Sorry about the last chapter. I was told that it didn't have any punctuation and I have no idea what happened. Hopefully this chapter doesn't have the same issue.

Bella

I rolled onto my back pinning Edward's arm beneath me. He reached across my body momentarily blanketing my torso with his, making my breath catch in anticipation over what he was about to do. I exhaled in disgruntled disappointment when I realized he was only reaching for my hand that was resting far away from him on the bed. He laced his fingers with mine and settled our joined hands atop my stomach as he soothingly swiped his thumb over my knuckles.

I knit my brows wondering exactly what I'd thought Edward was going to do? Well…I guess I know what I thought he was going to do. I'd thought he was going to kiss me. The real question however is what had I wanted him to do? When he held my hand, cupped my cheek or held me to him, the feelings were amazing, electric and addictive. I couldn't help but wonder how his kiss would feel. My mind ran rapid with thoughts of how his full lips would caress mine. Would he be sweet and chaste? Deep and slow? Eager and passionate? Dominant and teasing? The possibilities were endless and my body shuddered in response to my imaginings. Of course he noticed…

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I replied.

He knit his brows and I could tell he was trying to decide if he wanted to press the issue or not. Fortunately he decided not to. Unfortunately, he propped his head up on his hand and began tracing patterns on my arm with his fingers tips. I shuddered again. I saw the realization light up his eyes but before he could decide to say anything I started talking.

"How was your run with Jasper?" I asked. "Enlightening?"

I'd heard them leaving the house earlier, and my gut told me that they'd left to talk about me. I wasn't angry or offended but I did want Edward to know that I knew and was okay with it. I was aware that I was hostile and unapproachable more often than not. There wasn't much Jasper could tell him other than the way I felt when I came back. That wasn't something for me to make a big deal about.

He smiled sheepishly and nodded his head, "Yes."

I was curious to know what Jasper had said exactly but before I could ask there was a knock at the door. Edward's face darkened with annoyance. He hated when our time together was disrupted and honestly I did too.

"Bug off, Alice," he grumbled.

"But I need to speak with Bella!" she whined.

"No, you want to talk and it can wait," he retorted.

"It can't Edward! If she agrees, and I know she will, then I have to leave right away to get everything ready and in order before school tomorrow!" Alice pressed.

I quirked my brow wondering what the little seer had seen this time. I propped myself up on my elbows and Edward groaned knowing that our moment was broken and over.

"Come…," I began but Alice barged in before I could even finish the sentence. She came and sat crossed legged at the end of the bed facing me and Edward. She was carrying a thick black leather bound folder with my name embossed on the cover in a loopy elegant font in red. I sat up all the way, placed my back against the headboard and crossed my legs as well.

"What's that?" I asked nodding toward the folder.

"My plan," she replied with a devilish smile. I glanced at Edward and he just shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"I'm going to my room," he said before doing just that. I watched him go and then focused my attention back on the tiny vampire in front of me.

"Okay," I said letting her know to start talking.

"Well, I've been really trying to be okay with you wearing Edward's clothes, but I just can't, Bella," she exclaimed seemingly in some sort of distress. "The legs of his jeans are just too long and so are the sleeves. You just look so sloppy and thrown away," she said gesturing to the sweater and jeans I was currently wearing.

"Alice we've…,"

"…Been through this before," she finished for me. "I know that. What I have here however is a series of outfits either picked out or exclusively designed by me. You will be covered just as you are now, nothing will be exceedingly tight, but everything will be female clothing," she told me.

I sighed already feeling exasperated. Why couldn't she just let me be?

"Just look through the book, Bella," she said holding out the folder. I glared at her smiling face for a long time before finally snatching the folder. I opened it and found a series of white sheets of paper with sketches of me dressed in a variety of different outfits. I took my time looking at each one and found that her words had been mostly true. There were a few questionable items but they didn't seem too bad. Nothing was too revealing or would make me look sexy. I would look…cute at the very worse. I opened my mouth to respond but Alice cut me off.

"I've already seen you agree," she said.

I couldn't help the low growl forming in my chest. I hated when she said that. I had half a mind to just stop her visions all together. That way there would be no way for her to tell me what I would and wouldn't do.

"I don't want to do this. I don't want to wear this stuff," I said.

"There's no harm in it, Bella," she said her eyes taking a sympathetic quality. "What's the harm in looking pretty?"

I opened my mouth but closed it right back. I could have told her that there was very much harm in looking pretty, appealing, appetizing, and tempting. I closed the book and tossed it aside before mashing my fists in my eyes.

"Bella?" she asked the concern clear in her voice and for some reason it irritated me. I didn't want people to be concerned about me.

"I'm fine," I spat, realizing I was being unnecessarily harsh after the words had left my mouth. That didn't make me apologize though.

"Okay," she said surrendering.

I looked at her again and found that she was patiently waiting for my answer as she inspected her finger nails.

"I'll think about it, Alice," I finally said just wanting her to leave my space. She beamed a megawatt smile at me and I realized my response was foreseen.

"Okay!" she chirped and went skipping away.

"You know I helped Alice with that design book," Rosalie said nodding to the leather folder that had been left untouched on my bed for the past two days.

