A couple of weeks later, the team were gathered at Rossi's house for a barbeque. Though there had been an obvious tension following Parker and Reid's argument and her subsequent altercation with Hotch, it slowly dispersed and the team continued to work as normal. Parker had been quiet – a fact which hadn't escaped anyone's attention – but no one was unduly concerned. At least no one other than Spencer.
"Parker, do you want a beer?" Morgan called across the garden to where the young agent sat by herself watching the others interact.
"I'm good thanks," she replied, raising her glass of soda to show she already had a drink.
"You know you don't have to do that for my benefit," Reid remarked, taking a seat beside her. "I was too fast to jump to conclusions. I'm sorry."
"Don't worry about it," Parker smiled. "You were right to be worried before," she admitted after a pause. "I mean I don't have the same kind of issues as Erin but…" she paused. "That case with the sorority girls that were picked up in bars spooked me a bit." Reid nodded in understanding.
"Are the cases getting to you?" he asked.
"I'm coping," she replied.
"Good," Spencer nodded but looked rather unconvinced. Parker gave him a smile.
"I'm sorry for being such a bitch. I know you were only looking out for me. Thank you."
Spencer opened his mouth to reply but before he could say anything, Morgan called over to them from beside the pool, where everyone else was gathered.
"Are you kids joining us or are you having a private party of your own?" he laughed.
"Jealous, Morgan?" Parker yelled back with forced playfulness. She was discovering that it was easier to occasionally join in with the jokes and banter of the team than to avoid socialising with them altogether. She stood up and started over towards the others.
"You got me," Morgan grinned holding his hands up. "Don't you know I like having pretty boy all to myself?"
"Oh, he only has eyes for me," Parker replied with a laugh as she came to stand beside Derek. Derek's face suddenly turned serious and his eyes widened.
"Parker, behind you!" he warned.
"What?" she asked in alarm, as she turned to look and felt Morgan's strong hands push her straight into the pool. His laugh filled the air and, after some initial gasps of surprise, the others joined in.
Parker hit the water face first. She felt the cool liquid fill her nose and her open mouth, and panic exploded through her body. All thoughts of the warm summer's day faded and were replaced by a darkness she hadn't visited in several months. She could feel the weight of his hand on the back of her neck and the temperature of the water, which she was trying so hard to keep from her lungs, seemed to drop by several degrees. She lashed out with her arms and legs, desperately trying to break free of an imaginary hold. And then her head started to grow fuzzy and stars appeared before her water filled eyes…
Emily was the first to notice that something was wrong. She had been laughing, along with the others, until she noticed that Parker was flailing and hadn't surfaced since hitting the water. Her face fell as the young agent's movements appeared to slow
"Guys, something's wrong!" she shouted as she leapt up from her seat and rushed towards the pool. At Emily's shout Morgan also realised Parker was in trouble and jumped into the water. He soon had a hold of her and pulled her head above the water. She gasped for air and then began to kick out, almost breaking free of Morgan's grip.
"Get off me!" she coughed, elbowing him hard in the chest. Emily, who had also jumped into the pool, tried to assist him in keeping her above the water.
"Parker, it's Emily," she said, as she supported the younger woman's head and shoulders. "We're trying to help you – you need to stop fighting." Between the two of them, Morgan and Prentiss managed to manoeuvre Parker to the edge of the pool, where the others were waiting to pull her from the water.
"Please! I don't know anything! Stop!" Parker yelled, still kicking out as JJ and Hotch lifted her from the water.
"Parker, it's us. You're safe," Hotch reassured her as he gently took hold of her chin and turned her to face him.
"It's not him," Parker babbled, before finally realising that she was in Rossi's garden with a very worried team surrounding her. She stopped lashing out and felt herself lie back against JJ, who was crouched behind her. Taking a deep breath, she began to cough and the blonde profiler helped her to lean forward, rubbing her back until she could breathe again.
"Are you OK?" Morgan asked, his expression an equal mix of guilt and concern, as Parker's eyes drifted up to take in his dripping wet form. She nodded slowly, feeling a little confused.
