TOKYO DRIFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTT!

(Author tries to drift in Lucina's car, but crashes in to the wall.)

CRASH!

Ah crap...

Lucina: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!

(Author stares at her for a couple seconds, before replying.)

Box Profit.

My parants r so STUPED.(Me: Like Mother, like daughter.) Laurens birthdey is on Janary 26 and then Velantens Day is on Febrary 14. And my parants onely gave me $1000 for both togetter. I wanted $1000 4 EECH!([Spittake.] All: HOW DO YOU THINK MONEY WORKS?) I cant by pore pepole(Imagi: Why?) close 2 Lauren she desarves mor then that. Shes tuning 14 (isnt it cul that my BFF is a yer oldar than me?(Narrator: Not really.)) and shell be gong 2 hi scule next yare wile ill onley be in ate grad. Im afeared that Lauren well fine a new BFF in hi scule and forgat abot me.(Lucina: RUN LAUREN, WHILE YOU HAVE A CHANCE!)

CHAP 14-2: THE FURST HOARSEMAN

(Me: That sounds so stupid...)

I was gong 2 anotter doble dat 2 Chikfela with Lauren and Lunk and Uke. We wer waking 2 the restarant wen suddanly we turd arond and the ANTIRE BRETISH MILTRY WAS SNEKING UP BEHIND US.(Imagi: HOW THE F*** DOES AN ENTIRE ARMY SNEAK UP ON FOUR PEOPLE WHO ARE NEAR A RESTURANT?!) They wer all in ther red cots and marking in strate roes with there muskrats and they had drummar boys to kep them marcing in rithum. They had cum outta nowere.(Narrator: STOP DEFYING THE LAWS OF PHYSICS DAMMIT!) "Were gunna bloody kill u old chap" the genital in charg of the Britush miltary sed.(Lucina: Here we go with bulls***.) "no u aint" I sade. "yes we bloody r" the genital sad.(Me: Heh.) "no u aint" I sid. "YES TEHY BLOODY R U WANKARS!" sudanly I saw King Jorge the Thurd ranning up 2 us.(Imagi: That escalated quickly.) "Ono were undar ateck!" I sed.(Lucina: Nah, the army was there for decoration.) Likn and Iek drewed there sords and Lauren and Me got in a fitting posse. "BLOODY KILL THAM" Kin Jorge said.(Narrator: PLEASE.) "bloody ok" sade the genital and son like a millan muskats wer ponted at us.(Me: Alas, you'll probably just pull some Matrix bulls***.) We startad fitting the Bretosh Milatry lukly it taks a reel lon tim 2 relode a muskrat so we cold like stab them and punk them and stuff wile they wer buzy dong that.(Imagi: Isn't that what they made bayonets for?) We mangered 2 beet alota them by dong that. Howevar their were 2 many of them. Sun it was clare that we were defeet. The Bratish luned us up in a row so they cold kil us by faring skwad.(Me: YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!) "bloody 3... bloody 2... bloody 1..." the genital sed. We tred 2 dog the bullats and Lauren and Ike mangaged 2 but I trepped and falled don so Link shelled me frum the muskat ballots. He was shat like a bajillian tims.(Lucina: Oh f*** no. [Ring ring ring!] Me: Hello? Link: WHAT THE F***?! Me: [Hangs up.]) "I luv u Sara" Link sed.(Imagi: We hate you Sara.) "I luv u 2 Link becuz ur a guy and im strate"(Me: AND THAT'S IT?! WHAT THE F***.) I repled. And than Link ded. I was vary upsat abot this becuz he was my bofrend and I was vary attrected 2 him.(Narrator: She doesn't even cry. She's upset. You b****.) "ILL KILL U ALL THE BRITASH MILATRY!" I sade.(Imagi: No you won't.) "no u bloody wont" King Jorge said.(Imagi: See?) Than I stareted ranning firs and bronystone from hevan on the Britash Miltry. "I say!" they solders sad as they were crashed or burst into flem.(Narrator: Yes yes, very good old bean!) "No now im bloody ded agen" King Jorge the Turd sad as I kelled him "but u wont stap the othar bloody 3 hoarsemans!"(Me: Now that I think about it, I wonder what Great Britian's reaction was?) Once King Jorge was ded the British didnt have 2 fit us anemore.(Imagi: WHY THE F*** NOT?!) "Your r bloody hero u wanker" they sed "bloody thank u Sara"(Lucina: Um, did I miss something?) But I was stil sade abot Link been ded now. "Were all bloody sorry abot killing Link" the Britush genital sad "well halp u with the blody funarel."(Narrator: Sure didn't seem that way when you shot him with, and I quote, "A bajillian tims.") So the Britash Militry came bak 2 the Manshan with us so that they cold help with Links funarel wich was the naxt day. It was a vary sad day and wen it was don the Britesh Miltary left 2 return 2 Enguld becuz they neded 2 elect a new king agen.([Knock knock.] Me: Oh f***. Link: LET ME THE F*** IN BEFORE I BLOW THE PLACE UP. Me: WENDELL, ATTACK! Wendell: Do I look like a German Shepard?)

I was still scurred frum ranning into King Jorge on the wey 2 Chikfela so that day me and Lauren and Ike and Clod (my new bofrend becuz Link was ded and Marth was stil gay) ordared piza delivary from Popa Jans (they hat Obamacar so there a gud plaec 2 eet 2) insted.(Me: Never had Papa John's. Though I question anyplace that serves you.)

Link: F***ING LET ME IN ALREADY.

Narrator: No.

We may be here a while. But remeber, in two chapters, you, as any movie monster you want to be, can kill Sara.

Link: THAT'S IT.

Imagi: HE'S PULLING OUT HIS BOMBS!

Lucina: We're f***ed.