Chapter Twelve

"What were they?" were the first words out of her mouth.

"You knew," I said instead; my voice hollow and stinging with betrayal. "How long?"

"What did you get?" she insisted, her voice struggling to stay calm.

"No! You don't get to ask me that!" I surprised myself by answering back sharply. "You've kept things from me. You've lied, you're a liar!" I accused.

"Sage, tell me!" She demanded.

"You, of all people, you? What else don't I know? What else have you been hiding?" I prodded. "I'm not telling you anything until you come clean. I feel like I don't even know who you are anymore!"

Grabbing a hold of my arm, she yanked me inside and locked the door, and then she motioned for me to sit. I stood my ground though, and instead crossed my arms and went to stand by the window. She approached me slowly, her brow furrowed in concern, and instead of yelling at me as I'd thought she'd do, she hugged me. Wrapping her thin arms around me, whatever anger I'd felt vanished, and I found myself hugging her back.

"I'm your mother Sage, that's who I am," she whispered into my shirt. "And you are my son, my little boy. I have hidden things from you, yes, but it's been for your own good, for your own protection."

I nodded and felt the last of my angst disappear, instead replaced by more confusion.

"Please tell me. I need to know. What is it that you've been hiding?" I begged.

"Okay, I'll tell you," she finally answered after a moment of hesitation.

"How?" I sighed, pulling away and sitting on one of the chairs in the kitchen. "We're candor, honesty is everything. How did you manage to live this life with secrets hanging over your head?"

She sat across from me and I saw her sit up, her eyes alert and her expression open. She was about to tell me the truth. Though, what did I know, she could be preparing to lie to me again and I'd never even know. All this time that I'd thought I'd seen her be honest; it had all been a ruse.

"I love our faction, I believe in what we represent, and I used to think I was willing to give up anything for the truth to be known." She brushed at her eyes. "But then I found the one thing I'd be willing to lie for. You're father, he-"

"He's dead," I cut in; not understanding where she was heading. "Car accident, remember? It was in the papers and everything."

She shook her head swiftly, her eyes burning with a fire I'd never seen before.

"Yes, yes he is dead, but not because of an accident. He was murdered." She said icily.

I didn't answer for a solid minute as the information sank in. My mind connected the dots; adding one piece of information with the next.

"He was Divergent." I stated; no question in my voice.

"Yes," she nodded. "He was and he told me. I loved him and understood the danger of what he was because you see; his older sister was killed for that exact same reason. He was already being watched but we managed to live out of the radar for years, we even began to think the whole divergence incident had been forgotten." She smiled and her hand found mine. "Mara was born, and then you followed shortly after. Everything was picture perfect, the image of the ideal family."

"What happened?" I asked, my voice barely audible. I'd caught the distinct tone of grief in her voice; whatever had happened had been ghastly, something she'd tried to bury through the years.

"Someone found out," she choked. "I don't know how, but someone knew what he was and had him blackmailed. Whoever it was had to be someone with power, because your father didn't work with anyone lower than the candor council members."

I nodded, remembering that once my mother had mentioned that my father had actually worked alongside Danny's father, , on some of the cities law citations.

"Did you find out who was threatening him?"

"No, to this day I have no clue who it was," She shook her head. "This went on for a while until your father got tired of it and tried to refuse. That didn't go well though, because whoever it was that knew, threatened to out him in front of the entire council if he didn't comply with what they asked."

"What did they want him to do?"

"I don't know, your father never told me, he wanted me to know as little as possible so if they ever tried to question me or put me on the truth serum, I wouldn't be in the same danger. If I knew anything, they'd find out the moment I tried to lie." She shrugged. "Your father was the most honest man I've ever known, and if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I wouldn't have believed it, but he had the ability to resist the truth serum. He was different and it was obvious if you paid close attention. He did what I've done with you and Mara, he kept me safe by keeping me out of the loop."

"But you did know about his divergence," I pointed out. "And you did and have been lying to me and Mara for years. How? How did you do it?"

"He only told me because he wanted to give me the choice; he wanted me to decide if I wanted to live with him, and risk my life in the process, or forget him and live a life of peace." She smiled at some unknown memory before continuing. "I chose him, and it wasn't a mistake. Our lives were perfect. He even tried to teach me clever ways to hide our lies so that we'd be safe, though I was never really good. The topic of divergence hardly ever came up, not until…" she trailed off, and suddenly her eyes were boring into my own.

"Until me?"

