14. The fire was put out and the rest of the group returned. Even Aaron. When Rick asked him why he didn't just take off while they were all distracted he shrugged his shoulders.
"I have to finish what Eric and I started." he said.
The mood in the cabin was somber. They looked like what they were with their soot covered skin and clothes. Survivors. Bandages and scars, ripped and torn. Judith whimpered in Maggie's arms. Beth coughed and wiped away the tears that came because it hurt so damn much even just to breathe right now. She stood up. Daryl was leaning against the doorway to the bedroom. He stepped forward when she stood, but something in her eyes stopped him from closing the distance between them.
"I'm gonna take a shower." she said.
"We should heat up water. It's cold and we all need it." Tara said. Beth kept walking past Daryl and into the bedroom.
"Or not." Tara said.
Beth found the plastic garbage bag where they kept a bunch of extra clothes. She dug through it looking for something to change into. Daryl came into the room.
"Hey." he said.
"Hey." she continued her search without looking at him. He bit his bottom lip as he watched her.
"You okay?" he asked.
She sat on the bed, clothes in her hands.
"Everything hurts. And I'm tired." she said.
He nodded. She looked up at him and he wasn't sure if it was the soot on her face or the tears, but her eyes were so blue. She sighed and stood up.
"I'll be out in a few minutes. I know everyone needs a turn."
"Beth?"
She stopped in the doorway. There it was again, her name on his lips. She didn't turn around.
"Nothin'." he hadn't a clue what he was going to say anyway. He was no good with feelings. Well most of the time. He did try with Beth. He walked out and picked up his crossbow and went out the backdoor. He stood on the porch and looked at the sky. It was gray with more than smoke. It would probably rain tonight. Daryl pushed his crossbow over his shoulder and pulled out his knife. He went out the back gate looking for something to take his mind off of everything.
Beth shivered in the shower. The water was freezing. She looked at the scratches on her arm. They weren't infected, but they hurt. She'd probably have scars. She turned her wrist over and brushed her fingers over the scars there. Was she weak for wanting out? What was this world anyway? A struggle, a fight every day for something. Holding onto hope was so hard. Tears fell and Beth sank to her knees in the tub hiccupping on the sobs she tried to keep silent. She felt so defeated. There was a knock on the door.
"Beth?" It was Maggie.
"Hang on. I'm rinsing off." Beth tried to sound normal. Whatever that was. She pulled the chain and gritted her teeth under the cold water. She stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around herself. Maggie knocked again. Beth opened the door. The sisters eyes met. Beth couldn't hide her feelings. Maggie could see right through her. She came into the small room and closed the door behind her.
"What is it?" She took another towel and started drying Beth's hair.
"I'm hurt. I'm tired. This just goes on and on." Beth said quietly.
"Yeah. And we keep going." Maggie turned Beth around. Her sister's lips were tinted blue and she was shivering from the cold shower.
"People die Maggie." Beth whispered.
"They live too. And in between you hold them close and love them Beth." Maggie said. She hugged Beth and left the bathroom.
It was dark by the time everyone cleaned up. And raining. Everyone was in the cabin, everyone except Daryl. Beth glanced at the back door every few minutes. She wanted him to come back so she'd know he was safe, but she didn't have the energy to deal with what had happened earlier. She followed Maggie into the bedroom and helped her change Judith.
"Let me brush your hair. I haven't done that in forever." Maggie said. Beth handed her the brush and she took the baby. It felt good having Maggie brush her hair. She had always brushed it when Beth was a little girl.
"Do you want to go to Alexandria?" Beth asked her.
"I don't know. It's hard to trust anyone anymore." Maggie said.
"And safe and normal seems impossible." Beth said. Judith was falling asleep in her lap. She cuddled the baby close.
"I think that he really loves you." Maggie said.
Beth turned her head and looked at her sister.
"I know you're struggling with this. You both are. Do whatever makes you happy. There's so little to be happy about right now." She sat beside Beth on the bed.
"He's overprotective and treats me like a child. I've changed. I'm stronger." Beth said.
"You are." Maggie agreed a small smile on her face.
"He's moody and unpredictable." Beth said.
"Do you love him?" Maggie asked. And this time Beth could answer.
"Yes." she whispered. "But I'm afraid."
"Of him?" Maggie asked concerned.
"Of losing him. Of losing myself. Of being so selfish as to be worrying about a relationship right now when most of the time we are fighting for our lives." Beth said.
"We are fighting for each other. Because we've become a family. There's nothing wrong with your worries Beth." Maggie said.
"So every time Glenn goes out alone you worry?" Beth asked.
"Yes. Glenn, Rick, Michonne, Carl, Carol.. Even Daryl. All of them. We worry because we love them." She took the sleeping baby and put her in the playpen.
"Your hair looks really pretty down." Maggie told her. Beth smiled. "We're here. This is what we have to make the best of. Don't go back to that dark place you were in. I need you here." Maggie smiled. "Take the other bedroom tonight. Glenn and I are going to be on watch at some point so someone else should enjoy it." She left Beth sitting on the bed.
Rick walked in followed by Carl. He walked over to Judith. He smiled down at his daughter and looked at Beth.
"How are you feeling?" he sat down next to her.
"Beat up. How about you?" she looked at him. He looked tired.
"About the same. Go to bed. Everyone is either sleeping or taking watch." he patted her leg. She leaned over and hugged him.
"I'm glad you're okay." she said. She left the room.
The cabin was either eerie or comforting after dark when they lit the candles for light. Carol was struggling with the pull out and Beth went over and helped her.
"You okay?" Carol asked her.
"Yeah, just tired." she laughed lightly.
"Go to bed. That's where I'm going." Carol said.
