I close the side-zipper of the Elie Saab dress. It's a floor length gown in black with rose gold lace that form flowers. The lace grows bigger at the side before ending in little roses at my cleavage. It's a beautiful, skin-tight gown. Perfect for the charity auction at my hospital.

Perfect for my first public appearance without him.

I look at my reflection in the mirror, checking on my hair and make-up. I kept my hair out of my face in a messy side bun. My makeup is quite heavy on the eyes but soft on the lips. I am wearing diamond drop earrings. I grab my black purse before rushing down the hall. I am already late. Adaline and Anastasia are going to kill me!

I can hear my Louboutins thud against the marble as I walk down the staircase in the kitchen. Childish laughter fills my ears as I rush through the kitchen and dinning room. I stop as I see my children sitting around the table, playing a game. They look happy.

They haven't looked like that in a long time.

Nathanial, the oldest of the triplets, is the first to look up. "Oh wow, you look beautiful Mommy!" He looks so much like his father - he's his copy, a constant reminder of Troy.

I smile at his words before I decide to make my way to them. Lorelai and Josephine look up as well and I can see their amazement in their eyes, "For once, I have to agree with him." Rory says as her eyes move down the dress.

"Definitely. You look like a princess!" Jo is smiling from ear to ear.

I blush and kiss them all on their cheeks, "I love you so so much!" I squeeze them so tightly, but I don't care. I haven't left the house since he left us - other than to work, I mean.

"We love you, too." They say out of one mouth before sitting down again.

"Alright guys, we can continue playing monopoly!" I hear the nanny's male voice saying as he walks into the living area across the room. His eyes focus on the sleeves of his chambray shirt that he folds up to his elbows before they move up. He stops abruptly in his movement as he sees me standing next to the game. His green eyes darken with desire and his lips part slightly. I enjoy this look for a moment because I haven't felt desired for such a long time. I might not feel any affection towards him, but it nice to know I can still raise a man's attention - especially at times when I feel lonely, devastated and unloved. I shouldn't allow this moment, but I feel too weak to tell him otherwise.

"Mommy looks like a princess tonight, doesn't she?" Jo asks smiling as her bright blue eyes look at him.

Kevin rips his eyes off of me for a second, looking at Josephine. "Yes…" his eyes look at me again, "yes she does."

I don't blush, feel aroused or unease. I feel nothing. Because those words didn't come out of the mouth I wanted to hear it from.

"You guys listen to Kevin." I say looking at my youngest children. They all nod in response.

"Have fun." Nate says with a soft smile on his lips. His father has the same smile.

I walk over to Kevin, who has been still glued on the spot his eyes saw me for the first time. "I'll be in late. Don't let them tell you otherwise. They will smear honey around your mouth to get an evening of Netflix and popcorn. They have to be in bed at nine - the latest." I explain like he doesn't know them already. After all he has been working for me since over six months now.

He nods and I can see his Adam's Apple moving. His breath is shallow, his eyes are glittering in arousal. God this man needs a woman in his live.

And it's not me.

"Good." I smile at him, feeling not the tiniest bit of attraction. He is not a bad looking guy, but my heart and all of my arousal belongs to someone else. "Love you!" I cry out as I walk into the foyer.

"Love you!" The triplets say back as I reach the front door. I take a deep breath, open the door and leave the house for an event for the first time since he left me.

I open the door of the black cabbie before taking a step towards the direction of St. Peregrin Laziosi. There is no official connection on a sign or statue to us because we didn't want to. I don't want the press and paparazzi to have their lenses stuck on us. Over the years, we have shown a lot of support to a lot of charities all over the world. We don't need the acknowledgement, we just want to help as much as possible. A red carpet leads the way into the building where the auction is held. There are a few women and men dresses in gowns and suits that stare at me. They recognise me. They all do.

Because I am a Bolton after all.