"Yes. Your father knew, the moment he saw you toddling, that you were different. You were a lot, no, exactly like him as a child; a near replica. We both knew you'd be in the same danger as him if we weren't careful. That's when I found myself trying and actually succeeding at deception. You and your father gave me the strength to ignore our social laws and lie."

It was a long while before I spoke again, this time with more respect in my voice than I'd ever thought I could muster.

"That must've been hard for you, thank you for your honesty and telling me all this." I reached over and held her one hand in both of mine. "How did he die then? What happened?"

"It was a car accident, that part was true, but it wasn't by chance that he hit the other vehicle. When a couple of the abnegation were cleaning the wreck afterwards, I heard them mention that it was odd because it seemed as if he'd tried to stop but couldn't."

My jaw clenched and I could feel my heart hammer. I was livid, because I knew what she was about to say.

"I decided to check for myself. So when it was night, I went to where they'd left the pieces of the wreck and looked for myself." She swallowed loudly, and in her eyes I could see a mirror of my fury. "The brake wires had been cut, his car had been sabotaged. Whoever had been blackmailing him had been smart enough to make it seem like it'd been a simple twist of fate."

I lurched to my feet, slamming my fist against the wall that was closest to me. Control, I had to stay in control. I sucking in air through my teeth and then pushed it out in a rush. Where was the damned air? I felt as if I were asphyxiating. Was this room getting smaller? Were they watching us right now? Listening to our every word? Was this another simulation?

"Sage," my mother's voice pulled me out of the haze that was my rage.

"Then what happened?" I demanded; my eyes peering at the ceiling, the air ducts, the windows, looking for any signs that they were present.

"Nothing, really. The council brought me in and asked if I knew anything about what he'd been up to before he'd died." She motioned to her neck. "Of course, they asked all this while I was on the truth serum, so it was a good thing I really didn't know what he'd been doing."

"They didn't watch us?" I asked, somewhat amazed.

"For couple months afterwards I did get the feeling that we were being followed, but I never actually saw anyone and nothing ever happened." She stood and pulled me back to sit on the chair. Her eyes were worried again. "I knew you wouldn't be safe here though; the more you grew and matured, the more I could see your divergence blossom. I've told you all I know, now please, tell me what factions you got."

I relaxed slightly, though I could still feel myself hovering on the brink of paranoia. What if they were listening to us right now? How much did they already know?

"I got abnegation, candor, and dauntless."

"Three?" she whispered, her eyes horrified. "Okay, well obviously you have to choose abnegation. There's no question about it, that's the safest faction to pick."

I was about to argue when a sudden knock at the door made us both jump in alarm.

I sprang to my feet but my mother beat me to the door.

"Who is it?" She asked, her tone dropping any hint of our previous qualms.

"Hey Mrs. Stronghold, I was just wondering if Sage was feeling any better, they told me he got sick after the test. Can I come in?" I heard Danny ask through the door.

"Well of course Danny, come right in," she answered, swinging the door open and greeted him with a smile.

And just like that, the mask I'd never even known existed, was back on her face. If I hadn't just been talking to her moments ago, I would've believed nothing had even happened. Anyone would be hard-pressed to think that we'd just been discussing the murder of my father, my mother's lies, or my own mortality.

"I'll leave you two alone, I have to go pick up Mara," she said, giving me a discreet glance before walking out the door.

"Hey big guy, feeling better?" Danny asked; a smirk playing on his lips as he plopped down on the nearest couch.

I didn't answer; if I said yes, that'd be a lie, if I said no, he'd ask for explanations which would lead to another lie, either way I was trapped. This was it; the moment I'd have to start doing just what my mother and father had done, I'd have to lie to keep the ones I cared about safe.

"A little," I said, sprawling across from him on the other sofa.

He snorted, easily seeing through my first real attempt at deception. "Right, I believe that," he said sarcastically as he chucked a pillow at me. Thankfully, he didn't prod any further on the topic of my made-up illness.

"Tomorrow's the big day, can you believe it?" he said in a wistful tone as he stared up at the ceiling. "Man, I'm going to miss it here you know? Miss my dad and your mom, and even Mara," he sighed, "but my real faction calls."

"You're not supposed to tell me what you got," I pointed out, kicking my shoes off and settling deeper into the couch.

"Technically, I didn't," he said mischievously.

"Yeah, yeah," I said, forcing myself to relax as much as I could. "Where's your dad?" I asked; trying to subtly change the subject.

"A meeting, as usual," he answered, not sounding at all upset by the news. He was too used to being disregarded by his father to ever work up a fit about anything. "He'll be gone until early tomorrow, but he said he'd be back in time for the Choosing Ceremony."