"Shall I reward you with a cookie?" I asked not looking up from the latest diary I'd snagged from Edward's room. They were honestly the best books I'd ever read. His stream of thoughts were so dark, so real, so painful. There was a century's worth of diaries and I planned to get through them all. I could have been farther along than I was but some of them were so complex that I read, reread, and studied. I was reading them out of chronological order, just picking them out of his trunk at random. It was more exciting that way.

"No, bitch," she sneered making me snort a laugh. "You can reward me by actually considering this," she said.

I heaved a sigh and rolled my eyes before tossing Edward's journal away in annoyance.

"For what?" I asked. "I don't want to be fucking paraded!"

She looked at me with confusion screwing up her face, "No one's trying to parade you," she replied.

"Then why the fuck is it so important that I dress the way someone else wants me to? I don't care about what I put on or how what I'm wearing makes me look! I'm not trying to… look… I'm not trying to attract… anyone!" I said struggling to find words. "Why does it fucking matter!"

"You tell me!" she shot back. "If you don't care then why can't you just wear this stuff and still not care what you have on?"

I stood up so that I could turn my back to her. I got the strong urge to run, run away from here and never return but my eyes were trained on that damned journal. No matter how badly I wanted to flee, the person who'd penned that journal kept my feet planted to the ground. My body just wouldn't process or obey anything that led to our separation. I couldn't run so I resorted to the only thing that I knew best: aggression.

"Fuck you, Rosalie!" I spat whirling around to look at her. "I don't have to explain shit to you! I like what I like and I want what I want! I like wearing Edward's clothes! I want to wear Edward's clothes! I won't have you, Alice or anybody else telling me what I should do! I make my own fucking decisions! I decided not to wear that shit long before Alice compiled that book. So no I'm not going waste my time and actually consider what's in that folder! I'm. Not. Wearing. It!"

Rosalie rose to her full height which instantly put me on guard. Seeing as she was on board with Alice about the fucking clothes led me to believe her loyalties did not lie with me at the moment so I could not use her loyalty to my advantage. That didn't bother me much though because I was sure that I could take her. The other five vampires down in the living room however would pose a bit of a problem. I took a step back to the window just in case fleeing turned out to be my only chance at survival.

"No one's trying to take your right to choose away," she exclaimed. "I really want to know why this is such a big fucking deal for you, Bella!"

"Because I spent over a fucking decade having someone else dress me! I spent years dressed up in dresses not even whores would don! I thought it was what I wanted! I thought I wanted men to lust after me, to want and desire me! I wore those ripped up dresses proudly loving the fact I could bring just about any man to their knees! I felt good about myself up until those men actually got to have me. Up until that same lust and desire turned into obsession and left me masticated and broken! I allowed myself to be a fucking play thing back then but never again! Never a-fucking-gain!" I roared.

"Bella, what are you talking about," Rosalie asked her tone turning soft laced with confusion and pity.

I hated that I'd let those words slip from my mouth but I couldn't take them back and I couldn't stop myself from continuing to purge my past.

"There weren't many women in Lucas's army. He preferred men soldiers and if he did allow a woman to join, she was there simply for the pleasure of the men and to change and recruit more vampires. I was allowed because of my gift. I was trained to fight with the men because I would clearly be an asset in battle and it was Lucas's order that I not be touched since I was his mate. Whoever dared break that rule would pay with their lives.

"That didn't go over well with the troops. As you know there's nothing people want more than what they can't have. The forbidden fruit. The men wanted me and they wanted me bad. Lucas and I decided to use that to our advantage. After every battle Lucas would let whoever made the most kills have me for one night. I was their incentive to fight harder.

"Lucas would go out, steal dresses and rip them to make the hem shorter and neckline lower. It drove the vampires crazy and I reveled in the way they looked at me. It was almost as if they needed me. I was amazed and insanely proud that sex with me had made our army stronger, that it put us on top, made every other army fear us. I rejoiced in the power my body wielded, but not for long. You see, after battle, men are drunk with victory, high from the thrills of battle, and their egos are inflated beyond belief. Now imagine how that would be amplified in a newborn vampire.

"Whoever had won their night with me would not make love to me like I'd thought. They'd fuck me. Hard. The sex alone would hurt and I'd try to calm them down but they were feral after battle and would hit, bite, scratch, and tear me into submission. Literally rip off my hands, arms, or legs so that they could have me. I grew to resent those fucking dresses and corsets Lucas gave me but I wore them anyway because it was for what I then thought was the greater good. Just thinking of them makes my skin crawl. I've had enough of dressing for others. I don't want anyone ever looking at me the way those men did. I've shown enough skin to last for eternity. I'm fine in what I have on, now. So fuck that book and everything in it!"

Rosalie

I listened to Bella's story all the while reeling with rage, horror, and disgust. My heart broke for her and the pain she must have endured. The anger was clear in her tone but the look in her eyes told a different story. They were excruciatingly desolate and hollow. I couldn't even bear to maintain eye contact with her.

