Authors Note: I'm sure many of you are aware of the events of the past week. Normally I wouldn't comment on something like that but it has had an immediate effect on this story. Finn was supposed to start being a bit of an asshole in this chapter which would lead up to events later on in the story but at the moment writing is hard enough, there was a point where I thought I might just skip this week, so writing about Finn in a negative sense just isn't going to happen. I have come up with a solution that will allow the later events to occur without using Finn, but that can't start until a few chapters time so I hope you'll forgive me if the following chapter or two feel a little disjointed or rushed.
I would note that I don't know much about how American medical insurance or banking works, so please forgive any errors.
I really can't think of anything more to say right now so here's the next chapter.
"What?"
It had taken a whole ten seconds before Rachel had said anything, a whole ten seconds where every bad reaction Rachel might have had paraded through Santana's head, each scenario worse than the one before it, and Rachel's one word response hadn't helped.
"I want you to live here with me" Santana repeats trying to control her nerves, "If you want to I mean." She adds quickly, "It's your choice obviously, but I'd like to be closer to you, save all that driving around when you're having a craving, not that it's a problem, I like helping you and… And I'm going to shut up now." Santana was kicking herself for ending up rambling like a fool.
"That might be wise." Rachel says with a raised eyebrow.
The diva turns to survey the room again this time seeing a room that could be hers instead of one belonging to a stranger. She can see herself sitting in the rocking chair feeding their child, sitting on the big pillows with Santana encouraging their boy or girl to first crawl then take their first steps back and forth between them. The empty photo frames fill with pictures of the pair of them, maybe even one where her belly was all big and round from the child within. All within her grasp…
"How could we even afford this?" the diva asks.
"How about we finish the tour and then we can talk about the details?"
Rachel nods and Santana opens the door and steps out into the hall, quickly followed by Rachel. They hallway has a surprising number of doors leading off it leaving Rachel to wonder if the house was even larger than it looked. Santana had crossed to one of the doors and opened it, allowing Rachel to look inside.
"This is the main bathroom, though the two largest bedrooms have en-suites." She says.
Another door reveals an office with two expensive looking desks and chairs pushed up against opposite walls. Santana suggest the room could be converted back to a bedroom if necessary. There are a couple of large closets and an access to the loft which hasn't been converted into a room rather surprisingly. Another door opens to a guest bedroom, another to a bedroom Santana describes as hers and Rachel isn't sure why that makes her feel a little sad.
"And this would be your room, since its right next to the nursery."
It's a large bedroom, larger than the one Rachel has right now, and indeed there is an en-suite. There's also a large walking closet and all the usual furniture you'd expect in a bedroom including a bed that, while not quite as large as the one they had shared at the hotel, was larger than her current bed.
"You can bring your own furniture if you want." Santana offers, "And we can decorate too if you'd like to. My parents had this place redecorated with the intent to let it out but they never quite got round to it, so it looks a little like a hotel I guess."
Rachel only nods, she actually kind of likes the decoration but it is a little stark. She thinks that maybe once someone is actually using the room it'll look pretty nice. She wonders for a moment if Santana would share with her if she accepted the offer rather than have her own bedroom but then pushes that thought to the back of her mind, leaving that as one of the details to address when she makes her mind up.
Santana leads them downstairs and shows Rachel the living room, dining room, laundry room, kitchen and sun room. All are very spacious and, well, clean. But there is no real life in the house at the moment, there could be, there are photo frames everywhere, empty shelves for knickknacks, books and trophies, but right now it's too empty, too sterile to feel like a home.
There's a pool in the large back garden and a hot tub and barbecue on the back porch. They head downstairs to the basement and Rachel realizes there is some sort of construction going on. The room has been set up as some sort of recreation area, there are various game tables all crammed over to one side of the room plus a large TV, love seats and sofa scattered about. But there is the framework of a new wall splitting the room into two.
"I didn't think it would be a good idea to soundproof your bedroom so I'm having half of the basement soundproofed for you to practice in, or put on performances or maybe we could put a mini recording studio in it." Santana offers.
Rachel is a little overwhelmed by all this. Santana has obviously put a lot of thought and, worryingly, money into this idea and as much as she'd like to say yes, she's just not sure she's ready for something as serious as moving in with her just-girlfriend. She does not miss the irony that she's worried about moving with the girl when she's already having a baby with her.
