it helps to start at the beginning." Adrina was silent for a moment after Che had spoken.
"I have been presented with an opportunity, one that would take me off my current path." Adrina began carefully, her words slow and deliberate. "I wish to go, but I wish to stay, as well. Either choice will bring me both heartache and joy; I do not know what I should do." Che nodded slowly.
"And this choice – when must it be made?" Che inquired. Adrina licked her lips.
"By tomorrow night." Adrina explained softly, her voice thick. "I do not know what to do. My heart says to do both, which I cannot do, and my brain seems both frozen and frantic." Unbidden, tears welled in the back of her eyes. She spitefully forced them back. "I cannot tell you more than this. If fear I have said too much already."
"You have met someone – someone from your past; someone you care greatly about." Che deduced knowingly. Adrina blinked, taken aback. It was confirmation enough for Che. "I see." Che murmured. "I see your dilemma." Adrina grimaced. Che sat quietly for what seemed to be an eternity to Adrina.
"You are in a unique position, Adrina. You are bound by no oaths to remain at the Temple, as you know, but you would be missed. Does your brother know of this crossroads in your life?" Adrina shook her head.
"No. I did not wish to distract him. I know this would bring up thoughts and emotions that would hinder his training, which I know means the world to him. I do not wish to jeopardize his future." Adrina explained. Che smiled softly.
"Spoken like a true Jedi." Che stated approvingly. "Yet this adds a dimension you might not have considered. If you take this opportunity and leave the Temple, how would Anakin fare? Would that not also affect his thoughts and emotions, his future?" Adrina winced. Che was right; she had not fully considered that aspect.
"Adrina, you are right to consider the impact your decision will have on others, but you must be aware that you cannot make a decision in life that will not hurt another person. It is a part of life. You must choose what you think is right. Actively shape your destiny – do not let it be made for you. Whatever choice you make, you must be decisive."
Adrina bowed her head and contemplated Che's words. She knew Che was right. "Rina, your destiny lies elsewhere." Shmi's voice echoed in her mind. "You're meant to do something greater than cleaning air filters." Adrina took a trembling breath. "Trust your heart. This intelligent head of yours isn't always right."
Che felt determination roll off Adrina and knew she had made her choice. There was a confident set in her jaw and Che could tell that Adrina was sure in her decision. Adrina knew where she belonged. Her mother was correct. My destiny is here, in the Jedi Temple. Adrina murmured to herself mentally. Shmi told her to trust her heart, and she was. An image of her father flashed before her eyes and Adrina swallowed hard, but she set her jaw, determined. She would remain in the Temple and become the best healer she could be. It was where she belonged. Oh, but she would miss her father.
~e~e~e~e~e~e~e~
Adrina slipped out of the Jedi Temple that night, just after the sun had set. She hailed a cab and disembarked at Dex's Diner. She suspected this would become their meeting place. Adrina took a deep breath as she entered the establishment. She bypassed the human waitress and went straight back to the table where her father was sitting. He was already nursing a cup of Jawa Juice and Adrina noted that he had ordered one for her, as well.
Adrina slipped into the padded vivid red bench across from father after giving him a one-armed hug. She smiled broadly at Jango. "Fancy meeting you here." Adrina teased in Mando'a. Jango chuckled and smiled back. It was good to see her smile.
"I'm glad you made it here safely." Jango murmured in the same language. Adrina nodded and took a sip of her Ardees. "I'm going to miss you, Ka'rta." Adrina looked up at Jango, puzzled. Jango gestured to the empty spot beside her. "You came with no bags." Jango explained. Adrina nodded quickly and glanced down, fighting the tears that were already prickling in her eyes.
"Mom was right." Adrina began softly. "My destiny is here. I can't explain it, but I just know this is where I'm supposed to be." It felt as if her heart was being ripped out with every word she uttered. Jango reached out and took his daughter's hand, his eyes showing his understanding.
"I understand, Ka'rta." Jango replied sincerely. Adrina thought she might have seen a tear in his eyes. "I truly do." Adrina gave him a weak smile, tears welling in her own eyes. "I have something for you." He began rummaging in the bag at his side. Adrina frowned slightly, swallowing hard.
"You didn't have to get me anything." Adrina refuted, even though she was secretly pleased he had thought of her. Jango chuckled and glanced at her.
"You'll love it." Jango assured. Adrina sighed, but couldn't help the small smile that grew on her face.
"What is it?" Adrina inquired curiously, leaning forward and craning her neck slightly. Jango chuckled. He placed the object on the tabletop and watched in amusement as Adrina's eyes widened in awed wonder. "Is that what I think it is?" Adrina whispered reverently, gazing at the weapon with wide eyes. Jango grinned and nodded.
"Indeed it is." Jango affirmed with a chuckle. Adrina stared at him with wide eyes.
"Is it for me?" Adrina whispered. Jango laughed and shook his head.
"Unless you know of another equally beautiful and intelligent young woman around here." Jango replied deadpan. Adrina rolled her eyes, but she smiled. She slowly reached over and picked up the Verpine Shatter Gun. She skimmed her fingers over the slim, metallic silver weapon, gazing admiringly at it.
"It's beautiful." Adrina murmured lovingly. Jango observed her with satisfaction.
"Now I know you'll be safe." Jango stated firmly. Adrina laughed softly.