I'd asked to know why Bella refused to wear women's clothing and now that I'd gotten my answer part of me regretted even asking. Another part of me however was glad, because I knew something of that pain. My own experience hadn't been as awful as hers but it was similar and I had survived. I would help Bella do the same because I'd vowed the second I laid eyes on her that I would aid her in any way I was able. And this, I could definitely help with.

"I've been dressed up and paraded as well, Bella," I said with a sigh. "When I was human my father dressed me in the best clothes money could buy and then had my mother send me to the bank where he worked with his lunch. He wanted me to be seen by the wealthiest family in our town. He wanted me to marry their son Royce King. Well my dad's plan worked and Royce and I were engaged. I loved the way he looked at me. There was always a hunger in his eyes and he was willing to give me any thing my heart desired. I was so unbelievably happy. I knew that I was the most beautiful girl around, everyone told me so. With Royce I was so close to getting everything I wanted, a wealthy husband and a home with white picket fences with kids. I longed to be wanted and cherished and Royce wanted me alright," I said not able to keep the bitterness from my tone.

"One night I was coming back from my best friend's house and I came across Royce and his friends. They were completely wasted. He called me over and he kept bragging to his friends about how pretty I was. He kept grabbing and groping me. His friends laughed and said they couldn't tell with all the clothes I had on. I tried to push Royce off me but he was stronger. Carlisle smelled blood and came to investigate. I was in so much pain…everything hurt and I was seconds away from death. Carlisle saved me though," I told her.

"After my change, I went after Royce and his friends. I killed them all and took my time with Royce. I wanted him to feel the pain he'd caused me, but even after I'd had my revenge I was still so angry. I couldn't get over it. The memories plagued me every second of every day. It wasn't until after I found Emmett that I realized I couldn't let Royce, his friends and what they did to me control my life. I would never move on with my life until I regained some power, until I let myself be happy in the face of what they did, until I proved that I was stronger. They robbed us, violated us, beat and scarred us but we're still here Bella!" I exclaimed. "Why should their grotesqueness impact our everyday life. Why should they still be in control?"

Bella wrapped her arms around herself and slowly sank to the floor. Her chin was to her chest making her head fall forward to curtain her face on both sides. She looked so small crouched in on herself. I moved forward to comfort her. She flinched away from my touch at first but calmed down when she realized it was only me. I pulled her to me until her head was rested on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her trembling body and stroked the back of her head.

"Fuck those men and what they did to you! You don't have to hide behind these clothes, Bella. You shouldn't hide behind these clothes. If you really and truly want to wear these baggy clothes, I'll never say a word about it again, but if you're wearing this because you're afraid then we'll have this argument everyday. I see how strong you are, Bella. I know that there's a fighter inside you that's powerful and indestructible. Let your fight and strength shine through. Don't cower underneath men's clothes, because girls like us don't cower and we don't hide. We don't settle for things because they are comfortable and safe. We do what we want. So as I said before, if you truly want to wear Edward's clothes be my guest. But I will not allow you to hide when I know it's beneath you!"

I lifted her chin with my finger until she was looking me in the eye. Her eyes were wide with fear and uncertainty, glazed over with unshed tears, and so heartbreakingly childlike despite their red color. I kissed the top of her head and pushed her hair behind her ear before getting up and leaving the room.

I kept my pace steady and even as I made my way down the steps and toward the front door with my fists balled at my sides. Emmett was up at my side the instant he saw me. He didn't touch or say anything to me as we exited the house together and made our way across the lawn. It wasn't until we passed the forest's edge that we simultaneously broke into a run and when I felt we were far enough away I collapsed into my husband's strong and waiting arms.

"I'm fucking mad!" I wailed clutching the back of his shirt in my fists. He held me tightly and rubbed soothing circles on my back. My knees had given out beneath me but he held me. Emmett was my rock and would never ever let me fall. " I can't even imagine being in that kind of pain over and over again. She didn't deserve that, Em! No one deserves that! Why would they do that to her! Why would Lucas let them do that to her! I'm…so pissed!" I cried as my body was racked with sobs.

"I know, baby. I know," he cooed into my ear. "I've never met Lucas and I don't know a thing about their relationship but what I do know is that, that guy was not her mate. A mate would never allow their other half to go through something like that," he said and his own anger was present and clear in his tone.

"But why doesn't she see that! I just don't understand! What else has that sick fuck done to her!" I screamed sobbing harder.

I don't know how long I cried or how long afterward it took for me to be ready to go back home, but Emmett held me the whole time being and doing everything I needed him too. I never felt more fortunate, lucky, blessed to have him. I hoped and prayed that Bella would one day know what it was like to have a true mate, to be loved unconditionally, worshipped, completely understood, and have the security of knowing you'll never be alone again.

When Emmett and I finally went back home, the house was alive with laughter, conversation, and music provided by Edward on the piano. My eyes instantly fell on Bella who was seated beside Edward on the piano bench. The sight of her dressed in girl's light khaki pants and a white tank top under a heather grey cardigan made me grin. Her eyes lit up her otherwise blank expression in the eerie way that let me know she was smiling on the inside as she laid her head on Edward's shoulder.

I wasn't fool enough to think that we had solved all Bella's problems or that she was healed but I was smart enough to know that she was on her way.