"That's good," I said, genuinely happy for him.

"Yeah," he breathed, oddly calm for a change. "Tomorrow Sage, tomorrow it'll be you and me man, taking on dauntless and really making something of ourselves."

I didn't answer. Instead, I remembered back to when Marko had been lying to me; how he'd looked, how he'd acted, how he'd even sounded. I wouldn't and couldn't stay in candor, so even if it sickened me, even if it literally made my stomach churn; I'd have to lie, and lie convincingly. Danny seemed to finally notice my silence. He turned his head and peered at me curiously.

"Well, I already broke the rules I guess, I mean you know I got dauntless…" He frowned a little, and I could see him preparing to interpret my expression; he had the same look any candor person got when they were ready to read a person. "So, what did you get?" It was subtle, but he was definitely trying to decipher whatever it was that I was about to say.

"I got dauntless," I answered, my voice calm and free of inflection, my eyes never wavering from his. In theory, I hadn't really lied. It was a half-truth; I had gotten dauntless, I'd just happened to exclude the fact that I'd also gotten abnegation and candor.

"I knew it!" he crowed, laughing loudly and pumping his fist in the air. Apparently, I'd succeeded. "Man, I'm not gonna' lie, for a moment-" he broke off, still grinning and shaking his head.

"What?" I asked, trying to understand the look of embarrassment on his face. "What? Tell me."

"You're going to laugh, it's so crazy, but for a second there I actually thought you might've gotten abnegation."

My throat went dry and I had to force myself to laugh.

"A stiff, me? Why did you think that?" I said jokingly; successfully hiding the nerves from my voice behind another chuckle.

He laughed and scratched his head awkwardly.

"Like I said, I know it's crazy, but for a moment I don't know, it just made sense for you to be abnegation." He gave me a pointed look. "I don't know if you've noticed but you do some peculiar things sometimes."

I frowned; what exactly was it that I was doing to make people think that?

"Crazy," I chuckled, hoping my easy dismissal would hide the dread in my voice.

"I know, I know," Danny said, shaking his head at himself again. Then he smiled, and it was the same smile he always got whenever his father actually took him into account or paid him the slightest form of attention. The same look he got when he was completely happy and unafraid to show it. "I'm glad I was wrong. I-I don't know what I would've done if you'd gotten something else. You've always been there for me, you're not just my best friend you know? You're like my brother." He looked away, embarrassed.

"Not like," I smiled. "I am your brother, and you are mine."

"Thanks for saying that." He smiled again, and then nodded. "Dude, I feel like a chick with all this mushy stuff," he said after a few seconds of silence.

I laughed and chucked his pillow back. "I know right? Jeez, control your emotions Danny. I thought you got dauntless, not amity."

He laughed, and then our moment of sappy bonding was over, and we were just two friends shooting the breeze; discussing how lame it was that the dauntless didn't get to drive cars like the candor or amity, or how it sucked that we'd probably never get to taste the delicacy which was candor ice-cream again.

Mara came home a little later, alone, saying our mom had dropped her off and then left to meet with someone. It was all very suspicious, but whatever lie she'd told Mara seemed to work because I appeared to be the only one on edge with her absence. Where had she gone? Was she in danger? I still had so many questions. And not just that, I had something else to tell her; an announcement I knew she wouldn't like.

She wanted me to go to abnegation, but after my talk with Danny I knew that'd be impossible. I would not act selfish or a cowardly, I wouldn't join a faction based solely on how much protection it could offer me. I would not leave Danny alone, like his father had, when I had the opportunity to stay by his side. Dauntless might be hard, but if the test was right and I had the aptitude for it, then I'd make it work.

Staying in candor wasn't an option, and living amongst the abnegation would forever make me feel unworthy and shameful. That only left one other option. One other faction. One other future.

Thankfully, my thoughts were somewhat distracted by the fact that Mara and Danny were again bickering; something about how much money would be saved with the absence of the bottomless pit, ergo Danny, in the house. He retaliated with how actually he was doing us a favor by keeping our food stock in check. It was a light dispute though, and I could actually see Mara blink away her emotions whenever she looked at us for too long. She was trying to be brave.

When it appeared Danny's father truly wasn't going to show up, Danny had still held hope he'd somehow make it back earlier, I began to set up the couch for him to stay over. He thanked me and almost instantaneously fell asleep. I sat on the opposite couch and told Mara I'd go to my room when our mom came back.

I don't know how long I waited, but at some point I must've fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew Danny was shaking me awake.

"Sage, wake up! We've got to go, we can't be late for the Choosing Ceremony."