I walk in, keeping my held high and my shoulders back. I will survive this evening, I know I will. I just have to kept telling it to myself. I see my beautiful daughters standing next to each other near the entrance. Adaline is wearing a beige coloured gown from Dior that's strapless as well. Anastasia on the other side chose a deep red coloured Armani gown with long lace sleeves. They couldn't look more different - and more beautiful.

"Mom!" Della hisses at me as soon as her bright blue orbs spot me rushing over to them.

"I know, I am late and I missed my opening speech." I mumble.

"You are lucky I asked the chief of surgery to make a speech!" Della seems angry. She looks just like her father.

I hug them both, grateful that I don't have to do this alone.

"We love you, too." Ana's soft voice reaches my ears as they return my embrace. "Ready to head inside?"

I nod, "Yes."

"They already started with the auction of the objects, the vacations are next." Adaline informs me as we walk into the ball room. There are chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. Round tables are set in front of the stage. Dr. Karl Gordon is conducting the auction, the chief of surgery. He saved me from my speech. He saved my ass. Quickly, I follow Ana and Della through the room, hoping we don't disturb the auction. But of course people stare at us. Well, more me. They may not know that this hospital is owned by my husband and me but yet our name is big enough to keep them wondering why I am coming alone. And not with him.

"Last object for tonight," Dr. Gordon starts and my eyes stare at the beautiful Monet painting. "Water Lillies. By Monet. From a private household." His favourite painting.

And I'm selling it by auction.

"That's Daddy's favourite painting!" Ana breathes out. I didn't tell them.

"And you are selling it?!" Della hisses through her teeth, her bright blue orbs are dark. She looks like her father when he's mad with me.

"It's just a painting. It's for a good cause. Get over it!" I hiss back, not caring about the bitch I am right now. I have to let go of him. It's been nearly a year since he left me. It's time to let go.

"We're starting at 25 million pounds. Anyone?" The hands with signs start rising in record time, "25.5, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 30.5…" Dr. Gordon's eyes jump from one rising hand to the other. I knew this painting would bring a lot of money.

"It's not just a painting and you know it!" Adaline hisses before rising her arm, "35!" She calls out, silencing the ballroom.

"Adaline, take your hand down!" I hiss through my teeth, seeing the people staring at us.

"No!"

"35 million pounds, ladies and gentlemen. We are at 35, anyone's going higher?" Dr. Gordon seems as surprised as the rest of the room.

I close my eyes, she's unbelievably stubborn.

"36!" I hear a man yelling from the corner of the room. I look over my shoulder, seeing a blonde man with light blue eyes leaning against the wall. He looks confident in the black suit. He looks like one of us.

"Josh…" I hear Adaline whispering through her teeth before straightening her shoulders, "36.5!"

"40!" His bright green eyes are focused on my oldest daughter.

I look at her, "Who is he?"

"He is-" Ana starts.

"No one." She doesn't dare to put down her hand. "50!" Adaline doesn't even look at him.

"50! We are at 50 million for the Monet. Anyone going higher?" Dr. Gordon looks at the man standing in the corner, who shakes his head. He knows better than messing with my daughter. But who is he to even dare? "No? 50 going once, going twice… sold to the beautiful lady in beige!" With the hammer he hits against the table. People start clapping and looking at my daughter, making the connection to her father and me right away. Over the years the name Bolton only grew, almost turning into a legend.

"And now on to the trips…" Dr. Gordon's voice fades in my ears as I look at my daughter. She seems furious.

"How dare…no right…I can't…no…" I don't understand everything from the mumble that's coming out of my daughter's mouth. Suddenly, she hides herself, putting on the mask her father used to wear so many times before she rises from the chair, "Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom." With that she walks gracefully away from the table and out of the room. I keep my eyes on her before she disappears, turning left somewhere. I look to the corner where the other bidder stood, but it's empty. He left.

Something tells me he went after her.

"Who is Josh?" I ask Ana, having only caught a name.

Her full lips form a thin line, "I am not entitled to answer this question."

Something's up with that Josh guy. "Ana,"

"No. I won't say anything. If you want something to know ask her. I hardly even know anything anyway."

"Ana,"

"Mom,"

"Is he hurting her?"