Beth nodded. She found her backpack by the fireplace hearth. Daryl's was next to it. His flannel shirt was lying on top of it. She picked it up.
"Take his backpack. I'll tell him where you are. He'll be back soon I am sure." Carol said.
"Ok.." Beth said. Did everyone automatically assume Daryl was the reason for her mood? Obviously living so close together people notice things about each other.
"It's not just Daryl.. Everything is hard." Beth said.
"I know sweetie. Some things are just worth it." Carol smiled and laid back on the couch.
Beth sighed and walked into the bedroom. She lit the candle on the nightstand and sat down and kicked off her boots. She laid back on the bed and then remembered the flannel. She sat up, her aching muscles protesting and grabbed the flannel. She climbed back into bed and put the flannel on the pillow beneath her head.
Daryl came through the back gate a couple of hours after dark. He'd wandered around the perimeter of the cabin looking for walkers to take his frustration out on. He was wet and cold and needed to be back even if she wanted nothing to do with him. He would probably continue to try and fight it, but it was one battle he wasn't going to win. She was the flame and he was the moth. And everyone knows how that story goes.
"Daryl? That you?" Tyreese called out.
"Yeah." Daryl climbed the steps.
"Anything going on out there?" Tyreese asked.
"Nah. Couple of walkers. You guys got watch?" He eyed the men on the porch. Eugene and Aaron were with Tyreese.
"Yes we do. Go get some sleep."
Daryl walked through the backdoor. Carol was on the pull out couch. The other one was empty.
"Get too cold out there for you?" Carol asked.
Daryl shrugged.
"Beth's in Maggie's room. She has your backpack. I told her I would let you know." Carol said.
Daryl glanced at the door.
"Go to bed Daryl." Carol said and she rolled over.
He walked to the door and went in. He was stopped in his tracks by what he saw in the candle light. Beth was asleep. Her hair was spread out on the pillow around her face. He'd only seen her hair down one other time. In the candlelight she looked ethereal. Her scars were the only thing that made her human. He sat his crossbow and jacket on the floor and slipped off his boots. He happened to look down at his jeans before climbing on the bed. They were covered with dirt and soot. So were his hands and arms. He was sure his face was too. He grabbed a change of clothes from his bag and went in to take a quick shower. A few minutes later he sat down on the bed his towel dried hair still dripping on his t-shirt and he watched Beth sleep. He noticed she had his flannel on the pillow under her head.
"You're not so tough Greene." he said softly and he stretched out on the bed next to her. It was either chaos or calm and somehow she was always in the middle of it. He looked over at her and she was watching him with those big blue eyes. He didn't say anything, he didn't have to.
"Hey." her voice was still hoarse. He tentatively touched the scratches on her arm.
"I'm sorry." she whispered.
"Stop." he said. He fingered her hair. She watched his face as he played with it. There was so much she wanted to say, but words had consequences and she didn't have the strength to deal with that right now. So she did the one thing neither of them expected. She shifted on the bed so she was beside him and slid her hand behind his neck. Feathering her fingers through his hair, she leaned over and brushed her lips softly against his. She brought her other hand up to his cheek and deepened the kiss, taking his breath away and suddenly all there was, was this moment between them. He wrapped his hand around her waist and rolled her over on top of him. Her mouth was sweet and yielding and Daryl groaned as her tongue slipped between his lips. He took her face in his hands and all the sweetness from seconds before was gone. Their kissing was frantic, teeth grazed warm lips, their noses bumped, and the scruff of his beard left her cheeks red. The pressure of her small frame stretched out on top of him was more than he could handle.
"Beth…" he breathed.
She had his t-shirt twisted in her fists. This was the inbetween and she wanted to love him and have him love her back while they were both still here.
"I don't want to talk.. I don't want to think.. " she murmured. "Just love me Daryl."
What was he supposed to say to that? Self-control wasn't his strong point. But this was Beth. He rolled her over gently and looked into her eyes. He leaned his forehead against hers. She reached for the hem of his t-shirt and he let her pull it over his head. He did the same with hers. She sat up on her knees and unbuttoned her jeans and he watched. She pushed him back on the bed and climbed on top of him in nothing more than little bits of soft pink cotton. Daryl ran his hands down her body and when her hands went to the buttons on his jeans he stood up and took over so he could get them off faster. He slid them down and stepped out of them. He wasn't wearing anything underneath and when he looked at Beth the soft pink cotton was gone too. He kneeled on the bed in front of her feeling completely vulnerable. She must have been feeling the same because she brought her arms up to cover herself.
"Don't. You're beautiful." he took her hands and moved them.
"So are you." she sighed. And he was, but he'd never believe that. She'd have to show him.
He laid her back on the bed and kissed her. He was sure nothing in his life had ever felt quite like this. Sex wasn't something new. Not for him. But this feeling of falling into another person and being completely lost in her was so unfamiliar. They fell into a rhythm that threatened to push him over the edge so he slowed down and looked at her, really looked into her eyes. She reached up and traced his lips with her finger.
"I love you Daryl." she whispered.
That was it. He was done. He fell onto her and all his self-control was gone. Their bodies tangled together and her heart threatened to beat right out of her chest. He was like something feral, but when he looked at her his eyes were soft and when he touched her it was like he was handling glass. She felt like a princess. Not a little girl he had been burdened with. She was making him feel this way. She was making him growl deep in the back of his throat. He nuzzled into her neck and whispered into her ear.
"I love you Beth.."
She wrapped her legs around his hips and let him take her over the edge. One final thrust and he pulled out and lay shaking on top of her. They were both trying to catch their breath. He rolled over and pulled her against him.
"That wasn't your first time." he asked quietly because he should have asked before.
"No, but it was the first time it felt right." she pulled the blankets on the bed up over them and Daryl wrapped both arms around her.