Shortly they find themselves collapsed into one of the overstuffed sofas in the living room sipping water from bottles that Santana has retrieved from the fridge, thankfully the house keeper had stocked up as the Latina had asked. They sit there for a while before Santana finally breaks the silence.
"So, what do you think?" she asks.
"I don't know where to start." Rachel says honestly, "Where did this house come from? How do you expect us to be able to afford to live here? You've already spent so much on the nursery and basement… I haven't even decided if I'm keeping the baby yet so it's all a little overwhelming."
Santana nods, "Okay first I'm not going to force you to move in, I'm not even going to ask you to make a decision right now if you're not ready to. I want you to be comfortable here if you do decide to move in and me pushing for that isn't going to help. Just remember that it's here if you want it." Santana waits until Rachel nods then continues, "As for where the house came from, it was my Aunts. Or at least it was one of my Aunts houses. She didn't have any children of her own so when she died a few years ago she left me everything including this place."
"So it's yours anyway? I thought you said it was going to be rented out?" Rachel asks.
"Until recently everything my Aunt left me was locked up in a trust fund until I graduated collage. My Papi was the Trustee so was responsible for managing the fund including doing things like letting out properties."
"Until recently?" Rachel asks.
"There were some conditions that would release the trust to me, like graduating for example. But there was also the option for the Trustee to release the trust early if there was sufficient reason."
"Like you getting someone pregnant."
"Like having a child and girlfriend to support." Santana agrees.
"And you're proposing to use your trust fund to pay for us living in this house? Shouldn't you be using that to pay for college or something?"
"There's plenty of money to do both Rach and so much more. The fund was released so I could provide for you and the baby and I intend to do exactly that whether you decide to live in this house or not." Santana sighs, "And on that note I have something else for you."
Santana reaches into her purse and pulls out a card and passes it to Rachel who looks at it curiously.
"A debit card?" the diva asks and receives a nod from Santana, "In the name of Rachel Barbra Berry-Lopez?" she says a little incredulously, her head snapping up to look accusingly at Santana.
Santana at least had the decency to look embarrassed, "Um, you can blame the bank manager for that bit, it was the only way I could get you a card attached to my account."
"I'm not taking your money Santana." Rachel tries to hand the card back, but Santana refuses to take it. When the diva puts the card down on the coffee table, Santana retrieves it and thrusts it into Rachel's hand once more.
"I'm not taking no for an answer Rach, I will provide for my child, you promised me I could be involved and money part of that." She retrieves the card that Rachel has almost thrown back at her and holds it out again, "For god's sake Rachel, take the damn card."
"No! I don't need your money Santana." Rachel jumps up and heads for the door, but Santana reaches out and grabs her hand stopping her progress.
"Let me do this Rachel, I want to help you and your fathers out. How many times do I have to tell you I want to provide for my child?! And that includes looking after you too." When Rachel stubbornly continues not to meet Santana's eyes the Latina continues, "How much of your medical bills will your insurance cover Rachel?"
Rachel literally feels herself deflate, "It won't cover anything" she admits, "My Dad's didn't think that option would be necessary." She raises her head to look Santana in the eye, "But we'll be okay, we'll find the money."
"You shouldn't have to find the money Rach, you don't have to. There's the money right there, no worrying about how to make ends meet, no counting pennies to pay bills." Santana said holding out the card again, "Let me help you baby, I don't want to see you worrying and struggling when the answer is right here."
"That's your money." Rachel says stubbornly.
"It was my Aunt's money and as far as I'm concerned it's our money. I'm responsible for this pregnancy as much as you. Let me help you. Please…"
Rachel looks at Santana for a long moment and wonders if she's been taking pouting lessons from Brittany because right then she can't find it in her heart to argue with the Latina and instead nods a small nod. Santana sighs with relief and passes her the card along with the envelope that contains the PIN code, both of which Rachel puts into her purse.
"And it's not just for medical bills Rach. If you need supplements or vitamins, new clothes, a tank of gas, anything you need to buy, I expect you to use that card for it. Understand?"
"I'll use it for anything related to the baby…"
"Use it for anything." Santana interrupts, "I mean it, anything. Okay?"
Rachel nods though not really intending to use the card for anything more than the absolutely necessary, then looks a little pensive, "How will I know if I'm spending too much?"
