Chapter 14

Jun looked out the window of Joe's car while they drove to the trailer park. Joe didn't say anymore after she got into the car with him, so it gave her time to think up a reason.

But could she tell an outright lie? She fidgeted with her hands. She could just say she decided to look for her mother, or on an assignment for Dr.Nambu…but that would be another lie since Jun had told Joe she wasn't interested in finding her, since she abandoned her at an orphanage. She still didn't have an interest in looking for her, and then what if he offered to help her?

She got out of the car just after he pulled up in front of his trailer- silently she followed Joe into the trailer and sat down at the small table while he began to put together some snacks. "Potato wedges and sweet chilli sauce." He announced putting the tray of frozen wedges into the small convection oven.

He sat down opposite her while they waited for the food to cook. Jun stared out the small window clutching her hands, a lump forming in her throat.

"I saw you one day leaving that same building looking very upset…" Joe took her hand. "Then you mumbled a name when you were injured…Dyami."

Jun felt the blood drain from her face- she pulled her hand away from him.

"Sorry Jun, I should have said something sooner." Joe confessed. "None of it makes sense."

"Nothing since you came back has made any sense Joe, what about that car crash and-"Jun said trying to change the topic.

"This isn't about me…" Joe cut her off. "And lets just cut all the small talk. When I saw you again there today…and then you said the name Dyami a penny dropped in my mind..."

Jun felt panic rising inside of her, what if eh spoke to Ken about this. "Its none of your business why I was there, don't go assuming…you know anything." Jun put her hands flat on table and pursed her lips, she began to stand up, when Joe caught her arm and forced her to sit down again.

Joe continued to push. "You know, Ken's got a lot to answer for…running off on you like that…leaving you pregnant to go off on missions…" Joe's voice hardened dangerously. "That's what really happened didn't it he found out you were pregnant and then abandoned you…that bastard, I'll hurt him badly for doing that to you."

"No…Joe…you don't understand-"Jun pleaded with her eyes.

"How could he Jun… and now you're defending him…for abandoning you?" Joe stood up when the oven alarm went off, threw the wedges in a bowl and placed it on the table, and then he went to the small fridge to get out the sour cream and sweet chilli sauce.

Jun felt hot tears sting her eyes… as usual, when this topic threatened to come up she clammed her mouth shut. Something in the way she responded gave her away.

Joe froze, "You're not denying it."

"Joe... He doesn't know about the baby...please...I can't talk about it...it hurts to much to talk." She shouted hitting her hands on the table she let out her frustration and anger, folded her arms onto the table and tried to calm herself, without any success.

Joe's voice reflected his disbelief in what he just heard. "So I'm right… So you did have a baby...I'll be damned."

Jun wanted a hole to open up and let her disappear from all the bad memories. "I hate you Joe…I really do right now." She sobbed. "Why did you tell me to go and find the happiness that other girls have? You bastard how could you make me believe I could have it with Ken, and then in reality it is was just another lie I have to live with…" The strength to hate him left her, leaving her feeling emptiness filling the void left by the outburst.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" He said.

"No…I don't talk about it…" she said still crying.

"You can hate me." He said, "just get it out and stop trying to deal with it on your own...So do I go and find Ken and bash the living daylights out of him for putting you through this alone." Joe offered.

"No… "Jun felt his large hands on her small shoulders and he pulled her into a tight embrace.
"He doesn't know about him...I told you that."

"How is that possible?" Joe asked her.

"Lots of things have happened…I… don't know where to begin." She snuggled her face into his shoulder, she could feel his rippling muscles under his thin T-shirt.

For a long while Joe held her close, Jun felt a connection with him on a deeper level than she realized. "Please don't say anything to him." She pleaded.

"Jun, I have secret too…can you keep it?" Joe said softly. "I trust you too."

"Yes, you can tell me anything Joe." Jun buried her face into his shoulder, she felt so warm and comfortable being held like this.

"I'm not totally human any more…"He faltered, making her look up into his haunted face."I'm a cyborg, that's what Dr.Raphael made into…no one knows…" Joe sounded depressed by this. Slowly he turned his gaze to meet hers.

"You're very real to me Joe- I feel the warmth of your body against me…" His lips were only inches from her face- she could feel his warm moist inviting breath.

Jun felt his fingers gently touch her chin as he leaned down to kiss her, Jun accepted his kiss, as it deepened she allowed his touch to take away the all tea pin she had been hoarding inside her for so long.