"What… what happened?" she asked.
"You don't remember?" Hotch frowned. She shook her head.
"I was with Spencer – we were talking and then Morgan called me over and…" she trailed off.
"I pushed you into the pool," Morgan explained guiltily. "It was just meant to be a joke…"
"I'm OK," Parker mumbled quietly, becoming increasingly aware that everyone was staring. She tried to get up but JJ placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her from moving.
"How about we just sit here for a minute and make sure you're OK?" she suggested. Parker didn't resist and JJ loosened her grip. JJ turned to Morgan and Prentiss. "Why don't you guys go inside and dry off?" she asked. "And maybe someone could go and get a towel for Parker? It's a bit crowded out here." The team, following JJ's suggestions or making other excuses, dispersed and gave JJ and Parker some space. Spencer, however, stayed behind, watching with concern.
"I want to get up," Parker stated after a few moments.
"OK," JJ agreed. "Spence, can you help me?" Even sitting on the ground Parker was trembling and JJ knew she wouldn't be able to stand on her own, but with Spencer's help she was soon seated in a nearby chair.
"Thank you," Parker smiled weakly, as Spencer crouched down in front of her and took hold of her wrist. "What are you doing?"
"I'm checking your pulse," he explained. "You nearly drowned. We should really get you to the emergency room to get checked over. It looks like you had some kind of panic attack," he mused.
"I'm OK," Parker tried to assure him.
"You need to stop saying that," JJ raised her eyebrows.
"You're still shaking," Reid continued his assessment of her wellbeing. "You're probably in shock and you seemed to inhale some water so it really would be best if you saw a doctor. Has anything like that ever happened to you before?"
"What? Having to be rescued from the pool at a colleague's barbeque?" she muttered dryly. It was Reid's turn to raise his eyebrows. "I've had nightmares before but I've never been like that while I'm awake," she answered honestly.
"Where did you think you were?" JJ asked gently. Parker stared at her feet, considering how to answer. "Parker?" JJ pressed.
"I don't want to talk about it," she responded at last. "But please just believe me that I'm OK?" She looked up at the two worried faces watching her every gesture and expression. "And Spencer, I don't need a doctor – I'm breathing fine and I'll stop shaking in a little while."
"You're not OK," Reid remarked sternly, much to JJ's surprise.
"Spencer…" Parker began, but was cut off.
"No, don't keep pretending that you are OK!" he exclaimed. "You are distant and jumpy and you nearly drowned in Rossi's pool! And have you forgotten the night I took you home when you were too drunk to climb the stairs? Do you know what could have happened to you if you'd been alone? I was awake most of the night just to check you were still breathing!"
"Spence…" Parker breathed as tears prickled her eyes. "I'm sorry…"
"Don't apologise; just let us help you," Reid pleaded. Parker was taken aback by his outburst and JJ watched the conversation play out in a kind of stunned silence.
"You don't want to help me," Parker replied quietly after several moments of silence. Tears flowed freely down her face and she made no attempt to wipe them away with her shaking hands. "You shouldn't want to help me."
"Trust me," Reid continued. "Trust us. Please." He was reminded of when Emily had shut them out to deal with Doyle by herself. He wasn't willing to let anything like that happen again.
"Don't…" Parker shook her head. "Please don't be nice to me." Her voice was heavy with emotion and her tears continued to fall silently.
"You're a part of the team."
"No, I'm not. You shouldn't trust me. Don't make this harder."
"Parker…" Reid trailed off. His usually lightning-quick brain was taking time to process the situation. At some point his fingers had inexplicably slid from her wrist to hold her hand.
"You shouldn't trust me," she repeated quietly.
"Why?" he puzzled, trying to read her expression.
"Because she's working for Strauss," came a voice from a few feet away. "Right?" Parker turned towards Hotch and, as their eyes met, all other thoughts were replaced with a paradoxical sense of relief and panic.
And the secret is out...