Santana grins as she drops back onto the sofa, pulling Rachel into her lap, "Trust me, you won't be able to."
Rachel buries her head into the crook of Santana's neck, wrapping her arms around the other girl, "Thank you" she says in a small voice.
"No" Santana says, "Thank you."
After a while Rachel sits up, "I should head home." She says as she stands.
"I'll drive you" Santana immediately offers.
"It's okay Santana, it's just a couple of blocks and I could do with the fresh air."
"You'll let me know what you decide?" Santana asks, "About moving in I mean."
"I will" Rachel confirms, "Will you be staying here from now on?"
Santana seems to consider this for a moment, her eyes darting around the large room, "No, I don't think so. Not unless you decide to move in."
Rachel wasn't entirely sure why she had decided to walk rather than take Santana's offer of a ride, part of it may be the fact she was aware that in a few months she probably won't be able to walk long distances, comfortably at least. But she had just needed to get away for a while, everything that Santana had done for her and the baby was just too overwhelming and even the large living room they had been sitting in had started to feel claustrophobic.
She had spent literally no time considering the adoption issue, in fact when she actually thought about it she realizes that she had been deliberately avoiding the topic. And yet here was Santana, so confident of what she wanted that she was willing to spend money on modifications to a house she was willing to walk away from if Rachel decides not to keep the baby.
And the nursery, it was so perfect, everything she had ever wished she could give her child. They couldn't have a nursery like that at home, there just wasn't room unless her fathers gave up their office and even if they did that, which they had offered to do, where would all their stuff go? No, Rachel would have to make do with her own room which, while not exactly small, would be crowded by the addition of a crib and somewhere to change the child, never mind all the rest of the furniture, toys and books that Santana had already bought.
It didn't even occur to Rachel at this point that she was already thinking as if she'd decided to keep the child.
So on one hand she'd love to have the space and the nursery that Santana's house offered but there was something that was holding her back, she wasn't sure what but when Santana had asked her to move in she just couldn't say yes no matter how attractive the offer had been. She knew Santana would never pressure her into moving in and the Latina had made sure she understood that the offer still stood and at least she hadn't said no, but every time she thought about it all Rachel felt was confused.
And then there was the issue of money. She'd taken the debit card because she didn't want to argue with Santana, that hurt just too much and she was already worried she'd hurt the other girl by not agreeing to move in, but she just wasn't comfortable with taking the other girl's money. There must be so much more she could do with it, her education for example, and while Rachel appreciated that Santana wanted to provide for her child, she was worried that the Latina was risking her future by spending so much of her trust fund.
Rachel glances up and finds that she's walked all the way home and can't even remember doing it. Since it is still early afternoon her Dads will still be at work so it is only her own car that is sitting in the drive and the empty building just doesn't appeal to her right now, she has so much spinning around in her head that she wouldn't even be able to concentrate on singing. So she climbs into her car and drives off in a random direction with no particular destination in mind.
She finds herself at the mall and ends up wandering around window shopping for all the outfits she probably wouldn't be able to wear in a few months. She doesn't intend to end up in front of the ATM machines but that is exactly where she found herself and after a moment's hesitation she slips the black debit card into one of the slots. She finds the envelope with the PIN number and types it in then asks for a balance. She blinks at surprise at the screen then presses the card return and steps to the next machine, that one must be faulty.
She repeats the process on the second ATM and is again surprised by the result. When a third and then fourth machine returns the same answer she wonders if there is something wrong with the network they were connected to. There is a branch of the bank at the other end of the mall so Rachel turns to walk in that direction. The ATM's had been quiet but the bank branch had a queue almost all the way out of the door but Rachel wasn't in a hurry so joins the end of the queue and waits patiently.
When she finally reaches the front of the queue she swipes the card through the counter mounted card read and asks the teller for a balance. She's rather surprised when the teller asks her to take a seat and tells her someone would be out to help her in a moment, had Santana forgotten to tell her she wasn't supposed to use the card in the bank branch? Was she going to get into trouble because of the fake name on the card? She sits wondering what was going on until she sees the branch manage, an old friend of her parents, walking towards her.
"Good afternoon Miss Berry, would you come with me please?"
He leads her to one of the private customer rooms they have in the branch and asks her to sit while he takes the chair behind the desk.
"So, what can I do for you today Miss Berry?" he asks.