He kissed her passionately and then his lips ran over eyes like he could take away her sad tears of more than a year- Jun found herself wanting him…Wanting Joe to make love to her. He responded to touch inviting him to become even more intimate with her body. Lost in the moment she felt liberated, in Joe's arms she could forget all of the hurt, loss and grief.

His hand slid under her thin top unlatching the bra that stood between his hand and her soft flesh, Joe began lifting her T-shirt over her head, stopping long enough to catch her breast in his mouth sending waves of pleasure through her body.

Jun quickly removed his T-shirt- Kissing his firm toned muscles he pushed her back on the narrow seat. She could feel his tongue tasting with hot wet kisses all the way down to her jeans, and he unzipped them, and pulled them down far enough to tease her by pulling back her panties and finding the most sensitive places between her legs with his tongue.

Jun cried out her pleasure, satisfied with her arousal he helped her as they struggled out of the confined space of the small table, kissing each other as they clumsily fell towards his bed shedding more of his clothes.

Joe gently laid her down, looking deeply into her eyes, shifting his weight so he leaned into kiss her again.

Jun felt butterflies become loose in her stomach- she closed her eyes to accept his kiss, had been so long since she had last made love… Ken's face loomed before her, and then she opened her eyes to look into Joes.

Something changed in his gaze from lust to anguish…

"No…No…Jun we can't do this, its all wrong." Joe breathed in deeply, slowly he drew away.

"What?" Jun felt the intense moment begin to evaporate. She sat up, her long ebony hair falling messily around her shoulders.

Joe pushed himself away from her. Jun felt anger rise up in her. "Why did we start this then?"

Joe's face held some regret. "We shouldn't have. You have to tell Ken about his son Jun…I wouldn't be on the rebound for you..."Joe's hurt showed in his eyes. "There's a lot of things unresolved between you and Ken, and I won't be caught in the middle of it." Joe pulled right away from her. Pulling up his jeans and he zipped up the fly, leaving her perched on the edge of the bed in only her white panties.

"Are you saying that this all my fault?" Jun pushed past fuming him, picking up her bra and other clothes scattered on the floor of trailer as she moved.

Pulling up her Jeans and pulling on her T-Shirt feeling a little hesitated she sat down at the table to do put on her shoes.

"No I'm not- we both got caught up the need to feel whole again…feeling anything again that resembled love and affection." Sensing this Joe looked away as she began to dress.

"Joe…" She said quietly feeling drained once more of emotions. "I can't tell him, every time I've tried the words just won't pass my lips…its too late…he's been placed with his new mother and father."

Fully dressed again now Joe knelt down in front of her, taking her hands in his, " Did they look like an older couple, he's got dark hair and blue eyes, but more clean cut than Ken is, she's got strawberry blond hair, pretty…warm nature? Dyami had Ken's blue eyes right, you're smile?"

Jun nodded, Joe's mouth turned up a little. "I saw then come out then, just before you did…have you done security checks on them?"

Jun backed away a little, "They're fine."

"I trust you did then…Jun, I've have always cared deeply for you, I've told you what I am… its time for us to both face the hard truths in our lives."

"So does that mean you'll tell the rest of the team what happened to you? That you're now a cyborg?" Jun squeezed his hands tight forcing him to look at her.

"I can't…" Joe's face fell.

"So you know how I feel then, why I can't tell Ken…" She implored him.

"Find a way Jun… one day he'll see this young man walking down the street that looks just like him…"

Jun had thought about that many times during the past year, and Dyami definitely looked to be taking on the Washio's good looks.

"I won' tell anyone your secret Joe…please, let me tell Ken about Dyami in my own time." Joe rested his head in her lap.

"I won't tell Ken about him." Joe promised.

Gently she ran her fingers through his hair. "Joe, you know how special you are to me."

"You're special to me too Jun… We'll be there for each other." He said getting to his feet.

"Now, onto to dinner… How does Veal Scaloppini …Veal medallions sautéed with mushrooms in a lemon caper sauce, served with capellini and seasonal vegetables." Joe's face broke into a warm smile.

"Sounds great, would you like a hand preparing it?" Jun offered- Joe shook his head." Ahhh no Jun, your reputation in the kitchen is legendary. Besides I have only this small bench, so sit back and enjoy some garlic bread…or cold wedges."

"We can talk more over dinner if you want to." Joe offered.

"Not just about me Joe, you can talk about what happened to you too." Jun felt her heart slow down, and she began to feel some of the burden lift. She had someone to talk to about it at last. And so did Joe.

The moment lightened, and more then ever Jun enjoyed being with Joe, and the company of close friend who understood her.