I clenched my fists and sighed. This was not good. I am not fit to be a mother. I wasn't ready.
I could barely take care of myself right now. If it weren't for Taro, I'd probably be dead.
Those guys in the alley were about to rape me and then probably kill me. That's one thing that he had saved me from.
Starvation was just about to take over. I wasn't a good theif, so I was forced to just scrabbled what I could, which was barely enough for a mouse.
So if I couldn't handle those small situations myself, how could I afford to have a child?
I could abort the baby. Then I would never have to have it. But, could I live with myself if I killed my own child before it was even born?
I could put it up for adoption. But what of some psycho ended up taking it in? How could I gaurentee its happiness and safety if I gave it up?
Then there was just the option of keeping and raising the kid. That seemed like the most likely outcome at this point.
After all, I would have Taro. He wouldn't leave me like this pregnant with his child. He would stand by me and help me take care of it. Maybe from that point we could become a family.
I sighed. First thing first. I have to tell him. I ran into the kitchen and made my way to the fridge and took off the emergency numbers.
I searched for his cell phone and grabbed the phone off of the dock and dialed the number slowly so I wouldn't screw up and be forced to start over.
I bit my nails when the first ring sounded and squealed. The second ring I became impatient. On the third ring Taro finally picked, "Hello?"
"Hey it's me," I said and gripped the phone tighter so it wouldn't slide out of my hand.
"This better be important Medusa. I'm kind of busy right now," he said.
"It is really important. I'm pregnant," I said quickly.
There was a loud thump like he fell or dropped the phone or something before a bunch of movement, "WHAT?!"
"Yeah, I am having a baby," I said.
"This can't be happening! This is not true," he said more to himself than to me, "Tell me this is all a lie!"
"I wouldn't lie to you about something like this Taro. You know that," there was a hint of sadness in my voice. Taro was taking this a lot worse than I had wanted.
"Alright this is going to be hard to say. Are you ready?" he said.
"Sure, but-what's going on Taro? Is something wrong?" I gripped the phone even tighter.
"Yes. Something is very wrong,"
"Wha-? I don't understand-"
"I'm married, Medusa. I have three kids and a wife. I live in house a couple blocks away from your apartment that I got you,"
My eyes widened and I paled. I started to feel my lungs start to deny air and I fell against the wall, "What?" I croaked.
"I thought you were dead! So I got married and tried to forget that you were ever in my life! Then when you came back-I remembered how much I loved you and started to cheat-"
"YOU SON OF A BITCH! How could you do this to me?! And your wife! AND YOUR KIDS! How the hell can you live yourself?!" I yelled into the phone.
"I don't know! It was out of love! I love my family, but I love you as well!" Taro said.
"Well its too late to care about me! Me and your fourth kid will be fine in our own! See you around the block officer!"
I hung up the hung and slammed it onto the dock and ran into my room and collapsed on the bed. I sobbed into the pillow and screamed.
This was ridiculous! How could Taro do this?! I thought he was better than this!
But now there was a new problem. What will I do with the kid? My orginal thoughts had been to keep it-but without Taro I didn't know what I should do.
Maybe I could-or should keep it. It was mine and now mine alone. Without its own Mother how could it live?
But there was a part of me that didn't want it at all. After all, it was a part of Taro. I never wanted to think of Taro ever again.
Maybe the child wouldn't look a thing like Taro. Maybe he would look like me. Or would it look like my father?
There was a knock on the door, "Miss? Are you alright?" it was probably the manager or something coming to make sure I wouldn't do anything crazy.
"GO AWAY!" I yelled and buried my face back into the pillow.
"I'm going to come in and check on you," yes, it was definitely the manager. I never liked that girl, so she was the last person I wanted to see.
There was a click of the door unlocking and then he rushed in, "Medusa?!" she called. I reluctantly crawled out of my bed and opened the bed room door.
"Oh God! Are you alright? You look awful," she said and guided me back to my bed and sat me down.
"Taro has been cheating on me. Apparently he has a family at a house around the corner and he's been jumping from lovers," I said and layed down.
"Oh my-that's terrible!" she said, "I can't tell you how bad I feel for you!"
"It gets worse," I said and sat up, "I'm pregnant with his kid,"
She blinked rapidly and put a hand on her heart, "Oh God."
I nodded, "My thoughts exactly,"
"Well, what are you going to do?" she asked me.
I looked at her with tears in my eyes, "I'm going to keep the child. I'll regret it if I rid myself of it,"
As soon as I said it-I knew that keeping the child was the wisest thing to do. It was mine after all, and if it resembled Taro who cared?
It was still my child. And who knows? Maybe it could be of use to me.
She patted my shoulder, "I'm here if you need anything," she said and stood up and walked out of the apartment.
That's too bad. I would probably be leaving soon. I didn't see any point of staying the place that was ours. In fact, I didn't see the point of even staying in this city.
But before I leave-there is five things I have to take care of.