"No I don't think so."

"Is she happy?"

Ana shrugs, "I'm not sure. But I can't say she's upset."

"Okay…" I sigh, "she won't tell me anyway." Not until she's ready or I push her too hard. But lately I didn't have the nerve to fight. I've been doing this the last year and I am exhausted.

"Probably not." Ana agrees with me.

I lean back in the chair and take a sip of my champagne. I might as well get drunk.

The car keys fall out of my hands as I try to open the front door. "Damnit!" I curse as I bent down to pick them up. Suddenly I remember that the front door isn't even locked and that we have a fingerprint sensor with a code. I open the door with my Louboutin heels in my hands. Barefoot I stumble through the foyer. It's four in the morning. And I am a tiny bit tipsy.

Or a lot.

The light coming from the living area sucks me in like bees round a honeypot. I walk into the wide living area, seeing the only light source is a lamp stand next to the couch. Kevin is sitting on it, reading a book.

"Kevin…" I breathe out.

His eyes look up, darkening as they see me. Although my senses are clouded with the champagne I drank, I can still see his desire for me. "Mrs. Bolton," he breathes out as he stands across me.

"Call me Gabriella. Gab-ri-ella." I say, pointing at his torso. Oh, this man has some abs!

"Gabriella…" his name rolls down my tongue but I don't feel affected by it. It's not the same sound as I am used to.

I tilt my head to the side, "Thank you for keeping an eye on the triplets." I nod and smile. I try to sound sober, but I am not sure if I am succeeding.

He places his hand on my right shoulder, "Anytime."

I feel his warm palm through my skin, but shake the feeling away. I don't want Kevin.

I want my husband.

But he takes a step closer to me anyway. I can feel his breath against mine and freeze.

"You look beautiful tonight, Gabriella." His eyes stare deeply into mine.

Shit no. No! "Kevin," I shake my head.

But he leans in to kiss me anyway.

I push his body softly away, "No, I don't think this is a smart move."

"I know you feel it, too. I know-"

"I am too much of a woman for you. And you are not man enough for me. Not anywhere close!" I explain in a normal voice, suddenly feeling awake. "I am a single parent, raising five children! Two of them may not be living with me but they are still my children." I gulp as I feel the tears building in my eyes.

"Listen I-"

"No, you listen! Don't you even dare to think about crossing that line ever again! My children love you. You have somehow made your way into their tiny little hearts and I won't allow you break it for the second time. I won't fire you. I could. I have every reason to but I won't. Because of my three perfect children sleeping upstairs. You distract them from their pain and for that I couldn't thank you enough. But this is all you ever get from me." There is anger glittering in my eyes and it seems to scare him. "Do you understand me?"

He remains silent.

"Do you understand me, Kevin?!"

"Yes I do, Mrs. Bolton."

"Good. Have a good evening."

He walks pass me without another word. As soon as I hear the door snap into place I let myself fall in the couch.

I am a single parent.

It just hit me now.

Almost a year later.

I feel a kick against my left cheek and growl as it resonates in my brain. I feel so hungover. I slowly open my eyes, seeing the foot that kicked me is Nate's. I place it carefully away from my face. Like every night since he left us, I slept with the triplets in our bed. Rory and Jo are laying on Troy's side while Nathanial is cuddled up next to me. I don't want to get up and I'd love to sleep in but I can't. I have children. I slowly rise from the bed and look at the tangled childish mess on our bed. I thought yesterday would be the first night they would sleep in their own beds - but I was wrong. When they sleep, they look peaceful. Sometimes I even think they are able to sleep in peace. But their nightly cries prove me otherwise. Suddenly, I feel my stomach turning over and I run into the bathroom. I quickly lock the bathroom before throwing yesterday's food into the toilet. Gosh, when was the last time I was so hungover?!

It must've been the day he left.

I rinse my mouth with water after nothing comes out of me. I wash my face with cold water, hoping it would help with the migraine that's coming. I look at my reflection, seeing the dark circles under my eyes and the dehydrated skin. I look pale.