"Thank you, Buir." Adrina whispered, wiping a tear from her eye. She launched herself over the table, throwing her arms around Jango's neck. She slowly sat back down in her seat a minute later.
"Here," Jango held out what appeared to be folded leather. Adrina took it and gently unfolded it. A smile lit up her face.
"An ankle holster." Adrina murmured. It was a simple holster, brown and unadorned, just like Adrina preferred. Jango nodded.
"Made out of bantha hide. It is designed for maximum comfort, and won't move when you run. Easily concealable." Jango explained. He paused momentarily. "I don't think the Jedi would approve of you accepting weapons from a bounty hunter."
"Probably not." Adrina agreed with a soft laugh. "Thank you." Adrina said earnestly. Jango swallowed hard and beat back the tears that stung his eyes.
"I knew you would like them." Jango needlessly explained. Adrina beamed at him.
"I love them." Adrina corrected. She immediately shifted on the bench, swinging her legs onto the slick fabric, her back to the aisle. She pushed her skirt up and strapped the holster around her left ankle. She slowly flexed her left leg. Adrina nodded approvingly. "As always, you have impeccable taste." Jango laughed.
"I'm glad they meet your approval." Jango responded, very much amused. Adrina jumped up and gave her father another hug, burying her head in the crook of his neck.
"You must visit me as much as possible." Adrina murmured into his tanned neck. Jango made a noise of assent and she tightened her hold on him. "I'm going to miss you."
"You know I will never leave you." Jango murmured in response. "I will always be there for you."
"I know." Adrina whispered raggedly, tears beginning to fall down her cheeks. "I know. I won't ever forget."
"Would you like to contact Shmi?" Jango inquired after a comfortable pregnant pause. Adrina straightened and stared at him. She nodded eagerly.
"Of course!" Adrina exclaimed. She laughed and clapped her hands together once. "Oh, yes! When?" Jango chuckled.
"Tomorrow night, perhaps?" Jango suggested. "2100 hours?" Adrina thought for a moment, mentally reviewing her schedule. She nodded slowly.
"Yes, I think that will work." Adrina agreed. She beamed and slumped against her father. "Yes." Adrina glanced at her father. "Shall I contact you, or will you contact me?"
"It might be easier if you contacted the ship." Jango replied. Adrina nodded, sighing contentedly.
"It will be so nice to see her again." Adrina stated wistfully. "I do hope she is doing well."
"She is coping remarkably well." Jango assured softly. "Do not worry about Shmi." Adrina sighed.
"I can't help it." Adrina muttered. Jango chuckled.
"No," Jango agreed. "I don't suppose you can't." Adrina sighed dreamily.
"It was just one encounter." Adrina murmured to herself. "And it changed everything. Just one small encounter."
"Sometimes it is the smallest things that matter the most." Jango gently replied. Adrina nodded.
"Very true." Adrina murmured in agreement. "Very true."
~e~e~e~e~e~e~e~
Leaving the Temple the next night proved more difficult than other days, as Adrina was waylaid by Master Windu. At one point, she was convinced Windu knew she was up to something, but she thought, by the end of their conversation, that he was unawares of her activities. Still, she had managed to slip out of the temple doors. Adrina was even slowly becoming accustomed to the air-taxis.
Adrina walked into the large, chilled communication center and observed that all of the booths were taken. She supposed she shouldn't have been surprised, since Coruscant was so heavily populated. She walked the length of the center twice and eventually found a booth that did not have a long waiting line. Adrina sat under the bright light, neatly avoiding conversation with other patrons, for ten minutes before she quietly moved into the booth, shutting the door behind her. A cursory inspection of the booth revealed no hidden listening devices. Adrina silently entered the coordinates and waited for the computer to work its magic.
The black screen chimed as it dissolved into an image of her father and adopted mother. Her father flashed her a small, secret smile, but her mother had an expression of mixed pain and happiness. "Why have you called?" Shmi asked softly, her voice strained. Adrina frowned.
"I wanted to see you." Adrina explained hesitantly. "Are you not glad to see me?" Shmi's expression softened.
"Of course I am." Shmi chastened gently. "But you should not have called." Adrina blinked, and even Jango seemed surprised. "You need to let me go. You need to go on with your life." Adrina swallowed hard and opened her mouth to speak. "No." Shmi held up her hand and Adrina dutifully closed her mouth. "I know of the Jedi's views on attachments. I will not come between your training. The same for Anakin." Shmi wiped a tear away.
"I will always love you, Rina. Always. But this is not something I can be a part of." Shmi continued. "We will see each other again someday. Someday, even if it is when we have died." Shmi glanced at Jango. "I must commend you, though, on your skills." Shmi leaned forward and Adrina hastily wiped away her own tears. "I am glad you have found your father."
"But you don't want anything to do with me." Adrina finished softly, her eyes downcast.
"No!" Shmi exclaimed sharply. Adrina looked up pensively. "Of course, I want something to do with you. I love you. But you need to live your life, and so does Anakin. Do not tell him of this conversation." Shmi inhaled and exhaled raggedly. "My heart will be with you always." Adrina's heart broke.
"I don't understand." Adrina whispered. Shmi gave her a small, sad smile.
"One day," Shmi said. "One day you might." Adrina swallowed hard. Mothers do what's best for their children, no matter how painful it is, to either of them. Shmi's words weeks prior echoed.
"I love you, Mom." Adrina whispered raggedly.
"And I, you." Shmi returned softly. "I, you."
.
.