"Um, I just wanted to check the balance on this account" Rachel offers holding out the card, "But the ATM's didn't seem to be making any sense."
"No problem, we can do that for you. If you'll just run your card through the reader there and enter your PIN."
Rachel follows instructions and, after hitting some keys on the computer keyboard, the manager turns the display around so Rachel can see it, "Here we are."
The diva can only sit and stare at the screen in shock, the amount shown on the screen matches that shown by the ATM's and there's no way that can be correct.
"Is that right?" she asks incredulously.
"Oh yes" The bank manager assures her, "We take very good care of Miss Lopez's money." He watches Rachel for a moment, still sitting open mouth across the desk from him, with a knowing smile, "She didn't tell you how much she had, did she?"
Rachel shakes her head slowly, "Is… Is that all of it?"
"No" the Manager answers, "She has a couple of savings account and I wouldn't be surprised if she has accounts elsewhere, it would be the sensible thing to do. There are also stocks, shares and bonds and holdings in silver, gold and platinum."
Rachel really can't believe what she's hearing, just how much money does Santana have? When the Latina told her about a trust fund she'd thought they were talking a few thousand dollars, maybe as much as ten or twenty thousand at most, but this… I was just unbelievable and worse, she had a bank card to access some of it. Quite a lot of it.
"So… how much…?" she asks a little weakly.
"It's difficult to say at this particular point in time, the value of stocks, shares and precious metals can and do fluctuate quite a bit." The manager pulls out a slip of paper and writes a figure on it before handing it over to Rachel, "But that's approximately the value of Miss Lopez holdings as we know them."
Rachel looks at the slip of paper in her hand and balks. "Seriously?" she asks looking up at the bank manager who just nods. "Could I have a glass of water please?" she asks.
The manager nods, "I'll be right back." He says before leaving the room.
He returns a few minutes later with a glass of water that Rachel accepts thankfully. She had been sitting there staring at the slip of paper for the entire time he had been gone and she still couldn't believe what she saw.
"Should you have told me about this?" she asks suddenly.
"Miss Lopez was very specific with her instructions. We were to answer any questions you had to the best of our ability, no secrets and we were to treat you as we'd treat her."
Rachel nods, "Thank you. I should go."
"It was very good to see you Miss Berry. The next time you have business with us please just give your name to the person at reception and someone will come and help you. It will probably not be myself, but we have a number of associates to assist important clients."
Rachel just nods again and thanks the manager for his help before heading towards her car, still trying to comprehend exactly what she had just been told. About half way home her car warned her that she needed gas so she pulls in to a gas station and, after a moment's consideration, swipes the black debit card through the card reader on the pump.
After she'd filled the car she'd found herself driving over to Puck's house. He had still been at school so she'd ended up waiting in her car until he got back. He had been a little surprised to see her, but had invited her in and up to his bedroom without question where he sprawled on the bed and Rachel perched on the edge of the chair next to his desk staring out of the window. When it becomes obvious that the diva wasn't about to start this conversation, whatever she wanted to talk about, he broke the silence.
"So how was the date?"
"You knew?" Rachel asks, her head whipping round to look at him.
Puck shakes his head, "When I noticed both you and Santana were missing today I cornered Quinn. She didn't want to tell me at first but you know I have a way with the ladies."
Rachel rolls her eyes at Puck's statement. "It was… wonderful." She answers after searching for the most appropriate word for a moment. She told him all about the hotel, the limo, the meal and the show but skipped over the details of their intimacy and the bank card. Neither of those were any of his business. "And then she asked me to be her girlfriend." She finishes.
"And?" he asks after a moment silence.
"I said yes."
"Well that's good isn't it?" Puck asks.
He wasn't entirely sure how things went in girl-girl relationships, but generally becoming boyfriend and girlfriend was a cause for happiness if not celebration and right now Rachel looked more confused than happy.
"Are you worried about what happens at school? Because I don't think that's going to be a problem, pretty much everyone is used to seeing you two together and I'm pretty sure Santana can handle anyone that has a problem with it."
Rachel shakes her head, "We haven't talked about that since she asked, but I think we'll continue to keep things as they are for the moment."
Puck nods, "So what's the problem?"
"She asked me to move in with her to a house her Aunt left her a few years ago. It is just a few blocks from home and she's already put together an amazing nursery. And she's even putting a mini recording studio in the basement." She stands and starts pacing back and forth, running her hands through her hair and gesturing randomly, "It's perfect. It's everything I want for myself and my child. If I was 25 like I planned I'd jump at it a shot."