I don't look like myself.

I strip out of one of Troy's old grey shirts and Armani briefs, not knowing how I changed into them. I don't even remember how I got home. Let alone how the night went. I climb into the shower and turn on the cold water before getting under the water jet. I wince as the cold drops clash against my skin, but this will be the only thing to wake me up even a little bit. In a few minutes I have to pull myself together again. I have to be there for my family, the people who need me the most. There is no time to be hungover or to grieve over him leaving us. There is no time.

I have to function.

I sit down on the lounging chair in the backyard, my eyes on my swimming and playing children in the pool. It's a hot Saturday noon and I am glad for the sun umbrella, the hat and most of all the sunglasses that I am wearing. They provide a protection shield.

"How was last night?" My stepbrother asks me. His skin is tanned from the Côte Azur where he had a photo shoot last week.

I look away from Jo, Rory and Nate. "I wouldn't know." I take a sip of my raspberry infused water. I should stay hydrated after the night I got so wasted. Truly wasted. So much that I even have a blackout. I don't think that ever happened to me.

He frowns at me, hiding his bright blue orbs behind Aviator sunglasses. "Why's that? Didn't you attend?"

"I did, it's just I don't remember hardly anything." The migraine went away after taking the double doses of painkillers.

"You got drunk?!" His voice raises with shock.

"Yes." I confirm, taking another sip. I thought I'd feel ashamed to admit it, but I don't. Ryan has seen me far worse than this.

"Well, what do you remember?"

"Getting ready, arriving and that's it." I didn't mention Kevin's stare at me when I said goodbye to the triplets. I don't think Ryan would want to hear that.

He takes off his sunglasses, his bright blue orbs filled with concern, "Nothing more?"

I shake my head, "I don't even know how much money the Monet raised."

"The Monet?"

"Troy's favourite painting that I wanted to sell by this auction. I don't even know who bought it. I remember nothing."

"You really must have gotten wasted." He puts the sunglasses back on his face, "I guess the evening didn't go well then."

I shrug in response, "I suppose. I just hope no paparazzi caught me this drunk." The media has been chasing us this past year, asking the most burning question over and over again. Why did he leave us.

He shakes his head, "No, the only photo available is the one with you and the girls. I already checked."

Ryan loves gossip more than anything. "Well that's nice." At least I don't have to make some story up towards the triplets.

Suddenly I hear a loud knocking against the glass facade and I wince. I turn around and see my oldest daughter standing in the living area with her hands placed on her hips. What is she doing here?

"Della!" Rory's and Jo's eyes light up at the sight of their oldest sister, while Nate doesn't even bother to look. He continues diving and swimming.

"I assume you have no idea what she's doing here." Ryan mumbles as we both rise from our sun lounges.

"You assume correct." I say back as we both head inside.

"I could use a little help, you know?!" Adaline's voice greets us as we enter the living area. The Monet is wrapped in parchment paper.

"Why is the Monet here?" Ryan asks her confused.

"I bought it."

"You what?!" I ask her shocked, "It was meant to go to charity. The money-"

"50 million are enough for charity. I would have paid even more just so that fucking Monet would stay right where it belong. On that wall!" She points behind her at the free space below the gallery. It hung there ever since I got him the Monet. Twenty years ago.

"You paid 50 fucking million pounds?!" Ryan seems shocked.

I shake my head, not because of the sum but because of her attachment to a simple painting. "Adaline," he is gone and he most probably won't come back.

"But you wouldn't remember because you got wasted! Wasted! I had to hide my own Mom from the media after only half of the night was over!" She hisses at me.

I gulp, I guess I deserved that.

"You shouldn't take to your mother like that!" Ryan hisses back at her.

I raise my hand, "No, it's okay." I know it's the anger, the grief and the frustration talking out of her. After all, we all are angry.

Angry with him.

But hanging up that painting in the same spot it used to be for twenty two years, won't bring him back.

Nothing will.

Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter. This one's a bit short, but the next one will be longer and answer lots of questions.

Please review!