"But?"
Rachel throws herself down onto the bed next to Puck, "But… Why move in if I'm just going to put the baby up for adoption?" The last word catches in Rachel's throat as it seemed to do every time she said it since she found out she was pregnant and even Puck notices. "Move in then move out in a few months when we split up? No" she shakes her head, "I can't do that, I can only move in if I'm keeping it and I haven't decided what I'm doing in that regard."
"If she's your girlfriend, why can't you stay together if you decide to put the baby up for adoption?" Puck asks genuinely confused.
Rachel cringes internally, she hadn't told Puck this before and she's not sure how he'll react, "Don't freak out okay?" she asks but sighs when he just looks at her expectantly without making any promise. "If I decide to put the baby up for adoption Santana has said she's going to file for custody and then she'll move away so that I don't have to see her and the baby every day."
Puck is quiet for a long time, "She can do that?" When Rachel nods he adds, "And you're okay with that?"
"I can't deny her a chance with her child Puck. And while losing her would hurt, I'm pretty sure it would be entirely eclipsed by the pain of giving away my child. And at least this way I know he or she would be with someone that loves them and will look after them."
"So what you're getting at is that before you decide to get any more involved with Santana, you need to decide if you're going to keep the baby or not. And that answer will also give you the answer about Santana. Right?" Rachel nods and Puck continues, "So let's see your pro and con lists, your decision matrices, your charts, graphs and power point slides. Then we can work through them together and see if we can get anywhere."
Rachel shakes her head, "I haven't made any of those."
"Why not?"
"Because there is still plenty of time before I have to make that decision!" Rachel snaps.
Puck watches her closely for a full minute wondering if she should actually say it. Buck fuck it, if she needs help to actually open her eyes and see the truth, he wasn't going to shy away from giving it.
"Or maybe because you've already made it? Subconsciously at least?" he asks, "Look Rach, whenever you have a decision to make you've got charts and graphs and lists all over the place and it has never mattered in the past how long you have to make the decision. As soon as you know you have to make it, you're thinking and planning and researching. Have you done any research into adoption or motherhood?" Rachel shakes her head, "So I think you've already made your decision and you're just not ready to admit it yet."
"Okay smartass, what did I decide?" Rachel asks tiredly deciding to humor him.
"I think you're going to keep it." Puck says and continues quickly before Rachel can interrupt, "Look you can barely say the word adoption and haven't been since you found out about the baby" he says ticking items off on his fingers, "and when you do you look like someone has kicked your puppy. I bet you can't even think about adoption without almost wanting to burst into tears. You've just admitted it would be beyond painful to give him or her up and you've just agreed to enter into a relationship with someone you know you will lose if you decide to give the baby up. And now that you have that relationship and you know that Santana is as dedicated to caring about the baby as she is, you know you don't have to worry about bringing the baby up alone and struggling"
Rachel stares up at the ceiling of the bedroom for a long time considering Puck's words and, rather disturbingly, is not able to find anything to disagree on. She didn't know if things were going to work between her and Santana but she's pretty sure that the Latina would still provide for and love their child and seriously, when did Puck get so insightful?
"When did you get so smart Puck?"
Puck grins, "Right about the time you gave me that thought-a-day calendar Rach."
She pushes herself up from the bed, "I should go. Thanks for listening Puck. And for the advice."
"Any time Rach."
She found her Daddy in the kitchen working on dinner when she finally gets home and has to describe the whole date with him too, again leaving out the private moments in the theater box and the bedroom but including Santana asking the diva to be her girlfriend. Her Daddy seems pleased it went so well.
She watches him for a while before she finally asks, "Daddy, what would you think if I decided to keep the baby?"
"I wouldn't be surprised honey." He stops what he's doing and turns to give his daughter a hug, "You know we'll support you whatever you choose, right honey?"
Rachel nods, makes her excuses and heads upstairs. She spends more time staring at her own ceiling this time, complete with little glow in the dark star stickers, and still can't find anything wrong with Puck's reasoning, which left her with one question. She pulls out her phone and, after some time deciding on the wording, sends a text.
To Santana: Is there any particular reason you want your own room at the new house?
The response comes surprisingly quickly.
From Santana: I just didn't want to assume anything.